Pehea e pane ai i ka makemake o ke keiki a haʻi

… ʻauinalā Sābati. ʻO ka hope, loaʻa iaʻu me kaʻu kāne ka manawa e kipa aku ai i ka hōʻikeʻike Great Impressionists. Aia ma ka puka komo he laina no nā ʻaʻahu a me nā tiketi: he nui ka poʻe e makemake e hauʻoli i ka hana a nā mea pena kiʻi i waena o nā kamaʻāina o Nizhny Novgorod. Ke piʻi wale nei mākou ma luna o ka paepae o ke keʻena, ʻike mākou iā mākou iho i loko o kahi honua kupanaha maoli: ʻo ka māmā māmā, nā mele mālie o ke kenekulia XNUMX, ka hula ʻana i nā ballerinas kaumaha ʻole, a puni - nā canvases na Edgar Degas, Claude Monet a me Auguste Renoir, i kuhi ʻia ma nā pale nui. . Noho ʻia nā hale kūʻai āpau a me nā pouf ʻano pear e ka poʻe mākaʻikaʻi i hoʻokomo ʻia i loko o kēia lewa maoli.

ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, auē, ua ʻoi aku ka ikaika ma mua o ka honua o ka hana akamai. ʻElua mau keikikāne ʻehā a ʻelima paha o ko lāua mau makahiki, me ka walaʻau a me ka ʻoliʻoli hauʻoli ʻana, e lele i luna o nā pou. ʻAʻohe o kā lākou mau makuahine ʻōpiopio lole maikaʻi e nānā i nā kiʻi - hopohopo lākou i ka palekana o nā keiki kolohe loa. A ʻo kahi hopena, he mea hiki ʻole ke ʻike i nā manaʻo i loko o kahi radius o iwakālua mau mika mai nā keiki frolicking. Hele mākou i nā makuahine a noi aku iā lākou e hoʻomālielie i nā keiki. Nānā kekahi o nā makuahine me ke kāhāhā: "Pono ʻoe - e hōʻoluʻolu ʻoe iā lākou!" Lohe nā keikikāne i kēia mau ʻōlelo a hoʻonui i ka ikaika i nā lele a me ka helu o nā decibels. Ke hoʻomaka nei e hakahaka nā poufs a puni: neʻe mālie nā mea hoʻolohe i kahi e liʻiliʻi iki ai ka walaʻau. Holo ka iwakālua mau minuke. Frolicking nā keiki, unperturbed nā makuahine. A ʻo mākou, ke ʻike nei i kēlā ʻano lewa, ʻaʻole ʻike ʻia nā hana noʻeau e like me ka mea e pono ai, haʻalele mākou i ke keʻena. ʻO ka huakaʻi lōʻihi-kali ʻia i ka hōʻike ʻaʻole i lawe mai ka leʻaleʻa, ka manawa a me ke kālā i lilo. I ko mākou hōʻino, ʻaʻole mākou hoʻokahi: i nā lumi lole, huhū huhū nā wahine akamai, no ke aha e lawe ai i nā keiki i kēlā mau hanana.

A maoli, no ke aha? ʻO ka makemake o nā makuahine mai ka wā ʻōpio e hoʻokomo i nā keiki i ke aloha i ka nani ʻaʻole e kūʻē i ko lākou hiki i ka makahiki ke ʻike i kēlā mau hiʻohiʻona. ʻĀ, ʻaʻole hoihoi ka poʻe liʻiliʻi i nā impressionist! A ʻo nā hoʻonohonoho ʻana o nā kiʻi pena kaulana honua e ʻike ʻia e nā keiki ma ke ʻano he pāʻani o nā sunbeams, ʻaʻohe mea hou aʻe. A ke luuluu ʻole nā ​​keiki, hoʻomaka lākou e leʻaleʻa iā lākou iho e like me ka hiki iā lākou: lele lākou, ʻakaʻaka, hoʻōho. A, ʻoiai, hoʻopilikia lākou i ka poʻe i hele ʻole mai no nā pāʻani waho.

ʻAʻole, ʻaʻole mākou i hoʻopiʻi aku i nā keiki walaʻau no ka lā i luku ʻia. Hana nā keiki e like me ka ʻae ʻana o nā mākua iā lākou. Ua hōʻino ʻia ke kipa ʻana i ka hōʻike no mākou e ko lākou mau makuahine. ʻO wai, no ke aloha nui paha i kā lākou keiki, a i ʻole no ka pīhoihoi palena ʻole, ʻaʻole makemake e helu pū me kekahi poʻe ʻē aʻe. I ka wā lōʻihi, ʻoiaʻiʻo, e lilo ia kūlana i boomerang: kahi keiki, ka mea a kona makuahine i ʻae ʻole ai e hoʻopilikia me nā manaʻo o haʻi, ʻaʻole ia e ʻae i kāna mau pono a me kāna mau makemake. Akā ʻo kēia kāna mau pilikia. Akā pehea nā mea ʻē aʻe? He aha ka mea e hana ai - komo i kahi hakakā a hōʻino i kou naʻau i ʻoi aku paha a aʻo e kiʻi iā ʻoe iho mai nā hopena o ka nele i ka aʻo.

