Ma ke ʻano he poʻe mākua a kūʻokoʻa, ʻike mau mākou i ka nalowale o nā pilina. No ke aha mākou e pale ʻole ai i ka ʻeha a pehea mākou e hoʻopau ai? Pane ka mea lapaʻau Gestalt.
Psychologies: No ke aha he mea paʻakikī loa ka haʻalele?
ʻO Victoria Dubinskaya: Nui nā kumu. ʻO ka mea mua, ma ka pae kumu, olaola, pono mākou i kahi kokoke, me ka ʻole o kahi pilina ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou. I ka waena o ke kenekulia iwakālua, ua hoʻāʻo ka neurophysiologist ʻo Donald Hebb me nā mea manawaleʻa, e hoʻāʻo ana e noʻonoʻo i ka lōʻihi e hiki ai iā lākou ke noho kaʻawale. ʻAʻohe kanaka i hana no hoʻokahi pule. A ma hope iho, ua hoʻopilikia ʻia nā kaʻina noʻonoʻo o nā mea komo, hoʻomaka nā hallucinations. Hiki iā mākou ke hana me ka ʻole o nā mea he nui, akā ʻaʻole me ka ʻole o kekahi.
Akā, no ke aha ʻaʻole mākou e noho maluhia me ka ʻole o nā mea a pau?
ʻo kahi laʻana: A ʻo kēia ke kumu ʻelua: he nui nā pono e hiki ai iā mākou ke hoʻokō wale i ka pilina me kekahi. Makemake mākou e manaʻo i ka waiwai, aloha, pono. ʻO ke kolu, pono mākou i nā mea ʻē aʻe e hoʻoponopono i nā mea i nalowale i ka wā kamaliʻi.
Inā loaʻa i kahi keiki nā mākua mamao a anuanu paha nāna i hānai iā ia akā ʻaʻole i hāʻawi iā ia i ka pumehana uhane, i ka wā makua e ʻimi ʻo ia i mea nāna e hoʻopiha i kēia lua manaʻo. Nui paha nā hemahema o ia ano. A ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻike mākou a pau i kekahi ʻano hemahema. ʻO ka hope, hoihoi wale: makemake mākou i kekahi i kekahi ma ke ʻano he kanaka. No ka mea ʻokoʻa mākou a pau, ʻokoʻa kēlā me kēia a ʻaʻole like me kekahi.
E ʻeha paha ke haʻihaʻi?
ʻo kahi laʻana: ʻAʻole pono. ʻO kaʻeha ka hopena i kaʻeha, hōʻino, hōʻino, a mākou eʻike pinepine ai, akā,ʻaʻole i nā manawa a pau. ʻO ka mea hiki ke haʻihaʻi i kahi kāne, no laila e ʻōlelo, nani: me ka ʻole o ka uē ʻana, nā hōʻino, nā hoʻopiʻi like ʻole. No ka mea ʻaʻole pili hou lākou.
ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana ma ka ʻaelike like - a laila ʻaʻohe ʻeha, akā aia ke kaumaha. A pili mau ka ʻeha me kahi ʻeha. No laila ka manaʻo ua hemo kekahi mea mai o mākou. He aha kēia ʻeha? He hōʻailona ʻo ia o ke koʻikoʻi o kekahi no mākou. Nalo kekahi mai ko mākou ola, ʻaʻohe mea e loli, me he mea lā ʻaʻole i ola. A ʻo nā lau ʻē aʻe, a hoʻomaopopo mākou i ka pili ʻana o nā mea āpau iā ia! ʻIke mākou i nā pilina ma ke ʻano he ala no ka neʻe ʻana o ke ola.
I koʻu noʻonoʻo ʻana i kaʻu mea aloha, hoʻomaka koke kekahi mea e ala aʻe i loko. Ke huki mai nei kekahi mana ike ole ia ia. A ʻaʻole i laila, ʻike ʻia ua ʻoki ʻia ke kahawai, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke ola piha i kaʻu makemake. Piʻi ka ikehu, akā ʻaʻole hele i kahi. A ʻike wau iaʻu iho i ka huhū - ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hana i kaʻu makemake! ʻAʻohe aʻu kanaka. A eha.
ʻO wai ka mea paʻakikī loa e haʻalele?
ʻo kahi laʻana: ʻO ka poʻe i loko o kahi pilina pili i ka naʻau. Pono lākou i ka mea a lākou i koho ai e like me ka oxygen, me ka ʻole e hoʻomaka lākou e ʻeha. Ua loaʻa iaʻu kahi hihia ma ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka haʻalele ʻana o kahi kāne i kahi wahine, a ua maʻi ʻo ia no nā lā ʻekolu. ʻAʻole au i lohe a ʻike paha i kekahi mea, ʻoiai he pēpē kāna!
