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Pono ke keiki e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ʻole ʻo ia e kānalua i ke aloha o kona mau mākua. Pono ka wahine e hoʻomaikaʻi ʻia - pono ʻo ia e nānā. Lohe mākou i kēia mau ʻano ʻelua o ka "ʻilihune" mai nā ala ʻike a pau. Akā, pehea nā kāne? ʻAʻohe kanaka e kamaʻilio e pili ana iā lākou. Pono lākou i ka mahanahana a me ke aloha ma mua o nā wāhine a me nā keiki. No ke aha a pehea, wahi a psychologist Elena Mkrtychan.
Ke manaʻo nei au e pono ke hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻia nā kāne. ʻAʻole i ka pane ʻana i nā hōʻailona o ka nānā ʻana, ʻaʻole no ka hana maikaʻi, ʻaʻole ma ke kumu o ka offsetting «hāʻawi ʻoe iaʻu - hāʻawi wau iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole i kēlā me kēia manawa, i nā lā hoʻomaha. ʻAʻohe kumu, i kēlā me kēia lā.
E lilo ia i mea maʻamau, e lilo ia i mea ola a me ke kumu o nā pilina i hoʻāʻo ʻole ai kekahi i kekahi no ka ikaika, akā kākoʻo iā lākou me ke aloha.
He aha ka pampering? ʻo kēia:
...e hele oe i ka berena, me ka luhi pu;
...E ala aʻe e ʻai i ka ʻiʻo inā luhi ʻoe, ʻaʻole naʻe ʻo ia, akā makemake i ka ʻiʻo;
...e haʻi aku iā ia: "He aha kaʻu e hana ai ke ʻole ʻoe?" pinepine, ʻoi aku hoʻi inā hoʻoponopono ʻo ia i ka paipa ma hope o ʻekolu mahina o ka hoʻohuli ʻana;
...waiho iā ia i ka ʻāpana keke nui loa (e hoʻomaopopo nā keiki a ʻai i nā mea a pau);
...mai hoowahawaha a mai leha;
...e hoʻomanaʻo i kāna mau makemake a e noʻonoʻo i nā mea makemake ʻole. A nui hou aku.
ʻAʻole kēia he lawelawe, ʻaʻole kuleana, ʻaʻole hōʻike lehulehu o ka haʻahaʻa, ʻaʻole hoʻoluhi. ʻO ke aloha kēia. ʻO ia ke aloha maʻamau, homely, pono no nā mea a pau.
ʻO ka mea nui, ʻo ia ke hana "no ka uku ʻole, no ka mea ʻole": me ka manaʻolana ʻole no ka hoʻolaʻa pānaʻi
Ma kēia wale nō, hoʻopaʻi nā kāne.
ʻO kēia ke ʻano o lākou:
... e hele kūʻai i nā mea kūʻai aku iā lākou iho, me ka hoʻokomo ʻole ʻana iā ʻoe i ka hōʻuluʻulu ʻana i ka papa inoa;
...e ʻōlelo lākou: "E moe, e hoʻomaha," a ʻo lākou iho e holoi i ka papahele me ka hakakā ʻole;
...i ka hoʻi ʻana i ka home kūʻai lākou i nā strawberries, ʻoi aku ka pipiʻi, akā makemake nui ʻoe;
...'Ōlelo lākou: "ʻAe, e lawe," e pili ana i kahiʻaʻahuʻili hipa iʻoi aku ke kumukūʻai ma mua o ka hiki iāʻoe ke loaʻa i kēia manawa;
...e hoʻomaopopo i nā keiki e waiho ʻia ka peach ʻoi loa na ka makuahine.
A ʻoi aku…
ʻŌlelo no nā keiki. Inā ʻaʻole i hao wale nā mākua i nā keiki, akā kekahi i kekahi, a laila, i ke oʻo ʻana, hoʻokomo nā keiki i kēia ʻōnaehana i ko lākou ʻohana. ʻOiaʻiʻo, aia lākou i ka hapa liʻiliʻi, akā pono e hoʻomaka kēia kuʻuna ʻohana me kekahi. Malia paha me ʻoe?
