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Pehea e kōkua ai i ke kanaka i loko o kahi kūlana kaumaha, e hoʻomaopopo iā ia ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō, maopopo ʻoe iā ia? Ke kamaʻilio nei ka psychiatrist e pili ana i nā huaʻōlelo pono e lohe ai no ke kanaka e ʻeha.
1. "E ʻike wale: Aia wau ma laila"
Ma ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana ua mākaukau ʻoe e noho ma kēlā me kēia kūlana, ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe i ke kākoʻo. Hoʻomaopopo ka mea ʻeha i ka ʻeha, a i kekahi manawa kaumaha no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, i kona kūlana, a hoʻomaka ʻo ia e pani iā ia iho mai nā kānaka. Na kāu mau ʻōlelo e hoʻohaʻahaʻa iā ia me ka noho kaʻawale.
ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo i kekahi mea - aia wale nō, hoʻolohe, a i ʻole e hāmau pū. ʻO kou hele ʻana e kōkua i kahi kanaka e lanakila ai i ka blockade kūloko, e manaʻo ʻo ia: aloha ʻia a ʻae ʻia ʻo ia.
2. "Heaha ka'u e hana aku ai e kokua ia oe?"
ʻAʻole hiki i nā poʻe e loaʻa ana i kahi hoʻohaʻahaʻa noʻonoʻo ke pane pinepine i kēia nīnau. Eia naʻe, e kōkua kāu mau ʻōlelo i kekahi e hele ana i kahi wā paʻakikī e hoʻolohe iā ia iho, i kāna mau makemake.
ʻOiai inā pane lākou iā ʻoe ʻaʻole pono ʻoe i kekahi mea, manaʻoʻiʻo mai iaʻu - he mea nui loa ka lohe ʻana i kēia nīnau. A inā hoʻoholo kekahi e haʻi a hoʻolohe ʻoe iā ia, he kōkua nui ia nona.
3. “Makemake loa au iā ʻoe…”
I nā manawa kaumaha, nalowale mākou i ka hilinaʻi iā mākou iho a me ka mahalo pinepine iā mākou iho. A inā ʻoe e hoʻomaikaʻi, e kuhikuhi ana i nā ʻaoʻao lanakila a me nā ʻano maikaʻi: ka ʻono maikaʻi, ka nānā a me ka lokomaikaʻi, nā hiʻohiʻona o ka helehelena, e kōkua kēia iā ʻoe e hoʻomaka i ka mālama ʻana iā ʻoe iho me ka nānā a me ke aloha.
4. "ʻAe, manaʻo wau he paʻakikī a kūpono ʻole"
ʻO nā ʻike hohonu e hoʻihoʻi ai ʻoe i ka noʻonoʻo i nā hanana i hoʻomaka pinepine ai, a hoʻomaka ke kaiapuni e manaʻo he hoʻonui ʻo ia a ʻo ka manawa kiʻekiʻe kēia e huki pū ai iā ia iho.
I loko o kahi kūlana o ke kaumaha, lilo nā kānaka i hypersensitive, a i mea e hilinaʻi ai ka interlocutor iā ʻoe, he mea nui ia e hoʻomaopopo pono ʻoe e kaʻana like i kona mau manaʻo. Hoʻomaopopo ʻoe ua hana pono ʻole ʻia ʻo ia a paʻakikī nā kūlana āna e hele nei. Inā manaʻo ʻo ia ua ʻae ʻia kona mau manaʻo ʻawaʻawa, a ʻaʻole i hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻia, e loaʻa paha iā ia ka ikaika e neʻe ai.
5. "E kōkua au iā ʻoe e ʻimi i kou ala i waho"
Inā ʻike ʻoe i kahi kanaka e hāʻule ana i loko o ke kaumaha hohonu, ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa āu e hana ai ʻo ke kōkua ʻana iā ia e loaʻa ke kākoʻo ʻoihana.
No nā poʻe he nui ʻaʻole i ʻike i ka lāʻau lapaʻau ma mua, ʻo ka manaʻolana o ka hele ʻana i kahi loea he paʻakikī. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokaʻaʻike iā ʻoe iho i kahi psychotherapist a kono aku i kahi mea aloha e hele pū me ia i ka hālāwai mua. I loko o kahi kūlana kaumaha, ʻaʻohe ikaika e huli i ke kōkua o waho, a he waiwai nui kāu kākoʻo.
6. "Maopopo iaʻu iā ʻoe: ua hiki mai iaʻu kekahi"
Inā ua hele ʻoe a i ʻole kekahi mea kokoke iā ʻoe i nā ʻano like ʻole o ke ola, e haʻi mai iā mākou. ʻO kou hāmama e kōkua i ke kanaka e lilo i mea ʻoi aku ka ʻōlelo.
ʻOi aku ka nui o kāna kamaʻilio ʻana e pili ana i ka mea e hōʻeha ai iā ia, me ka ʻike ʻana i ke kani ʻana o nā huaʻōlelo, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka nele a me ka mehameha. A e hoʻomaka mālie ke kūlana e ʻike ʻia ʻaʻole manaʻolana.
E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Gene Kim he polopeka o ka psychiatry ma George Washington University.