He mea mau no ka honi ʻana o kekahi mau mākua i kā lākou keiki ma ka waha. Ke ʻike ʻole nei i kekahi mea moekolohe i kēia hana, manaʻo lākou ia he hōʻailona o ke aloha i kāna keiki liʻiliʻi. Eia nō naʻe i waena o nā loea mālama keiki, ʻaʻole ʻae like nā poʻe āpau me kēia ʻano, a he mea ʻole paha ia, akā he mea ia e huikau ai ka hana a me nā kuleana o kēlā me kēia.

ʻO ka honi ʻana i kahi keiki ʻē aʻe ma mua o kāna iho ma ka waha he kūpono ʻole a mahalo ʻole ma ka ʻaoʻao o ke keiki. E haʻi ʻia paha. Akā ʻo ka honi ʻana i kāu keiki ponoʻī ma ka waha kekahi ʻano e hōʻalo ʻia e like me ka loea.

Me ka hopohopo ʻole o nā mākua a me ka hōʻeha hewa ʻana iā lākou, koi wale nā ​​psychologists e hoʻokaʻawale i waena o nā kaha o ke aloha filial a nā mākua me kā lākou mau keiki, e like me ka ʻapo ʻana, ke pāʻani ʻana me ke keiki ma ko lākou mau kuli, ke kuʻi ʻana i ko lākou lauoho ... me nā hana aloha a ka makua e hoʻohana ai. me kā lākou kāne, e like me ka honi ʻana i ka waha.

Wahi a Françoise Dolto, he psychiatrist keiki kaulana: "ʻAʻole honi kahi makuahine i ka waha o kāna keiki, a ʻaʻohe makua kāne. »A inā pāʻani ke keiki me kēia manaʻo, pono e honi ʻia ma ka papalina a ʻōlelo iā ia: akā ʻaʻole! Makemake nui au iā ʻoe; Aloha au iā ia. No ka mea ʻo kaʻu kāne ia a no kāna wahine kaʻu. “

ʻO ka honi ma ka waha he hōʻailona. He hōʻailona o ke aloha. Hāʻawi ke keiki aliʻi i ka hau keʻokeʻo iā ia i ka honi ma ka waha a ʻaʻole i ka honi ma ka papalina. ʻO kēia ka nuance, a he mea nui ia.

Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, ʻaʻole ia e kōkua i ke keiki e hoʻomaopopo ʻaʻole pono nā mākua e ʻae iā lākou iho i kekahi mau ʻano hana me ia, ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, hoʻopiʻi i ka leka e pili ana i nā ʻano aloha like ʻole e noho nei.

ʻOiai ʻaʻole e hana ka makua me ka pahuhopu e hoʻonāukiuki i kekahi mea hoʻonāukiuki, akā hoʻomau ka waha i kahi ʻāpana erogenous.

No nā loea i ka hoʻomohala psycho-moe kolohe o nā keiki, ʻo ka waha ka mea mua, me ka ʻili, kahi e ʻike ai ka pēpē i ka leʻaleʻa nona iho.

Kū i kēia manaʻo o nā loea hoʻomohala keiki, nui nā mākua, ka hapanui o nā makuahine, ke kāhea nei no ka mahalo i kā lākou hana. Hōʻike lākou i kēia ʻano lawe i ka palupalu a he hōʻailona ia o ke aloha kūlohelohe e hele mai ana mai kā lākou moʻomeheu.

He paio maikaʻi maoli paha kēia? Hōʻike nā mea āpau ʻaʻole kūpono kēia mau hōʻoia a ʻaʻole kū ka moʻomeheu o ka honi ʻana i ka waha i kekahi kuʻuna.

Ma ka honua holoʻokoʻa, ʻike koke nā keiki e honi nā ipo i ka waha. ʻOiai ʻike lākou he ipo nā pēpē e hana ai, manaʻo kekahi kekahi ʻo kēia kāu hana pēpē. Noho aliʻi ka huikau.

I ka nīnau "I ka makahiki hea e haʻalele ai mākou i ka honi ʻana i nā keiki ma ka waha?" ", Akahele ka poʻe loea ʻaʻole e pane a kikoʻī ʻaʻole pono ka honi ma ka waha no ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā keiki a hiki ke hōʻike ʻia ke aloha makua i kekahi mau ʻano ʻē aʻe, e like me ka hōʻike ʻana o kahi aloha i kā lāua aloha. -e pili ana i ka moekolohe.

No laila e ʻae nā mākua i kā lākou poʻe keiki e hoʻomaopopo he ʻokoʻa ke ʻano o ke aloha. Hoʻomākaukau lākou iā ia no nā pilina pilikino pilikino.

He mea nui nō hoʻi e mahalo i ke keiki nāna i ʻōlelo ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia e honi i ka waha a i ʻole e nānā i kāna ʻano waha ʻole inā hilahila ʻo ia e ʻōlelo ia mea: ʻimi nā lehelehe, huli ʻo ia i kona poʻo, ʻo ia ʻeha ka ʻōpū a ʻeha paha ka umauma, ʻūlū, ʻoniʻoni nā piʻoloke.

I mea e pale aku ai i ka hōʻeha kolohe, kuleana nā mākua i ka wehewehe ʻana i nā keiki i ke aloha wale ʻana o nā mākua a me nā mākua e "hana aloha" me kahi keiki ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia. ʻOiai ʻike ka hapanui o ka poʻe i hōʻino ʻia i kā lākou hana hoʻomāinoino, hiki i ka paʻakikī ke haʻi ke keiki i ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka honi e ʻae ʻia a me ka ʻae ʻole.

ʻO ka hoʻokuʻu ʻia o ka huaʻōlelo o ka poʻe i hōʻino ʻia e like me nā keiki e hōʻike ana i ka nui o kēia mau hana e hana ʻia e ke keiki, ʻaʻohe ona ʻano e hoʻokaʻawale ai i ka mea mahalo a i nā mea e pili ana i ke olakino o ke kanaka makua. Kākaʻikahi nō hoʻi ke keiki e hāʻawi iā ia iho i ka honi ma ka waha i ka makua. Ua hōʻike ʻia ʻo ia, a i aʻo ʻia i kēia ala.

No laila ua koi ka poʻe loea i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i ka poʻe mākua e nīnau iā lākou iho i ka nīnau "no ke aha e hauʻoli ai wau e honi i kaʻu keiki ma ka waha?" No hea mai kēia pono ”. Me ka hana ʻole ʻana i ka psychotherapy, hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā maʻalahi i nā ʻano i hoʻoili ʻia e kou ʻohana iho a hele pū me ʻoe i kahi kau, e ka psychologist a i ʻole ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a nā mākua i mea e maopopo ai nā mea.

ʻAʻole ʻo ia wale me kāna mau nīnau a hiki i kāna lawehala ke kōkua pū e hōʻike i ke keiki ʻaʻohe o nā mākua nā pane āpau a i kekahi manawa pono nō ʻo ia e nīnau i kekahi o kāna ʻano, i maopopo ai a lilo i makua maikaʻi.