ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka hānai ʻana i nā ʻōpio. I ka pane ʻana i nā ʻōlelo, ʻāwili lākou i ko lākou mau maka, paʻi i ka puka, a i ʻole ke kolohe. Ua wehewehe ka mea kākau moʻolelo ʻo Bill Murphy he mea nui ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i nā keiki i kā lākou mau manaʻo ʻoiai ʻo kā lākou hana ʻino.
ʻO kēia moʻolelo e hoʻokuʻu aku i nā mākua a puni ka honua, akā makemake kaʻu kaikamahine e "pepehi" iaʻu nona.
I ka makahiki 2015, ua hōʻike ʻo Kauka Erica Rascon-Ramirez i nā hopena o ke aʻo ʻana ma kahi hālāwai kūkā o ka Royal Economic Society. Ua lawe kekahi hui ʻepekema mai ke Kulanui o Essex i nā kaikamahine Pelekane he 15 mau makahiki 13-14 ma lalo o ka nānā ʻana a nānā i ko lākou ola no hoʻokahi makahiki.
Ua hoʻoholo ka poʻe noiʻi ʻo nā manaʻolana kiʻekiʻe o nā mākua i kā lākou mau kaikamahine ʻōpio kekahi o nā kumu nui i ko lākou holomua ʻana i ka wā o ke kanaka makua. ʻO nā kaikamāhine e hoʻomanaʻo mau ana nā makuahine iā lākou i kā lākou mau manaʻolana kiʻekiʻe, ʻaʻole lākou e hāʻule i loko o nā pahele ola e hoʻoweliweli i ko lākou kūleʻa e hiki mai ana.
ʻO kēia mau kaikamahine:
- liʻiliʻi ka hāpai ʻana i ka wā ʻōpio
- ʻoi aku ka hele ʻana i ke kulanui
- liʻiliʻi paha ka paʻa ʻana i nā hana hoʻohiki ʻole, uku haʻahaʻa
- liʻiliʻi paha ka nele i ka hana no ka manawa lōʻihi
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka pale ʻana i nā pilikia mua a me nā pahele ʻaʻole ia he hōʻoiaʻiʻo o ka wā e hiki mai ana. Eia naʻe, ʻoi aku ka nui o nā manawa kūpono o ia mau kaikamahine e kūleʻa ma hope. Me ia, e na makua, ua pau ko oukou hana. Eia kekahi, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā keiki i kā lākou makemake a me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana ma mua o kou mau ʻano.
Ke kaa nei i ko lakou mau maka? No laila ke hana nei
Wow nā hopena - pane paha kekahi poʻe heluhelu. Ua ho'āʻo anei ʻoe e ʻimi hewa i kāu kaikamahine 13 makahiki? ʻO nā keikikāne a me nā kaikamahine ʻelua e ʻōwili i ko lākou mau maka, paʻi i nā puka, a haʻalele iā lākou iho.
ʻIke wau ʻaʻole leʻaleʻa. Hoʻokahi makahiki wale nō kaʻu kaikamahine, no laila ʻaʻole i loaʻa iaʻu kahi manawa e ʻike ai i kēia leʻaleʻa noʻu iho. Akā, hiki i nā mākua ke hōʻoluʻolu ʻia e ka manaʻo, kākoʻo ʻia e nā ʻepekema, ʻoiai me he mea lā ke kamaʻilio nei ʻoe me ka pā, ke hana maoli nei kāu ʻōlelo aʻo.
No ka nui o kā mākou ho'āʻo ʻana e pale i ka ʻōlelo aʻo a nā mākua, pili nō ia i kā mākou hoʻoholo.
"Ma nā hihia he nui, hiki iā mākou ke hana i kā mākou makemake, ʻoiai inā kūʻē i ka makemake o nā mākua," i kākau ai ka mea kākau noiʻi ʻo Dr. Rascon-Ramirez. "Akā ʻaʻole pili i ka paʻakikī o kā mākou hoʻāʻo ʻana e pale i ka ʻōlelo aʻo makua, hoʻololi mau ia i kā mākou hoʻoholo."
ʻO ia hoʻi, inā ʻōwili nā maka o kahi kaikamahine ʻōpio a ʻōlelo, "Mama, ua luhi ʻoe," ʻo kāna ʻano maoli, "Mahalo no ka ʻōlelo kōkua. E ho'āʻo wau e hana pono."
Ka hopena huila o ka makua
ʻO nā manaʻolana kiʻekiʻe like ʻole e hoʻoikaika pū kekahi i kekahi. Inā hoʻoikaika ʻoe i ʻelua manaʻo i kāu kaikamahine i ka manawa hoʻokahi - pono ʻo ia e hele i ke kulanui a ʻaʻole pono e hāpai i kona wā ʻōpio - ʻaʻole paha ʻo ia e lilo i makuahine i ka makahiki 20 ma mua o ke kaikamahine i hoʻolaha ʻia hoʻokahi wale nō leka: ʻo ʻoe. ʻaʻole pono e hāpai a hiki i kou wā makua.
Ua ʻōlelo ka mea kākau moʻolelo ʻo Meredith Bland no kēia: “ʻOiaʻiʻo, nani ka manaʻo maikaʻi iā ia iho a me ka ʻike i nā mea hiki. Akā, inā mālama ke kaikamahine iā ia iho mai ka hāpai ʻana i ka wā mua ma muli o kona makemake ʻole e hoʻolohe i kā mākou ʻōhumu, ua maikaʻi nō. ʻAʻole pili nā kumu. ʻO ka mea nui ʻaʻole hiki kēia. "
ʻAʻole au i ʻike iā ʻoe, akā ʻo wau hoʻi, he kāne kanahā makahiki, lohe i kekahi manawa i ka leo ʻōlelo aʻo o koʻu mau mākua a i ʻole nā kūpuna ma koʻu poʻo ke hele au i kahi e pono ʻole ai. Ua hala aku ko'u kupunakane ma kahi o kanakolu makahiki i hala aku nei, aka, ina e hoowahawaha au i ka mea ono, lohe au ia ia e ohumu ana.
Ke manaʻo nei he ʻoiaʻiʻo ke aʻo ʻana no nā keikikāne - ʻaʻohe kumu e manaʻoʻiʻo ai - no koʻu kūleʻa, ma ka liʻiliʻi loa, loaʻa iaʻu koʻu mau mākua a me kā lākou mau manaʻolana kiʻekiʻe e mahalo ai. No laila, e ka makuahine a me ka makua, mahalo no ka nitpicking. A e kaʻu kaikamahine - e manaʻoʻiʻo mai iaʻu, e ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī iaʻu ma mua o ʻoe.
No ka mea kākau: He mea kākau moʻolelo ʻo Bill Murphy. ʻAʻole paha i kūlike ka manaʻo o ka mea kākau me ka manaʻo o nā mea hoʻoponopono.