ʻOiai, hōʻike nā mākua i kēlā ʻano mālama a me ke aloha, ʻae mākou, ʻoluʻolu ke hoʻolohe iā lākou. Akā i kēlā me kēia manawa ke kani kani nā perustory makuahine, makemake wau e hana i ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe. ʻOiaʻiʻo?
ʻO kā mākou loea ʻo Tatiana Pavlova, PhD ma Psychology, kahi psychologist hana.
“E kau i kou pāpale. E holoi koke i nā pā. Noho i lalo e ʻai, etc. ” Me he mea lā e ʻoluʻolu wale kēia hopohopo hoʻopā. Akā no kekahi kumu makemake wau e namunamu i kekahi mea e like me "ʻae, maopopo iaʻu kēlā" i kekahi o nā kauoha a koʻu makuahine, e like me ka wā kamaliʻi. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, ua lilo mākou i poʻe mākua ma mua loa a ke hānai nei i nā keiki iā mākou iho. No ke aha mākou e kū ʻole ai i ka noho aliʻi? Ma muli o ka hoʻowahāwahā ʻia o kekahi mau kuhikuhi iā mākou, ko mākou hiki ke hoʻoholo, hoʻoholo a pēlā aku.
"E loaʻa paha iaʻu kāu mau pilikia." ʻO ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i ke koʻikoʻi o kahi pilikia he mea traumatic lawa ia no ke kanaka no ka mea e hoʻohaʻahaʻa ia i kona mau manaʻo. I kēlā me kēia makahiki, hiki i nā pilikia o ka naʻau ke koʻikoʻi a hiki ke hoʻoweliweli a hoʻoweliweli hoʻi. A ʻaʻole ka kiko i ka pōʻaiapili o ka pilikia, akā i kāna ʻike ʻike. ʻO kahi laʻana, ʻaʻole e hoʻopili ʻia kekahi kanaka e ka loiloi maikaʻi ʻole o kona helehelena, a e hoʻohoka ʻia kekahi i kekahi no ka manawa lōʻihi.
“Ua ʻai ʻoe? Ua poina anei ʻoe e lawe i ka lāʻau? Ke hele ʻoe i waho i ke alanui, e akahele. “ He mea maikaʻi loa nā nīnau maʻalahi a pono hoʻi no nā keiki "absent" a noʻonoʻo ʻole paha. Akā i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, inā makemake nā mākua e hānai i kahi kanaka aʻo kūʻokoʻa, a laila pono ʻoe e hilinaʻi hou iā ia a aʻo iā ia e hoʻonohonoho ʻia mai ka wā kamaliʻi. Eia hou, makaʻu nā nīnau hoʻopulapula, subconsciously mākou iho i lilo i ka maʻi puʻuwai me kēia hopohopo, a lilo mākou hōʻoluʻolu, hōʻoluʻolu ʻole.
“Inā ʻoe e 18, a laila…” (e mālama ʻoe i kou manawa; e hana ʻoe i kāu mea e makemake ai, a me nā mea ʻē aʻe.) I kēia manawa, hele ke keiki i ke kahua o ka ʻike iā ia iho i kahi kaiāulu makua, ʻaʻole ia he keiki, akā he makua, mākaukau e hoʻoholo. Hoʻomaopopo hou nā mākua i ka wā ʻōpio o kā lāua keiki. Hiki i kahi ʻōpio ke nānā i kēia mau huaʻōlelo me ka hilinaʻi ʻole iā lākou iho, ʻōlelo lākou, a hiki i ka makahiki 18 ʻaʻole ia he kanaka, haʻahaʻa. A hāpai ka ʻōlelo i kahi kūʻē kūʻē kūloko.
