Loaʻa i kāu hoaaloha kona mau kumu ponoʻī no ka inu ʻole ʻana i ka waiʻona. No ka laʻana, aia ʻo ia i ka meaʻai, inu i nā lāʻau antibiotic a mālama ʻia paha no ka addiction. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole kēia he kumu e hoʻōki ai i ke kamaʻilio ʻana. Mai alakaʻi hewa a hoʻopaʻapaʻa no kēia. Mai ʻōlelo ʻoe i kēlā mau ʻōlelo ke hālāwai ʻoe me ia.
Ua hui pū mākou me nā hoaaloha a ke ninini nei i nā mea inu i loko o nā aniani. A hōʻole koke kekahi o ka hui e inu. Ma keʻano he kūlana, i kēlāʻano kūlana, me he mea lā ua hewa kekahi mea. ʻO ka pinepine, kāhāhā mākou a hoʻopaʻa i ka teetotaler me nā nīnau. Ua huhū paha kekahi. No ke aha mai?
ʻO nā kuʻuna a mākou i ulu ai e hana i nā stereotypes paʻa. Ma keʻano he kūlana, loaʻa iā mākou kahi papahana: ma nā hui hui, nā pāʻina a me nā lā hoʻomahaʻohana, inu nā mākua. ʻO kā mākou ʻai ʻai, hoʻopaʻa i nā aniani, ʻona pū mākou a pau - kēlā me kēia ma kona kekelē ponoʻī. ʻO ka hōʻole ʻana i ka inu ʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano he uhaki i ka kuʻuna.
ʻOi aku ka hoʻomanawanui ʻana o ka poʻe i ka poʻe ʻaʻole inu no nā kumu ʻike ʻia a hoʻolaha ʻia paha. ʻO ka poʻe e hoʻokele nei, nā wāhine hāpai, nā mea inu waiʻona "i ka maka." Akā inā ʻaʻole kaʻana like ka mea aloha iā mākou i nā kumu e hōʻole ai ʻo ia i ka waiʻona, ʻaʻole mākou e hōʻike mau i ka ʻike. ʻOiai, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo kāna ʻoihana ponoʻī kēia a me kāna koho ponoʻī.
Aia nō iā mākou ke mahalo i kāna hoʻoholo a hōʻike i ka momona. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole kā mākou hana e hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā ia, akā e loaʻa ka manawa maikaʻi. Ma ka noʻonoʻo, me ke kaumaha ʻole. He aha nā huaʻōlelo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ʻaʻole e kamaʻilio i kahi teetotaler ma kahi pāʻina?
1. "No ke aha ʻoe e inu ʻole ai?"
ʻAʻohe pono e koi i ka wehewehe ʻana i nā kumu o ka haʻalele ʻana i ka waiʻona, a ʻoi aku ka nui o ka noʻonoʻo ʻana: "Ua hāpai ʻoe i kekahi manawa?", "Ua kuhikuhi ʻia ʻoe i nā antidepressants?" Inā makemake kekahi hoaaloha e kaʻana like, a laila e hana ʻo ia. A i ʻole, e uhaki ʻoe i kona mau palena. "Inā hōʻole kekahi i ka inu, e ho'āʻo e noʻonoʻo i kēia hoʻoholo a ʻaʻole e noi i ka lua a i ʻole ke kolu o ka manawa," wahi a Hanna Wertz, ka mea psychologist.
2. "Makemake ʻoe e inu i hoʻokahi kīʻaha liʻiliʻi?"
ʻAʻole hiki ke manaʻo ʻia ʻo "kahi aniani wale nō", "hoʻokahi pana wale nō" a me "kahi cocktail liʻiliʻi" he hōʻailona o ka pilina maikaʻi me ke kanaka. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻo ia ke kaomi a me ke koi. No laila, ʻo ʻoe, ʻo ka mea mua, e hōʻike i ka nānā ʻole a me ka mahalo ʻole i ka hoʻoholo o ka interlocutor, a ʻo ka lua, hiki iā ʻoe ke lilo i mea hewa o kāna mau pilikia. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ke kumu o kona hōʻole ʻana i ka waiʻona.
3. "Akā inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e inu, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke pāʻina maoli!"
ʻAʻole pono e hoʻāʻo e koho i mua pehea e hoʻopili ai kāu hoaaloha i ke ʻano maʻamau o nā hoʻolauleʻa a me nā pāʻina. He mea nui ka ʻoluʻolu o ka mea inu ʻole i kahi kaiapuni kahi e inu ai i ka waiʻona. ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo he pono ʻoe e hoʻoholo nona pehea e maikaʻi ai kona manaʻo a hoʻōki i ke kono ʻana iā ia i nā pāʻina.
"E hōʻike iā ia i ka mea e hiki mai ana i hiki iā ia ke hoʻomākaukau i kāna mau mākau hoʻoponopono," ʻōlelo aʻo ʻo Rachel Schwartz i ke kākāʻōlelo ʻona a me ka hoʻohana lāʻau. — ʻO ka mea e mālama ʻia ana no ka addiction, makaʻu mau ʻo ia e loli kona pilina me nā hoaaloha. ʻAʻole makemake ʻo ia e manaʻo ua kipaku ʻia ʻo ia mai kona ola kahiko.
