Hoʻopunipuni maikaʻi: no ke aha he mea ʻino?

Hiki i nā manaʻo ke hoʻololi i ke ola. ʻO ka manaʻoʻiʻo i ka mea maikaʻi loa e kōkua i ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i nā mea hou aku a ʻaʻole e nalowale ka manaʻolana. Hōʻike nā haʻawina e ʻike ka poʻe optimist i ka liʻiliʻi o ke koʻikoʻi i kēlā me kēia lā a ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ke kaumaha. Eia kekahi, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o lākou ma mua o ka poʻe i ʻike i ke ola i nā kala ʻeleʻele.

Akā, ʻo ka manaʻo manaʻo maoli ke kī i kahi ola hauʻoli a pilikia ʻole?

Ua ʻae ʻia ka maikaʻi he panacea no nā pilikia. ʻO nā poʻe maʻi maʻi maʻi e ʻōlelo ʻia e nānā i ka honua me ka manaʻo maikaʻi, me ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻana he mea koʻikoʻi kēia, inā ʻaʻole pono ke ʻano o ka mālama kūleʻa. ʻOiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole ia. ʻAʻole hōʻoia ʻo Optimism e ola hauʻoli mākou ma hope. Hiki i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ke hoʻopili i ke olakino, akā ʻaʻole kēia wale nō ka mea nui, a ʻo ka hiki ke ʻike i ka maikaʻi i nā mea āpau ʻaʻole ia he ho'ōla mai nā kūlana maikaʻi ʻole: ʻo ia wale nō ka mea maʻalahi ke ʻike iā lākou.

He aha ka hopena i ka wā e pau ai ka hana maikaʻi a holo mākou i nā pilikia? Ke aʻo mai nā mea ʻē aʻe iā mākou e nānā i nā mea āpau maʻalahi, akā ʻaʻole hiki?

ʻO kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e noʻonoʻo ai mākou no ke aha mākou e kūleʻa ʻole ai: no ke aha e hiki ʻole ai iā mākou ke nānā ʻokoʻa i ka honua, mahalo i kā lākou hana no mākou, e ʻakaʻaka pinepine. Me he mea lā ua ʻike nā kānaka a puni i ka mea huna a lākou i poina ai e hoʻolaʻa iā mākou, a no laila ʻaʻohe mea e hana. Hoʻomaka mākou e manaʻo kaʻawale, hoʻokahi, a hoʻomaopopo ʻole ʻia, kākau ʻo Whitney Goodman.

ʻAʻohe wahi no nā manaʻo maoli ma hope o kahi manaʻo maikaʻi i ka honua, ke hoʻokau nei mākou iā mākou iho i kahi pahele. Inā ʻaʻohe manawa kūpono e ola ai i nā manaʻo, a laila ʻaʻohe ulu pilikino, a me ka ʻole o kēia, he hoʻopunipuni wale nō kekahi.

Inā hōʻole mākou iā mākou iho a me nā mea aloha i ke kuleana e hōʻike i nā manaʻo maoli, lilo ka manaʻo maikaʻi i mea ʻawaʻawa. 'Ōlelo mākou: "E nānā iā ia mai kēlāʻaoʻao - hiki keʻoi aku kaʻino", me ka manaʻolana eʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka mea kūkākūkā mai ia kākoʻo. He manao maikai ko makou. A ʻoi aku paha ka hewa o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Akā,ʻo ia mau'ōlelo e hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ka manaʻo o ke kanaka a hoʻonele iā ia i ke kuleana i nā manaʻo maikaʻiʻole.

Nui nā pōmaikaʻi o ka noʻonoʻo maikaʻi, akā i kekahi manawa ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka nānā ʻana i ka honua ma o nā aniani kala rose. A laila hiki iā mākou ke ʻike i ka maikaʻi a me ka maikaʻi ʻole i nā mea e hana nei, ʻo ia ka mea hiki iā mākou ke hana i ke kūlana a ola.

I loko o ka hui o kahi kanaka manaʻo ʻino, paʻakikī pinepine iā mākou. ʻOi aku ka paʻakikī o ka hoʻāʻo ʻole e hana i kekahi mea. Manaʻo mākou i ke kōkua ʻole a makemake mākou e hoʻoponopono i nā mea. ʻO kēia hemahema ka mea e ʻōlelo ai mākou i nā banalities e hoʻonāukiuki i nā mea āpau, no ka laʻana:

• «E nana mai kela aoao mai»;
• "E piʻi aʻe ka poʻe, a hoʻopiʻi ʻoe";
• "E minoʻaka, ua maikaʻi nā mea a pau";
• "E nānā wale i ka honua me ka maikaʻi."

