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Kūkākūkā ka psychologist kaulana loa a kumukūʻai hoʻi ma Rūsia me 30 mau makahiki o ka ʻike hana: i mea e hānai ai i kahi keiki hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho, e aʻo e ola i ke ala āu e makemake ai. Ua hele ka lā wahine i kahi haʻi ʻōlelo na ka haku o ka psychology keiki a kākau i nā mea hoihoi nui nāu.
E pili ana i kou hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho a pehea e pili ai i ke keiki
He moeʻuhane paha ʻoe e ʻike ai kāu mau keiki i ka mea a lākou e makemake ai - kahi ʻano nui a koʻikoʻi no ke ola, ʻoiai he mea ia e hilinaʻi ai iā ʻoe iho, manaʻo kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe, ke koho kūpono o ka hana, ʻohana, hoaaloha, a pēlā aku. keiki? ʻAʻole inā ʻaʻole ʻoe ʻike pehea e ʻike ai i kāu mau makemake.
ʻO Mikhail Labkovsky ka psychologist ʻoi loa ka waiwai ma Rūsia
ʻAʻole i nīnau nā mākua o kaʻu hanauna: “He aha kāu e makemake ai i ka ʻaina kakahiaka a i ʻole ka ʻaina awakea? He aha nā lole āu e koho ai? ”Maʻa mau, ka mea a ka makuahine i kuke ai, ʻai mākou. ʻO nā huaʻōlelo nui no mākou he "kūpono" a "kūpono". No laila, i koʻu wā makua, hoʻomaka wau e nīnau iaʻu iho: he aha kaʻu e makemake maoli ai? A ʻike wau ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu ka pane.
A ʻo ka hapa nui o mākou - ua maʻa mākou i ka noho ʻana me ka hana hou ʻana i nā hanana makua, a he pilikia nui kēia, no ka mea, ʻo ke ala wale nō e ola hauʻoli ai ko mākou ola ʻana e like me kā mākou makemake.
Hoʻolālā nā keiki ma lalo o 5-8 mau makahiki e ka hoʻohālikelike me ko lākou mau mākua - ʻo kēia ka hana a ka honua holoʻokoʻa holoholona. ʻO ia, he laʻana ʻoe nona.
E nīnau paha ʻoe: pehea ʻoe e aʻo ai e hoʻomaopopo i kāu mau makemake? Hoʻomaka liʻiliʻi - me nā mea liʻiliʻi o kēlā me kēia lā. A ma hope e hoʻomaopopo paha ʻoe i kāu mea e makemake ai e hana. E nīnau iā ʻoe iho: he aha ke ʻano curd āu e makemake ai? Ke loaʻa ʻoe i ka pane, neʻe. ʻO kahi laʻana, ua ala ʻoe i ke kakahiaka - a mai ʻai i ka mea i loko o ka pahu hau a hoʻomākaukau paha ma mua inā ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e ʻai. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi e hele i kahi cafe, a i ke ahiahi e kūʻai iā ʻoe iho i kāu mea e aloha nui ai.
I ka hale kūʻai, kūʻai i nā mea āu i makemake ai, ʻaʻole i nā mea e kūʻai aku ʻia nei ma ke kūʻai aku. A, ke ʻaʻahu ʻana i ke kakahiaka, koho i nā lole āu e makemake ai.
Aia kekahi pilikia koʻikoʻi me ka kānalua iā ʻoe iho - he ambivalence kēia, ke wāwahi ʻia ʻoe e nā makemake multidirectional: ʻo kahi laʻana, i ka manawa like e ʻai a lilo i ka paona, hiamoe a nānā i ke kīwī, a nui pū ke kālā a hana ʻole. .
ʻO kēia ka psychology o neurotics: aia kēlā mau kānaka i kahi kūlana hakakā kūloko i nā manawa āpau, ʻaʻole ke ʻano o ko lākou ola ma ke ala a lākou e makemake ai, aia nō ke manaʻo ʻia he mau hanana keakea ... Pono pono e hele i waho o kēia pōʻai kolohe, me ke kōkua o kahi psychologist.
