ʻO nā hāmeʻa hou a me nā lole nani, nā kumu aʻo maikaʻi loa a me nā huakaʻi i ke kai, nā manawa i loaʻa ʻole iā mākou iho i ka wā kamaliʻi ... Me he mea lā mākou, nā mākua, e lawe mau i nā hoʻokolohua waena waena, a ʻo nā mea nānā koʻikoʻi a koho - kā mākou mau keiki - ʻaʻole hauʻoli mau i ka kekahi mea. E pili ana i ka mea e hana ai me ia, psychotherapist Anastasia Rubtsova.
Ua lawe mai kekahi hoaaloha i kāna keiki i ke kai. ʻO ke keikikāne he keikikāne nani o 12 mau makahiki, ʻaʻole ʻo ia he ʻōpio, akā kokoke. Hele ʻo ia i kahakai, hoʻowahāwahā i kona mau lehelehe, ʻōlelo ʻo ia ma ke ʻano maʻamau, aia nā limu ma ka ʻaoʻao hema a ʻaʻohe parachutes. Aia nā parachutes ma Dubai i ka hoʻoilo.
"Nastya," i kākau ai kahi hoaaloha, "pehea e hōʻoluʻolu ai iā ia? Pehea inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e ʻau? He aha ka hana? »
"E ho'āʻo," kākau wau, "iʻa kūloko. A me ka waina. ʻO ia kaʻu ʻōlelo aʻo ʻoihana.
ʻO ke kaikamahine, he kaikamahine hoʻohiwahiwa i like me Hermione, ua hoʻopiʻi ʻo ia i kahi hoaaloha ʻē aʻe nona ka lepo a me ka ʻino ka hale. "Aloha," wahi a kekahi hoaaloha me ka uē ʻana, "ʻAe wau, he ʻino, ʻaʻohe manawa e hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ka lua o ka pule, a laila hāʻawi wau i ka hōʻike, a laila holo wau i ka haukapila iā ʻAnakē Lena, a laila hele wau i ka haʻuki - ʻAe, ʻaʻole pono paha wau e hele i ka haʻuki, ua hiki paha iaʻu ke hoʻomaʻemaʻe i kēlā manawa.
I kekahi hoaaloha ʻē aʻe, ʻōlelo ke kaikamahine me ke ʻano ʻinoʻino: "ʻAe, oh-oh-oh, e kūʻai hope anei ʻoe iaʻu i ka xBox i Iulai, a i ʻole he liʻiliʻi hou kāu kālā?" Hilahila ka hoa, no ka mea, aole lawa maoli ke dala. A pono lākou no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole ʻo ia he makua kāne maikaʻi e hāʻawi i kāna keiki i nā mea āpau e pono ai (me ka pumehana, ke kākoʻo a me ke kaʻa kaʻa), akā he hewa hewa i lawa ʻole ke kālā no ka xBox no ke kolu o ka mahina.
No laila, he pahele kēia.
He mea hoihoi ka hāʻule pinepine ʻana o nā mākua kuleana a koʻikoʻi i kēia pahele. ʻO ka poʻe e hoʻāʻo maoli a mālama pono i ka manaʻo o ke keiki. ʻO wai ka manaʻo, palekana lākou i nā hōʻino. Ua pilikia nā mākua, ʻo kā lākou hoʻolimalima "no ke keiki" (nā aʻo ʻana, nā kumu, ka mālama ʻana, nā ʻoliʻoli, nā mea hoʻonaninani), inā ʻaʻole ka mea nui loa, a laila he mea ʻike ʻia i ka waihona kālā.
Akā naʻe, makaʻu lākou i nā puke e pili ana i nā trauma o ka wā kamaliʻi a me ka callousness makua, ke kānalua nei lākou: ʻaʻole lawa kaʻu hana, ʻe, ʻaʻole lawa kaʻu hana? A no ke aha la i lawa ole ai ke keiki? Pono paha ʻoe e hoʻoikaika ikaika?
