ʻAʻole kēia he hoʻoholo noʻonoʻo ʻole, ʻaʻole hoʻi he manaʻo. Ma hope o ka noho pū ʻana no nā makahiki he nui, hāʻawi kekahi i kekahi i kahi hapakolu o ko lākou ola, ua hoʻoholo lākou e haʻalele. No ke aha i kaʻawale ai nā kānaka ʻelua ma hope o ka hele ʻana i ke ahi, ka wai a me nā paipu keleawe? A he aha kāu e hana ai e pale aku ai i kēia mai hiki mai iā ʻoe?
Inā ua loaʻa kēia i kekahi āu i ʻike ai a iā ʻoe iho paha, e ʻike ʻaʻole ʻoe wale nō. Ke lilo nei kēia i mea kaulana i ka honua. ʻO kahi laʻana, hoʻokahi o ʻehā male male ma ʻAmelika ua ʻoi aku ma mua o 50, a ʻo ka paʻakikī o ka poʻe e hemo i ka makahiki he pālua ia i ko lākou i ka makahiki 1990.
No nā hoaaloha a me nā ʻohana, he mea kupanaha kēia, akā ʻike mākou i ka hemo ʻana ma waena o ka lehulehu a ma waena o ka poʻe a mākou i ʻike pono ai no nā makahiki he nui. No ke aha kēia hana?
1. Kaʻawale mālie lākou. He lohi ke kaʻina hana e hiki ai i ka hemo kālā. Hana mālie nā mea a pau. Ua like ia me nā kīʻaha hiki ʻole ke haʻihaʻi hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻule a, ʻoiai ʻoe e hāʻule ai, ʻaʻohe mea i hana ʻia. Akā ke waiho nei kekahi mau microcracks, ʻoi aku ka nui o lākou. A laila lilo ko lākou helu i mea koʻikoʻi, hāʻule ʻoe i kahi pā - a nahaha i ʻāpana. Pēlā nō i nā pilina.
ʻO ka hapa nui o ka poʻe i kaʻawale i ka hopena o ko lākou ola e ʻōlelo nei ua neʻe wale lākou mai kekahi i kekahi i ka wā ma mua, ua hele i ko lākou ala ʻokoʻa.
Ma kahi hohonu, kokoke i ka lalo loa, aia ke au anuanu mau, ʻoluʻolu. ʻAʻole ʻike ʻia e kekahi, akā ʻike ʻia kona pā anu e ka poʻe e hui mau ana. ʻO kēia ʻoluʻolu a me ka huhū lohi e hiki ke hoʻoheheʻe a luku i ka mea i ʻike ʻia ma ka ʻili.
Manaʻo pinepine nā wahine ua hāʻawi nui lākou: haʻalele i kā lākou ʻoihana, ʻaʻole hoʻomaha, a mālama. A me he mea lā i loko o ka pilina, ʻaʻohe o lākou mea e hilinaʻi ai. A ʻo lākou, ʻaʻole loa nā kāne, e hoʻoholo e haʻalele, ua hānai i nā keiki.
2. E ʻike ʻia ka ʻokoʻa makahiki. I kekahi manawa hoʻomaka ka makahiki e pāʻani i kahi kuleana, ʻoiai i ka wā i hui mua ai ʻoe kekahi i kekahi, ʻike ʻole ka ʻokoʻa. He ʻano noʻonoʻo kaulana kēia - ʻo ka ʻokoʻa o nā makahiki he ʻumi ma nā makahiki like ʻole he mea kupaianaha paha (he papa mua a puka puka!), A i ʻole he mea nui (he kaikamahine 20 makahiki a me kahi ʻōpio 30 makahiki. ).
ʻO 45 a me 60 he 20 a me 35 wale nō. A i kēia manawa ua hōʻike kēia mau helu i ka pilikia o ka waena waena a me nā hōʻailona mua o ka ʻelemakule.
I kēlā me kēia manawa e hele ai ʻoe i kahi pilikia, makemake ʻoe e hoʻi i ka wā i hala, kahi i kamaʻāina a kamaʻāina nā mea a pau.
Kekahi mau manawa i loko o ko lakou mau ola, wehewehe Stephen Tatkin, PhD, kanaka hele ma ka psychological a me ka biological "hoʻonui" o ka lolo. Hana ʻia kēia i ka makahiki 15, a ma 40.
