Lyudmila Petranovskaya, ʻōlelo aʻo makua

Ua ʻike ʻia ka psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya e nā mākua āpau. Kuhi ʻia kāna mau puke i nā puke papa no nā mākua a me nā mākua holomua, ua hoʻonohonoho koke ʻia kāna mau haʻiʻōlelo i nā ʻōlelo puanaʻī. Ua hōʻiliʻili mākou he 12 mau ʻōlelo kuʻi.

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“E nānā i kāu keiki. ʻOiai he grimy, kolohe a haumāna ʻilihune hoʻi ʻo ia, ʻoiai e hoʻolei wale i kahi leo, nalowale i kahi kelepona paʻalima, maʻalahi ʻole iā ʻoe, ʻoiai inā ua puka ʻo ia i waho e hoʻoluliluli iā ʻoe. ʻO nā mea like, ʻaʻole ia he ʻenemi, ʻaʻole saboteur a i ʻole he pōkā. Keiki me ke keiki. I nā wahi, inā ʻoe e ʻānai iā ia, hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa kahi e honi ai. “

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"ʻO ka pōhaku nui loa paha ia, kahi pōhaku mossy mana wale e kau ana ma ke ala i ka makua me ka ʻole o ka ʻino, ʻo ia ka manaʻo hewa. Hōʻoia kekahi mau makuahine ua lawehala lākou i nā manawa āpau. ʻAʻole hele nā ​​mea āpau i kou makemake, ʻaʻole me ke ala e pono ai, ʻaʻole lawa ka ikaika, ka manawa a me ke ahonui. Hoʻopiʻi ka hapa nui i ka poʻe a puni lākou e hoʻohalahala iā lākou: nā ʻohana, nā hoalauna, nā makuahine ʻē aʻe. Hoʻomaopopo ka poʻe āpau me nā keiki pono ia i kekahi ʻano ʻokoʻa: ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi, akā ʻaʻole naʻe ke ala ʻo ia. “

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"ʻAʻole mākou i ʻike pehea kahi mea maikaʻi ʻole i hana ʻia. ʻO ka mea i koho mua ʻia e ka huaʻōlelo "ideal" i kēia manawa ua manaʻo ʻia he maʻamau a kau ʻia ma ke ʻano he kūlana. ʻAʻole hiki ke kūpono i kēia "norm" hou i ke kumumanaʻo, akā inā maopopo i nā poʻe āpau e pili ana i ka manaʻo maikaʻi i hiki ʻole ke kiʻi ʻia, a laila lawe wale ʻia ka mea maʻamau a waiho i lalo. ”

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“Mai hakakā kākou no ke poʻo o ka makuahine maikaʻi. E ʻae koke, ma kahakai, e ʻae i ko mākou hemahema. ʻAʻole mākou he mea hoʻopau. ʻAʻohe o mākou kumuwaiwai palena ʻole. Hiki iā mākou ke hewa, ʻeha, luhi a makemake ʻole. ʻAʻole mākou e hele i ka manawa no nā mea āpau, ʻoiai inā he tausani mea hoʻonohonoho. ʻAʻole mākou e hana maikaʻi i nā mea āpau, a ʻaʻole mākou e hana maikaʻi pū kekahi. E manaʻo mehameha kā mākou poʻe keiki i kekahi manawa, a i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole e pau kā mākou hana i ka manawa kūpono. “

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"E ʻae iā ʻoe iho e hoʻoponopono i kahi pilikia me ke kōkua o ka ikaika o ke kino, nīnau ʻoe i kēia hiʻohiʻona i ke keiki, a laila e ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī iā ʻoe e wehewehe iā ia i ke kumu e hiki ʻole ai iā ʻoe ke kuʻi i ka nāwaliwali a hakakā maʻamau inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hōʻoluʻolu i kekahi mea. . ”

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"ʻO ka hoʻoweliweli a ka makua e" haʻalele "," hāʻawi "a i ʻole kahi boycott, hōʻike maopopo ʻole ʻia ka makemake ʻole e" nānā ma ʻō ", wikiwiki loa a hoʻokomo pono i ke keiki i loko o ke ahi maoli. Hōʻike nā kamaliʻi he makemake lākou e hahau ʻia. Ke paʻi ka makua iā ʻoe, pili mau ʻo ia iā ʻoe. Aia ʻoe nona, ʻike ʻo ia iā ʻoe. ʻEha, akā ʻaʻole make. Ke kuhi ka makua ʻaʻohe ou, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, ua like ia me ka ʻōlelo make. “

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"ʻO ka maʻa o ka hoʻokuʻu ʻia ʻana i loko o ke keiki - inā ʻoe e haki pinepine - he ʻano maikaʻi ʻole wale ia, kahi ʻano hoʻomake. A pono ʻoe e hoʻomanawanui pono me ia ma ke ʻano like me kekahi ʻano maikaʻi ʻē aʻe: ʻaʻole "hakakā me", akā "aʻo ʻokoʻa," e hoʻāʻo a hoʻowalewale i nā hiʻohiʻona ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole "mai kēia manawa aku, ʻaʻole hou" - ʻike ka poʻe āpau i ke ʻano o ia mau hoʻohiki, akā "ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o kēia lā ma mua o nehinei" a i ʻole "e hana me ka ʻole o ia no hoʻokahi lā wale nō."