Mai hana i ka mohai. Paʻakikī ʻo ia e ʻeli
Ke hāʻawi wau i kēia ʻōlelo aʻo i nā wahine, lohe pinepine au: "ʻAʻole lawa anei kaʻu hana iā ia? Hoʻomaʻa wau, hoʻomaʻemaʻe wau, hoʻomaʻemaʻe wau. Nā mea a pau iā ia! ”… No laila, ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō. Inā, i ka wā e hana ai i nā mea a pau, e noʻonoʻo mau ʻoe iā ia, a hoʻomanaʻo hoʻi iā ia, ʻaʻole kēia he ʻano maikaʻi loa e like me ka "hana o ka lawelawe" a me ka mōhai. ʻO wai ka mea e pono ai ka mōhai? ʻAʻohe kanaka. ʻAʻole hiki ke ʻae ʻia.
ʻO ke ala pōkole loa i kahi hopena make he mau ʻōlelo hōʻino, kahi e paʻakikī wale ai no kēlā me kēia
Nīnau koke ka mea i hoʻopiʻi ʻia no ka instinctive: "Ua nīnau au iā ʻoe?", A i ʻole: "He aha kāu i noʻonoʻo ai i kou male ʻana?". ʻO kēlā me kēia ala, hoʻopau ʻoe i kahi hopena make. ʻO ka nui o kāu mōhai, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka hewa āu e kaumaha ai i ke kanaka. ʻOiai ʻoe e noho mālie, akā manaʻo ʻoe: "ʻO wau nā mea āpau iā ia, akā ʻo ia, ʻo ia a me kēlā, ʻaʻole mahalo ia." ʻO ke ala pōkole loa i kahi hopena make, ʻo ia ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa, ʻo ia wale nō ka mea paʻakikī.
ʻO ka pōʻino ke ʻano maikaʻi
Kū'ē i ka manaʻo nui,ʻaʻole hiki ke koi ke aloha. ʻOiai he nui ka poʻe e noʻonoʻo nei ʻo ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa i kahi mea aloha (keiki a i ʻole hoa) e aʻo iā ia ʻaʻole e hoʻomaha a mākaukau no kekahi mea: "ʻAʻole kākou e hoʻokau i ʻole e like ke ola me ka meli." A i kēia manawa me he kahua kaua lā ka male!
I loko o kā mākou noʻonoʻo - ka mākaukau mau loa no ka pilikia, no ka mea ʻino loa, e kū mai ana ma hope "inā he kaua ʻapōpō." No laila ke ʻano ʻino, e ulu ana i ke kaumaha, ka hopohopo, ka makaʻu, ka neurosis, ka maʻi ... ʻO ka manawa kēia e hoʻomaka ai e hoʻokō i kēia. ʻO ka manawa kēia e hoʻōki ai i ka makaʻu e hao.
No ka mea, aia kekahi ʻaoʻao: hilinaʻi. ʻO ke kanaka i mālama ʻia e hoʻomau ʻia e ke ola ponoʻī! ʻO ka mea lokomaikaʻi ʻaʻole ia he ʻawaʻawa a hoʻopaʻapaʻa. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i manaʻo he ʻenemi a manaʻo ʻole paha i nā mea a pau āna e hālāwai ai, he lokomaikaʻi ʻo ia, hāmama i ka kamaʻilio a me ka hauʻoli, a ʻike ʻo ia i ka hāʻawi ʻana. ʻO kēlā kāne a keiki paha kahi e huki ai i ke aloha, ka lokomaikaʻi, ke ʻano maikaʻi. A he mea maʻamau ia e ʻike pehea e hoʻonohonoho ai i nā mea kupanaha no nā hoaaloha, kākoʻo i nā hoa hana.
