Contents
E nā hoaaloha, ke hoʻomau nei au i ka lawe ʻana i kou manaʻo i kahi hoʻoponopono hoʻohālikelike o nā nīnau - ma ke ʻano o ke ala Synton a me ke ʻano o nā kula psychological ʻē aʻe.
Question:
"Ua loaʻa iaʻu nā pilikia nui me nā kāne. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke kūkulu i nā pilina, ua haki lākou i ka pae o ka paʻa. Ua hana wau me kahi psychoanalyst, ua hōʻike ʻo ia i koʻu mau makaʻu mai ka wā kamaliʻi. Ua hana au me lākou e like me ke ʻano o Sinelnikov. A me he mea la ua puka mai ke kanaka ma ka lewa, i ka nana mua ana, maikai loa. Aloha lāua, male koke. He mea weliweli a hauʻoli ka makahiki mua o ke ola. Ua hauʻoli loa au.
A laila hānau ʻia kahi keiki. Hoʻomaka liʻiliʻi ke kāne kāne a pōʻino loa. Ua hoʻomaka ʻo ia e hana i nā mea āpau e hōʻino iaʻu, ka mea aʻu i makemake ʻole ai. ʻO ke kumu, hoʻomaka ia ma hope o koʻu hoʻomaka ʻana e hoʻololi i ke kiʻi. Wai kou lauoho, ʻoki i kou lauoho.
A ua hoʻomaka wau e hoʻololi i koʻu kiʻi no ka mea, ma muli o ka hāpai ʻana a ma hope o ka hānau ʻana, ua hala maikaʻi wau, ua ulu au a ʻoi aku ka ʻino, makemake wau e hoʻomaʻemaʻe.
I ka hopena, ua haʻalele loa ʻo ia, ua hoʻopau maikaʻi ʻia ka ʻuhane. A ho'āʻo wau e hoʻi, ʻaʻole makemake wau iaʻu iho.
Pehea kou manaʻo, ʻo ia ke kumu o ka ʻohana haʻihaʻi a i ʻole wau? Ua hana hewa anei au?
ʻO ka pane a kahi ʻelele o kekahi o nā kula psychological:
Eha nui ke pau ka manaolana. Ke manaʻoʻiʻo ʻoe i ka moʻolelo moʻolelo, he hana mana. A me he mea lā ua hiki mua ia (ma hope o nā mea a pau, he makahiki ia o ke ola weliweli). Eia naʻe, hiki mai kekahi mea… a lilo ʻo Prince Charming i mea ʻino ʻino.
He mea paʻakikī loa iaʻu ke pane aku i kāu nīnau - ʻo wai ka hewa no kēia kūlana.
He mea maikaʻi i hiki iā ʻoe ke male a loaʻa kahi pēpē. He makana ia mai ke ola, mai ke Akua mai, mai kāu kāne.
Eia naʻe, ʻike wau i ka manawa like i lawe mai ai ke keiki i ka hakakā i loko o kou ola. Ua hoʻopau pū ʻo ia i kahi makahiki hauʻoli. Ua lilo ʻoe i momona a ʻino. A pono ʻoe e hoʻololi i kāu kiʻi ma muli o kēia. A pehea ʻoe e hoʻohui ai ʻo ia ke kiʻi i hōʻino i ka manaʻo o kāu kāne iā ʻoe.
Hoʻololi ke keiki i ko mākou ola. Mau loa… Hoʻololi ke keiki i ko mākou kino. a mau loa aku
A ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, pāpā ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e noʻonoʻo ʻo ia me ka hiki ʻana mai o ke keiki ua hewa nā mea a pau.
Ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, pono ke nānā pono ʻia.
ʻO ka mea pōʻino, e like me nā helu, hoʻokaʻawale nā ʻohana ʻōpio i ka makahiki mua ma hope o ka hānau ʻana o kahi keiki.
No ka mea, hāpai ke keiki i ka nui o nā manaʻo, nā manaʻo, nā ʻike. ʻO kā mākou mau ʻike ponoʻī i kēia makahiki. ʻOiai ʻaʻole mākou e hoʻomanaʻo i kēia mau ʻike, hoʻomanaʻo ko mākou kino. A hana ko mākou kino e like me ka wā kamaliʻi hohonu.
A lilo nā makuahine maikaʻi i mau maka. A lilo nā makua kāne maikaʻi i mau moʻo ʻino ʻino i loko o ka ʻuhane. No ka mea i kekahi manawa, ʻo ia ka hana a kona makuakāne me kona makuahine. A ua makemake paha ʻo ia e hana ʻokoʻa. ʻAʻole paha…
ʻAʻole hewa ke keiki no kekahi mea, ua ʻike wale ʻia ʻo ia
Me ka ʻike ʻole, i loko o ʻoe e hoʻopiʻi iā ia no ka hopena o kou hauʻoli. Mai hana, mai hana.