ʻAʻole mahalo kēlā mau kānaka i kā lākou koho, hiki iā lākou ke hoʻohuli koke, a hoʻololi koke ko lākou hoʻoikaika ʻana. He aha e hana ai e pili ana? Inā kūpono a hewa paha, e hoʻāʻo e hana i kāu makemake e hana. Inā hoʻoholo ʻoe, e hoʻāʻo ʻaʻole e ninini iā ia ma ke ala a lawe i ka hopena! ʻO ka mea koe ka force majeure.
ʻO kekahi ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i ka poʻe kānalua: pono ʻoe e nīnau i nā nīnau liʻiliʻi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
ʻO kaʻu laʻana punahele kahi lumi kūpono o nā wahine i kahi hale kūʻai: hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i kēlā mau wahine i kēia manawa koke. Mai kāhea i ka wahine kūʻai aku a i ʻole ke kāne a mai nīnau iā lākou inā kūpono kēia mea iā ʻoe ʻaʻole paha. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e maopopo iā ʻoe iho, e kū mālie a noʻonoʻo ma ka liʻiliʻi a hiki i ka pani ʻana o ka hale kūʻai, akā na ʻoe nō ka hoʻoholo. He paʻakikī a ʻano ʻole ia, akā ʻaʻole ma kekahi ala ʻē aʻe.
No nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e makemake i kahi mea mai iā ʻoe (a hoʻonohonoho ʻia ko mākou honua e pono ai kēlā me kēia mea i kekahi mea mai kēlā me kēia), pono ʻoe e hele mai kahi āu e makemake ai iā ʻoe iho. Inā kūlike ka makemake o ke kanaka me kāu, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻae, akā mai hana i kekahi mea e pōʻino ai iā ʻoe iho a i kou makemake paha.
Eia kahi hiʻohiʻona paʻakikī: he mau keiki liʻiliʻi kāu e pono ai ka nānā, a hoʻi mai ʻoe i ka hale mai ka hana, luhi loa ʻoe a ʻaʻole makemake ʻoe e pāʻani pū me lākou. Inā hele ʻoe e pāʻani, no laila ʻaʻole ʻoe no ka manaʻo o ke aloha, akā no ka manaʻo hewa. ʻIke maikaʻi nā keiki i kēia! ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ka haʻi ʻana aku i ke keiki: “Māluhiluhi au i kēia lā, pāʻani i ka lā ʻapōpō.” A e maopopo i ke keiki ke pāʻani nei kona makuahine me ia, no ka mea makemake maoli ʻo ia e hana, ʻaʻole no ka mea he wahine makuahine maikaʻi ʻo ia.
E pili ana i ke kūʻokoʻa o nā keiki
ʻO ka ʻōlelo maʻamau, aia ʻelua mau aʻo no ka mālama ʻana i nā pēpē: ʻōlelo kekahi e hānai ʻia ka pēpē e ka hola, a ʻo kekahi e hāʻawi ʻia ka meaʻai ke makemake ia. Koho ka poʻe he nui e hānai i ka hola no ka mea maʻalahi ia - makemake ka poʻe āpau e noho a hiamoe. Akā ʻo kēia nuance he mea nui ia mai ka manaʻo o ka hoʻokumu ʻana i nā makemake o ke keiki ponoʻī. ʻO nā keiki, ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono e hoʻoponopono i kā lākou meaʻai, akā i loko o ke kumu o ka meaʻai kūpono, hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau: "He aha kāu makemake i ka ʻaina kakahiaka?" A i ʻole ʻoe ke hele i ka hale kūʻai me kāu keiki: “He 1500 rubles kaʻu, makemake mākou e kūʻai iā ʻoe i pōkole a me kahi pālule. Koho iā lākou iho. “
ʻO ka manaʻo i ʻike nā mākua ma mua o nā keiki i ka mea a lākou e makemake ai he popopo, ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike iki i kekahi mea. ʻO kēlā mau keiki, nā mākua, kā lākou koho, e hoʻouna ai i nā ʻano ʻāpana āpau, ʻaʻole maopopo iā lākou a laila makemake lākou. A ʻokoʻa, ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike pehea e hoʻokele ai i kā lākou manawa iho, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe o lākou. Pono e waiho nā keiki iā lākou iho no 2 mau hola i ka lā e aʻo ai e noho iā lākou iho a noʻonoʻo e pili ana i kā lākou makemake.