ʻAʻole i loaʻa i ke keiki nā pae hoʻohālikelike e hiki ai iā ia ke loiloi i kā mākou hana makua he "maikaʻi" a "ʻino"
ʻAʻole. Pono kākou e hoʻoemi.
ʻO mākou a pau (ʻae,ʻaʻole nā mea a pau, akā he nui) kaʻana like i ka manaʻo inā he mau mākua mālama maikaʻiʻoe, e ho'āʻo a hana pono i nā mea a pau, a laila e "makemake ke keiki". E mahalo ʻo ia. E mahalo ʻo ia.
ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, he mea loiloi maikaʻi ke keiki. Loaʻa iā ia - me he mea lā, akā ʻaʻole maopopo - ʻaʻohe kumu kūpono e hiki ai iā ia ke loiloi i kā mākou hana makua he "maikaʻi" a i ʻole "ʻino". He liʻiliʻi loa kona ʻike ola, ʻaʻole ʻo ia ma ko mākou wahi, hoʻopunipuni pinepine nā manaʻo iā ia. ʻOi aku i kahi ʻōpio i hoʻolei ʻia i hope a i waho e nā hormones e like me ka pōpō.
E noʻonoʻo ke keiki - e like me kēlā me kēia kanaka - ua maʻalahi nā mea a pau iā mākou a ʻaʻohe kumu kūʻai, ʻo ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe ʻana a me ka loaʻa kālā. A inā ʻaʻole mākou e hana i kekahi mea, no ka ʻino a me ka paʻakikī naʻaupō ia. Aia a ʻike ʻo ia ʻaʻole.
ʻO kahi keiki - e like me kekahi kanaka - e manaʻo ʻo ia ka "maikaʻi" ke ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o ka "maʻamau". A ina i ka hooilo kai ma Dubai, makana, fashionable gadgets, cleanliness i loko o ka hale a, ma luna o nā mea a pau, he attentive makua hoʻomanawanui 'o ia kona "maʻamau", a laila, ma kekahiʻaoʻao, e hiki ke hauoli nona, seriously. Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, ʻaʻohe ona ala e ʻike ai aia kekahi "maʻamau".
A hiki mai.
ʻAʻole hiki i ke keiki ke mahalo i ke kumu kūʻai o kēia "maʻamau" a pono iā mākou. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e ʻike i ka mea a mākou e hōʻole ai a pehea mākou e hoʻāʻo ai. A ʻaʻole ia he ʻoihana a ke keiki, a ʻoi aku hoʻi i kahi ʻōpio, e hāʻawi iā mākou, ma ke ʻano he mau mākua, i ʻelima kūpono (a, inā makemake ʻoe, ʻelima me ka liʻiliʻi).
A ʻaʻole kēia ʻo ka ʻoihana o ke kaiāulu - ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻo ia hoʻi, e like me ke pēpē, manaʻoʻiʻo mākou e hoʻāʻo hou aku, a ʻoi aku, a ʻoi aku, a ʻoi aku.
ʻO mākou wale nō e hiki ke kau i kēia ʻelima. Hiki iā mākou a ʻoiai, e ʻōlelo wau, pono mākou.
ʻO mākou - ʻaʻole kā mākou mau keiki a ʻaʻole ka poʻe mākaʻikaʻi o waho - pono mākou e ʻimi i kahi e hiki ai ke hoʻololi. Ke hele kā mākou mau keiki mai nā pēpē palupalu e pono ai ke aloha, ka mahanahana, ka palekana a me ka "maikaʻi a pau" i nā ʻōpio makemake i kahi mea ʻokoʻa loa.
Pono lākou i mea e lanakila ai a i mea e hoʻokō ai. A pono nā pilikia, a me nā kapu. I kekahi manawa, noʻonoʻo lākou, pono e haʻi ʻia: "Pele? Bunny, hoʻomaʻemaʻe a holoi i ka papahele. Moloā ʻoe, akā manaʻoʻiʻo mai iaʻu, ʻoi aku ka palaualelo. A ua luhi loa au.
