Contents
Ua kamaʻilio mākou e pili ana i ka nui o ka haʻalele ʻana i ke keiki inā makemake ʻo ia e hana iā ia iho a hana me ka hauʻoli (Rule 1).
ʻO kekahi mea ʻē aʻe inā loaʻa iā ia kahi pilikia koʻikoʻi ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke hoʻokō. A laila ʻaʻole maikaʻi ke kūlana o ka hana ʻole, hiki ke lawe mai i ka pōʻino.
'Ōlelo ka makuakāne o kahi keikikāne heʻumikumamākahi: "Ua hāʻawi mākou iā Misha i mea hoʻolālā no kona lā hānau. Ua hauʻoli ʻo ia, hoʻomaka koke ʻo ia e ʻohi. ʻO ka lā Sābati ia a e pāʻani ana au me kaʻu kaikamahine muli loa ma luna o ka moena. ʻElima mau minuke ma hope, lohe au: "Papa, ʻaʻole hana, kōkua." A pane aku au iā ia: “He ʻuʻuku ʻoe? E noʻonoʻo iā ʻoe iho. Ua kaumaha ʻo Misha a haʻalele koke i ka mea hoʻolālā. No laila mai ia manawa ʻaʻole i kūpono iā ia.
No ke aha i pane pinepine ai nā mākua i ke ʻano o ka pane ʻana o ka makuakāne o Mishin? ʻO ka mea nui loa, me ka manaʻo maikaʻi loa: makemake lākou e aʻo i nā keiki e kūʻokoʻa, mai makaʻu i nā pilikia.
Ua hiki mai, o ka papa, a me kekahi mea 'ē aʻe: hoʻokahi, uninteresting, a me ka makua pono'ī 'aʻole i ike pehea e. ʻO kēia mau "manaʻo aʻo aʻoaʻo" a me nā "kumu maikaʻi" ʻo ia nā mea pale nui i ka hoʻokō ʻana i kā mākou Rula 2. E kākau mua kāua ma nā ʻōlelo ākea, a ma hope i nā kikoʻī hou aku, me nā wehewehe. Rula 2
Inā paʻakikī i kahi keiki a ua mākaukau ʻo ia e ʻae i kāu kōkua, e ʻoluʻolu e kōkua iā ia.
He mea maikaʻi loa ke hoʻomaka me nā huaʻōlelo: «E hele pū kāua." ʻO kēia mau huaʻōlelo kupua e wehe i ka puka no ke keiki i nā mākau hou, ʻike a me nā leʻaleʻa.
I ka nānā mua ʻana me he mea lā ua kūʻē nā Rules 1 a me 2 kekahi i kekahi. Eia naʻe, ʻike ʻia kēia kūʻē. Hōʻike wale lākou i nā kūlana like ʻole. Ma nā kūlana i pili ai ka Rule 1, ʻaʻole noi ke keiki i ke kōkua a kūʻē hoʻi ke hāʻawi ʻia. Hoʻohana ʻia ka Rule 2 inā noi pololei ke keiki i ke kōkua, a hoʻopiʻi paha ʻo ia "ʻaʻole kūleʻa", "ʻaʻole hana", "ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike pehea", a haʻalele paha i ka hana āna i hoʻomaka ai ma hope o ka hana mua. hāʻule. ʻO kekahi o kēia mau hōʻike he hōʻailona ia e pono ai ke kōkua.
ʻAʻole ʻōlelo aʻo maikaʻi wale kā mākou Rula 2. Hoʻokumu ʻia ia ma ke kānāwai noʻonoʻo i ʻike ʻia e ke kanaka psychologist koʻikoʻi ʻo Lev Semyonovich Vygotsky. Ua kapa ʻia ʻo ia "ka wahi o ke keiki o ka ulu kokoke." Nui koʻu manaʻo e ʻike pono kēlā me kēia makua i kēia kānāwai. E haʻi pōkole wau iā ʻoe.