E noʻonoʻo i ka ʻae ʻana iā ʻoe iho he mea hou, ʻokoʻa. E ʻike i kāu kāne i kahi keikikāne makaʻu ʻole i ʻike ʻole i ka mea e hana ai i ia mau kūlana, no laila "huhū" wale ʻo ia a holo.
E ʻike i kāu keiki he makana no Destiny, he makana mai ke Akua. Ua hele mai ʻo ia i kēia ao e hoʻoponopono i nā pilikia o kou wā kamaliʻi. A e hāʻawi mai iā ʻoe i ka hauʻoli a me ka hauʻoli. E hōʻoiaʻiʻo.
Me ka hilinaʻi i kou hauʻoli, SM, analytical psychologist.
ʻO wau, ma ke ʻano he ʻelele (makaainana) o ka synton approach in practical psychology, e pane ʻokoʻa.
ʻO ke kumu o ka hāʻule ʻana o ka ʻohana, ʻo ia ʻelua mau kānaka, ʻo ʻoe a me kāu kāne, e kali ana i kou ʻohana, a me nā pilina maikaʻi i loko o ka ʻohana, e hoʻokō pono i nā mea āpau. ʻAʻole naʻe pēlā. ʻO kahiʻohana ikaika a hauʻoli, ma keʻano he papahana hui, ua hoʻokumuʻia e nā poʻe e noʻonoʻo a mākaukau e hana i nā pilina. ʻO ia: pono ʻoe e ʻike i nā ʻano o kēlā me kēia (ʻaʻole hāʻawi ke aloha iā ia iho), pono ʻoe e kūkākūkā, e hele i kekahi i kekahi, e hoʻololi iā ʻoe iho i kekahi ala. ʻAʻohe mea paʻakikī loa e pili ana i ia mea, akā he hana ia: e hana i ʻohana. Me he mea lā ʻaʻole ʻoe a me kāu kāne i mākaukau no kēia hana. He mea maʻamau kēia: ʻaʻole ʻoe i aʻo ʻia, no laila ua hāʻule ʻoe. ʻO kēia ke kumu nui: i kou mākaukau ʻole.
He aha ka hana? aʻo. ʻAʻole paʻakikī loa. ʻO ka mea mua loa a maʻalahi hoʻi, ʻo ia ke kūkākūkā ʻana i ka Nīnau Agreement ʻohana ma ka hoʻomaka ʻana o kou ola pū. E kōkua kēia iā ʻoe e "ʻike" i kāu papahana e hiki mai ana, i kou ola e hiki mai ana, kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike i nā hiʻohiʻona a me nā manaʻo o kēlā me kēia, a hoʻomaka e aʻo iā ʻoe pehea e kūkākūkā ai.
Hiki ke kūkākūkā ʻia kēia mau pilikia a pau, a me ka pōkole, ma ke ala, me he mea lā ma ke ala: no ka laʻana, i nā kamaʻilio maʻamau i nā lā, me he mea lā ma waho o ka hoihoi, e nānā ana i kekahi kumuhana koʻikoʻi no ka noho pū ʻana. I kekahi lā ua kamaʻilio lākou e pili ana i kona mau mākua, pehea kāna hana ʻana iā lākou, i kekahi lā - e pili ana i ke kālā, pehea ʻo ia e manaʻo ai ʻo wai ka mea e loaʻa iā ia i loko o ka ʻohana, pehea ka nui, a me ka waihona kālā ʻohana nui a ʻokoʻa paha. I ka lā aʻe i kamaʻilio ai lākou e pili ana i nā keiki - pehea ka manaʻo o kāu ʻōpio iā lākou, ehia mau keiki āna e makemake ai, pehea ʻo ia e ʻike ai i ko lākou hānai ʻana ... kala i kou lauoho a ʻoki pōkole paha i kou lauoho a huki i nā hopena kūpono. ʻO kēia ke ʻano o ʻoukou e ʻike mālie ai kekahi i kekahi. ʻAʻole ʻike nā kāne a pau i ka mea a lākou e makemake ai i kahi pilina e hiki mai ana, a pinepine ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e noʻonoʻo pono ʻole, akā ʻo ke kamaʻilio hui e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo maikaʻi i ka mea nui iā ʻoe, ka mea hiki a me ka mea hiki ʻole ke ʻae.
