9 Nā hōʻailona ʻaʻole kūpono kāu hoa iā ʻoe

ʻO ka pinepine, pili ʻole a maikaʻi ʻole ka pilina me kahi hoa pili me nā mea i ʻike ʻia i loko o kou ʻohana. A ma ʻaneʻi nā pilikia e pili ana i ka pili ʻana, nā palena pilikino, ka manaʻo ponoʻī, ka hilinaʻi ʻana i kekahi, ka hilinaʻi ʻole, a me ka makemake e hoʻomanawanui i ka hoʻomāinoino kino a i ʻole ka manaʻo.

I ka mea i koho ʻia, ʻaʻole mākou e ʻoluʻolu e kāna mau ʻano, ʻoluʻolu pinepine ʻole, akā ma ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ua ʻike mua ka dynamics holoʻokoʻa o ka pilina. Me he mea lā hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomalu i nā mea a mākou i ʻike mua ai, e kūʻē i ka mea hou, he mea weliweli. Inā hana maikaʻi kekahi iā mākou, hoʻomaka mākou e manaʻo i kahi hoʻopunipuni lepo, pehea inā e hoʻopunipuni ʻo ia a kokoke e hōʻike i kona helehelena maoli? Ke ho'āʻo nei ka lolo e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka ʻike koke ʻana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.

Inā ua hoʻokomo mua mākou i ka dynamics o nā pilina maikaʻi ʻole, a laila ua aʻo mākou e pāʻani i kēia mau lula. Inā hoʻomalu nui kekahi iā mākou, hoʻomaka mākou e hana i ka passive-agressively. Me ke kanaka lokoino a me ka huhū, "hele mākou ma ka tiptoe" i ʻole e hoʻonāukiuki. Inā lōʻihi ka manaʻo o ka hoa, ʻike mākou pehea e hoʻopaʻa ai iā ia iā mākou, e hōʻike ana i ko mākou hewa a pono mākou i ke kōkua i nā manawa āpau. He mea maʻamau kēia mau ʻano a pau no ka mea ua kamaʻāina lākou.

ʻOi aku ka hewa o ka pilina pili ʻole ma mua o ka pili ʻole. Hoʻopau lākou i ka ikehu i hiki iā mākou ke hoʻolilo no ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana iā mākou iho. Hoʻopau lākou i ke ola kaiaulu, pili i ke olakino a paʻakikī i ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa hana i mea e kūkulu ai i nā pilina olakino.

Eia ʻO nā hōʻailona 9 ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole ʻo ka hoa pili ka mea pono e mālama i kahi pilina:

1. Hōʻino ʻo ia iā ʻoe, hōʻeha a hoʻohaʻahaʻa paha iā ʻoe me nā ʻōlelo. ʻOiai inā e kala mai ʻo ia, mai hoʻopunipuni ʻoe, ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia kēlā ʻano hana.
2. He pōʻino a huhū paha ka hoa. Ke hoʻoweliweli nei ʻo ia e hana ʻino iā ʻoe a iā ia iho inā haʻalele ʻoe iā ia? Paʻa ʻia ʻoe, ʻo ka manawa kēia e hoʻopau ai i ka pilina.
3. Ma ke ʻano he "hoʻopaʻi" no nā hana hewa liʻiliʻi, hoʻomaka ʻo ia e haʻalele iā ʻoe a mālama iā ʻoe me ke anuanu loa. ʻO kēia ka manipulation.
4. Hoʻohewa ka hoa iā ʻoe, hoʻōho, ʻae iā ia iho e paʻi, paʻi, paʻi.
5. Nalo koke ʻo ia no kekahi manawa me ka wehewehe ʻole.
6. ʻAe ʻo ia iā ia iho i ka ʻano i hōʻike ʻia ma luna, akā hoʻopiʻi iā ʻoe a i ʻole nā ​​hoa hana mua no ka hopena kūleʻa o ka pilina.
7. Huna ka hoa i ka ʻike e pili ana i kona ola iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻoe i komo i ka hoʻoholo ʻana, ka pili kālā a me ka ʻohana o ka hoa.
8. He mea ole kou manao. Hōʻole koke ka hoa i nā noi.
9. ʻAʻole ʻoe e komo i kona ola kaiaulu, kamaʻilio wale ʻo ia me kāna mau hoaaloha. Ua waiho wale ʻia ʻoe, akā pono ʻoe e kuke, holoi, mālama keiki a hana i nā hana ʻē aʻe. Manaʻo ʻoe e like me ke kauā me ka uku ʻole.

Inā ʻike ʻoe i kekahi o nā mea i luna ma kahi pilina, ʻo ia ka manawa e haʻalele ai. Pono ʻoe i kahi ola pōmaikaʻi a hauʻoli me kahi kanaka e aloha a mālama iā ʻoe.

ʻO ka poʻe i loko o ka pilina kūleʻa a loaʻa kahi "hui kākoʻo" o nā hoaaloha a me nā mea aloha e ola lōʻihi a loaʻa ka maʻi ma mua o ka poʻe hoʻokahi a i ʻole e mālama i nā pilina dysfunctional. Ke alakaʻi nei lākou i ka mehameha, a me ka hopohopo, ke kaumaha, ka huhū mau, ka hiki ʻole ke noʻonoʻo, a me nā pilikia ʻē aʻe. ʻO ke ala wale nō e hoʻopau ai i kēia mau hōʻailona ʻo ka hemo ʻana mai ka hohonu o ka negativity mau.

E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Audrey Sherman kahi lāʻau lapaʻau ʻohana.