A pepehi ʻia ʻo ia, no ka mea, ma kona ʻike, me ka haʻalele ʻana o kēia kanaka, ua pau ke ola. No ka mea i hilinaʻi i ka naʻau, pili ke ola holoʻokoʻa i hoʻokahi kumuhana, a lilo ia i mea hiki ʻole ke hoʻololi. A i ka wā e kaʻawale ai, manaʻo ka mea hoʻohui ua haehae ʻia ʻo ia, ua wehe ʻia ke kākoʻo, ua hoʻopau ʻia ʻo ia. ʻAʻole hiki ke hoʻomanawanui. Ma Austria, e hele ana lakou e hookomo i ka inoa o ka maʻi hou - «unbearable aloha eha.»
Pehea ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka manaʻo a me ka ʻeha ʻeha - "Ua hōʻole ʻia au"?
ʻo kahi laʻana: He mau loulou kēia ma ke kaulahao hoʻokahi. ʻO ka manaʻo ponoʻī ʻeha mai ka kānalua ponoʻī. A ʻo kēia, e like me ke ʻano o ka addiction, ʻo ia ka hopena o ka hemahema o ka nānā ʻana i ka wā kamaliʻi. Ma Rusia, aneane haʻahaʻa nā kānaka a pau, e like me ka mea i hana ʻia ma ka mōʻaukala. ʻO ko mākou mau kupuna kāne he mau pōhaku, a he hana nui ko mākou mau mākua - hana no ka hana, huki i nā mea āpau iā ʻoe iho. Hoʻokahi nīnau no ke keiki: "He aha ka papa i loaʻa iā ʻoe ma ke kula?" ʻAʻole e hoʻomaikaʻi, e hauʻoli, akā e koi i kekahi mea i nā manawa a pau. A no laila, ʻo ko mākou hilinaʻi i loko, ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ko mākou ʻano nui, he underdeveloped, a no laila ua palupalu.
ʻIke ʻia ʻo ka maopopo ʻole ko mākou ʻano lāhui?
ʻo kahi laʻana: Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo pēlā. ʻO kekahi hiʻohiʻona ʻāina ʻo ia ka makaʻu i ka nāwaliwali. He aha ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia iā mākou i ka wā kamaliʻi i ka wā ʻino? "E noho mālie a hoʻomau!" No laila, hūnā mākou i ka ʻeha, hauʻoli, hana i ke ʻano he maikaʻi nā mea a pau, a hoʻāʻo e hōʻoia i nā mea ʻē aʻe. A hiki mai ka ʻeha i ka pō, ʻaʻole ʻoe e hiamoe. Hōʻole ʻia ʻo ia, ʻaʻole ola. He ino keia. No ka mea, pono e kaʻana like ka ʻeha me kekahi, e kanikau. He ʻōlelo ko ka psychologist ʻo Alfried Lenglet: “Holo ka waimaka i nā ʻeha o ka ʻuhane. A he oiaio.
He aha ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka haʻihaʻi a me ka nalowale?
ʻo kahi laʻana: ʻAʻole hoʻokahi kaʻina hana ka haʻihaʻi ʻana, e pili ana i ʻelua mau kānaka. A hiki iā mākou ke hana i kekahi mea: pane, ʻōlelo, pane. A ke waiho nei ka pohō iā mākou ma mua o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ia ka mea e kū nei ke ola iaʻu a pono wau e hana i loko oʻu iho. A ʻo ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana he ʻoiaʻiʻo i hana mua ʻia.
Pehea ʻoe e hoʻomāmā ai i ka ʻeha o ka nalo?
ʻo kahi laʻana: ʻO kēia ke ʻano o nā poho i hoʻoponopono ʻia. E ʻōlelo mākou e hakakā nei ʻoe me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ka ʻelemakule. E noʻonoʻo kākou no hea mai ia. ʻO ka pinepine, paʻa mākou i ka ʻōpio, ke ʻike ʻole mākou i kekahi mea i ke ola a me he mea lā makemake mākou e hoʻi i ka manawa a loaʻa ka manawa e hana ai. Inā ʻike mākou i kēia kumu i hoʻopau ʻole ai mākou e like me ia, e hana ʻoe, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi i ka nalowale o ka ʻōpio i ke kūlana o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana a hoʻokuʻu. A pono mau ke kākoʻo. Hana ke keaka i ka wā ʻaʻole lākou. Aloha, haʻihaʻi, nānā i hope - akā ʻaʻohe mea e hilinaʻi ai. A laila, lilo ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i hana paʻakikī. A inā he mau hoaaloha pili, kahi ʻoihana punahele, ka maikaʻi kālā, kākoʻo kēia iā mākou.