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Manaʻo nā mākua a me nā kumu i ka ulu ʻana o nā keiki i kahi ʻano e hoʻoholo ai ka moekolohe i nā mea āpau: kūleʻa, hauʻoli, waiwai maikaʻi. He aha nā mea hoʻoweliweli a ka moe kolohe mua a he aha nā mea e hana ai nā mākua?
I kēia mau lā, hiki i nā keiki a me nā ʻōpio ke komo maʻalahi i nā kiʻi ponokala, a ʻo Instagram (kahi hui extremist i pāpā ʻia ma Rūsia) me kona hiki ke hoʻihoʻi hou e hilahila ai ka poʻe he nui i ko lākou kino "kūpono ʻole".
"ʻO ka hoʻokamakama mua ʻana e pili ana i nā kaikamahine a me nā kaikamahine ʻōpio, wahi a ka mea hoʻoponopono ʻohana ʻo Catherine McCall. "ʻO nā kiʻi wahine e hoʻopuni ana i kahi kaikamahine e lilo i kumu hoʻohālike e aʻo ai ʻo ia i ka hana, kamaʻilio a kūkulu i kona ʻano. Inā i ka wā kamaliʻi ua aʻo ke kaikamahine e mālama i ka wahine ma ke ʻano he makemake, hiki ke loaʻa iā ia nā pilikia me ka manaʻo ponoʻī, hoʻonui i ka hopohopo, nā maʻi ʻai a me nā mea hoʻohui.
"Makaʻu wau e kau i kaʻu mau kiʻi, ʻaʻole au i hemolele"
I ka makahiki 2006, ua hoʻokumu ka American Psychological Association i kahi pūʻulu hana e loiloi i ka pilikia o ka moekolohe i nā keiki.
Ma muli o nā hopena o kāna hana, ua hoʻokumu nā psychologists ʻehā mau hiʻohiʻona e hoʻokaʻawale i ka hoʻokalakupua mai ka ʻike olakino o ka moekolohe1:
ʻO ka waiwai o ke kanaka e hoʻoholo wale ʻia ma kona ʻano a me kona ʻano;
ʻike ʻia ka nani o waho me ka moekolohe, a me ka moekolohe me ka hauʻoli a me ka kūleʻa;
ua manaʻo ʻia ke kanaka he mea moe kolohe, ʻaʻole he kanaka kūʻokoʻa me ke kuleana koho manuahi;
ʻO ka moekolohe ke kumu nui o ka holomua i hoʻokau ikaika ʻia i ka media a me ke kaiapuni o ke keiki.
"I koʻu hele ʻana i Facebook (kahi hui extremist i pāpā ʻia ma Rusia), ʻo ka mea mua aʻu e ʻike ai ʻo ia nā kiʻi o ka poʻe aʻu i ʻike ai," wahi a Liza, 15 makahiki.. - Ma lalo o ka nani loa o lākou, haʻalele ka poʻe i nā haneli he nui. Makaʻu wau e kau i kaʻu mau kiʻi no ka mea me he mea lā iaʻu e like me ka slim, me ka ʻili maikaʻi like a me nā hiʻohiʻona maʻamau. ʻAe, hāʻawi mai lākou iaʻu i nā makemake, akā liʻiliʻi - a laila hoʻomaka wau e noʻonoʻo i ka manaʻo o ka poʻe i nānā a hele. He mea weliweli!"
Ua ulu wikiwiki lākou
"Ke holo wikiwiki nei ke ola a ke apo nei mākou i ka ʻenehana ma mua o ka ʻike ʻana i ke ʻano o ka hoʻololi ʻana i ko mākou ola," wehewehe ʻo Reg Baily, ke poʻo o ka Mothers Council UK. "Inā hoʻouna ke keiki i kahi kiʻi i kahi hoaaloha a i ʻole kaʻana like i ka lehulehu, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e ʻike mau i ka hopena o ka hopena."
Wahi a ia, makemake pinepine nā mākua e haʻalele i kēia mau kumuhana. I kekahi manawa, lilo ka ʻenehana i ala e haʻalele ai i nā kamaʻilio ʻino. Akā ʻo kēia wale nō ka mea e hoʻoikaika ai i ka noho kaʻawale ʻana o nā keiki, e waiho ana iā lākou e hoʻoponopono i ko lākou mau makaʻu a me nā hopohopo iā lākou iho. No ke aha kēia hana? No hea mai kēia ʻano ʻino?
I ka makahiki 2015, ua alakaʻi ʻo Netmums i kahi haʻawina i loaʻa:
Manaʻo ka 89% o nā mākua ʻōpio ke ulu wikiwiki nei kā lākou keiki - ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki ma mua o lākou.
"Poloke nā mākua, ʻaʻole lākou ʻike i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me nā keiki i ʻokoʻa loa ko lākou ʻike," wahi a Siobhan Freegard, ka mea nāna i hoʻokumu iā Netmums. A he kumu ko lakou. Wahi a nā koho balota, i ka hapalua o nā mākua, ʻo ka mea nui i ke kanaka he helehelena nani.
kānana kūlohelohe
ʻIke nā mākua i ka hoʻoweliweli, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hana i kekahi mea e pili ana iā ia. ʻAʻole lākou i ʻike i ke kumu o ka pilikia no ka mea ʻaʻohe kumu hoʻokahi. Aia kahi hui pahū o ka hoʻolaha, nā huahana media a me nā pilina hoa. Hoʻopili kēia mau mea i ke keiki, e koi ana iā ia e noʻonoʻo mau: he aha kāu e hana ai a manaʻo e lilo i kanaka makua? Hoʻouka mau ʻia kona manaʻo ponoʻī mai nā ʻaoʻao a pau. " Hiki ke pale ʻia kēia mau hoʻouka kaua?
Inā hoʻouka kekahi keiki i kāna kiʻi i ka lehulehu, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e ʻike mau i ka hopena
"Aia kahi kānana kūlohelohe e kānana i ka ʻike maikaʻi ʻole - ʻo ia ka paʻa o ka naʻau, Wahi a Reg Bailey "hiki i nā keiki i ʻike i ka hopena o kā lākou hana ke hoʻoholo kūʻokoʻa." Ua ʻike kahi hui mai ke Kulanui o Pennsylvania (USA) he hewa ka pale ʻana i ke keiki mai ka mea hiki ke hōʻeha iā ia - i kēia hihia, ʻaʻole ia e hoʻomohala i kahi "immunity" kūlohelohe.2.
ʻO kahi hoʻolālā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, e like me ka mea kākau, he pilikia kaohi: e ʻimi ʻo ia i ka honua, me ka honua o ka Pūnaewele, akā e aʻo iā ia e nīnau i nā nīnau a kaʻana like i kona mau manaʻo a me kona mau manaʻo. "ʻO ka hana a nā mākua, ʻaʻole ia e hoʻoweliweli i ke keiki me nā kiʻi o ka honua "mākua", akā e kaʻana like i kā lākou ʻike a kūkākūkā pū i nā pilikia paʻakikī.
1 No ka 'ike hou aku, e 'ike i ka pūnaewele puni honua o ka American Psychological Association apa.org/pi/women/programs/girls/report.aspx.
2 P. Wisniewski, et al. "ACM Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems", 2016.