Ua ʻike ʻia i kēlā me kēia makahiki no kēlā me kēia keiki he palena palena o nā mea hiki iā ia ke mālama iā ia iho. Ma waho o kēia pōʻai he mau mea i hiki iā ia ke komo wale me ke komo ʻana o ke kanaka makua, a i ʻole hiki ke komo.
No ka laʻana, hiki i ke keiki kula kiʻekiʻe ke hoʻopaʻa i nā pihi, holoi i kona mau lima, waiho i nā mea pāʻani, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke hoʻonohonoho pono i kāna mau hana i ka lā. ʻO ia ke kumu i loko o ka ʻohana o kahi keiki preschooler nā huaʻōlelo makua "ʻO ka manawa", "ʻĀnō mākou", "E ʻai mua mākou, a laila ..."
E kaha kiʻi maʻalahi: hoʻokahi pōʻai i loko o kekahi. ʻO ka pōʻai liʻiliʻi e hōʻike i nā mea a pau e hiki ai i ke keiki ke hana ma kāna iho, a ʻo ka wahi ma waena o nā palena o nā pōʻai liʻiliʻi a me nā pōʻai nui e hōʻike i nā mea a ke keiki e hana ai me kahi kanaka makua. Ma waho aʻe o ka pōʻai nui e loaʻa nā hana i ʻoi aku ma mua o ka mana o ia wale nō a i ʻole me kona mau kūpuna.
I kēia manawa hiki iā mākou ke wehewehe i ka mea i ʻike ʻia e LS Vygotsky. Ua hōʻike ʻo ia i ka ulu ʻana o ke keiki, piʻi ka nui o nā hana āna e hoʻomaka ai e hana kūʻokoʻa ma muli o kēlā mau hana āna i hana mua ai me kahi kanaka makua, ʻaʻole nā hana ma waho o kā mākou pōʻai. ʻO ia hoʻi, ʻapōpō e hana ke keiki iā ia iho i kāna mea i hana ai i kēia lā me kona makuahine, a no ka mea "me kona makuahine". ʻO ka ʻāpana o nā mea i hui pū ʻia ka mālama gula o ke keiki, kona hiki no ka wā e hiki mai ana. ʻO ia ke kumu i kapa ʻia ai ka zone of proximal development. E noʻonoʻo ʻoe no kahi keiki he ākea kēia ʻāpana, ʻo ia hoʻi, hana nui nā mākua me ia, a no kekahi he haiki, no ka mea, haʻalele pinepine nā mākua iā ia iho. E ulu wikiwiki ana ke keiki mua, ʻoi aku ka hilinaʻi, ʻoi aku ka lanakila, ʻoi aku ka pōmaikaʻi.
I kēia manawa, ke manaʻolana nei au, e maopopo iā ʻoe ke kumu e haʻalele ai i kahi keiki i kahi mea paʻakikī iā ia "no nā kumu aʻoaʻo" he kuhihewa. ʻO ke ʻano kēia ʻaʻole e noʻonoʻo i ke kānāwai psychological kumu o ka hoʻomohala ʻana!
Pono wau e ʻōlelo he maikaʻi nā keiki a ʻike i nā mea e pono ai lākou i kēia manawa. Ehia mau manawa a lākou e nīnau ai: "E pāʻani me aʻu", "E hele mākou e hele wāwae", "E kamaʻilio kākou", "E lawe pū me ʻoe", "E hiki paha iaʻu ke ...". A inā ʻaʻohe kumu koʻikoʻi no ka hōʻole ʻana a lohi paha, e hoʻokahi wale nō pane: "ʻAe!".
A he aha ka hana inā hōʻole mau nā mākua? E haʻi wau ma ke ʻano he hoʻohālike i ke kamaʻilio ʻana ma kahi kūkākūkā psychological.
