Hiki iā lākou ke lilo i poʻe kamaʻāina iā mākou, i waho a pōmaikaʻi. Akā ʻaʻole mākou ʻike i ka mea e hana nei ma ko lākou home. A inā ʻaʻa lākou e ʻōlelo, ʻaʻohe mea e manaʻo nui i kā lākou ʻōlelo. ʻO ke kanaka ka mea i hoʻomāinoino ʻia? Ua pepehi kāna wahine iā ia? ʻAʻole hiki mai!
He mea paʻakikī iaʻu ke ʻimi i nā moʻolelo pilikino no kēia kikokikona. Ua nīnau au i koʻu mau hoaaloha inā ua ʻike lākou i nā ʻohana like ʻole kahi e hahau ai ka wahine i kāna kāne. A kokoke i nā manawa a pau, pane mai lākou iaʻu me ka ʻakaʻaka a i ʻole ka nīnau ʻana: "Malia paha, he mau wahine makehewa kēia i hahau i kā lākou kāne e inu a hoʻohana i ka lāʻau?" ʻAʻole paha e manaʻo kekahi e ʻae ʻia ka hana ʻino, ʻoiai ʻoiai hiki ke ʻakaʻaka ʻia.
No hea mai kēia mea hoʻohenehene? ʻAʻole paha mākou i manaʻo e hiki ke kuhikuhi ʻia ka hana ʻino home i ke kāne. He mea ʻē paha ia… A kū koke nā nīnau: pehea e hiki ai? Pehea e lanakila ai ka nawaliwali i ka mea ikaika a no ke aha e hoomanawanui ai ka poe ikaika? ʻO ia ke ʻano he ikaika wale nō ʻo ia ma ke kino, akā nāwaliwali i loko. He aha kāna e makaʻu ai? ʻAʻole mahalo iā ia iho?
ʻAʻole hōʻike ʻia ia mau hihia ma ka nūpepa a ma ke kīwī paha. Hāmau nā kāne no ia mea. Pono wau e wehewehe ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hoʻopiʻi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hele i ka mākaʻi. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, uaʻike lākou ua hoʻopaʻiʻia lākou i ka hoʻohewa a me ka hoʻohenehene. A ʻo ka mea nui loa, hoʻāhewa lākou iā lākou iho. ʻO kā mākou makemake ʻole e noʻonoʻo iā lākou a me ko lākou makemake ʻole e kamaʻilio e wehewehe ʻia e ka ʻike patriarchal e hoʻomalu nei iā mākou.
ʻAʻole hiki ke hahau i hope: ʻo ia hoʻi, e hoʻōki i ke kāne, e hana pono ʻole. He mea weliweli ka hemo ana a me he mea la he nawaliwali
E hoʻomanaʻo kākou i ka flash mob #ʻAʻole wau makaʻu e ʻōlelo. ʻO ka haʻi ʻana o nā wahine i hoʻomāinoino ʻia ua loaʻa ke aloha pumehana mai kekahi a me nā ʻōlelo hōʻino mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Akā, ʻaʻole mākou i heluhelu ma nā pūnaewele kaiapuni i ka haʻi ʻana o nā kāne i hōʻeha ʻia i kā lākou wahine.
ʻAʻole kēia he mea kupanaha, wahi a Sergei Enikolopov, ʻo ka mea hoʻonaʻauao kanaka: "I kā mākou hui, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka kala ʻia ʻana o ke kāne no ka hana ʻino i ka wahine ma mua o ko lākou hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ke kāne e hoʻomāinoino ʻia i ka home." ʻO kahi wale nō e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo i kēia me ka leo nui ʻo ke keʻena o ka psychotherapist.
Kālā
ʻO ka pinepine, piʻi mai nā moʻolelo e pili ana i ka hahau ʻana o ka wahine i kāna kāne i ka wā e hele mai ai kahi kāne a ʻohana paha i ka hoʻokipa, wahi a ka psychotherapist ʻohana Inna Khamitova. Akā i kekahi manawa huli nā kāne i kahi psychologist e pili ana i kēia. ʻO ka mea maʻamau, he poʻe pōmaikaʻi kēia poʻe i hiki ʻole ke kānalua i ka poʻe i hoʻopilikia ʻia. Pehea lākou e wehewehe ai i ke kumu o ko lākou ʻae ʻana i kēlā ʻano hana?
ʻAʻole ʻike kekahi i ka mea e hana ai. ʻAʻole hiki ke hahau i hope: ʻo ia hoʻi, e hoʻōki i ke kāne, e hana pono ʻole. He mea weliweli ka hemo ana a me he mea la he nawaliwali. A pehea e hoʻoponopono ai i kēia hakakā hoʻohaʻahaʻa, ʻaʻole maopopo. "Ke manaʻo ʻole nei lākou i ka mana a me ka manaʻo ʻole no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou i ʻike i kahi ala i waho," wahi a ka mea lapaʻau ʻohana.
Wahine puuwai ole
Aia ka lua o ka koho, ke makau maoli ke kanaka i kona hoa. Hana kēia i kēlā mau kāne i loaʻa i ka wahine nā ʻano sociopathic: ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i nā palena o ka mea i ʻae ʻia, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i ke ʻano o ke aloha, ke aloha, ke aloha.