Aia ka manaʻo o ka psychologists ma ka ʻaoʻao aʻe.

ʻO Svetlana Gamzaeva, hoʻomaʻamaʻa psychologist, mea kākau o ka papahana Spices of the Soul:

"He nīnau maikaʻi: hiki anei ke unuhi mai ka mea e hana nei ma hope ou? A he mea hiki wale nō paha? Pehea e hana ai i kāu huhū, me ka ukiuki? Me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e hoʻowahāwahā ʻia ʻoe, e hōʻino wale i kāu mau palena, a ke hoʻāʻo ʻoe e kamaʻilio e pili ana - hōʻole e hoʻolohe e pili ana i kāu mau pono?

ʻO ka makemake mua, me he mea lā, ʻaʻole e hana. E helu i nā mea āpau a leʻaleʻa. Wahi a kaʻu mau mea i ʻike ai, ʻo ka hana ʻole ʻana kahi moeʻuhane like ʻole o kā mākou. Nui nā mea e hoʻonāukiuki iā mākou i kēia ola, akā hoʻāʻo mākou ʻaʻole e hana e like me nā mōneka Buddhist mālamalama. A ʻo kahi hopena, haʻalele mākou iā mākou iho - ko mākou mau manaʻo, nā pono, nā hoihoi. Pākuʻi hohonu mākou i loko a i ʻole hoʻoneʻe i kā mākou ʻike. A laila haki lākou i waho o kahi, a hoʻomōhala paha, no ka laʻana, i loko o nā ʻōuli like ʻole a me nā maʻi pū kekahi.

ʻLelo ʻoe ʻaʻole hewa ʻoe i nā keiki no ka hōʻino ʻana i ka lā. No ke aha ʻoe e hōʻino ʻole ai? ʻAʻole lākou i hōʻino? Hoʻokaʻawale mākou i ka hoʻopili pololei ʻana i nā keiki inā kokoke lākou i ko lākou mau mākua. Me he mea lā ʻo nā keiki ka waiwai o ko lākou mau mākua. A i ʻole kekahi ʻano mea ola ʻole i hoʻopā ʻia.

Me he mea lā ʻaʻohe o mākou kuleana e hoʻopilikia i ka hānai ʻia ʻana o nā keiki a haʻi. I ke aʻo - he ʻoiaʻiʻo paha ia, ʻaʻole. A inā mākou i hoʻomaka e ʻōlelo: “E nā keiki, mai walaʻau. Aia kahi hale hōʻikeʻike ma aneʻi. He mea mau i ka hale hōʻikeʻike e noho mālie. Hoʻopilikia ʻoe i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ”that would be insincere moralizing. He mea nui e ʻoiaʻiʻo me nā keiki, a laila hiki iā lākou ke hoʻolohe iā ʻoe. A inā ʻoe e haʻi kikoʻī aku i ke keiki e pili ana iā ʻoe iho, i kāu mau pono, me ka piha o kou mau manaʻo hehi: “Kāohi! Ke hoʻonāukiuki nei ʻoe iaʻu! Lele ʻoe a ʻuwē, a hoʻohoka iki iaʻu. Huhū loa wau. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻomaha a ʻike i kēia pena pena kupaianaha. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, ua hele mai wau e hoʻomaha a leʻaleʻa. No laila e ʻoluʻolu e hoʻōki i ka uē ʻana a me ka lele ʻana. “

He mea nui kēlā ʻano ʻoiaʻiʻo no nā keiki. He mea nui na lākou e ʻike i ka hiki i nā poʻe a puni lākou ke pale aku i kā lākou mau pono. A mālama ka poʻe i ko lākou ʻano kamaliʻi.

Maliʻa paha, ma ka hoʻomaka ʻana e lele me ka ikaika loa, hoʻonāukiuki nā keiki iā ʻoe i kēia pane. Inā hopohopo ko lākou mau mākua e huki iā lākou i luna, a laila e hana i kahi mea makua i waho e hana. Makemake nā keiki e huki ʻia - inā ma ka ʻoihana. ʻO ka mea maikaʻi ʻole loa no lākou ka palaka. Ke hoʻopili lākou, no ka laʻana, i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a hana ʻole nā ​​mea ʻē aʻe. A laila hoʻomaka lākou e komo i ka ikaika a me ka ikaika. Lohe wale ʻia.