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"No kekahi kumu, manaʻo ka nui o nā mākua inā ʻaʻole hāʻawi koke ke keiki i nā mea āpau āna e hana nei a holo ʻole e hoʻokō i kā lākou mau ʻōlelo aʻo, he hōʻailona kēia o ka hōʻihi ʻole. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka hōʻino ʻole ka manaʻo ʻana i kahi kanaka me ka noi ʻole, akā me ke kauoha, me ka hoihoi ʻole i kāna mau hoʻolālā a me nā makemake (ʻo nā hoʻokoe wale nō nā hanana pilikia e pili ana i ka palekana). “

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“ʻO ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻololi i ka nohona o ke keiki ma o ka makahiki a i ʻole ka manawa, ua like ia me ka hakakā ʻana o ka hau i ka hoʻoilo. Hiki iā ʻoe, holoi i ka hau mai kāu moena pua punahele i nā manawa āpau. ʻO kēlā me kēia lā me ka ʻike ʻole i ka maha. Akā ʻaʻole maʻalahi ʻoi ke kali a hiki i ka hoʻoheheʻe ʻana o nā mea āpau iā ia iho i nā lā ʻekolu i ʻApelila? “

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"ʻO ka hapa nui o mākou, keu hoʻi nā wahine, ua hānai ʻia e manaʻoʻiʻo i ka mālama ʻana iā mākou iho ka manaʻo nui. Inā he ʻohana a keiki kāu, ʻaʻohe "nāu" e noho hou ... ʻAʻohe kālā, ʻaʻohe hoʻomohala, ʻaʻohe aʻo - ʻaʻohe mea e hiki ke pani iā ​​ʻoe no kāu keiki. Inā ʻoluʻolu ʻoe, e hauʻoli ʻole ʻo ia a ʻaʻole e ulu maʻamau. I kēlā kūlana, ke hoʻopukapuka nei i ka manawa a me ka ikehu iā ia, ke hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻomaikaʻi i kāna ʻano he mea ʻole. Hoʻomaopopo i kēia manawa ʻo ʻoe ka loulou nāwaliwali a waiwai hoʻi. ʻO nā mea āpau āu e hoʻopukapuka ai iā ʻoe iho - ka manawa, ke kālā, ka ikaika - e hoʻohana ʻia i kāu mau keiki. “

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"He nui nā hana a ke keiki ma mua o ka lawe ʻana mai i nā mākua ma ke kumu. Kū ʻo ia i nā hana nui, pono ʻo ia e ulu, hoʻomohala, hoʻomaopopo i ke ola, hoʻoikaika iā ia iho ma ia mea. “

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"Mai koi aku i nā mea āpau mai iā ʻoe iho a mai ke keiki i ka manawa hoʻokahi. ʻAʻole pau ke ola i kēia lā. Inā kēia manawa ʻaʻole ʻike ke keiki, ʻaʻole makemake, ʻaʻole hiki, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo iki e lilo pēlā. Ulu a hoʻololi nā keiki, i kekahi manawa ma mua o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻole ʻia. ʻO ka mea nui i ka manawa e mākaukau ai ke keiki e loli no ka mea ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, ʻaʻole i luku hope ʻole ʻia ka pilina ma waena ou. “

He aha ka makemake o ke keiki?

Makemake ke keiki ʻaʻole wale nā ​​mea momona, nā mea pāʻani, kahi kamepiula palena ʻole a me nā wā hoʻomaha 365 lā o ka makahiki. ʻO ia, e like me kekahi kanaka maʻamau, makemake:

• e manaʻo maikaʻi (ʻaʻole e ʻike i ka ʻeha, mai makaʻu, mai hana i kahi mea ʻoluʻolu ʻole);

• aloha ʻia, ʻae ʻia, makemake ʻia (e kou mau mākua, nā hoa, nā kumu), me ka hōʻoia ʻana ʻaʻole ʻoe e haʻalele ʻia;

• kūleʻa (i nā pilina me nā mākua, i ka launa aloha, i ka pāʻani, i ke kula, i nā haʻuki);

E lohe ʻia, hoʻomaopopo, kamaʻilio, hana hoaaloha, hoʻolohe;

E pono ai, e haha ​​ai, e ʻike ai i kou wahi ma ka ʻohana;

• ʻike i nā lula o ka pāʻani a me nā palena o ka mea i ʻae ʻia;

• ulu, hoʻomohala, ʻike i nā hiki.