Pehea e lilo ai i keiki ʻole: 17 mau ʻike e pili ana i ka poʻe makemake ʻole e hānau keiki

Ua lilo ka makahiki XNUMX i manawa o ka hakakā ʻana no nā kuleana o ka poʻe i hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻia, hōʻino ʻia, ʻimi e hoʻokaʻawale a luku paha i ke kino. "A makemake wau e haʻi i kaʻu ʻōlelo i ka pale ʻana i ka poʻe i haʻalele i ke kuleana o nā mākua, ke koho ʻana i nā pahuhopu ʻē aʻe a me nā ala no lākou iho," i kākau ai ʻo psychologist Bella de Paulo.

'Ōleloʻo ia i kekahi o nā hana kaulana loa i hoʻolaʻaʻia no ka hānauʻoleʻana,ʻo ka puke a ka mea kākau moʻoleloʻo Rachel Chrastil "Pehea e lilo ai i keikiʻole: ka moʻolelo a me ke akeakamai o ke ola me kaʻole o nā keiki", e uhi nui ana i keʻano o ka hānauʻole a me nā manaʻo e pili ana iā ia i loko o ke kaiaulu. He aha ka mea i hoʻololi, pehea ia i loli ai, a he aha ka mea i mau i nā makahiki he 500 i hala?

ʻAʻohe keiki a keiki ʻole paha?

ʻO ka mea mua, pono mākou e wehewehe i nā huaʻōlelo. Manaʻo ʻo Charsteel ʻaʻole i ʻae ʻia ka huaʻōlelo «nulliparous» i hoʻohana ʻia e nā kauka, ʻoiai ʻaʻole hiki ke kuhikuhi i nā kāne ʻaʻohe keiki. ʻO ka huaʻōlelo "childfree", ʻo ia hoʻi, "free mai nā keiki", i kona manaʻo, he ʻano ʻoniʻoni loa.

Makemake ʻo ia e hoʻohana i ka huaʻōlelo "keiki ʻole" e pili ana i ka poʻe makemake ʻole e hānau keiki. ʻOiaiʻo kēia hua'ōlelo e hōʻike ana i ka nele, ka nele i kekahi mea, aʻaʻoleʻo ia i manaʻo i ka nele o nā keiki he pilikia.

"Ke kapa aku nei au he keiki ole ka poe keiki ole, aole maoli a hookama paha," wahi a Chrastil. "A ʻo ka poʻe ʻaʻole i komo i ka hānai ʻana i ke keiki a ʻaʻole i lawe i nā kuleana mālama."

He keiki ʻole ʻo Chrastil iā ia iho - ʻaʻole no ka hiki ʻole iā ia ke lilo i makuahine, akā no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻo ia i makemake. Kaʻana like ʻo ia i nā ʻike e pili ana i ka loli ʻana o ka manaʻo i ka poʻe keiki ʻole a me ke keiki ʻole i nā makahiki he 500 i hala.

Ke keiki ʻole - he anomaly a i ʻole ka maʻamau?

1. ʻAʻole he mea hou ke keiki ʻole.

Ua laha nui ʻia ka hānau keiki ʻole ma nā kūlanakauhale o ʻEulopa ʻĀkau mai ka makahiki 20. Ua manaʻo ʻia ka pēpē pēpē he anomaly, ua lōʻihi ma kahi o XNUMX mau makahiki, a laila ua hoʻi hou ka hānau keiki ʻole, ʻoi aku ka "hōʻino" a kūkākūkā nui ʻia ma mua. ʻO ke ʻano o ka hānau ʻole ʻana ma ka honua holoʻokoʻa: aia ia ma nā moʻomeheu āpau, a ma nā manawa like ʻole a ma nā wahi like ʻole ua mālama ʻia ʻo ia.

2. Ua ʻike ʻia ka helu kiʻekiʻe loa o nā wahine keiki ʻole ma waena o ka poʻe i hānau ʻia i ka makahiki 1900

24% o lākou ʻaʻole i hānau keiki. Ma waena o ka poʻe i hānau ma hope o 50 mau makahiki, ma waena o 1950 a me 1954, ʻo 17% wale nō o nā wahine he 45 makahiki ʻaʻole i hānau.

