ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka pilina ma waena o ka makuahine a me ke kaikamahine. ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i ko lākou ambivalence a me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā kumu e kōkua i ka hoʻomāmā ʻana i ka pilikia, wahi a ka ʻohana psychologist.
Hāʻawi ka moʻomeheu iā mākou i ka stereotype o ke aloha makuahine he kūpono a me ka manaʻo ʻole. Akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole maopopo ka pilina ma waena o ka makuahine a me ke kaikamahine. Hoʻohui lākou i nā ʻike like ʻole, ʻaʻole ʻo ka huhū ka hope.
Ke ala aʻe ia i ka wā e hoʻomaka ai ka wahine e hoʻomaopopo i kona ulu ʻana ... ʻO ka hele ʻana o kāna kaikamahine e hoʻomaopopo iā ia i kāna mea makemake ʻole e ʻike. ʻO ka makemake ʻole o ka makuahine ke kuhikuhi ʻia i kāna kaikamahine, me he mea lā ua hana ʻo ia me ka manaʻo.
Hiki nō hoʻi i ka makuahine ke huhū ma muli o ka puʻunaue ʻole ʻana o nā pōmaikaʻi o ka moʻomeheu: ʻoi aku ka nui o ka hanauna o ke kaikamahine iā lākou ma mua o ka mea nona ia iho.
Hiki i ka huhū ke hōʻike iā ia iho ma kahi ākea, e like me ka makemake e hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ke kaikamahine, no ka laʻana: "Ua like kou mau lima me nā paws monkey, a ua hoʻomaikaʻi mau nā kāne iaʻu i ka nani o koʻu mau lima." ʻAʻole ia i makemake i ke kaikamahine, me he mea lā e hoʻihoʻi ana i ka pono i ka makuahine, e hoʻihoʻi ana iā ia i kāna "aie".
Hiki ke hūnā maikaʻi ʻia ka huhū. "ʻAʻole anei ʻoe i ʻaʻahu māmā loa?" - kahi nīnau mālama e hūnā i ka kānalua hiki i ke kaikamahine ke koho i kona mau lole ponoʻī.
ʻAʻole hiki ke kuhikuhi pololei ʻia ka huhū i ke kaikamahine, akā i kāna mea i koho ʻia, ka mea i hoʻopiʻi ʻia a ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi ("Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa iā ʻoe iho he kanaka ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi"). Manaʻo nā kaikamāhine i kēia huhū huna a pane i ke ʻano.
Lohe pinepine au ma kahi hoʻokipa haʻi'ōlelo: "Ke inaina nei au i koʻu makuahine"
I kekahi manawa hoʻohui nā wahine: "Makemake au e make ʻo ia!" ʻO kēia, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole ia he hōʻike o ka makemake maoli, akā no ka mana o nā manaʻo. A ʻo kēia ka hana koʻikoʻi i ka hoʻōla ʻana i nā pilina - ka ʻike ʻana i ko lākou mau manaʻo a me ke kuleana iā lākou.
Hiki ke hoʻohana i ka huhū - hiki i ka makuahine a me ke kaikamahine ke hoʻomaopopo he ʻokoʻa lākou, me nā makemake a me nā ʻono ʻē aʻe. Akā i loko o nā ʻohana kahi "ʻano kapu ka makuahine" a pāpā ʻia ka huhū, hūnā ʻo ia ma lalo o nā masks ʻē aʻe a hiki ʻole ke ʻike ʻia me ke kōkua ʻole o kahi psychotherapist.
Ma ka pilina me kāna kaikamahine, hiki i ka makuahine ke hana hou i ka hana a kona makuahine ponoʻī, ʻoiai inā ua hoʻoholo ʻo ia ʻaʻole e like me ia. ʻO ka hana hou ʻana a i ʻole ka hōʻole ʻana i ka ʻano o ka makuahine o kekahi e hōʻike ana i ka hilinaʻi ʻana i nā papahana ʻohana.
Hiki i ka makuahine a me ke kaikamahine ke hoʻopili i kekahi i kekahi a iā lākou iho me ka ʻike inā loaʻa iā lākou ka wiwo ʻole e ʻimi i ko lākou mau manaʻo. ʻO ka makuahine, i ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kāna mea e pono ai, hiki iā ia ke ʻimi i kahi ala e hoʻokō ai i kāna mau pono a mālama i ka mahalo iā ia iho me ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻole i kāna kaikamahine.
A ʻo ke kaikamahine, e ʻike paha i loko o ka makuahine i kahi keiki i loko me ka makemake ʻole i ke aloha a me ka ʻike. ʻAʻole kēia he panacea no ka huhū, akā he ala i ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana i loko.