Contents
He liʻiliʻi ka poʻe i mākaukau e ʻae i ka huāhuā ma ke ʻano ʻeleʻele, no ka mea, ʻaʻole kēia manaʻo e hōʻike iā mākou mai ka ʻaoʻao maikaʻi loa, ʻo kona mau hoa hele pinepine he huhū, huhū, huhū. Eia naʻe, ʻo ka ʻike ʻana i kahi "monster" iā ʻoe iho, ʻo ia ka loaʻa ʻana o ka lāʻau lapaʻau mua e kūʻē i kona hopena ʻona. Ma ka liʻiliʻi loa, ʻo ia ka mea a ke kanaka psychologist Juliana Brains i maopopo ai.
Hoʻomanaʻo mau ke ola iā mākou i ka nele o kekahi mea, e hoʻouna ana i nā hōʻailona ma o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. E loaʻa mau ana kekahi i ʻoi aku ka kūleʻa, kālena, hoihoi ma kahi kokoke. ʻO kekahi i hiki ke hoʻokokoke i ka pahuhopu ma mua o mākou.
Kūleʻa mākou i kēia poʻe i kēlā me kēia lā - he mau hoaaloha paha lākou, ʻohana a i ʻole nā hoahana. I kekahi manawa, ma hope o ka hālāwai ʻana me lākou, loaʻa iā mākou ka manaʻo o ka ʻawaʻawa a i ʻole ka ʻōlinolino maikaʻi ʻole i loko o ko mākou mau maka - kahi maʻa i ka lili.
Hiki ke wehewehe ʻia ka huāhuā ma ke ʻano he makemake ikaika e loaʻa i ka mea a kekahi. He manaʻo hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻole kēia, hiki ke hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ko mākou manaʻo ponoʻī, hoʻolilo iā mākou e ʻimi e hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ka inoa o haʻi a i ʻole i loko o nā ʻōlelo hōʻino huhū, e ʻimi ana i ka huhū. ʻAe, i loko a nona iho he manaʻo weliweli.
No laila he aha kā mākou e hana ai e hoʻopau i ka monster?
1. E ae i kou manao
He ʻanuʻu wiwo ʻole kēia, no ka mea, ʻo ia ka ʻae ʻana i kona nāwaliwali ponoʻī. ʻO ka hōʻailona mua o ka huāhuā huna ʻana paha he manaʻo noʻonoʻo ʻole o ka huhū i kāna mea. ʻO ka ʻike wale ʻana i kēia kanaka hiki ke hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka goosebumps, ʻoiai ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hana hewa. He mea pono e noiʻi koke i kēia hopena a hoʻoholo i ke kumu, ma mua o ka ulu ʻana o ka huāhuā a hōʻino i kā mākou pilina.
E noʻonoʻo i kāu mau ʻōlelo a ke kino: ʻO kekahi mau ʻano o ka huāhuā e hoʻoulu i kahi pane physiological fight-a-flight e loaʻa ana nā hōʻailona e like me ka piʻi ʻana o ka puʻuwai puʻuwai, ka haʻalulu ʻiʻo, a me nā ʻili hou.
2. E hoʻomaopopo ʻo ka haʻaheo ka ʻaoʻao o ka lili
He mea hoʻowalewale, akā maʻamau, he mea ʻole, ke hoʻāʻo e pale aku i ka lili me ka haʻaheo. "ʻOiaʻiʻo, he kaʻa maikaʻi kāna, akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o koʻu ʻano" - ʻo ia ala ʻaʻole ʻoe e hele mamao. I kēia manawa kūikawā, manaʻo paha ʻoe i ka palekana, akā ma hope a i ʻole e kū mai kekahi e loaʻa kahi kaʻa ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o kāu a me kahi hiʻohiʻona ʻoi aku ka nani.
ʻO ia hoʻi, ʻaʻole kūpaʻa ka hilinaʻi ʻana i nā ʻano ponoʻī o kekahi. A hanai ia i ka like unsustainable hierarchy o ka nohona hoʻohālikelike, kahi e pono e hooleiia i lalo a devalued i mea e hiki ai iā mākou ke «piʻi i luna» a me ka hope.