A, ʻo ka mea hope loa, hiki iā ʻoe ke pale i kāu kuleana me ka hoʻoponopono. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, ua uku ʻoe i ke kālā e hiki ai ke nānā i ka hōʻike ma ka maluhia. A ʻo nā mea hoʻonohonoho o ka hōʻike, ma ke kūʻai aku ʻana i ka lawelawe, ke kūʻai aku nei nō hoʻi i nā kūlana e kū ai ia. ʻO ia, ka lewa kūpono. Na lākou ke kuleana e hōʻoia i ka hoʻohuli ʻana ʻaʻole e lilo i hale haʻuki.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole mākou e hele i ka hōʻike i mea e komo ai i nā hakakā a pale aku i kā mākou kuleana. Akā ma aneʻi hiki ʻole i kekahi ke hūnā mai ke ola. A ʻo kaʻae ʻana i kou mau manaʻo i mea e pale aku ai i kāu mau hoihoi ʻoi aku ke akahele me ʻoe iho ma mua o ka hūnā ʻana i kāu mau ʻike ponoʻī a me ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hana ʻole iā ʻoe iho a me ka poʻe e puni ana iā ʻoe. ʻO ia ka ʻae ʻana iā ʻoe iho e ola. “

ʻO Tatiana Yurievna Sokolova, psychologist perinatal, ka mea hoʻokipa o ke Kula o nā makuahine hāpai (Persona Clinic):

"E kōkua ia iā ʻoe e kūpale i ke koʻikoʻi ma ka ʻike ʻana ʻo ʻoe wale nō ke kuleana o kou naʻau. Minamina, nui nā hanana i loko o ko mākou ola ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke loli. Ma hope o nā mea āpau, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo hou i nā keiki hānai ʻia, e like me ka hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke koi aku i ko lākou mau makuahine e lilo i naʻauao, e hoʻolohe i nā pono o haʻi.

ʻElua ala. A i ʻole hāhai ʻoe i ke ala o ka hopena (huhū ʻoe, huhū, hoʻāʻo e noʻonoʻo me nā makuahine frivolous, hoʻopiʻi i nā mea hoʻonohonoho o ka hōʻike, a laila ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaha no ka manawa lōʻihi, e kūkākūkā i kēia kūlana me kāu mau hoaaloha, e pāʻani i loko. kou poʻo no ka manawa lōʻihi, e like me ka mōneka mai kahi nane e pili ana i kahi kaikamahine i hāpai ʻia i kēlā kapa o ka muliwai kāna hoaaloha (e ʻike ma lalo). Akā ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō. A ʻo kahi hopena, piʻi paha kou kiʻekiʻe o ke koko, ʻeha kou poʻo, a ʻo ka hopena, hōʻino i ke koena o kou lā.

Aia kekahi ala ʻelua. ʻLelo ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, “ʻAe, ʻoluʻolu ʻole kēia kūlana. ʻAnoʻino ka manaʻo mai ka hōʻike. ʻAe, huhū wau, huhū i kēia manawa. A ʻo ka hopena, ka huaʻōlelo nui: "Pāpā wau i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole e luku iā lākou iho." ʻElua mea nui āu e hana ai i kēia ala. ʻO ka mea, kū ʻoe i nā hopena maikaʻi ʻole o ka naʻau. Eia hou, hoʻomaka ʻoe e hoʻokele i kēia mau manaʻo. ʻO ʻoe lākou, ʻaʻole ʻo ʻoe nō! Hoʻomaka ʻoe e noʻonoʻo me ka naʻauao, kūkulu, a me ka noʻonoʻo pono. A emi mālie ka naʻau. ʻAʻole maʻalahi ia, akā ʻo ia ke ala i ka kūleʻa.

E manaʻoʻiʻo iaʻu, ʻaʻole na kēia mau keiki a me ko lākou mau makuahine i hōʻino i ka manaʻo o ka hōʻike, akā ua ʻae ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i kekahi e hōʻino i kou ʻano. Ke hoʻomaopopo nei i kēia, kuleana mākou i ka mea e hiki mai iā mākou. A ʻo kēia nā ʻanuʻu nui mua i ka mālama ʻana i kou ola, kou mau manaʻo, kou olakino. “

ʻO ka nane o nā mōneka

Ke hoʻi nei nā mōneka kahiko a me nā mōneka ʻōpio i ko lākou mōneka. Ua hele ʻia ko lākou ala e kahi muliwai, a ma muli o ka ua, hālana nui ʻia. Aia kekahi wahine ma ka panakō e pono e hele i ka panakō ʻē aʻe, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke hana me ke kōkua ʻole o waho. Ua pāpā ikaika ʻole ka hoʻohiki i nā mōneka. ʻIke aku nei ka mōneka ʻōpio i ka wahine, huli kūʻē akula ʻo ia, a hele akula ua mōneka makua lā iā ia, lālau akula iā ia a lawe akula i kēlā kapa o ka muliwai. Noho hāmau nā mōneka no ke koena o ka huakaʻi, akā i ka mōneka ponoʻī ʻaʻole hiki i ka mōneka ʻōpio ke kūʻē.

- Pehea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hoʻopā i kahi wahine!? Ua hoʻohiki ʻoe!

Pane maila ka ʻelemakule.

“Ua hāpai au iā ia a waiho ma ke kapa o ka muliwai, a ke hāpai nei nō ʻoe.