Nā kumuhana a me nā nīnau laʻana no ke kūkākūkā ʻana:
Ka mana a me ke kālā. ʻO wai ke poʻo o ka ʻohana? Ma nā wahi a pau? mau? I nā mea a pau? ʻEhia kālā e pono ai mākou no ka uku ola? He aha kā mākou papahana kiʻekiʻe? Inā ʻaʻole lawa ke kālā o ka ʻohana, pehea lā? ʻO wai ke kuleana no ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i kēia pilikia? He aha a i ka manawa hea e loaʻa ai nā koi kū'ē i kekahi e hilinaʻi ana i kekahi? He kālā pilikino wale nō, ʻo wai ka mea a ʻehia ka nui? Pehea mākou e mālama ai i ke kālā maʻamau? "He kanaka hoʻolilo ʻoe!" — pehea e hoʻoponopono ʻia ai kēia pilikia? Ma muli o ka pōʻino o nā mea e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hana i kahi hōʻino i kekahi? He aha kāu makemake i loko o kahi keʻena? He aha kāu e ʻae ʻole ai?
hana. Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā koi no ka hana a kekahi? He aha ka mea pono ʻole ma laila? Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi i nā hana no ka pono o kou ʻohana? He aha ke kumu? Ma lalo o nā kūlana hea?
Mea ʻai a me meaʻai. He aha nā makemake a me nā pono? mea kanu mea kanu? Hoʻonohonoho papaʻaina? Pehea mākou e hana ai inā ʻaʻole ʻono a monotonous? ʻO wai ka mea kūʻai: he aha ke ʻano, ʻo wai ka mea e ʻaʻahu ai i nā mea koʻikoʻi, ʻo wai ke kū i nā laina, etc. ʻO wai ka mea kuke, pono e kōkua kekahi a ma ke ʻano pehea? Hiki ke koi ʻia e pili ana i ka "ʻono ʻole"? Ma ke ano hea? ʻO wai ka mea hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ka papaʻaina a holoi i nā kīʻaha ma hope o ka ʻai pū ʻana? Hoomaemae anei ke kanaka ia ia iho mahope o ka ai hookahi ana? He mea nui ia iā ʻoe? Ma ka pae hea? ʻālohilohi a i ʻole ʻaʻole lepo a paʻa wale? ʻO wai ka mea holoi a holoi i ka papahele, ka lepo, ka lepo? Pehea mau? E loaʻa kahi au pair? Inā lawe ʻia ka lepo, ʻo wai ka mea nāna e holoi a i ka manawa hea? Holoi koke mākou i nā kāmaʻa lepo? Hana koke mākou i ko mākou wahi moe? ʻO wai? Ke kau nei mākou i kahi lole, kahi lole ma hope o mākou, ke kau nei mākou i nā mea ma ko lākou wahi?
ʻO ka lole, ka helehelena a me ka mālama pilikino. Nā lole: ka manaʻo i ke ʻano, nā makemake, ehia ka nui o kā mākou makemake e hoʻolilo, hoʻonohonoho mākou i nā mea ʻono a i ʻole nā mea a pau e ʻaʻahu e like me ko lākou makemake?
Health. Aia kekahi kuleana e mālama i kou olakino? A inā ʻaʻole hahai kekahi i kāna iho? Inā maʻi nui kekahi? Inā ʻoʻoleʻa loa ka wahine ma hope o ka hānau ʻana?
Nā mākua. ʻEhia mau manawa e hele ai ʻoe e kipa i kou mau mākua a me kou ʻohana? Pono e hui pū? Hiki i nā ʻohana ke hoʻopilikia i kou pilina a me kou nohona?
ʻO ka manawa kaʻawale a me nā leʻaleʻa. Pehea mākou e hoʻolilo ai i ko mākou manawa kaʻawale? A i ka manawa hea e hiki mai ai ke keiki? He aha kāu hoihoi a pehea koʻikoʻi? Pehea e pili ai kēia i nā pono o ka ʻohana? Pono anei kāu kāne e kaʻana like i kāu mau leʻaleʻa? He aha kou manaʻo i ke kipa ʻana i nā hoaaloha, nā kaola, nā hale kiʻiʻoniʻoni, conservatory? Hele wāwae? Noho home? TV? Vidic? Puke? Haʻuki? Pets: ʻo wai ʻoe makemake e loaʻa? No ke aha ʻoe e ʻae ʻole ai?
keiki. ʻEhia mau keiki āu e makemake ai i ka wā hea? Pehea inā ʻaʻohe keiki? He aha inā he hāpai i hoʻolālā ʻole ʻia? Na wai e mālama i ke keiki, he aha ke ʻano kōkua āu e manaʻo ai? Pehea ʻoe e hana ai i ka nele o ka manawa kaʻawale? I nā palena ma nā ʻano leʻaleʻa maʻamau? ʻO wai ka luna hoʻonaʻauao? Pehea ʻoe makemake e ʻike i kāu keiki a pehea ʻoe e hoʻolālā ai e hoʻokō i kēia? He paʻakikī, kuhikuhi, a i ʻole nā mea āpau i ke keiki, i ʻole e uhaʻi i kona psyche?
makamaka. I loko o ka pōʻaiapili o ke ola ʻohana, ke manaʻo nei ʻoe e hui me nā hoaaloha: pehea pinepine, ma hea, ma ke ʻano he aha, i ka wā e hui pū ai me kāu wahine, i ka wā kaʻawale?