Me he mea lā e kōkua paha kēia mau ʻōlelo iā mākou, akā ʻaʻole kēia ka hihia. Inā mākou ma kahi o ka mea kamaʻilio, e ʻike maoli mākou iā mākou iho i ka huhū. A ke haʻi hou nei mākou i kēia mau ʻōlelo leo.

He paʻakikī ke nānā wale aku i ka hewa o ka mea aloha. Eia naʻe, ʻo ka noho ʻana ma laila ka mea maikaʻi loa āu e hana ai no ia a no ʻoe iho. E hoʻomaopopo he pilikia paha ka mea e hana nei. Ma hope paha e lilo ia i mea pono, akā i kēia manawa ua ʻeha.

E ho'āʻo e hōʻole iā ʻoe iho a me ka interlocutor i ke kuleana i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole. ʻO ka mea maikaʻi loa āu e hana ai no kekahi, ʻo ia ka hoʻolohe a hōʻike i ka ʻike. Eia kekahi mau ʻōlelo e kōkua ai:

• "E haʻi mai iaʻu i kou manaʻo i kēia manawa";
• "Maopopo iaʻu";
• "E hai mai oe ia'u, ke hoolohe aka nei au ia oe";
• "Manaʻo wau i ke ʻano o ia mea";
• "Ua maopopo iaʻu he paʻakikī loa kēia iā ʻoe";
• "Makemake au e kōkua";
• "Ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei au iā ʻoe".

E hana hou i ka ʻōlelo a kāu hoa kamaʻilio e hōʻike i kou hoʻolohe ʻana. E hoʻohana i ka ʻōlelo kino e hōʻike i ka hoihoi: e nānā pono i ke kamaʻilio, e neʻe iā ia ke kamaʻilio. E kamaʻilio liʻiliʻi a hoʻolohe hou aku.

Hiki ke aʻo ʻia ka haʻawina mai ke kūlana ma hope o ka ʻae ʻana a me ka ʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo. Ma hope wale nō e hiki mai ka manawa no ka manaʻo maikaʻi.

ʻO ka manawa pinepine, hiki i ka poʻe e nānā pono i ka honua ke ʻike i ka manaʻo i loko o nā kūlana paʻakikī a maikaʻi ʻole. Hiki iā lākou ke ʻae iā lākou me ka ʻole e hōʻino iā lākou iho a i ʻole nā ​​​​mea aloha. ʻO ka maʻalahi o ka noʻonoʻo ka hōʻailona o ia poʻe.

Hoʻohewa pinepine ka poʻe pessimists iā lākou iho a me nā mea aloha i ka wā e loaʻa ai kahi mea ʻino. He poʻe hoʻohewa koʻikoʻi lākou, paʻakikī pinepine iā lākou e ʻike a hiki i kā lākou pahuhopu pahuhopu. Akā ʻo ka poʻe pessimists a me ka poʻe manaʻo maikaʻi e pono i ka manawa e kū ai i kahi kūlana paʻakikī a ola i nā mea e hana nei.

E ho'āʻo e hoʻomanaʻo i kēia mau mea:

• ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke aloha koke iā ʻoe iho.
• He mea maʻamau inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hele i waho e nānā pono i ka honua.
• He maikaʻi ke lawe i ka manawa e kala ai iā ʻoe iho a hoʻoponopono i ke kūlana traumatic.
• ʻAʻole maikaʻi inā manaʻo ʻoe ʻaʻole e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi i kēia manawa.
• He mea maʻamau inā manaʻo ʻoe he hewa nui ka mea e hana nei.
• ʻO ke aloha iā ʻoe iho ʻaʻole ia he hana hoʻokahi, hiki ke lawe i ka manawa.
• Ma muli wale nō o kou manaʻo he hewa nā mea a pau i kēia manawa, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e mau ana kēia.
• Hiki wale mai kekahi mau mea. ʻAʻohe hewa i ka ʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole ma muli o kēia. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hauʻoli i nā manawa a pau.

ʻO ka nānā ʻana i ka honua me ka manaʻo maikaʻi, he mea kupanaha. Akā, mai hoʻonele iāʻoe iho a me nā mea aloha i ke kuleana i nā manaʻo maikaʻiʻole. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole ʻawaʻawa, ʻo ka positivity kahi ala e hoʻokō ai a aʻo mai ka pilikia, ma mua o ka haʻalele ʻana iā lākou a me ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i ka ʻeha a mākou e ʻike ai i nā kūlana paʻakikī.

E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Whitney Goodman kahi mea lapaʻau psychotherapist, ʻohana a me ka male male.