ʻO ka hana hoʻonaʻauao maʻamau, a i ʻole VEO, he aha ia?

He aha ka Ordinary Educational Violence (VEO)?

"He nui nā hana hoʻonaʻauao maʻamau. Aia ke ʻano hana ʻino e like me ka paʻi, paʻi, hōʻino a hoʻomāʻewaʻewa paha. ʻO ka mea i kapa ʻia he "injunction paradoxical" kekahi ʻāpana o ia. Hiki i kēia ke noi aku i ke keiki e hana i kahi mea hiki ʻole iā lākou ke hana, no ka mea, ʻaʻole kūpono ia i ko lākou mau makahiki.. A i ʻole e waiho i mua o nā pale no ka manawa liʻiliʻi, "wehewehe ʻo Nolwenn LETHUILLIER, ke kauka ʻepekema mai ke komite psychologue.net.

wahi a ka bila kū'ē i ka hana hoʻonaʻauao maʻamau, apono ʻia e ka Pāremata i ka makahiki 2019: "Pono e hoʻohana ʻia ka mana makua me ka ʻole o ke kino a i ʻole ka hoʻomāinoino kino". "A hoʻomaka ka hana hoʻonaʻauao maʻamau i ko mākou manaʻo, ʻike a ʻike ʻole paha, ʻo ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa a hoʻoheheʻe i ke keiki », Hōʻike i ka psychologist.

Ma waho aʻe o ka paʻi ʻana a i ʻole ka hahau ʻana, he aha nā hana hoʻonaʻauao maʻamau?

Wahi a ka psychologist, nui nā ʻano ʻē aʻe o VEO, ʻaʻole maopopo akā maʻamau, e like me:

  • ʻO ke kauoha i hana ʻia i he keiki uē e hooki i ka uē ʻana iā hou.
  • Ke noʻonoʻo nei he mea maʻamau ke komo ʻana i ka lumi o ke keiki me ke kīkē ʻole i ka puka. No laila mākou e hoʻohuli ai ʻaʻohe o ke keiki ponoʻī..
  • No ke kāhiko ʻana i kahi keiki leo nui e "neʻe" nui loa.
  • Hoʻohālikelike i nā kaikaina, ma ka hōʻino ʻana i kahi keiki: "ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu i kona mau makahiki, hiki i ka mea ʻē aʻe ke hana me ka pilikia ʻole", "Me ia, ua paʻakikī mau e like me ia".
  • "Akā, ke hana nei ʻoe ma ke kumu? E noʻonoʻo e pili ana, "i ʻōlelo ai i kahi keiki e hakakā nei me nā haʻawina home.
  • Hana i olelo hoowahawaha.
  • Haalele a liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi no ʻoe iho me nā keiki ʻōpio i ka wā ʻaʻole like kona kūkulu ʻana a i ʻole nā ​​mana like.
  • Haʻalele i nā keiki waihoʻia keiki ʻē aʻe no ka mea he "maʻamau" ka makemake ʻole e pāʻani me nā mea a pau.
  • E kau i kahi keiki ma ka ipuhao i nā manawa paʻa, a ma mua o ke kuʻi ʻana o ka hola no ka loaʻa ʻana o ka maʻemaʻe.
  • Eia kekahi: mai hoʻonoho i nā palena maopopo a ʻike ʻia no kāu keiki.

He aha nā hopena pōkole o ka hana hoʻonaʻauao ma luna o nā keiki (VEO)?

"I ka wā pōkole, aia ke keiki i kahi mea e pono ai: hiki ole iaia ke noho hookahi. No laila, e hoʻokō a kūʻē paha ʻo ia. Ma ka waiho ʻana i kēia hana ʻino, ua maʻa ʻo ia i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana he mea nui ʻole kāna mau pono., a he mea pono ke lawe ole ia lakou. Ma ke kūʻē ʻana, kūpaʻa ʻo ia i ka ʻōlelo a ka poʻe mākua no ka mea e hoʻopaʻi nā mākua iā ia. I kona manaʻo, loaʻa iā ia kāna mau pono ponoʻī hoʻopaʻi hana hou. Hiki iā ia ke hoʻomohala i nā hōʻailona o ke koʻikoʻi ʻaʻole e hopohopo nui i ka poʻe a puni iā ​​​​ia, no ka mea, hoʻomanaʻo wau iā ʻoe: ʻaʻole hiki i ke keiki ke noho hoʻokahi, "wahi a Nolwenn Lethuillier.

