PSYchology

ʻO ka hōʻailona maikaʻi loa ʻoe i kahi pilina maikaʻi ʻaʻole ʻoe e haʻi i ka pūnaewele holoʻokoʻa e pili ana iā ia. Ua kapa ʻia nā mea lapaʻau ʻohana he 10 mau hana koʻikoʻi e hoʻonāukiuki i nā hoaaloha ma ka pāhana kaiapili a hiki ke hōʻeha i kāu hui.

Ke nānā nei nā poʻe ʻē aʻe iā ʻoe, ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki a me ke koʻikoʻi o ke ola. Makemake au e hoʻohui i nā kikoʻī hou aʻe a kaʻana like me ka mea nānā mahalo. I kēia manawa wale nō ka mea nānā, e noho ana i ka pōʻeleʻele o ke keʻena, ʻaʻole ʻike ʻia e mākou a i kekahi manawa poina iā ia. Ke hoʻopoina nei mākou i kahi e waiho ai nā palena ma waena o ka pilina pili, ko mākou hauʻoli pilikino a me nā mea a nā malihini mai ka poʻe i loaʻa i kahi kamepiula a i ʻole kelepona e aʻo ai e pili ana iā mākou a me kā mākou hoa.

1. Nā leka hoʻopā e pili ana i kahi hoa

Ua kamaʻāina mākou a pau i kēlā mau kāne: e like me nā manu ʻelua i kūkulu i ka pūnana no lākou iho a kauo i loko o kahi lau mauʻu a i ʻole ke kaula, no laila e hoʻonani aloha lākou i kā lākou ʻaoʻao me nā puʻuwai a me nā mele. ʻO kēia ka poʻe e pono e kau i kahi kiʻi ma Facebook (kahi hui extremist i pāpā ʻia ma Rusia) i ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka lā me ka caption "Aloha wau iā ʻoe. Ke kali nei au». E loaʻa i nā hoaaloha a pau i ka wela o ke kakahiaka i kāu nūhou, e hele i kāu ʻaoʻao a hoʻopā ʻia. E ʻalawa aʻe paha kekahi poʻe i ka lani.

Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Psychotherapist Marcia Berger, ʻo nā kāne e hōʻike mau ana e pili ana i ko lākou ola, e hoʻoholo ana i kāna ʻike aʻoaʻo, ʻaʻohe pilina maikaʻi loa, akā hoʻomau pinepine lākou e hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā lākou iho a me nā mea ʻē aʻe.

2. Paʻi ʻia nā kiʻi me ka ʻae ʻole

No ka laʻana, he kiʻi mai ka pāʻina i nehinei kahi i hana ai kāu hoaaloha i nā maka "pupule". E hoʻolohe i ka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a Seth Meyers psychologist, nāna i kākau i ka puke How to Overcome Relationship Rehearsal Syndrome and Find Love. E nīnau koke i kāu hoa i ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina i kona manaʻo e pili ana iā ʻoe e kau ana i kāna mau kiʻi ma kāu ʻaoʻao.

Malia paha ua hiki i ke kanaka ke hana i kahi kiʻi koʻikoʻi ma kāna ʻaoʻao - heihei, hele wāwae, ʻaʻohe mea ʻē aʻe. A laila hoʻouna ʻoe iā ia me kahi pōpoki ma kou mau lima ... A i ʻole kāna kiʻi o ka "ke aliʻi o ka waina a me ka vodka aupuni" pops up inopportunely i ka wā e noi ana i kahi hana.

3. He ʻakaʻaka e pili ana i kāna mau hana hoʻokele waiwai a hāʻule ʻole

ʻO kāna sopa meaʻai mua a i ʻole nā ​​maka makaʻu i ka ʻike ʻana i kahi kupapaʻu moa. No nā hoaaloha a no ʻoukou, he mau hoʻomanaʻo poina ʻole kēia. Mai poina ʻaʻole makemake wale kāu mau hoaaloha i nā ʻoihana pūnaewele.

Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e kau i ka palena o ka nānā ʻana, ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ka nui o nā mea hoʻohana e heluhelu i kahi pou, wahi a Aaron Anderson, he mea lapaʻau ʻohana ma ke keʻena ma Denver. ʻO nā kiʻi me kahi kāloti ma kona lima a me ka caption "Ua hoʻouna ʻia ka papahana no ka hoʻoponopono hou ʻana" a i ʻole kāu haʻaheo "I ko mākou hale, ʻaʻole holoi nā wahine i nā kīʻaha" i loaʻa i kāna mau hoa hana a me nā hoa hana, a e hoʻopau i nā malihini.