E ho'āʻo e hoʻokumu i kahi lewa aloha a e ʻae mālie i ka hoʻoholo a kekahi e inu ʻole. A e hoʻāʻo e hōʻoia i ke koena o ka hui ʻo ia ka mea kūpono e hana ai. Inā ʻaʻole kōkua kēia, a laila e hāʻawi i kahi koho ʻē aʻe - no ka laʻana, e hoʻolilo i ka manawa hoʻokahi ma kekahi, ʻaʻole me kahi pāʻina walaʻau o nā hoaaloha.
4. Ke hoʻomanaʻo nei ʻoe i ko kāua inu pū ʻana? Ua leʻaleʻa »
Ua like ia mau ʻōlelo nostalgia no ka wā kahiko - akā ʻaʻole kēia wale nō. Hoʻokomo pū lākou i ke koʻikoʻi i ka ʻeha o kahi maʻi teetotaler e hopohopo nei: "E lilo anei mākou i mau hoaaloha e like me ka wā ma mua inā ʻaʻole wau e inu?" ʻIke ʻoe i kou inu ʻana, leʻaleʻa, akā i kēia manawa ke kaumaha? ʻO ia mau noʻonoʻo e hōʻoia i ka makaʻu o ka poʻe inu ʻole a kānalua lākou i kā lākou hoʻoholo.
Eia kekahi, ke hōʻike nei kēia mau ʻōlelo e hauʻoli ʻoe i ka hālāwai ʻana me kahi hoaaloha ma muli o ka waiʻona, ʻaʻole no ka mea he kanaka maikaʻi ʻo ia. Me he mea lā ua emi kona ʻano i kēia manawa. E ʻimi i kahi ala e hōʻike ai i kāu hoaaloha e mahalo mau ana ʻoe iā ia a me ka mea i waena o ʻoukou.
5. "ʻAe, ʻaʻole wau i inu no hoʻokahi mahina."
Malia paha, ua hoʻopuka ʻia kēia ʻoiaʻiʻo no ke kākoʻo a me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana: "nānā, ua hele pū wau i kēia, ua maikaʻi nā mea āpau iaʻu." Me he mea lā e hūnā i ka ʻōlelo: "Ua maopopo iaʻu iā ʻoe." Akā hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo i kēia wale nō inā ʻike ʻoe i ke kumu o ka hōʻole ʻana o kāu hoa pili i ka waiʻona.
ʻAʻole paha ʻoe i inu i ka waiʻona no kekahi manawa no ka mea ua lilo ʻoe i mea hoʻohui i ke kino a me ka meaʻai kūpono. Akā, ʻo ia ʻano hoʻohālikelike e like paha me ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa a me ka noʻonoʻo ʻole i kahi kanaka e hakakā nei me ka addiction a ʻaʻole inu no ka maʻi nui.
6. "ʻAʻole au i ʻike he pilikia kou i ka waiʻona!"
Me he mea la ma keia olelo? ʻAʻohe hoʻohewa a hoʻokau ʻia ka waiʻona. Akā ʻaʻole ʻo kāu ʻōlelo wale nō ka mea nui, akā pehea ʻoe e hana ai. ʻOiai me nā manaʻo maikaʻi loa, no ka laʻana, inā makemake ʻoe e kākoʻo i kahi hoaaloha ma kēia ʻano, hiki i kahi leo pīhoihoi ke hōʻeha iā ia.
"E ho'āʻo e lokomaikaʻi," wahi a Rachel Schwartz. "ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake e manaʻo ka mea ʻē aʻe me he mea lā aia lākou i ke kukui, e like me ka clown i loko o kahi kahua."
Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka ʻōlelo hoʻomaikaʻi e like me "ʻAʻole wau i ʻike ua pilikia ʻoe i ka waiʻona" hoʻohui i ka stigma - me he mea lā ke hoʻolilo nei ʻoe i kahi hoaaloha inu ʻole i kumu hoʻohālike hele o ke ʻano o ka manaʻo o ka lehulehu.
7. Hamau
Ma hope o nā mea āpau, noʻonoʻo ʻole ʻoe: hiki anei ke ʻōlelo i kekahi mea i nā mea inu ʻole? ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ka noho leo ʻole a haʻalele i ka loli ʻana o ka nohona o kahi hoaaloha? ʻAʻole maopopo loa nā mea a pau. ʻO ka haʻihaʻi ʻana o nā pilina - ka pau ʻana o ka kamaʻilio ʻana a me nā hui hui - ʻaʻole ʻeha ka liʻiliʻi ma mua o nā ʻōlelo awkward. Aia kekahi poʻe makemake e haʻi ʻole ʻia i ka pane ʻana i ka ʻōlelo: "ʻAʻole wau e inu i ka waiʻona." A mahalo kekahi i nā ʻōlelo kākoʻo.
E ʻike i ka mea maikaʻi loa no kāu hoa. E ʻoluʻolu e nīnau inā hiki iā ʻoe ke kākoʻo iā ia. Refine: "Makemake ʻoe e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ia?" Ma ka manaʻo o Rachel Schwartz, nā nīnau wehe e like me "Pehea ʻoe?" ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
Ma hope o nā mea a pau, i ka hopena, ʻo ka mea nui loa i kahi hoaaloha ʻo ia ka mālama ʻana iā ʻoe ma hope ona, ʻoiai inā i loko o kahi kamaʻilio ʻana i hui pū ʻia me nā lita o ka pia, e slur kou alelo.