No ke aha e komo ai nā kāne male kāne i nā pilina aloha me nā wahine a mākaukau hoʻi e mare iā lākou? A pehea e hoʻomaopopo ai ua makemake kāu hoa pili i ka hui o nā kāne ʻē aʻe ma mua o kāu? Ua kamaʻilio ka mea kākau moʻolelo ʻo Nicole Carrington-Sima e pili ana i kāna hana me kahi kāne kāne.
Ua kipa ko'u kanaka u'i i ka hale ha'uki i kēlā me kēia lā a ho'onohonoho i kahi papa'oko'a i loko o kā mākou lumi ka'a like no kāna mau mea ho'oma'ema'e pono'ī. Me ia, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻolimalima i nā hola kūʻai, e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke ʻano a me ka loiloi pū ʻana i kāu punahele Sex and the City series. A ma hope o kēlā, hele i ka moekolohe ʻaʻole ma ka pale.
Ua kānalua koʻu mau hoa i koʻu hoa hou. A hāwanawana hauʻoli nā kāne kamaʻāina i kona pepeiao: "no mākou ʻo ia." Manaʻo lākou a pau i nā stereotypes, a me ka lili, manaʻo wau. Ua ʻike au i kahi metrosexual hou - he kanaka ʻano hou, kahi i hui pū ʻia nā ʻano kāne a me nā wahine a me nā maʻamau. I kēia mau lā, ua pōwehiwehi nā laina ma waena o nā kāne, ʻaʻohe hewa i kēlā.
Ke komo nei kekahi mau kāne male kāne i ka male kuʻuna no ka mea ua moeʻuhane lākou i ka ʻohana a me nā keiki
Akā ma kahi o ka hohonu o koʻu ʻuhane ua loaʻa iaʻu kahi ilo. ʻO ka mea wale nō i hōʻoluʻolu iaʻu ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ka moe kolohe: ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole aloha nā kāne i nā wahine, ʻeā? Akā i kekahi manawa, i ka manawa i hāʻawi mai ai koʻu aliʻi iaʻu i ka hoʻoheheʻe ʻana o kona kino ponoʻī i makana, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kāohi iaʻu iho a waiho pololei i ka nīnau.
I koʻu weliweli, ua hana koke ke keikikāne hilahila i kahi i hoʻolālā ʻole ʻia (a i ʻole i hoʻolālā lōʻihi) e puka mai ana. I ka hopena, ʻakaʻaka mākou a hoʻoholo e hoʻokaʻawale i mau hoaaloha. Akā ʻo nā nīnau like ʻole i wili a puni koʻu poʻo no kekahi manawa. Pehea nā pō poina ʻole pū? Pehea e pili ana i kā mākou pili pili pili?..
Wahi a Australian sexologist Michelle Mars, he mea maʻamau ka pilina ma waena o ka wahine heterosexual a me ke kāne homosexual a bisexual. "ʻO 100% maopopo iaʻu aia i waena o kāu mau hoaaloha aia nā kāne kāne a me nā bisexuals ... ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike e pili ana i ia. ʻO ka poʻe e leʻaleʻa i ka moe kolohe a loaʻa i nā ola moe kolohe, ʻoi aku ka wehe ʻana i ka hoʻokolohua, "wahi a Michelle Mars. Ke pohihihi nei nā palena o nā ʻano o ka ʻike moe kolohe, ke ʻike nei ka poʻe i ka nui o nā pilina pili.
I ka sexology, aia kahi hua'ōlelo kūikawā "pansexuality", e pili ana i kahi hoʻokipa aloha a i ʻole erotic i nā kānaka, me ka ʻole o kā lākou kāne.
ʻO 63% o nā kāne male kāne i mare i ka wahine ʻaʻole i ʻae i kā lākou makemake maoli
"I kekahi manawa hui nā kāne kāne i nā wahine no ka mea ʻaʻole maopopo lākou i ke ʻano o kā lākou moekolohe a loaʻa i ka homophobia kūloko. Ke komo nei kekahi i loko o ka male kuʻuna no ka mea ua moe lākou i kahi ʻohana a me nā keiki a koi ʻia lākou e ola pālua ma muli o ka ostracism i ʻike mau ʻia i loko o ke kaiāulu, "wahi a ka sexologist.
No nā wahine, ʻo ia ʻano pilina e pili ana i ka wahaheʻe e piha ana i ke kaumaha koʻikoʻi, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole hiki mai ka epiphany i nā mahina mua o ka pilina, akā ma hope o nā makahiki he nui o ke ola ʻohana.
Ka mea kākau o "Fatal Suitors: Gay and Bisexual Husbands in Traditional Marriage"1 Ua hōʻuluʻulu ʻo Bonnie Kaye, kākāʻōlelo ʻohana ʻAmelika i kahi papa inoa o nā hōʻailona e kōkua i ka ʻike ʻana i kahi hoa kāne kāne ma mua o ka male ʻana. Aia ma waena o lākou ka hōʻole ʻana i ka moe kolohe maʻamau, ke nānā ʻana i ka porn gay, ka hoʻohana ʻana i kekahi mau mea pāʻani moe, nā ʻōlelo homophobic intrusive, a me nā mea ʻē aʻe. Wahi a ia, ʻo 63% o nā kāne homosexual e mare i ka wahine ʻaʻole loa e ʻae i kā lākou makemake maoli.
E heluhelu hou ma shesaid.com.
1 ʻO Bonnie Kaye "nā kāne male male: nā kāne kāne kāne a me nā kāne bisexual i ka male pololei" (CCB Publishing, 2012).