“Kali, ʻaʻole iā ʻoe ia manawa.” Ma kahi o 7 mau makahiki, hoʻomaka ke keiki i kahi pilikia psychological hou, ka pahuhopu nui o ia ka hoʻokumu ʻana i kahi "I" kaiapili. Kūlike kēia manawa me ka hoʻomaka o ke kula. I ke kula kamaliʻi, ua ola ke keiki a kamaʻilio e like me nā lula like, akā ua hoʻololi koke ʻia kahi mea, a koi lākou i kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa loa mai iā ia. He aha a hiki i ka wā i hoʻopā aku nei nā mākua i kēia manawa ke kumu o ka hauʻoli ʻole: ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻano e like me kēlā, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio pēlā, a pēlā aku. minuke, hoʻolohe pono ʻo ia, e hoʻāʻo nei e kamaʻilio like like. Kūʻē i kēia kāʻei kua, ʻo ka huaʻōlelo "Kali, ʻaʻole i ou lā" hiki iā ia ke hōʻeha nui i kahi keikikāne a i ʻole kaikamahine, e hoʻokuke aku, e hoʻoikaika i ka manaʻo o ka mea nui ʻole a me ka mehameha. He mea nui ia mai ka wā kamaliʻi mai e hōʻike i ke keiki i kona mea nui, e hoʻolohe.
“ʻAʻole lākou i nīnau iā ʻoe. E noʻonoʻo mākou me ka ʻole o ʻoe. “ ʻO kekahi huaʻōlelo maʻamau e hōʻike ai i ka ʻohana ʻaʻole manaʻo ʻia ke keiki ma ke ʻano he kanaka, ʻaʻohe manaʻo o kona manaʻo i kekahi mea. Pili ia i ka manaʻo pilikino a me ka waiwai ponoʻī. A laila ulu aʻe ke keiki, akā koe nā mea paʻakikī.
"Ua hele koke wau e hana i kaʻu haʻawina home." Koi aku nā mākua i ka makemake ʻole o nā haumāna e hana i kā lākou haʻawina home. ʻO nā huaʻōlelo he non-pedagogical, e ʻōlelo kekahi kumu. Akā i loko o nā ʻohana me nā keiki palaualelo, nānā ʻole i ka ʻike, kani pinepine ia. Akā ʻo ka hoʻohui ʻana o ka huaʻōlelo "wikiwiki" i kekahi kuhikuhi e hāpai i ka pīhoihoi, ka lapuwale, ka hoʻopilikia a me nā kūʻē kūʻē i loko o ka ʻuhane - makemake ʻoe e hana i nā mea āpau a puni. No laila ke ahonui hou aku me nā mākua a me ke akahai i nā huaʻōlelo - a ʻoi aku ka nui o ka hopena.
"Mai hele i kahi e noi ʻole ʻia ai ʻoe." Hiki i kēia huaʻōlelo ke paʻi i kāu pono ponoʻī, hoʻonāukiuki a me ka huhū i kahi kanaka palekana ʻole. Ma ke ala, hiki ke lohe ʻia ia mau huaʻōlelo ʻaʻole wale ma ka ʻohana ma waena o nā mākua a me nā keiki, akā i ka pōʻai o nā hoaaloha, i ka hui hana. Ma waho aʻe o ka hōʻino, ʻaʻohe mea i kēia ʻōlelo, e hemo i ka ʻōlelo, ʻoiai inā maʻa ʻoe i ka hoʻolohe ʻana mai ka wā kamaliʻi.
“Mai akamai!” Ma ke ʻano he lula, pīhoihoi ka ʻōlelo, no ka mea pinepine pinepine mākou e makemake e kōkua, hoʻāʻo mākou e hāʻawi i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maikaʻi, ʻaʻole hōʻike i ko mākou ʻike. ʻO nā mea lanakila nā mākua, mai ka wā kamaliʻi, ʻike i ke ʻano o ka pēpē a hoʻolohe hoʻolohe i kona manaʻo.
"He nui kaʻu mau pilikia me ʻoe ʻole, a ʻo ʻoe ..."… Nā huaʻōlelo e hoʻohua i ka hewa hua ʻole. ʻAʻole maopopo i ke keiki ke kumu e hoʻopaʻi ʻia ana e ka hōʻole ʻana i ke kamaʻilio pū me ia, a manaʻo maoli i kēia hewa. Hoʻomaopopo mākou i ka ʻōlelo e pili ana i kahi kūlana hopohopo, overexertion, ʻano ikaika o ka mea haʻi ʻōlelo. He mea paʻakikī ʻole ia, pono i nā mākua ke kaohi i ko lākou naʻau a hoʻolei ʻole iā lākou i nā mea aloha.