ʻIke mākou a pau i ka mea nui o ka launa pū ʻana me kā mākou keiki i loko i kēlā me kēia manawa: kā mākou ʻāpana koke, ola, hana. Eia naʻe, ke ho'ōla nei kēia kamaʻāina ma lalo o ke ʻano o ka mālama pono ʻana i ko lākou mau ʻeha i hala, ua maopopo ka psychologist Victoria Poggio.
I ka hana noʻonoʻo noʻonoʻo, ʻo ka "keiki i loko" ka mea maʻamau i manaʻo ʻia ʻo ka ʻāpana kamaliʻi o ke ʻano me kona ʻike āpau, pinepine traumatic, me ka mea i kapa ʻia ʻo "primitive", nā mea pale mua, me nā koi, nā makemake a me nā ʻike i hele mai mai ka wā kamaliʻi. , me ke aloha i ka pāʻani a me ka hoʻomaka hoʻomaka ʻana. Eia nō naʻe, paʻa pinepine ʻia ka ʻāpana o kā mākou mau keiki, ʻoki ʻia i loko o ke ʻano o nā pāpā o loko, ʻo nā mea "ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia" a mākou i aʻo ai mai ka wā kamaliʻi.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, he hana koʻikoʻi nā pāpā he nui, no ka laʻana, e pale i ke keiki, e aʻo iā ia i ke ʻano kūpono i ke kaiāulu, a pēlā aku. Akā inā he nui nā pāpā, a ʻo ka uhai ʻana i hoʻopaʻi ʻia, inā manaʻo ke keiki ua aloha ʻia ʻo ia me ka hoʻolohe a me ka maikaʻi, ʻo ia hoʻi, inā pili ka ʻano i ka ʻano o nā mākua, hiki ke alakaʻi i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ua pāpā ʻo ia iā ia iho e ʻike i nā makemake a hōʻike iā ʻoe iho.
ʻO ke kanaka makua me ia ʻike kamaliʻi ʻaʻole manaʻo a maopopo ʻole i kāna mau makemake, hoʻokau mau iā ia iho a me kāna mau makemake i kahi hope, ʻaʻole ʻike i ka leʻaleʻa i nā mea liʻiliʻi a noho i loko o "aneʻi a i kēia manawa".
Ke mākaukau ka mea kūʻai aku e hele, hiki i ka hoʻopili ʻana me kāna ʻāpana kamaliʻi ke hoʻōla a loaʻa.
Ma ka ʻike ʻana i ke keiki i loko, hāʻawi iā ia (mai ke kūlana o ke ʻano kanaka makua) i ke kākoʻo a me ke aloha no kekahi kumu i nele ai mākou i ka wā kamaliʻi, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻōla i nā "ʻeha" i hoʻoili ʻia mai ka wā kamaliʻi a loaʻa nā kumuwaiwai i kāohi ʻia: ʻO ka spontaneity, ka noʻonoʻo, ka mālamalama, ka ʻike hou aku, ka hiki ke hoʻomanawanui i nā pilikia ...
Eia naʻe, pono e neʻe me ka akahele a me ka mālie ma kēia kahua, no ka mea, i ka wā i hala aku nei paha he pilikia, pilikia pilikia a mākou i aʻo ai e ola, i kaʻawale paha mai kā mākou «I», me he mea lā ʻaʻole i hiki mai iā mākou. (ʻO ka dissociation, a i ʻole ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana, ʻo ia wale nō kekahi o nā hana pale mua o ka psyche). He mea maikaʻi nō hoʻi e hele pū ʻia kēlā hana me kahi psychologist, ʻoiai inā ʻoe e manaʻo he ʻeha kou wā kamaliʻi, ʻaʻole paha ʻoe i mākaukau e hoʻopā.
ʻO ia ke kumu ʻaʻole wau e hāʻawi i nā mea kūʻai aku i ka hana me ke keiki i loko i ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka lāʻau lapaʻau. Pono kēia i kahi mākaukau, kūpaʻa, waiwai i loko, he mea nui e loaʻa ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana i kahi huakaʻi i kou wā kamaliʻi. Eia nō naʻe, ke mākaukau ka mea kūʻai aku no kēia hana, hiki ke hoʻopili ʻia me kāna ʻāpana kamaliʻi ke ho'ōla a loaʻa.