Nīnauele me Muriel Salmona, psychiatrist: “Pehea e pale ai i nā keiki mai ka hana ʻino? “

Nā Mākua: ʻEhia mau keiki i loaʻa i ka moekolohe i kēia lā?

Muriel Salmona: ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻokaʻawale i ka moe kolohe mai nā hana ʻino ʻē aʻe. He poʻe pedophile ka poʻe hana hewa i loko a i waho o ka ʻohana. I kēia lā ma Farani, hoʻokahi i loko o ʻelima mau kaikamahine a me hoʻokahi o nā keikikāne he ʻumikumamākolu i loaʻa i ka hoʻomāinoino. ʻO ka hapalua o kēia mau hoʻouka kaua e hana ʻia e nā ʻohana. ʻOi aku ka nui o nā helu inā loaʻa i nā keiki ke kino kīnā. ʻO ka nui o nā kiʻi pedophile ma ka ʻupena e pālua i kēlā me kēia makahiki ma Farani. ʻO mākou ka lua o ka ʻāina i hoʻopilikia ʻia ma ʻEulopa.

Pehea e wehewehe ai i ia mau helu?

MS ʻO 1% wale nō o nā pedophiles i hoʻopaʻi ʻia no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻike ʻia ka hapa nui i nā ʻaha. ʻAʻole hōʻike wale ʻia lākou a no laila ʻaʻole i hopu ʻia. ʻO ke kumu: ʻaʻole ʻōlelo nā keiki. A ʻaʻole na lākou ka hewa akā ʻo ka hopena o ka nele o ka ʻike, ka pale ʻana a me ka ʻike ʻana i kēia hana ʻino. Aia nō naʻe nā hōʻailona o ka ʻehaʻeha e pono e makaʻala i nā mākua a me nā ʻoihana: ʻoluʻolu, haʻalele iā ʻoe iho, huhū pahū, hiamoe a me ka ʻai ʻana, nā hana addictive, hopohopo, phobias, moe moe ... ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo ʻo kēia mau hōʻailona āpau i loko ʻO ke keiki ka mea e hōʻike ai i ka hana ʻino. Akā, pono lākou e hoʻomau mākou me kahi lāʻau lapaʻau.

ʻAʻole anei he "nā kānāwai kumu" e mālama ʻia i mea e pale aku ai i ka hoʻolaha ʻana i nā keiki i ka hana kolohe?

MS ʻAe, hiki iā mākou ke hōʻemi i nā pilikia ma o ka makaʻala loa e pili ana i ke kaiapuni o nā keiki, ma ka nānā ʻana i kā lākou mau hoa pili, ma ka hōʻike ʻana i ka hoʻomanawanui ʻole i mua o nā ʻōlelo hoʻohaʻahaʻa liʻiliʻi loa e like me ka mea kaulana "e ulu ana!" », Ma ka pāpā ʻana i nā kūlana e like me ka ʻauʻau ʻana a i ʻole ka hiamoe ʻana me ke kanaka makua, ʻo kekahi lālā o ka ʻohana. 

ʻO kekahi ʻano hoʻohālikelike maikaʻi ʻē aʻe: e wehewehe i kāu keiki "ʻaʻohe kuleana o ke kanaka e hoʻopā i kona mau ʻāpana a nānā ʻole iā ia." ʻOiai kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻo a pau, hoʻomau ka pilikia, he wahaheʻe ke ʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, i hāʻawi ʻia i nā helu. Hiki ke hana ʻino ma nā wahi a pau, ʻoiai ma waena o nā hoalauna hilinaʻi, i ka wā mele, catechism, pôpeku, i ka wā hoʻomaha ʻohana a i ʻole kahi noho haukapila… 

ʻAʻole kēia ka hewa o nā mākua. A ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hāʻule i loko o ka ʻeha mau a pale ʻole i nā keiki mai ka noho ʻana, hana i nā hana, hele i ka hoʻomaha, loaʻa nā hoaaloha ...

No laila pehea mākou e pale ai i nā keiki mai kēia hana ʻino?

MS ʻO ka mea kaua wale nō ke kamaʻilio pū me kāu mau keiki e pili ana i kēia hana hoʻomāinoino, e hoʻokokoke i ke kamaʻilio ʻana i ka wā e kū mai ai, ma ka hilinaʻi ʻana i nā puke e haʻi ʻia nei, ma ka nīnau mau ʻana i nā manaʻo o nā keiki e pili ana i ia kūlana. kēlā kanaka, mai ka wā kamaliʻi ma kahi o 3 mau makahiki. “ʻAʻohe mea e hōʻeha iā ʻoe, hoʻoweliweli iā ʻoe? "ʻOiaʻiʻo, pono mākou e hoʻololi i nā makahiki o nā keiki a hōʻoluʻolu iā lākou i ka manawa like. ʻAʻohe mea hana kupanaha. Pili kēia i nā keiki a pau, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe hōʻailona o ka ʻeha no ka mea ʻaʻole hōʻike ʻia kekahi akā ua "hoʻopau ʻia mai loko mai".

ʻO kahi mea nui: wehewehe pinepine nā mākua i ka hihia o ka huhū, pono ʻoe e ʻōlelo ʻaʻole, uē, holo. Ma waho aʻe o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, e kū ana me kahi pedophile, ʻaʻole mālama mau ke keiki i ka pale ʻana iā ia iho, maʻi maʻi i ke kūlana. A laila hiki iā ia ke hoʻopaʻa iā ia iho i ka hewa a me ka hāmau. I ka pōkole, pono ʻoe e hele a hiki i ka ʻōlelo ʻana "inā loaʻa kēia iā ʻoe, e hana i nā mea a pau āu e hiki ai ke pale aku iā ʻoe iho, akā ʻaʻole nau ka hewa inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e kūleʻa, ʻaʻole ʻoe kuleana, e like me ka wā o ka ʻaihue a puhi. Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, pono ʻoe e haʻi koke iā ia i mea e loaʻa ai ke kōkua a hiki iā mākou ke hopu i ka mea hewa ". ʻO ia hoʻi: e wāwahi koke i kēia noho mālie, e pale i ke keiki mai ka mea hoʻomāinoino, e hiki ke pale i nā hopena koʻikoʻi i ka manawa a i ʻole ka lōʻihi no ke koena o ke keiki.

Pono anei ka makua i hoʻomāinoino ʻia i kona wā kamaliʻi e haʻi aku i kā lākou mau keiki?

MS ʻAe, ʻaʻole pono e kapu ka hana kolohe. ʻAʻole ia he ʻāpana o ka moʻolelo o ka moekolohe o ka makua, ka mea nānā ʻole i ke keiki a pono e noho pili. ʻO ka hana hoʻomāinoino he mea ʻeha e hiki iā mākou ke wehewehe i nā keiki e like me kā mākou wehewehe ʻana iā lākou i nā ʻike paʻakikī ʻē aʻe i ko mākou ola. Hiki i ka makua ke ʻōlelo, “ʻAʻole oʻu makemake e loaʻa kēia iā ʻoe no ka mea, ua hana ʻino loa ia iaʻu”. Inā, ma ka ʻokoʻa, noho mālie ma luna o kēia traumatic i hala, hiki i ke keiki ke manaʻo i kahi palupalu i kona makua a hoʻomaopopo implicitly "ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kēlā". A ʻo kēia ka ʻokoʻa o ka ʻōlelo e haʻi ʻia. Inā ʻeha loa ka hōʻike ʻana i kēia moʻolelo i kāna keiki, hiki i ka makua ke hana me ke kōkua o ke kauka.

Nīnauele a Katrin Acou-Bouaziz