MAKUAHINE: He keiki ʻē kaʻu, ʻaʻole paha maʻamau. I kēia mau lā, e noho ana māua me kaʻu kāne i ka lumi kuke, e kamaʻilio ana, a wehe ʻo ia i ka puka, a hele pololei i ka lawe ʻana me ka lāʻau, a paʻi pololei!
NINAU NINAU: Pehea ʻoe e hoʻolilo pinepine ai me ia?
MAKUAHINE: Me ia? ʻAe, ʻaʻole au e hele. A i ka manawa hea iaʻu? Ma ka hale, hana au i nā hana. A hele ʻo ia me kona huelo: pāʻani a pāʻani pū me aʻu. A haʻi aku wau iā ia: "E waiho wale iaʻu, e pāʻani iā ʻoe iho, ʻaʻole lawa kāu mau mea pāʻani?"
NINAnau: A ʻo kāu kāne, ke pāʻani nei ʻo ia me ia?
MAKUAHINE: He aha ʻoe! Ke hoʻi mai kaʻu kāne mai ka hana, nānā koke ʻo ia i ka sofa a me ka TV ...
NINAnau: Ke hoʻokokoke nei kāu keiki iā ia?
MAKUAHINE: ʻOiaʻiʻo, hana ʻo ia, akā kipaku ʻo ia iā ia. "Aole anei oe e ike, ua luhi au, e hele i kou makuahine!"
He mea kahaha maoli anei ua huli ke keiki makehewa "i ke ano kino o ka mana"? ʻO kona huhū he pane ia i ke ʻano o ke kamaʻilio ʻana (ʻoi aku ka pololei, ʻaʻole kamaʻilio) me kona mau mākua. ʻAʻole kōkua wale kēia ʻano i ka ulu ʻana o ke keiki, akā i kekahi manawa ke kumu o kāna mau pilikia koʻikoʻi.
I kēia manawa, e nānā kākou i kekahi laʻana kikoʻī o ka hoʻohana ʻana
Māhele 2
Ua ʻike ʻia he poʻe keiki makemake ʻole i ka heluhelu. Ua huhū ko lākou mau mākua a ho'āʻo lākou e maʻa i ke keiki i ka puke. Eia naʻe, pinepine ʻaʻohe mea e hana.
Ua ʻōhumu kekahi mau mākua kamaʻāina no ka heluhelu liʻiliʻi o kā lākou keiki. Ua makemake lāua ʻelua e ulu ʻo ia ma ke ʻano he kanaka naʻauao a heluhelu maikaʻi. He poʻe paʻahana loa lākou, no laila ua kaupalena lākou iā lākou iho i ka loaʻa ʻana o nā puke "mea hoihoi" a kau i ka papaʻaina no kā lākou keiki. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hoʻomanaʻo mau lākou, a koi aku, e noho ʻo ia e heluhelu. Akā naʻe, ua hele ke keiki me ka manaʻo ʻole i nā pūʻulu holoʻokoʻa o nā moʻolelo noʻonoʻo a hele i waho e pāʻani pôpeku me nā kāne.
Aia kekahi ala ʻoiaʻiʻo a nā mākua i ʻike ai a e ʻike mau ana: e heluhelu pū me ke keiki. He nui nā ʻohana e heluhelu leo nui i kahi keiki kamaliʻi i kamaʻāina ʻole i nā leka. Akā, ke hoʻomau nei kekahi mau mākua i kēia hana ma hope aku, i ka wā e hele ana kā lākou keikikāne a kaikamahine paha i ke kula, e hoʻomaopopo koke wau i ka nīnau: "Pehea ka lōʻihi e heluhelu ai au me kahi keiki i aʻo mua i ka hoʻokomo ʻana i nā leka i nā huaʻōlelo? ” — ʻaʻole hiki ke pane pololei ʻia. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻokoʻa ka wikiwiki o ka automation o ka Heluhelu no nā keiki āpau (ma muli o nā ʻano pilikino o ko lākou lolo). No laila, he mea nui e kōkua i ke keiki e lawe i ka ʻike o ka puke i ka wā paʻakikī o ke aʻo ʻana i ka heluhelu.