4. Hōʻike ola mai ke kahua

Ua hana hewa ʻo ia i nehinei. I ke kakahiaka ua waiho ʻoe i kahi leka ma kāna pā e haʻi ana i nā mea a pau i kahi āna i moe ai i ka pō. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ka intuition, deductive hiki, a ua huki ʻoe i nā hopena logical unambiguous.

ʻO Brenda Della Casa, he loea pili, hoʻomanaʻo iā ʻoe i ʻelua mau mea: ʻo ka mua, ke holo kiʻekiʻe nei kou mau manaʻo i kēia manawa, a ma kēia mokuʻāina ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka haʻalele ʻana i nā leka i kākau ʻia. ʻO ka lua, mai poina ʻoe ke hana nei ʻoe i kahi ʻōlelo lehulehu i kēia manawa. Ke hoʻomaikaʻi nei nō, kali wale.

5. Nā leka e pili ana i nā ʻano pilikino o kahi hoa

A me nā moʻolelo kiʻi mai ka hale kūʻai mai kahi āu i kūʻai ai iā ia i nā pajamas hou a me nā lole lole silika no ka lumi moe.

6. Nā manaʻo no kāna leka ʻana me ka mea mua

ʻAe, ʻo kēia ka ʻoiaʻiʻo - nui ka poʻe e hoʻomau nei e kamaʻilio ma ka ʻoihana pūnaewele me ka mea mua, no ka mea, noho mau lākou i mau hoaaloha me lākou. I kēlā me kēia lā ke aʻo nei lākou i nā nūhou mai ko lākou ola ʻana a i kekahi manawa komo i nā leka. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e makemake. Akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kūkākūkā kino ʻana i ia mau pilikia, wahi a ka loea pili ʻo Neely Steinberg. Inā hōʻike ʻoe a haʻalele i kāu ʻōlelo snarky, ʻino ia iā ʻoe, e like me ka huhū passive ʻaʻole hiki ke loaʻa kahi puka.

7. Nā kikoʻī o nā hakakā a me nā hōʻike

ʻO Res e pili ana i nā hakakā, a laila hoʻololi koke ʻoe i ke kūlana i "hoʻokahi hoʻokahi" a i ʻole e wehe iā ia mai nā hoaaloha. Manaʻo ka mea lapaʻau ʻohana ʻo Christine Wilke e mālama i ia mau mea ma hope o nā puka lumi moe a ʻaʻole wikiwiki e hoʻolilo iā lākou i waiwai maʻamau. "Ke hoʻokuʻu ʻoe i ka pōpoki i waho o ka ʻeke, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻihoʻi i loko."

8. Nui loa ka ʻike

He maikaʻi nā manaʻo pili i nā leka pilikino. E ʻoluʻolu ʻia kāu hoa ma ka heluhelu ʻana ma kāna pā: "Ke ʻā nei au me ka makemake, e hele koke mai." A ʻo kāna poʻe haʻahaʻa a i ʻole ke kumu aʻo o kāu keiki e pīhoihoi ...

9. ʻO nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maʻalahi e hoʻomaopopo nā kānaka a pau

Heluhelu ʻoe i kahi ʻatikala hoihoi ma ka Pūnaewele - e ʻōlelo, e pili ana i nā ʻano he ʻumi o kahi makuahōnōwai wahine weliweli - a paʻi i kahi loulou iā ia a hoʻouna paha i nā hoaaloha me ka ʻōlelo "Hoʻomanaʻo kēia iaʻu i kekahi ..." ʻOiai ma mua o kēlā. kaohi ʻia ʻana i ka ʻaoʻao o kou makuahōnōwai wahine, ʻo ka ʻike a pau e loaʻa i nā ala hoʻolaha ...

10. Hoʻomanaʻo e kūʻai i ka waiū

He mea paahana maikaʻi loa ka pāpili kaiaulu e hui pū ai i ka poʻe hoihoi i nā mea like, e kaʻana koke i nā nūhou koʻikoʻi, a i ʻole e ʻohi kālā no ke kōkua. A no ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i ke kūʻai ʻana i ka waiū, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kelepona. E waiho iā ʻoe iho i wahi pilikino e kamaʻilio ai.

Waiho i ka Reply