Nā hopena o nā VEO i ka wā e hiki mai ana o ke keiki

"I ka wā lōʻihi, ua hana ʻia nā ala like ʻelua", ʻōlelo ka loea:

  • ʻO ka nele o ka manaʻo ponoʻī a me ka hilinaʻi i kona mau manaʻo, hopohopo, pilikia, ka hoʻomohala ʻana i ka hyper vigilance, akā, e pahū pū me ka huhū a i ʻole ka huhū. Hiki ke hoʻopaʻa ʻia kēia mau manaʻo ikaika e like me nā addictions, ma nā ʻano like ʻole.
  • Nui nā poʻe mākua e lawe i nā mea a lākou i ʻike ai i ko lākou wā kamaliʻi e like me ka mea maʻamau. ʻO ia ka huaʻōlelo kaulana "ʻaʻole mākou i make". No laila, ma ka nīnau ʻana i ka mea a ka hapa nui i ʻike ai, me he mea la e ninau ana kakou i ke aloha i loaa mai i na makua a me na kumu. A he mea hiki ole ke hoomanawanui. No laila ka manaʻo o ke kūpaʻa ma ka hana hou ana i keia mau hana ʻo ia ka mea i hōʻeha nui iā mākou.

     

Pehea e ʻike ai i ka hana hoʻonaʻauao maʻamau (VEO)?

"ʻO ka pilikia, ʻaʻole lawa ka ʻike o nā mākua i nā hopena, e like me ka nui o ka hana ʻino, ka mea i pakele ia lakou. Akā ma waho aʻe o kēlā, paʻakikī ke ʻike hiki iā mākou e hana ino i ka kakou mau keiki », E hoakaka ana ia Nolwenn Lethuillier. Hiki i ke kanaka makua ke kaumaha, ke kaumaha i ke keiki. "ʻO ka hana ʻino i hōʻike ʻia iā ia iho he hemahema mau ʻōlelo, a" hiki ʻole ke ʻōlelo "i kekahi manawa ʻike, akā ʻike pinepine ʻole ʻia, lawe ʻia e ka ukana naʻau. Pono e ʻike i kēia mau wahi hina o kā mākou mau hemahema narcissistic.. E pili ana i ke alo i kou hewa i mea e kala ai iā ʻoe iho, a hookipa i ke keiki i kona ʻoiaʻiʻo ”, wehewehe ka psychologist.

Hiki iā mākou ke hoʻololi i ko mākou manaʻo. "Loaʻa pinepine ka manaʻo o nā mākua e hoololi i ka manao ma hope o ka ʻōlelo ʻana ʻaʻole e hōʻike ana i ka nāwaliwali, a lilo ke keiki i mea hoʻoweliweli. ʻO kēia makaʻu mai ka pilikia ʻole o loko mai ko mākou wā kamaliʻi i hoʻomāinoino ʻia. ".

He aha ka hana inā loaʻa ke keiki i ka VEO?

« ʻO ke ala maikaʻi loa e hōʻoluʻolu ai i kahi keiki i loaʻa i ka VEO, ʻo ia ka ʻike ʻana, ʻae, ua hele lākou i kahi mea paʻakikī a ʻeha hoʻi, a e ʻae iā lākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāna hana iā lākou.. Ma muli o ka makahiki o ke keiki, he mea nui paha e hāʻawi iā ia i nā huaʻōlelo: "ʻO wau, inā i haʻi ʻia iaʻu, inā ua kaumaha wau, inā ua ʻike wau ʻaʻole kūpono ...". Pono mākou e wehewehe iā ia ʻaʻole pono ʻo ia i ke aloha, no ka mea aia ke aloha: e like me ke ea a mākou e hanu ai. Ma ke ʻano he mea kākau makua o VEO, he mea nui ia e ʻike i kou mau hemahema a me nā hewa, e ʻōlelo mai ua hewa mākou, a e hana mākou i ka mea maikaʻi loa e pale aku i ka hana hou ʻana. He hoihoi paha ia hoʻonohonoho i kahi hōʻailona ke manaʻo ke keiki i ka hana ʻino ʻia », Hoʻopau ʻo Nolwenn Lethuillier

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