I kēlā me kēia manawa āu e ʻike ai i kahi pilikia, makemake ʻoe e hoʻi i ka wā i hala, kahi i kamaʻāina a kamaʻāina nā mea a pau. No kēia kumu, hoʻomaka ka poʻe i ka pilina me nā hoa ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi ma mua o lākou iho - kōkua lākou iā lākou e hoʻomaha iki i ka lā wela o ke kauwela.
3. Hoʻomaha lākou iā lākou iho. Ma kahi kokoke i ke kanaka hoʻokahi 24 hola o ka lā, 7 lā o ka pule, maʻa mākou a ulu maoli kekahi i kekahi. Akā i kekahi manawa ke alakaʻi nei i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e hoʻōki ka poʻe i ka hoʻāʻo.
Hana ikaika ʻoe, hoʻonui i kāu ʻoihana, a loaʻa kālā no kou ʻohana, akā ua hoʻōki ʻoe i ka hana ikaika e lilo i hoa noʻonoʻo a he kanaka hoihoi. Ua ʻae ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e wehe.
4. Loaʻa i ke kālā kahi waiwai ʻē aʻe. E ʻike ʻia nā ʻokoʻa o ka hoʻolilo ʻana i ka wā e pono ai ʻoe e ʻoi aku ka hoʻomākeʻaka inā ʻaʻole ākea nā koho e like me ka waena waena.
5. Ka wahine. I kou mau makahiki, hiki mai nā loli hormonal, a hiki ke hoʻololi i ka nani o kāu hoa iā ʻoe. A i ʻole, ʻaʻole ʻo ka wahine wale nō ka mea nāna i hoʻopaʻa i ka male a mālama iā ʻoe.
I kekahi manawa ua emi ka ʻokoʻa o nā ʻano moe kolohe a ʻike ʻia ka hiki ke launa pū kekahi me kekahi, noho pū nā hoa kāne ma ke ʻano he mau hoaaloha maikaʻi. I kekahi manawa, ma kahi ʻē aʻe, i loko o kekahi o lākou e piʻi koke ka pono o ka moekolohe.
He aha kāu mea e pono ai e pale aku i kēia mai hiki mai iā ʻoe?
1. Hana i kou pilina makakoho. ʻO ke ʻano o ka pale ʻana i kekahi i kekahi - i mua o nā mea āpau, a ʻoiai ʻoe wale nō. E akamai kekahi i kekahi, e uhi i ke kua o kekahi. Ua nui nā keiki, ua pau ka hana, i kēia manawa ua waiho wale ʻoe, a he hui hoʻokahi ʻoe.
2. E malama oe ia oe iho. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kaumaha, ka noho ʻana ma ka home a me ka ʻaʻahu ʻana i ke ʻano o ka "home chic" ʻaʻole ia ka hopena kūpono. He ʻōlelo kēia i kāu hoa pili ʻaʻole ʻoe mālama hou. E mālama iā ʻoe iho a me ia.
3. E makaʻala i kāu kuleana i ka hoʻomaopopo ʻole. Akā, mai wikiwiki e haʻalele a haʻalele iā ʻoe iho i ka manaʻo o ka hemo. Nānā i ke aniani. Inā ʻike ʻoe i kahi kanaka luhi a luhi i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana, aia paha kekahi o ka pilikia iā ʻoe? A inā pēlā, e hoʻoholo - e hoʻihoʻi i ka hoihoi i kou ola. ʻO kahi huakaʻi hou - ʻoiai inā hoʻoholo ʻoe e ulu pū i kahi ʻano melika hou - e hana i kahi moʻolelo hou e pili ana i kou ʻohana. Mea hou a hoihoi.
4. E kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka moekolohe. Ke loli nei kou kino, ke lawe nei kou moekolohe i nā ʻano like ʻole. E ʻimi iā ia ma nā pā, nā ahiahi mālie, me ka ʻoluʻolu a me ka ʻakaʻaka. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana hou i nā pō i hala, akā aia pū lākou me ʻoe - i nā hoʻomanaʻo.
5. A me nā mea ʻē aʻe kekahi. E kamaʻilio pū kekahi i nā mea a pau. ʻO kēia wale nō ke ala e hoʻoponopono ai i nā pilikia.