I loko o kahi papa makua, ua hōʻike kekahi makuahine i ke ʻano o ka hoihoi ʻana i kāna keikikāne e iwa makahiki:
“ʻAʻole makemake nui ʻo Vova i nā puke, heluhelu mālie ʻo ia, palaualelo. A ma muli o kona heluhelu nui ʻole, ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke aʻo koke i ka heluhelu. No laila, ua like ia me ka pōʻai ʻino. He aha ka hana? Ua hoʻoholo e hoihoi iā ia. Hoʻomaka wau e koho i nā puke hoihoi a heluhelu iā ia i ka pō. Piʻi ʻo ia i kahi moe a kali iaʻu e hoʻopau i kaʻu mau hana o ka hale.
Heluhelu — a ua hauʻoli lāua ʻelua: he aha ka mea e hiki mai ana? ʻO ka manawa kēia e hoʻopau ai i ke kukui, a ʻo ia: "Mama, e ʻoluʻolu, maikaʻi, hoʻokahi ʻaoʻao hou!" A hoihoi wau iaʻu iho ... A laila ua ʻae lākou: ʻelima mau minuke hou - a ʻo ia nō. ʻOiai, ua kakali ʻo ia i ke ahiahi aʻe. A i kekahi manawa ʻaʻole ʻo ia i kali, heluhelu ʻo ia i ka moʻolelo a hiki i ka hopena, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole nui i koe. ʻAʻole wau i haʻi hou aku iā ia, akā ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia iaʻu: "E heluhelu ʻoiaʻiʻo!" ʻOiaʻiʻo, ua hoʻāʻo wau e heluhelu i mea e hoʻomaka pū ai i kahi moʻolelo hou i ke ahiahi. No laila, hoʻomaka mālie ʻo ia e lawe i ka puke ma kona mau lima, a i kēia manawa, hiki mai, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke haehae!
ʻAʻole kēia moʻolelo he mea hoʻohālike maikaʻi loa no ka hana ʻana o ka makua i kahi ʻāpana o ka ulu kokoke ʻana no kāna keiki a kōkua iā ia e haku. Ua hōʻike ʻo ia me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i ka wā e hana ai nā mākua e like me ke kānāwai i wehewehe ʻia, he maʻalahi iā lākou ke mālama i ka pilina aloha a me ka lokomaikaʻi me kā lākou mau keiki.
Ua hele mai mākou e kākau i ka Rula 2 i kona holoʻokoʻa.
Inā pilikia ke keiki a ua mākaukau e ʻae i kāu kōkua, e ʻoluʻolu e kōkua iā ia. ma kahi:
1. E lawe wale i ka mea hiki ole ke hana ia ia iho, e waiho i ke koena nana e hana.
2. I ka haku ʻana o ke keiki i nā hana hou, e hoʻololi mālie iā ia.
E like me kāu e ʻike ai, wehewehe pololei ʻo Rule 2 i ke ʻano o ke kōkua ʻana i ke keiki i kahi mea paʻakikī. Hōʻike maikaʻi ka laʻana ma lalo nei i ke ʻano o nā pauku hou o kēia lula.
Ua aʻo paha ka nui o ʻoukou i kāu keiki i ka holo kaʻa kaʻa huila ʻelua. Hoʻomaka maʻamau me ka noho ʻana o ke keiki i ka noho, nalowale ke kaulike a hoʻāʻo e hāʻule pū me ke kaʻa. Pono ʻoe e hopu i nā ʻauamo me ka lima hoʻokahi a me ka noho lio me kekahi e mālama pono i ke kaʻa. I kēia pae, kokoke nā mea a pau e hana ʻia e ʻoe: ke lawe nei ʻoe i ke kaʻa kaʻa, a ʻo ke keiki ke hoʻāʻo wale nei e hele wāwae me ka hopohopo. Eia naʻe, ma hope o kekahi manawa ʻike ʻoe ua hoʻomaka ʻo ia e hoʻoponopono pono i ka huila, a laila wehe mālie ʻoe i kou lima.
