Pehea e hāʻawi ai iā ia i kona wahi makua kāne?

Fusion makuahine: pehea e hoʻopili ai i ka makuakāne?

I ka hānau ʻana o kā lākou pēpē, nui nā makuahine ʻōpio i monopoli i kā lākou keiki liʻiliʻi. ʻO kā lākou ʻaoʻao, ʻo nā makuakāne, ka poʻe makaʻu i ka hana hewa a i ʻole ka poʻe i manaʻo ʻole ʻia, ʻaʻole ʻike mau lākou i ko lākou wahi i kēia trio hou. Hāʻawi ka psychoanalyst Nicole Fabre iā mākou i kekahi mau kī e hōʻoluʻolu iā lākou a hoʻokō lākou i kā lākou kuleana makua ...

I ka wā hāpai, noho ka makuahine e hiki mai ana i ka symbiosis me kāna keiki. Pehea e hoʻopili ai i ka makuakāne, ma mua o ka hānau ʻana?

No nā makahiki XNUMX i hala iho nei, ua ʻōlelo ʻia e kamaʻilio nā makuakāne me ka pēpē i loko o ka ʻōpū o ka makuahine. Manaʻo ka hapa nui o nā psychologists ua maʻalahi ke keiki iā ia, ua ʻike ʻo ia i ka leo o kona makuakāne. He ala hoʻi ia e hoʻomanaʻo ai i ka makuahine he ʻelua keiki. Pono ʻo ia e hoʻomaopopo ʻaʻole nona kēia keiki, akā he kanaka me ʻelua mau mākua. Ke lawe ka makuahine i nā hoʻokolohua, he mea nui hoʻi e hiki i ka makuakāne ke hele pū me ia i kekahi manawa. Inā ʻaʻole, pono ʻo ia e hoʻomanaʻo e kelepona iā ia e haʻi iā ia i ka hele ʻana o ka ultrasound a i ʻole ka nānā ʻana, me ka ʻole o ka nui. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻohe nīnau o ka hoʻololi ʻana mai ka pēpē i ka makuakāne e hiki mai ana. ʻO kekahi mea koʻikoʻi: pono e komo ka makua kāne me ka ʻole o ka koi ʻana iā ia e loaʻa kahi wahi like me ka makuahine. Inā hana ʻo ia a makemake paha e hana i nā mea āpau e like me ka makuahine, hiki iā ia ke nalowale i kona ʻano makua kāne. Eia kekahi, ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu kēia manaʻo e pili ana i ka hoʻokomo ʻana i ka makuakāne "ma ke kūlana" o ke kahu hānau, kokoke loa i nā pale keiki i ka wā hānau. ʻOiaʻiʻo, he mea nui ia e noho ai, akā pono mākou e hoʻomanaʻo ʻo ka makuahine ka mea e hānau ai ke keiki, ʻaʻole ka makua kāne. Aia he makuakāne, he makuahine, a aia kēlā me kēia kanaka i ko lākou ʻano ponoʻī, kā lākou kuleana, ʻo ia ke ʻano ...

Paipai pinepine ʻia ka makua kāne e ʻoki i ke kaula o ka ʻōpū. He ala hōʻailona anei kēia e hāʻawi iā ia i kāna kuleana ma ke ʻano he mea hoʻokaʻawale ʻaoʻao ʻekolu a me ka paipai ʻana iā ia i kāna mau ʻanuʻu mua ma ke ʻano he makua kāne?

Hiki i kēia ke hana mua. Inā he hōʻailona koʻikoʻi ia no nā mākua, a no ka makua kāne paha, hiki iā ia ke hana, akā ʻaʻole pono. Inā makemake ʻole ʻo ia, ʻaʻole pono e koi ʻia e hana pēlā.

ʻO ka manawa pinepine, no ka makaʻu i ka palaka, ʻaʻole komo kekahi mau kāne i ka mālama ʻana i ke keiki hānau hou. Pehea e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ai iā lākou?

ʻOiai ʻaʻole ʻo ia ka mea nāna e hoʻololi i ka diaper a hāʻawi i ka ʻauʻau, ua koʻikoʻi loa kona hele ʻana, no ka mea ke kamaʻilio nei ke keiki me nā mākua ʻelua. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻike ʻo ia i kona makuakāne a me kona makuahine, ʻike i ko lākou ʻala. Inā makaʻu ka makua kāne ʻōpio i ka palaka, ʻaʻole pono ka makuahine e pale iā ia mai ka mālama ʻana i ke keiki akā alakaʻi iā ia. ʻO ka hānai ʻana i ka ʻōmole, ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kāu pēpē, ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā diapers, e hiki ai i ka makuakāne ke hoʻopaʻa me kāna keiki liʻiliʻi.

I ka noho ʻana o nā makuahine me kā lākou pēpē, ʻoi aku ka poʻe makemake i ka makuahine, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka makuakāne ke hilinaʻi iā ia a i ʻole e hoʻolilo iā ia iho ...

ʻOi aku ka nui o kā mākou hoʻokumu ʻana i kahi pilina fusion, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka hoʻopau ʻana. Ma kēiaʻano pilina, ua manaʻoʻia ka makuakāne i kekahi manawa he "mea komo":ʻaʻole hiki i ka makuahine ke hoʻokaʻawale i kāna keiki, makemakeʻo ia e hana i nā mea a pau iā ia iho. Monopolizes i ke keiki, oiai he mea nui e paipai i na makua e komo, e komo, ma ka liʻiliʻi, e hele mai. He ʻoiaʻiʻo ke ʻike nei mākou i kahi ʻano hana makuahine. Akā, ke kū'ē nei au i ka hānai hānai lōʻihi, no ka laʻana. ʻO ka hānai ʻana a hiki i ka piha ʻana o ka pēpē i ʻekolu mahina a laila hiki ke hoʻomākaukau no ka kaʻawale ʻana o ka makuahine-pepe. A i ka manawa he niho a hele ke keiki, ʻaʻole pono ʻo ia e omo hou. Hoʻokumu kēia i kahi leʻaleʻa ma waena o ka makuahine a me ke keiki ʻaʻohe wahi. Eia kekahi, ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana i kahi meaʻai ʻē aʻe e hiki ai i ka makuakāne ke komo. He kuleana ko ka makua kāne e kaʻana like i kēia mau manawa me kāna keiki liʻiliʻi. He mea nui e aʻo i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana mai kāu keiki, a ʻoi aku ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana he ʻelua mau mākua, e lawe ana kēlā me kēia i kāna ʻike honua i ka pēpē.

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