3. I ka makahiki 1900, he hapalua ka nui o na keiki a na wahine i ka makahiki 1800.

No ka laʻana, i ka makahiki 1800, ʻike ʻia ka awelika o ʻehiku mau keiki i loko o hoʻokahi ʻohana, a ma 1900 - mai ʻekolu a ʻehā.

ʻO ka psychology o ka poʻe keiki ʻole a me ka poʻe e hoʻohewa iā lākou

4. I ka wā o ka Reformation, ua kuhikuhi ʻia ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i nā wahine e hānau keiki

ʻO ke kumu o ia mau hana koʻikoʻi i ka makahiki 1517–1648, ʻo ia ka "makaʻu o hoʻoholo nā wahine e pale i kā lākou hana kapu." ʻIke ʻia, ma waho o ka ʻohana a me ke keiki ʻole, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ko lākou manaʻo. I ka manawa like, ʻaʻole i hoʻohewa ʻia nā kāne keiki ʻole e like me nā wahine, ʻaʻole hoʻi i hoʻopaʻi ʻia.

5. I ke kenekulia XNUMX, hiki ke hoʻopiʻi ʻia kēlā wahine i ka kilokilo a puhi ʻia i ke ahi.

6. ʻO ka stereotype o ka wahine keiki ʻole ma ke ʻano he hele wāwae, manaʻoʻiʻo, he kanaka ʻino i ola no nā kenekulia.

Ua kuhikuhi ʻo Chrastil i kā Adam Smith The Wealth of Nations, kahi āna i kākau ai: "ʻAʻohe hale aupuni no ka hoʻonaʻauao ʻana i nā wahine ... Ua aʻo ʻia lākou i nā mea a nā mākua a kahu paha e manaʻo ai he pono a pono paha, ʻaʻohe mea ʻē aʻe i aʻo ʻia."

7. Ma waena o nā kenekulia XNUMXth a me XNUMXth, ʻaʻole i makemake nui nā wahine e mare ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā keiki.

Ua haʻi ʻo Chrastil i kahi puke liʻiliʻi 1707, The 15 Pluses of a Single Life, a i paʻi ʻia ma 1739, Valuable Advice to Women on Avoiding Marriage, as examples.

8. ʻO ka heluna nui o ka poʻe keiki ʻole i ka hapa ʻelua o ke kenekulia iwakālua e pili pinepine ʻia me ka mea i hana ʻia i nā lāʻau hoʻomalu hānau.

Eia kekahi, nui hou aku ka poʻe mehameha. Akā, ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei ʻo Chrastil he mea nui aʻe - "e ulu ana i ka hoʻomanawanui no ka poʻe i haʻalele i ke ʻano kuʻuna o ka ʻohana a koho i ko lākou ala ponoʻī." Me ia poe mare, aole nae e lilo i makua.

9. Ua hoʻomaka ka manaʻo o ke koho pilikino i ka makahiki 1960 e pili pū me nā manaʻo o ke aupuni demokala a me ke kūʻokoʻa.

Ua hilahila ka loneliness a me ka nele i ke keiki, akā i kēia manawa ua pili pū lākou me ke kūʻokoʻa o ka ʻike ponoʻī. Eia naʻe, me ke kaumaha e like me ka ʻae ʻana, hoʻāhewa mau ka poʻe i ka poʻe ʻaʻohe keiki, ʻoiai inā haʻalele lākou i ke kuleana o nā mākua ma ko lākou makemake ponoʻī. Akā i ka makahiki 1970, "ua hiki i nā kānaka ke hoʻololi i ko lākou manaʻo e pili ana i ke keiki ʻole ma ke ʻano i hana ʻole ʻia ma mua."

Debunking the cult of motherhood

10. ʻO Thomas Robert Malthus, ka mea kākau o An Essay on the Law of Population, i hoʻokomo i kahi paukū i ka makahiki 1803 e hoʻomaikaʻi ana i nā wahine hoʻokahi a me nā keiki ʻole.

"I kāna hana, ua kau ʻia ka maikaʻi o ke kaiāulu, ʻaʻole ka matron." Akā, ua male ʻo ia a i ka makahiki 1826 ua wehe ʻo ia i kēia paukū mai ka puke hope loa.