Ma hope o kekahi manawa, hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻalele i ka huila hoʻokele a holo mai hope, e kākoʻo wale ana i ka noho. ʻO ka hope, manaʻo ʻoe hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokuʻu i ka noho noho no kekahi manawa, e ʻae i ke keiki e holo i kekahi mau mika ma kāna iho, ʻoiai ua mākaukau ʻoe e kiʻi hou iā ia i kēlā me kēia manawa. A hiki mai ka manawa e holo wiwo ʻole ai ʻo ia iā ia iho!
Inā ʻoe e nānā pono i nā ʻoihana hou a nā keiki e aʻo ai me kāu kōkua, nui nā mea e huli like. Hoʻoikaika mau nā keiki a ke hoʻoikaika mau nei lākou e lawe i kāu mea e hana nei.
Inā, e pāʻani ana i ke kaʻaahi uila me kāna keiki, e hui mua ka makua kāne i nā kaʻa a hoʻohui i ka transformer i ka pūnaewele, a ma hope o kekahi manawa, hoʻoikaika ke keiki e hana iā ia iho, a waiho i nā alahao ma kekahi ʻano hoihoi o kāna iho.
Ina ua haehae ka makuahine i ka palaoa no kana kaikamahine, a e hana oia i pai "na keiki", i keia manawa, makemake ke kaikamahine e kawili a oki iho i ka palaoa.
He mea nui loa ka makemake o ke keiki e lanakila i na "'āina" hou a pau, a he mea pono ke kiai ia e like me ka ohia o ka maka.
Ua hiki mai paha mākou i ka mea maʻalahi loa: pehea e pale ai i ka hana kūlohelohe o ke keiki? Pehea ʻaʻole e kiʻi, ʻaʻole e hoʻopau i waho?
Pehea e hiki ai
Ua mālama ʻia kahi noiʻi ma waena o nā ʻōpio: kōkua lākou ma ka home i ka hana hale? ʻO ka hapa nui o nā haumāna ma ka papa 4-6 i pane i ka ʻino. I ka manawa like, hōʻike nā keiki i ka hauʻoli ʻole i ka ʻae ʻole o ko lākou mau mākua iā lākou e hana i nā hana he nui o ka hale: ʻaʻole lākou e ʻae iā lākou e kuke, holoi a hao, hele i ka hale kūʻai. Ma waena o nā haumāna ma ka papa 7-8, ua like ka nui o nā keiki i hoʻohana ʻole ʻia ma ka hale, akā ua emi ka nui o ka poʻe i ʻoluʻolu ʻole!
Ua hōʻike kēia hopena i ka pau ʻana o ka makemake o nā keiki e ʻeleu, e lawe i nā hana like ʻole, inā ʻaʻole kōkua nā mākua i kēia. ʻO nā ʻōlelo hōʻino hou ʻana i nā keiki he "palaualelo", "ʻike ʻole", "pilikia" e like me ka mea ʻole. Keia mau «palaualelo», «irresponsibility», «egoism» makou, na makua, me ka ike ole ia, hana i kekahi manawa ia makou iho.
ʻIke ʻia he pilikia nā mākua ma ʻaneʻi.
ʻO ka pilikia mua hoʻoneʻe mua loa kou mahele no ke keiki. I kā mākou laʻana kaʻa kaʻa, ua like kēia me ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana i nā pahu lima a me ka noho ma hope o ʻelima mau minuke. ʻO ka hāʻule hikiʻole i ia mau hihia ke alakaʻi i kaʻoiaʻiʻo e nalowale ke keiki i ka makemake e noho ma luna o ke kaʻa.
