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ʻOiai ua hoʻi hou kāu keiki i ke kula, hoʻokahi wale nō nīnau "paʻakikī" iā ʻoe: ua hana ʻo ia i mau hoaaloha a me nā hoaaloha? I loko o ko mākou kaiaulu, ʻoi aku ka waiwai o ka extrovert a hoʻopuni ʻia e nā hoaaloha, ʻoiai ʻaʻole i ʻike maikaʻi ʻia ka poʻe i mālama ʻia a me ke ʻano mehameha. No laila, makemake nā mākua e ʻike ʻo kā lākou keiki ka "hōkū" o ka hoʻomaha, nā hoaaloha me nā mea āpau, ʻoluʻolu a "kaulana".
ʻO ka pōmaikaʻi, a i ʻole ka pōʻino, ʻaʻole like nā mea a pau e like me kēia. ʻAʻole maʻalahi kekahi mau keiki ma mua o nā keiki ʻē aʻe, a ʻokoʻa paha.
ʻO nā keikikāne i ka wā kamaliʻi: kahi nīnau o ke ʻano
Ma mua o ka hoʻokau ʻana i ke keiki ma ka nīnau mau ʻana iā ia inā ua loaʻa ʻo ia i mau hoaaloha, a pēlā e kuhikuhi ai i ka manamana lima i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole ia he "maʻamau" iā ia inā ʻaʻole, he mea maikaʻi e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ke keiki " social style”, e pili ana i kona ano. Hilahila, mālama ʻia, moeʻuhane… Makemake kekahi mau keiki e pāʻani mehameha, a i ʻole i ʻelua, ma mua o ka hui pū ʻana. a makemake i nā pilina liʻiliʻi i ka "hopena nui". ʻOi aku ka ʻoluʻolu me hoʻokahi a ʻelua mau keiki a lākou i ʻike ai, ma mua o kahi hui holoʻokoʻa. A ma hope o nā mea a pau, he ʻino anei?
Inā hilahila kāu keiki, ʻo ka hoʻomau ʻana i ka haʻi ʻana iā ia e pono e hele aku i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole ia e kōkua. ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e pāʻani i kēia hilahila, no ke aha ʻaʻole ma ka haʻi ʻana iā ia he hilahila ʻoe (a i ʻole kekahi lālā o kāu hui, ʻo ka mea nui ʻo ia ka manaʻo ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō). A pāpā i nā ʻōlelo ʻino, ʻoi aku hoʻi i ka lehulehu, e pili ana i kona hilahila. E paipai iā ia e lanakila, me nā pilikia liʻiliʻi ʻo ia ka mea e hoʻomaikaʻi ʻia ma hope, ʻo ia kahi ala ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
"ʻAʻole i kono ʻia kaʻu keiki i ka lā hānau ..." ʻO ka ʻōlelo aʻo a ka shrink
I ka papa, ke kahe nei nā kono lā hānau… ʻaʻole loaʻa i kāu keiki. A kaumaha ia! He kūlana ʻaʻole maʻalahi iā ia… hāʻawi ʻo Angélique Kosinski-Cimelière, ke kaukaʻi maʻi psychologist ma Paris, i kāna ʻōlelo aʻo e hoʻoponopono i ke kūlana.
>> Hoʻāʻo mākou e ʻike hou aku, no ka laʻana mai ke kumu. Pehea i ka wā hoʻomaha: pāʻani anei kā mākou keiki me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe? Hōʻole ʻia ʻo ia? Ua hiki mai kekahi mea? Hilahila anei ia? Inā pēlā, hiki iā mākou ke kōkua iā ia e hana i kona manaʻo ponoʻī. A laila paipai ʻia ʻo ia e hāʻawi i kona manaʻo. Mahalo mākou iā ia no kāna mau holomua. Paipai mākou iā ia e hele aku i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, e hoʻoholo pū kekahi.
>> Pāʻani mākou i lalo. No ka hōʻoluʻolu iā ia, wehewehe mākou iā ia ʻaʻole hiki i nā mākua ke kono aku i nā keiki he nui no ka lā hānau no ka mea pono lākou e kiaʻi ʻia a lawa ka lumi e hoʻokipa ai iā lākou. Akā ʻaʻole ia manaʻo ʻaʻole makemake kona mau hoa iā ia. Eia hou, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomaka mai kā mākou hiʻohiʻona: ʻai kekahi mau hoaaloha me ka ʻole o mākou. A i kekahi manawa he hoaaloha ʻaʻole i kono ʻia. "Hiki iā mākou ke hoʻolālā i kahi hana maikaʻi āna e makemake ai e hana i kēlā lā, e like me ka hele ʻana i ka pancake, no ka laʻana," wahi a Angélique Kosinski-Cimelière. A i ʻole e kono aku i kahi hoa papa he alo a he alo e hana i nā paʻa ikaika. A laila makemake paha ʻo ia e kono iā ia. Ke ʻimi nei mākou i nā kumu hoaloha ʻē aʻe ma o nā hana e like me ka judo, keaka, nā haʻawina kiʻi kiʻi… A laila, hoʻomanaʻo mākou iā ia e hana pinepine ʻia nā hoaaloha maoli ke ulu mākou.
ʻO Dorothée Blancheton
Pehea e kōkua ai i kāu keiki e hoaaloha
He mea hilahila no ke keiki ʻaʻole e hoʻolauna i ka wā kamaliʻi, no ka mea, he kuleana koʻikoʻi kēia no kona ola makua e hiki mai ana a hiki ke lawe mai iā ia i nā mea he nui.
Ma mua o ka koi ʻana i kāna keiki e hele i kahi pāʻina lā hānau inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e makemake, a i ʻole e hoʻopaʻa inoa iā ia e kūʻē i kona makemake ma kahi haʻawina extra-curricular, makemake mākou e hāʻawi iā ia.kono i kekahi hoa a i ʻole ʻelua e hele mai e pāʻani ma ka home, ma ka ʻāina kamaʻāina.
Hiki iā mākou, ma ke kūkākūkā pū me ia, ke koho i kahi hana extra-curricular ma kahi hui liʻiliʻi, e like me ka hula, judo, keaka… ʻAʻole like nā loulou i hana ʻia ma laila me ke kula, ma kahi ʻoi aku ka mālama ʻia.
Inā hilahila ʻo ia, hiki i ka pāʻani ʻana me kahi keiki liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi (ka hoalauna, hoahānau a hoahānau paha) hiki ke kōkua iā ia e loaʻa ka hilinaʻi me nā keiki i kona mau makahiki, ma ke kau ʻana iā ia i kahi kūlana "nui".
ʻO ka hope loa, inā he "precocious" kāu keiki, e hoʻokomo iā ia i nā hana kahi e hālāwai ai ʻo ia me nā keiki "e like me ia". No ka laʻana i ka hui chess inā mahalo ʻo ia i kēia pāʻani, ʻepekema, hana manual precision, etc.
He liʻiliʻi paha nā hoaaloha o ke keiki no ka manawa pōkole, ma muli o ka neʻe ʻana, ka ʻeha puʻuwai a i ʻole ka hoʻoweliweli ʻana ma ke kula. E hoʻolohe i kona manaʻo, a mai hoʻokaʻulua e kamaʻilio me kāna kumu e ʻimi pū ai i nā hopena.