ʻO ka pampering ʻo ia hoʻi ka hōʻike ʻana i ke aloha
No kekahi, he kālena maoli kēia - e lawe i ke aloha a me ka hoʻolauleʻa i loko o ka hale, aʻo kekahi i kēia i ka wā kamaliʻi - ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike i ka mea ʻokoʻa. ʻAʻole naʻe i hao ʻia nā mea a pau o ka ʻohana. A inā he kanaka ʻoʻoleʻa me nā hōʻailona o ka nānā, mālama, aloha, a laila ʻaʻole paha i aʻo ʻia ʻo ia e hāʻawi. Aʻo ia hoʻi, mālama ka wahine aloha i kēia, me ka hāʻuleʻole i ka lisping aʻaʻole hoʻokani i ka hana o ka makuahine.
No ka hana ʻana i kēia, pono ʻo ia e kāpae i ka stereotype "inā ʻoe e hao iā ia, e noho ʻo ia ma kona ʻāʻī" a hoʻomaopopo i ke ʻano o ka mahalo, hōʻike i ka hoihoi i kāna mau hana, nā manaʻo, mālama, pane. E holo i kēia algorithm mālama. A inā ʻaʻole kūpono, e nīnau iā ʻoe iho i ka nīnau: "Inā ʻaʻole wau, a laila ʻo wai?" ʻAʻole makemake nā hoaaloha, nā limahana, nā ʻohana e hoʻopau i nā nāwaliwali o ke kāne.
Pono e hana i kēia ʻaʻole no ka mea he keiki nui ʻo ia, akā no ka mea he poʻe mākua mākou a pau, a ʻaʻohe mea hopohopo e pili ana i ka mea makemake e mālama iā mākou. A ua ʻike lōʻihi ka poʻe psychologists a me nā hoa pili i ke ola ʻohana hauʻoli ʻo ka pampering ʻo ia ka hōʻike ʻana i ke aloha.
ʻIke wau ʻo ke ola ponoʻī e aʻo i ke kanaka e mākaukau no nā mea āpau. ʻO ka hiki ke huki iā ʻoe iho i ka manawa kūpono ma mua o ka hoʻopaʻa mau ʻana iā ʻoe iho i ka lima he mākaukau pono kaʻawale. E like me ka hiki ke hoʻomaha.
ʻO ke kālā a me nā makana ka ʻōlelo aloha
Ke kamaʻilio wau e pili ana i kēia i kahi wahine ma ka hoʻokipa, lilo pinepine ia i mea hōʻike nona. ʻAʻole maopopo iā ia kahi e hoʻomaka ai. A ke ʻōlelo nei au: hāʻawi makana! Hoʻolilo kālā! Mai noʻonoʻo kākou ʻaʻole pili ke kālā i kāu pilina. ʻOiai ʻaʻole lākou e pāʻani, ʻo ia nō. A laila e pāʻani lākou, ʻaʻole ia he mea hilahila. Akā inā makemake ʻoe i ke kālā ʻaʻole iā ia iho, akā i mea e hōʻoluʻolu ai i kāu mea aloha.
ʻAʻole kānalua nā keiki a me nā wahine i ke aloha ke mālama ʻole ʻia ke kālā ma luna o lākou. ʻO nā kāne pū kekahi. ʻAʻole wale i ka hihia ke ho'āʻo nei ke kālā e hoʻopiha i ka hakahaka i loko o ka pilina a me nā mea pāʻani pipiʻi a me nā souvenir liʻiliʻi e hōʻike ʻia ma mua o ke aloha. ʻAʻole, ʻaʻole pēlā, akā i mea hoʻomanaʻo: Aia wau ma ʻaneʻi, hoʻomanaʻo mau wau, aloha wau iā ʻoe ...
No laila, hauʻoli kēlā kāne i ka hana mau a me ka maʻalahi o nā makana, a i ʻole no ke kumu maikaʻi e like me "Ua makemake wau e ʻoluʻolu iā ʻoe." Inā 'oe i pampering i kou hoa a pau makahiki, a laila ma ka Eve o ka lā hoʻomaha, ina paha ia he lā hānau a Defender o ka Fatherland Day, 'aʻole hiki iāʻoe ke kānana, mai holo no ka obligatory makana e like me ka hou halepaku wai. E hoʻomaopopo ʻo ia.