Ua ulu aʻe ke keiki, a inā ʻoe e nīnau iā ia no nā ʻano kumu like ʻole āna e makemake ai, a laila e maikaʻi nā mea āpau me kona mau makemake. A laila, ma ka makahiki 15-16, e hoʻomaka ʻo ia e hoʻomaopopo i kāna makemake e hana aʻe. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hewa paha ʻo ia, akā maikaʻi kēlā. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e koi aku i kekahi e komo i kahi kula nui: e aʻo ʻo ia no 5 mau makahiki, a laila e ola ʻo ia me kahi ʻoihana aloha ʻole ʻia i kona ola a pau.
E nīnau iā ia i nā nīnau, hoihoi i kāna mau leʻaleʻa, hāʻawi kālā ʻeke - a maopopo iā ia kāna mea e makemake ai.
Pehea e ʻike ai i nā kālena a ke keiki
Makemake wau e ʻōlelo koke ʻaʻole koi ke keiki e aʻo i kekahi mea ma mua o ke kula! ʻO ka hoʻomohala mua e pili ana i ka ʻole. I kēia makahiki, hiki i ke keiki ke hana wale i kekahi mea i ke ala pāʻani a ke makemake wale ʻo ia iā ia.
Ua hoʻouna lākou i ke keiki i kahi pōʻai a i kahi ʻāpana, a ma hope o kekahi manawa ua luhi ʻo ia? Mai hōʻino iā ia. A ʻo ka mea e minamina no ka manawa i hoʻolilo ʻia ʻo ia kou pilikia.
Manaʻo nā psychologists ʻo ka hoihoi paʻa i kekahi ʻoihana i nā keiki e ʻike ʻia ma hope wale o 12 mau makahiki. Hiki iā ʻoe, ma ke ʻano he makua, ke noi iā ia, a nāna e koho.
Inā he kālena kā kā ke keiki a i ʻole ʻo ia kona ola. Inā loaʻa iā ia nā mākaukau, a makemake ʻo ia e ʻike iā lākou, a laila, a ʻaʻohe mea hiki ke keʻakeʻa!
Manaʻo ka poʻe he nui: inā he hiki i kaʻu pēpē no kekahi mea, pono e hoʻomohala ʻia. ʻOiaʻiʻo - mai hana! Loaʻa iā ia kona ola ponoʻī, a ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e ola nona. Pono kahi keiki e kaha kiʻi, a ʻo ka hiki ke hana i nā kiʻi me ka nani ʻaʻole ia he mea i loko ona iho, hiki i nā mea he nui ke loaʻa iā ia. Mele, pena, palapala, lāʻau lapaʻau - i kēia mau wahi hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokō i kahi mea wale nō ma ka manaʻo ʻana i ka pono no lākou!
ʻOiaʻiʻo, kaumaha kekahi makuahine i ka ʻike ʻana ʻaʻole makemake kāna keiki e hoʻomōhala i kāna tālena maopopo. A ʻōlelo ka Kepanī ʻaʻole pono e ʻohi ʻia kahi pua nani, hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā wale iā ia a hele aʻe. A ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke ʻae i ke kūlana a ʻōlelo: "Ke huki maikaʻi nei ʻoe, maikaʻi" - a neʻe i mua.
Pehea e loaʻa ai kahi keiki e kōkua a puni ka hale
Ke ʻike kahi keiki liʻiliʻi i ka hana a ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne i kekahi mea a puni ka hale, a laila, ʻoiaʻiʻo, makemake ʻo ia e hui pū. A inā ʻoe e ʻōlelo iā ia: “Hele, mai hoʻopilikia!” (ma hope o nā mea āpau, e haki ʻo ia i nā ipu he nui aʻe ma mua o ka holoi ʻana), a laila, mai pūʻiwa i ka holoi ʻole ʻana o kāu keiki he 15 mau makahiki i kona kīʻaha ma hope ona. No laila, inā hoʻomaka ke keiki i kahi hana, pono ʻo ia e kākoʻo mau.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻawi e komo i kahi kumu maʻamau. Akā ʻaʻohe mea hoʻopiʻi i ka lunamanaʻo: "Hilahila ʻoe, e hakakā wale ana koʻu makuahine." E like me ka mea a ka poʻe kahiko i ʻike ai ma mua: pono ka lunamanaʻo a me ka lawehala wale nō i mea e noho aliʻi ai i ka poʻe.
