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Hiki i ka huhū ke hoʻopau i nā pilina ikaika loa. Akā hūnā pinepine kēia ʻike i nā manaʻo a me nā pono ʻē aʻe. Pehea e ʻike ai iā lākou a pehea e kōkua ai i kahi mea aloha i hōʻeha pinepine ʻia, wahi a Elena Tukhareli psychologist.
"E kākau i nā ʻōhumu ma ke one, e kālai i nā hana maikaʻi ma ke kinikini," wahi a ka haku mele Farani ʻo Pierre Boiste. Akā, he mea maʻalahi loa ka hahai ʻana? ʻO keʻano o ko mākou manaʻo e pili ana i ka huhū e pili ana i ko mākou nānāʻana i ke ao nei, ma ka manaʻo pono'ī, ka heleʻana o nā paʻakikī a me nā manaʻo wahaheʻe, a me nā pilina me nā mea'ē aʻe.
ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻopau loa i ka huhū mai ko mākou ola, he ʻāpana lākou o kā mākou mau manaʻo waiwai. Akā hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaopopo iā lākou, hana ma o lākou a hoʻohana iā lākou ma ke ʻano he "kick magic" no ka ʻike a hoʻomohala iā ʻoe iho.
ʻO ka hewa a me ka hōʻeha, aʻo mākou e ʻike, kūkulu a pale i nā palena o nā mea i ʻae ʻia. No laila, hoʻomaka mākou e ʻike i ka mea e ʻae ʻia i ka ʻano o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe iā mākou, a me nā mea i ʻae ʻole ʻia.
ʻO wai ka mea "ʻeha"
Hana ʻia ka huhū e like me ke ʻano o ke kukui: hōʻike ia i kahi e "ʻeha" ai ke kanaka, e hōʻike ana i kona mau makaʻu, nā ʻano, nā manaʻolana, nā paʻakikī. Loaʻa iā mākou ka ʻike he nui e pili ana iā mākou iho a e pili ana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ke ʻike mākou i ka mea e pane ʻoi aku i ka mea, ka mea i hōʻeha ʻia e ka mea.
ʻAʻole maikaʻi ka manaʻo, akā diagnostic. I loko o ke kaiāulu, pili ka pāpā ʻana i nā manaʻo "ʻino" ikaika, a ʻaʻole hoʻokipa ʻia kā lākou hōʻike ʻana ma o ka huhū - e hoʻomanaʻo i ka ʻōlelo ʻōlelo e pili ana i ka mea ʻino a me ka wai. No laila, lilo ka manaʻo i ka mea ʻino.
Hiki i ka huhū ke huhū iā mākou. A ʻo ia hoʻi, hāʻawi i ka ikaika e pale i kona mau palena a ʻimi i ka pono. Eia nō naʻe, he mea nui e hana mākou ma ke ʻano e pili ana i ke kaiapuni, e hoʻomalu i nā hōʻike o ka huhū - inā e hoʻokau nā manaʻo, e hoʻopiha piha ʻia kēia manaʻo iā mākou, a lilo ke kūlana i waho.
He aha kāu e hana ai inā huhū pinepine ʻoe i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe
- Hana me nā manaʻolana kūpono ʻole. Manaʻo pinepine mākou i nā mea ʻē aʻe e hana i ka mea kūpono iā mākou. ʻO ka manawa pinepine kēia mau makemake āpau i loko o ko mākou poʻo wale nō: ʻaʻole mākou e kaʻana iā lākou, ʻaʻole mākou e kapa iā lākou he mea nui. A no laila, lilo kā mākou kamaʻilio ʻana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i "pāʻani koho". ʻO kahi laʻana, manaʻo ke kaikamahine e hōʻike mau ke kāne i kahi lā me kahi pua, akā lawe wale ia a ʻaʻole kamaʻilio e pili ana. I kekahi lā maikaʻi, hele mai ʻo ia me ka pua ʻole, ʻaʻole kūpono kāna mau manaʻo - ua kū mai ka huhū.
- Pono ʻoe e aʻo e kamaʻilio ākea e pili ana i nā mea nui iā ʻoe, e kūkākūkā me kahi hoa, nā hoaaloha, nā ʻohana. ʻO ka nui o nā haʻalele, ʻoi aku ka nui o nā kumu e hōʻeha ai.