11. ʻAʻole nā ​​alakaʻi kālaiʻāina a pau i paipai i nā wāhine e hānau

No ka laʻana, i ka makahiki 1972, ua hoʻokumu ʻo Pelekikena Richard Nixon i ke kōmike hoʻomalu hānau a hoʻāhewa i nā ʻohana nui o ʻAmelika, a ua kāhea pū i nā kamaʻāina e hoʻokokoke pono i ka pilikia "keiki".

12. Ua hōʻole ʻia ka makuahine ma ke ʻano he aloha aloha i ka makahiki 1980

ʻO Jean Veevers, nāna i hoʻopuka Childless na Choice. Ma kahi ninaninau, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia he nui nā wahine nulliparous ʻaʻole manaʻo i ka makuahine he "hoʻokō nui a i ʻole hana hana ... .”

13. Ma 2017, hoʻolei ʻo Orna Donat i ka wahie ma ke ahi, e paʻi ana i ka ʻatikala "Mihina o ka makuahine"

Ua hōʻiliʻili i nā nīnauele o nā wahine i mihi i ko lākou lilo ʻana i mau makuahine.

keiki ʻole a hauʻoli

14. I keia mau la, aole o ka mare ana ka loaa ana o na keiki, a o na keiki, aole loa ia he mea ua mare oe a mare paha.

He nui ka poʻe hoʻokahi i loaʻa nā keiki, a he nui nā kāne e noho me ka ʻole o lākou. Eia naʻe, i ka makahiki i hala aku nei, ua manaʻo ʻia he keiki ka poʻe male, a ʻo ka wahine hoʻokahi he keiki ʻole. "I ka hopena o ka XNUMXth a me ka hoʻomaka ʻana o nā kenekulia XNUMXth, ʻo ka poʻe i koho i ke keiki ʻole, hōʻole pū lākou i ka male."

15. ʻOi aku ka makemake o nā keiki makua ʻole e noho hoʻokahi a ma nā hale hānai

Akā ʻo ka poʻe i loaʻa nā keiki e waiho wale ʻia a hoʻopau ʻia i ka mālama o ka mokuʻāina. ʻO ke kumu, ʻaʻole ʻimi nā keiki e mālama i ko lākou mau mākua, neʻe i nā kūlanakauhale a me nā ʻāina ʻē aʻe, wehe i kahi ʻoihana, lawe hōʻaiʻē, hakakā a hemo, hoʻohana i ka waiʻona a me nā lāʻau lapaʻau. Loaʻa iā lākou ko lākou ola ponoʻī, ko lākou mau pilikia ponoʻī, a ʻaʻole mālama lākou i ko lākou mau mākua.

16. E like me 150 makahiki aku nei, ua kūʻokoʻa nā wāhine keiki ʻole i kēia lā.

Ua aʻo ʻia lākou, emi ka hoʻomana, ʻoi aku ka nānā ʻana i ka ʻoihana, maʻalahi i ka hana kāne kāne, a makemake lākou e noho i ke kūlanakauhale.

17. I keia mau la, ua oi aku ko lakou loaa mamua o ko lakou mau makuwahine, ua oi aku ka waiwai, ka hilinai ia lakou iho, a me ka lako ia lakou iho.

Ke loli nei ke ola, a ʻo ka mea pōmaikaʻi, ʻokoʻa ka manaʻo i nā wahine keiki ʻole a me nā kāne mai ka 500 mau makahiki i hala. ʻAʻole lākou i puhi hou ʻia ma ka lāʻau a koi ʻia paha e loaʻa nā keiki. Eia nō naʻe, manaʻo ka poʻe he nui ka hauʻoli o ka wahine me ke keiki ʻole a pono e kōkua ʻia ʻo ia e ʻike i ka nui o kāna nalowale. E hōʻole i nā nīnau maʻalahi a me nā ʻōlelo aʻo pono. He keiki ʻole paha ʻo ia no ka mea ʻo kāna koho noʻonoʻo.

No ka mea kākau: ʻO Bella de Paulo he kanaka psychologist a me ka mea kākau o Behind the Door of Deception.