ʻO nā ʻano a me nā ʻano ʻino. Hiki paha ke ʻaʻahu ʻinoʻino inā kipa mai nā hoaaloha? Pehea inā ʻoe hoʻokahi ma ka home? Puhi, inu ʻoe? Ahea, ehia? He aha kāu e ʻae ai iā ʻoe iho, kāu kāne? Pehea ʻoe e hana ai inā ʻona kāu kāne? Inā he mau hana ʻino a maikaʻi ʻole paha kāu kāne (ke nahu i kona mau kui, hoʻokuʻu i kona mau wāwae, ʻaʻole holoi lima ma mua o ka ʻai ʻana), pehea ʻoe e hana ai?
ʻO kā mākou pilina. He aha nā hōʻailona āu e pono ai? A i kekahi? He aha ka mea e hōʻeha loa iā ʻoe? A ʻo kekahi? Pehea ʻoe e noi ai i kala ʻia? Pehea ʻoe e kala ai? Pehea ka lōʻihi o ko ʻolua ʻūhū ʻana i kekahi i kekahi?
Ma muli o kēia mau nīnau, hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i kāu ponoʻī, he mea nui iā ʻoe a kūkākūkā mua iā lākou. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike ma mua i ke ʻano o ka hana a ka mea ʻē aʻe i nā kūlana koʻikoʻi iā ʻoe, a e haʻi koke i kāu e hoʻolālā ai e hana. E loaʻa iā ʻoe ka manawa e hoʻomaopopo ai inā makemake ʻoe i nā lula o ka noho ʻana. Loaʻa kahi manawa e ʻike ai i nā wahi pilikia e hiki mai ana i ka pilina - a noʻonoʻo inā mākaukau ʻoe e ʻae. No ka laʻana, ua mākaukau lākou e ʻae i ka slovenliness a i ʻole kahi makemake nui no ka pōmaikaʻi waiwai a me ka ulu ʻana o ka nohona, ʻaʻole makemake e hoʻololi i ka hana maʻamau i kēlā me kēia lā e pili ana i ke ʻano o nā keiki (ka makemake e hoʻololi i ke kaumaha o ka mālama ʻana i ke keiki i kāna wahine), a pela aku.
ʻO ka mea nui aʻu i makemake ai e ʻōlelo, ʻo ia ke kamaʻilio, e kamaʻilio ma mua e pili ana i nā lula o kou noho ʻana, e pili ana i kāu mea e makemake ai e ʻike ma luna o nā poʻohiwi o kekahi, a me kāu makemake e lawe. Kūkākūkā i nā pilikia ma mua - e pili ana i ke ʻano o nā keiki, nele i ke kālā, me nā hana i hōʻike ʻia o kekahi. A e aʻo pū hoʻi, ʻoiai i ka wā o ka hāʻule ʻana i ke aloha, e ʻike i nā maʻamau a me nā manaʻo o kekahi kanaka, e aʻo e wānana i ke ʻano o kāna hana i kēlā me kēia lā. Pehea kou manaʻo pilikino, pehea ka hoʻololi ʻana i ke ola o kēlā me kēia lā, pehea ka maʻamau o ka politeness i kēlā me kēia lā? ʻO kēia mau noʻonoʻo a me nā nānā ʻana a pau e kōkua i ka pale ʻana i nā pīhoihoi maikaʻi ʻole.
Ke hōʻuluʻulu hou nei au: ʻo ke kumu o ka hakakā ʻana i kāu pilina, ʻo kou ʻike liʻiliʻi e pili ana i ke ʻano o ke ola ʻohana, ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ka mea i mākaukau no ia mea a ʻo wai ʻaʻole. ʻAʻole ʻoe i hōʻiliʻili i kēia ʻike, ʻaʻole ʻoe i hoʻomākaukau iā ʻoe iho no ke ola ʻohana a ʻaʻole ʻoe i nānā i kāu hoa no ka mākaukau no ia mea. A eia hou, ʻaʻole paʻakikī loa. E holomua ana ʻoe.