I kekahi manawa, kaumaha loa ko lakou lohe: “Aole makemake i ke kai? ʻAe, e hele mai i kahi mea i ʻole e hōʻino i kaʻu hoʻomaha, no ka mea makemake wau.
A ʻo kēia ʻōlelo makua naʻaupō i hoʻonāukiuki iā mākou i ka wā kamaliʻi "Ke paʻi nei au i ke kālā?" - hiki ke hoʻoponopono hou ʻia i kekahi manawa. ʻAʻole mākou paʻi maoli iā lākou.
A ʻike ʻoe, pono maoli nā keiki e haʻi iā lākou e pili ana i ke kālā. He paʻakikī loa lākou e loaʻa. ʻAʻole kūleʻa ka hapa nui o mākou e like me Elon Musk a i ʻole Oleg Deripaska. No ke aha, ʻo ka lilo ʻana i poʻo o ka ʻoihana kūʻai i kekahi manawa he hana nui a laki. ʻO ka manawa pinepineʻaʻole lawa ke kālā no kekahi mea, a he mea maʻamau kēia.
A inā makemake mākou i ka mahalo, a laila no ke aha e hōʻike ʻole ai i ka mea, ma ke kumu, hiki i kekahi ke mahalo i kekahi kanaka?
ʻO mākou, nā mākua, ʻaʻohe wahi i hūnā i kahi kumu pau ʻole o ka waiwai a me ka ikaika, ke ahonui a me ka hoʻolaʻa iā ʻoe iho. Minamina loa. Akā, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā mea a pau inā koho ke keiki i kēia ma mua o kona piha ʻana i ka 18.
ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi inā ʻike mākou i kā mākou pono. A laila, ʻike ke keiki, inā laki, ʻaʻole wale ka mea a ka makua i kūʻai ʻole ai a ʻaʻole i hana, akā i ka mea i hana ʻole ʻia e ka makua. ʻAʻole ka lepo ma nā papa, akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo no nā makahiki he 10 i hala aku nei i holoi ʻia e kekahi. Aia ka meaʻai i loko o ka pahu hau, a ʻo ke keiki ponoʻī he tennis a he kumu aʻo Pelekane.
ʻO ke akamai ma ʻaneʻi, ʻo ia ka hōʻike ʻana i kēia i ke keiki me ka hoʻouka ʻole ʻana iā ia. ʻAʻole i komo i ke kūlana o ka mea hoʻopiʻi a me ka hoʻolei ʻole ʻana i ka huaʻōlelo "aloha ʻole".
ʻAʻole "aloha ʻole". ʻAʻole ʻike.
A inā makemake mākou i ka mahalo, a laila no ke aha e hōʻike ʻole ai i ka mea, ma ke kumu, hiki i kekahi ke mahalo i kekahi kanaka? ʻAe, no nā mea āpau, ʻoiaʻiʻo no nā mea āpau: no ka ʻaina ʻaina a me nā sneakers i makana, no ka hōʻoluʻolu a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o kā mākou lole i holoi ʻia, no ka mea e hoʻolālā kekahi i kā mākou hoʻomaha a hoʻomanawanui i kā mākou mau hoaaloha i ko lākou hale. A ma hope o nā mea a pau, pehea e mahalo ai, ʻaʻole ʻike ke keiki. Hōʻike. Haʻi mai iʻau. ʻAʻole i hoʻokumu ʻia kēia mākaukau a ʻaʻole i lawe ʻia mai loko mai o ka ea lahilahi.
A he waiwai ʻole ʻo ia. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o ke akamai o ka hoʻohewa ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. A i ʻole ma mua o ke akamai o ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole.
I kekahi lā nona ʻoe e mahalo ai. ʻOiai ʻaʻole pololei kēia. I kēia manawa, e ho'āʻo i ka iʻa a me ka waina.