"E like me ke kānāwai, ʻo kāna mea i hōʻeha ʻia he kanaka palekana ʻo ia ka mea i hoʻopiʻi nui iā ia iho no ka mālama ʻia ʻana o kēia ʻano," wehewehe ʻo Inna Khamitova. "I kona manaʻo, ʻo ia ke kanaka ʻino, ʻaʻole ʻo ia." ʻO kēia ka manaʻo o ka poʻe i hōʻeha ʻia i ka ʻohana makua, ka mea i loaʻa i ka hana ʻino i ka wā kamaliʻi. Ke hoʻomaka nā wāhine e hoʻohaʻahaʻa iā lākou, ua haʻihaʻi loa lākou.
ʻOi aku ka paʻakikī o nā mea ke loaʻa nā keiki a ka kāne. Manaʻo paha lākou i ka makua kāne a inaina i ka makuahine. Akā inā ʻaʻole naʻaupō ka makuahine, hoʻohuli ke keiki i kekahi manawa i kahi ʻano pale pathological e like me "ka ʻike me ka mea hoʻoweliweli": kākoʻo ʻo ia i ka hoʻomāinoino ʻana i ka makua kāne i ʻole e lilo i mea hōʻeha iā ia iho. "I kēlā me kēia hihia, loaʻa i ke keiki kahi trauma psychological e hoʻopilikia i kona ola e hiki mai ana," ʻo Inna Khamitova i maopopo.
Ke nānā aku nei ke kūlana me ka manaʻolana ʻole. Hiki i ka psychotherapy ke hoʻihoʻi i nā pilina olakino? Ke hilinaʻi nei inā hiki i ka wahine i loko o kēia mau kāne ke hoʻololi, manaʻoʻiʻo ka mea lapaʻau ʻohana. ʻO ka Sociopathy, no ka laʻana, ʻaʻole hiki ke mālama ʻia, a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka haʻalele ʻana i kahi pilina ʻona.
"ʻO kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i ka wā e pale aku ai ka wahine iā ia iho mai kāna mau hōʻeha ponoʻī, kahi āna i hana ai i kāna kāne. E ʻōlelo kākou he makua kāne hoʻomāinoino kāna i hahau iā ia. I mea e pale aku ai i kēia hana hou ʻana, i kēia manawa ua kuʻi ʻo ia. ʻAʻole no kona makemake, akā no ka pale ʻana iā ia iho, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe mea e hoʻouka iā ia. Inā ʻike ʻo ia i kēia, hiki ke hoʻāla hou ʻia kahi pilina mehana.
Huikau kuleana
Nui aʻe nā kāne i hōʻeha ʻia i ka hana ʻino. ʻO ke kumu nui ke ʻano o ka loli ʻana o nā kuleana wahine a me nā kāne i kēia mau lā.
"Ua komo nā wahine i ka honua kāne a hana e like me kāna mau lula: ke aʻo nei lākou, hana, hiki i ke kiʻekiʻe o ka ʻoihana, komo i ka hoʻokūkū ma ke ʻano like me nā kāne," wahi a Sergey Enikolopov. A hoʻokuʻu ʻia ka ʻāʻī ʻana i ka home. A inā ma mua o ka huhū i nā wahine i hōʻike pinepine ʻia iā ia iho ma kahi ʻano ʻōlelo ʻole - ʻōlelo ʻino, "hairpins", ʻōlelo hōʻino, i kēia manawa ua huli pinepine lākou i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa kino ... ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hoʻokō.
"ʻO ka launa pū ʻana o nā kāne ua komo mau i ka hiki ke hoʻomalu i kā lākou huhū," wahi a Sergey Enikolopov. - Ma ka moʻomeheu Lūkini, no ka laʻana, aia nā keikikāne i kēia mea: "hakakā i ke koko mua", "ʻaʻole lākou e hahau i ka moe ʻana". Akā ʻaʻohe mea i aʻo i nā kaikamahine a ʻaʻole i aʻo iā lākou e kāohi i kā lākou huhū. "
Ke hoapono nei anei makou i ka hana ino no ka mea he wahine ka mea nana i hana ino?
Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, manaʻo nā wahine i nā kāne e mālama, ʻoluʻolu, akahai. Akā i ka manawa like, ʻaʻole i pau nā stereotypes o ke kāne, a he mea paʻakikī iā mākou ke ʻae he hiki i nā wahine ke hana ʻino maoli, a hiki i nā kāne ke palupalu a palupalu. A ʻo mākou ke aloha ʻole i nā kāne.
"ʻOiai he mea paʻakikī keʻae aʻaʻole iʻike ka lehulehu, akā,ʻo ke kanaka i hahauʻia e ka wahine, ua nalowale kona kūlana ma keʻano he kāne," wahi a ka psychoanalyst a me ke kauka psychologist Serge Efez. "Ke manaʻo nei mākou he mea lapuwale kēia, ʻaʻole mākou manaʻo he hiki kēia. Akā he mea pono ke kākoʻo i ka mea i hoʻopilikia ʻia. "
Me he mea lā ua ʻike mua mākou he hewa mau ke kāne no ka hana ʻino i ka wahine. Akā, ʻo ia ka mea i ka hihia o ka hana ʻino i ke kanaka, ʻo ia iho ka hewa? Ke hoapono nei anei makou i ka hana ino no ka mea he wahine ka mea nana i hana ino? "Ua nui koʻu ikaika no ka hoʻoholo ʻana i ka hemo ʻana," i ʻōlelo ai kekahi o ka poʻe aʻu i kamaʻilio pū ai. No laila, he mea hou anei ka wiwo ʻole? Me he mea lā ua pā mākou i kahi hopena make…