Inā hoʻomaha ka makua a hauʻoli i ke ola, a laila maʻalahi kona ola. ʻO kahi laʻana, makemake kahi makuahine e holoi i nā pā a hiki ke holoi iā lākou no ke keiki. Akā inā ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia e huikau ma kahi poho, a laila ʻaʻole pono iā ia e holoi i nā pā no kāna keiki. Akā makemake ʻo ia e ʻai mai ke kīʻaha maʻemaʻe, ʻōlelo lākou iā ia: "ʻAʻole au makemake i ka mea lepo, hele e holoi ma hope ou!" ʻOi aku ka holomua a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā lula i kou poʻo.
Mai hoʻoikaika i kahi keiki makua e lilo i kahu no kahi ʻōpio ke makemake ʻole ʻo ia. E hoʻomanaʻo: ʻoiai kona mau makahiki, makemake ʻo ia i keiki. Ke ʻōlelo ʻoe, "He makua ʻoe, nui," hana ʻoe i ka lili no ka pēpē. ʻO ka mea mua, hoʻomaka ka ʻelemakule e noʻonoʻo ua hala kāna wā kamaliʻi, a ʻo ka lua, ʻaʻole aloha ʻia ʻo ia.
Ma ke ala, ma kahi leka, pehea e hana ai i mau hoaaloha me nā keiki: pili loa nā kaikunāne ke hoʻopaʻi pū ʻoe iā lākou!
ʻAe, i kekahi manawa kū lākou no ke kumu koʻikoʻi ʻole, mai ka polū. Hoʻomaka ka ʻike o nā keiki ma kekahi manawa ʻaʻole pili ka honua iā lākou. Hiki i kēia ke hana, no ka laʻana, ke waiho ka makuahine iā ia i loko o kāna moena ma kahi o ka waiho ʻana iā ia e hiamoe me ia.
ʻO kēlā mau keiki, ma muli o nā ʻano like ʻole, ʻaʻole i hele i loko o kēia wā, "paʻa", ke ʻike nui nei lākou i ko lākou kūleʻa ʻole, nā makemake i hoʻokō ʻole ʻia - kumu kēia i ka hysteria ikaika. Hoʻomaha ka ʻōnaehana ʻōnaehana. A ʻo nā mākua pinepine, ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, hoʻonui i ka paepae noʻonoʻo o ke keiki ke hoʻokiʻekiʻe lākou i ko lākou leo iā ia. ʻO ka mea mua, mai pane i ka ʻuwā, waiho wale i ka lumi. E hoʻomaopopo ke keiki a hiki i ka wā e malu ai ia, ʻaʻole e hele hou ke kamaʻilio. ʻ Saylelo me ka mālie: A haʻalele i ka wahi, no ka mea pono i ke keiki i kahi hoʻolohe no ka hysteria.
ʻO ka lua, ke makemake ʻoe e hoʻopaʻi i kahi pēpē, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hana i kahi ʻano kolohe i kou alo. Pono ʻoe e hele i ona lā, ʻakaʻaka ākea, ʻapo iā ia a ʻōlelo: "Aloha wau iā ʻoe, ʻaʻohe mea pilikino, akā ua ʻae mākou, no laila ke hana nei wau i kēia." I ka mua, pono ke keiki e hoʻonohonoho i kahi kūlana, wehewehe i ka pili o ke kumu a me ka hopena, a laila, inā e uhaʻi ʻo ia i kāna ʻaelike, e hoʻopaʻi ʻia ʻo ia no kēia, akā me ka ʻuā ʻole a me ka hōʻino.
Inā kūʻole ʻoe a paʻa pono iā ʻoe iho, a laila e pāʻani ka pēpē i kāu mau lula.
Nīnau pinepine ʻia wau e pili ana i nā hāmeʻa - ehia mau hola i ka lā e pāʻani ai ke keiki me ia? 1,5 mau hola - i nā lā pule, 4 mau hola - ma nā hopena pule, a ʻo kēia manawa pū kekahi me ka hana ʻana i nā haʻawina home ma ka kamepiula. A pēlā - a hiki i ka wā makua. A ʻo kēia ka rula me ke koe ʻole. E hoʻopau iā Wi-Fi ma ka home, e kiʻi i nā hāmeʻa ke kaʻawale kāu keiki ma ka home, a hāʻawi aku iā lākou ke hoʻi mai ʻoe i ka home - he nui nā koho.