ʻO ka lua o ka pilikia ʻo ia ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe. lōʻihi loa a hoʻomau i ke komo ʻana o nā mākua, no laila e ʻōlelo ai, hoʻokele hoʻoluhi, ma kahi ʻoihana hui. A eia hou, he kōkua maikaʻi kā mākou laʻana e ʻike i kēia hewa.
E noʻonoʻo: he makua, e paʻa ana i ke kaʻa kaʻa ma ka huila a me ka noho lio, e holo ana ma hope o ke keiki no hoʻokahi lā, kekona, ke kolu, hoʻokahi pule ... E aʻo anei ʻo ia i ka holo ma kona iho? Paʻakikī. ʻO ka mea nui, e hōʻoluʻolu ʻo ia i kēia hoʻoikaika kino ʻole. A he mea pono ke alo o ke kanaka makua!
Ma nā haʻawina aʻe, e hoʻi hou mākou i nā pilikia o nā keiki a me nā mākua e pili ana i nā hana o kēlā me kēia lā. A ʻo ka manawa kēia e neʻe ai i nā hana.
Nā hana home
Hana hoʻokahi
E koho i kahi mea e hoʻomaka ai me ka maikaʻi ʻole o kāu keiki. E manaʻo iā ia: "E hele pū!" E nana i kona manao; inā makemake ʻo ia, e hana pū me ia. E nānā pono i nā manawa e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaha («e hoʻokuʻu i ka huila»), akā, mai hana koke a hikiwawe paha. E hōʻailona i ka mua, ʻo nā kūleʻa kūʻokoʻa liʻiliʻi o ke keiki; E hoʻomaikaʻi iā ia (a me ʻoe pū kekahi!).
Hana ʻelua
E koho i ʻelua mau mea hou āu e makemake ai e aʻo ke keiki e hana ma kāna iho. E hana hou i ka hana like. Eia hou, e hoʻomaikaʻi iā ia a me ʻoe iho i kona kūleʻa.
Hana ʻekolu
E ʻoluʻolu e pāʻani, kamaʻilio, kamaʻilio puʻuwai me kāu keiki i ka lā i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka manawa me ʻoe.
Nā nīnau mai nā mākua
NINAU: E hao anei au i ke keiki me keia mau hana mau? E maʻa i ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā mea a pau iaʻu.
PANE: Ua kūpono kou hopohopo, i ka manawa like e pili ana iā ʻoe i ka nui a me ka lōʻihi o kāu e lawe ai i kāna mau hana.
NINAU: He aha kaʻu e hana ai inā ʻaʻohe oʻu manawa e mālama ai i kaʻu keiki?
PANE: I koʻu hoʻomaopopo ʻana, loaʻa iā ʻoe nā mea "ʻoi aku ka nui" e hana ai. He mea pono ke hoʻomaopopo ʻoe e koho i ke ʻano o ka mea nui iā ʻoe iho. Ma kēia koho, hiki iā ʻoe ke kōkua ʻia e ka ʻoiaʻiʻo i ʻike ʻia e nā mākua he ʻumi mau manawa a me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana e hoʻoponopono i ka mea i nalowale i ka hānai ʻana i nā keiki.
NINAU: A inā ʻaʻole hana ke keiki iā ia iho, a ʻaʻole ʻae i kaʻu kōkua?
PANE: Me he mea lā ua loaʻa iā ʻoe nā pilikia pili i kou pilina. E kamaʻilio mākou e pili ana iā lākou ma ka haʻawina e hiki mai ana.
"A inā ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia?"
Ua aʻo ke keiki i nā hana obligatory he nui, ʻaʻohe kumu kūʻai iā ia e hōʻiliʻili i nā mea pāʻani i hoʻopuehu ʻia i loko o kahi pahu, hana i kahi moena a waiho i nā puke i loko o kahi pahu pōkole i ke ahiahi. Akā, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hana i kēia mau mea a pau!
"Pehea e noho ai ma ia mau hihia? ninau na makua. "E hana hou me ia?" E nana →