- E ho'āʻo e hoʻomaopopo i keʻano o ka hemahema i uhiʻia e ka huhū i kēia manawa, no ka mea, pinepine kekahi mau pono i hoʻokōʻoleʻia e "huna" ma hope. No ka laʻana, ua ʻeha kekahi makuahine ʻelemakule i kāna kaikamahine a ʻaʻole ʻo ia e kelepona. Akā, ma hope o kēia huhū aia ka pono no nā pilina pilikanaka, kahi i nele ai ka makuahine ma muli o ka hoʻomaha. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopiha i kēia pono ma nā ʻano ʻē aʻe: kōkua i ka makuahine e ʻimi i nā hana a me nā kamaʻāina hou i loko o ke kaiapuni i hoʻololi ʻia. A e pau ana paha ka inaina i ke kaikamahine.
He aha kāu e hana ai inā hōʻeha pinepine ka mea aloha iā ʻoe?
- E hoʻomaka me ka mālie, ākea, me ka wela ʻole o ke kuko, e hoʻāʻo e wehewehe i kou manaʻo a ʻike i kēia kūlana. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hoʻohana ʻana i "I-statements", ʻo ia hoʻi, e kamaʻilio ma kou inoa ponoʻī, me ka ʻole o ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana, ka loiloi ʻana i kahi hoa a me ka lepili. E kamaʻilio e pili ana i kou mau manaʻo, ʻaʻole nona. No ka laʻana, ma kahi o: "Ke hoʻihoʻi mau nei ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e like me ka hiki ..." - hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo: "Hūhū wau i ka wā e huki ai au i nā huaʻōlelo mai ou aku", "ʻino wau ke kali lōʻihi wau i kēlā me kēia manawa. hoʻomaka hou ʻoe e kamaʻilio me aʻu… «.
- E noʻonoʻo: he aha ke ʻano o kāna hewa iā ʻoe? No ke aha ʻoe e hana ai pēlā? He aha ka mea e hāʻawi ai iā ʻoe i kēlā ʻano pane i nā ʻōhumu? Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole mākou e pane wale i ka naʻau i kekahi ʻano, nā ʻōlelo a nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai ʻaʻole ʻike pono i ke koena.
- Inā hoʻomau mau ʻia ke kūlana me ka huhū, e ʻike i ka mea e pono ai ke kanaka e hoʻāʻo nei e ʻoluʻolu ma kēia ʻano. ʻO ka manawa pinepine, nele ka poʻe i ka nānā, ka ʻike, ka launa pū ʻana. Inā loaʻa i ka hoa ka manawa kūpono e pani i kēia mau pono ma nā ʻano ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole pili ka huhū. E ho'āʻo e noʻonoʻo pū pehea e hoʻokō ai i kēia.
- E ʻae he ʻokoʻa ko ʻolua a me ke kanaka i nā kūlana ʻeha. ʻO ka mea i manaʻo maʻamau iā ʻoe he mea hoʻowahāwahā i kekahi. Loaʻa i kēlā me kēia o mākou ko mākou manaʻo ponoʻī e pili ana i nā palena o nā mea i ʻae ʻia a me nā loina pono. Ua ʻike paha ʻoe i kekahi mau kumuhana ʻehaʻeha no kēia kanaka āu e hoʻopā ʻole ai i mua ona.
- E kamaʻilio a kamaʻilio hou. E ʻike pehea ʻo ia e ʻike ai i ke kūlana - ua hala paha ʻoe i kekahi mea. I kēlā me kēia hihia, ʻaʻole hiki i kāu mau manaʻo a me kou mau manaʻo ke hui pū me 100%.
Ma keʻano he kūlana, inā makemakeʻoe, hiki iāʻoe ke loaʻa kahi manawa e kamaʻilio ākea ai, akā i ka manawa likeʻole e hōʻeha i nā manaʻo o ke kanaka a wehewehe i kou nānāʻana i ka mea i hanaʻia. ʻO ka wehewehe ʻana i ke kūlana ʻaʻole ia he kalahala a me ka ʻae ʻana i ka hewa. E pili ana i ke kūkākūkā, ka launa pū ʻana, e pili ana i ka hilinaʻi a me ka ʻimi ʻana i ka hopena e māʻona ai nā mea ʻelua.