Ma mua o ka ho'āʻoʻana e hoʻonui i kou manaʻo pono'ī, e ho'āʻo e hōʻike i ke aloha iāʻoe iho. E hoʻomaopopo he paʻakikī ka ʻike ʻana i kekahi e hana maikaʻi ana ʻoiai ʻoe e hoʻāʻo nui nei e noho lele. E hoʻomanaʻo iā ʻoe iho ʻaʻole mamao ʻoe mai kahi hoʻokahi i kou mau manaʻo: ʻo ka poʻe kūleʻa loa i kekahi manawa pilikia i ka kānalua iā lākou iho. ʻO ke kīnā ʻole he kanaka.
3. E pani i ka lili me ke aloha
ʻOiai ʻo ka huāhuā me he mea lā he hoʻomaikaʻi i kekahi, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻohe kanaka. Hoʻemi ia i ka mea o ka huāhuā i kahi hiʻohiʻona hoʻokahi a hūnā i ke kiʻi piha o kēia kanaka a me ke ʻano o kona ola ʻana i kona ʻano like ʻole.
E noʻonoʻo ʻoe e lili ana ʻoe i kahi mea āu e manaʻo ai he hana nui, a laila ʻike koke ʻoe i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hele nei ʻo ia i nā pilikia nui a me ka ʻeha. ʻOi aku ka maʻamau o ia mau hihia ma mua o kā mākou e noʻonoʻo ai - ʻaʻole loaʻa iā mākou ka manawa e aʻo ai e pili ana i nā pilikia o kekahi (a me nā ʻoihana pūnaewele, ma ke ala, ʻaʻole kōkua i ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi kiʻi maoli).
ʻAʻole ia he mea pono mākou e ʻimi i nā nāwaliwali o ke ola maikaʻi o kekahi. Akā, pono mākou e mākaukau e ʻike i ke kanaka i kona piha piha, me kona mau ikaika a me kona nāwaliwali, nā hauʻoli a me ke kaumaha. E ʻae kēia iā mākou e ʻike i nā mea a mākou e nānā ʻole ai. ʻO ia ʻano manaʻo ʻekolu o ke kanaka e kōkua pū iā mākou e hauʻoli maoli i kāna kūleʻa.
4. E hoʻohana i ka lili no ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana iā ia iho
Inā paʻa ka huāhuā i kahi mea hiki ʻole iā mākou ke hoʻololi, inā he wā kamaliʻi paʻakikī, he hanana ʻeha, a he pilikia olakino paha, ʻo ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻohana i kēlā manaʻo i mea hoʻoikaika no ka hoʻomohala ʻana e hoʻonui wale i ko mākou huhū. Akā i kekahi manawa e haʻi mai ka lili iā mākou makemake mākou i ka mea hiki ke hoʻokō, pono mākou e hana i kekahi hana.
No ka laʻana, inā lili ʻoe i kāu hoa hana huahana, ʻike paha ʻoe hiki iā ʻoe ke hana hou aku iā ʻoe iho inā ʻoe e hoʻokele maikaʻi i kou manawa. Loaʻa paha iā ʻoe kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo waiwai mai kēia limahana.
5. Mai poina e pili ana i nā makana i loaʻa o ka hopena
Wahi a lākou, ʻo ka lili ke helu ʻana i nā pōmaikaʻi o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma mua o kāu ponoʻī. ʻO ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i nā mea maikaʻi i loaʻa iā mākou, ʻaʻole like ia me ka hoʻonui ʻana i ke kālā, e hōʻike ana iā mākou iho ua ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe. Akā, ʻo ka nānā hou ʻana i ka mea nui i ke ola, a me nā mea i ʻike ʻole ʻia a ʻike ʻole paha i loaʻa iā mākou a he mea liʻiliʻi loa ia i ka hoʻohālikelike kaiapili, e like me ka ʻuhane ikaika a i ʻole nā ʻano ʻike like ʻole.
ʻOiai ʻo ka huāhuā e ʻaihue iā mākou i ka ikaika a kāʻili iā mākou i ka hiki ke leʻaleʻa, ʻo ka mahalo, akā, hiki ke wehe i kahi kumu o ka ikaika a me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i kahi a mākou i manaʻo ʻole ai.
No ka mea kākau: ʻO Juliana Brains he kanaka psychologist.