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No kekahi mau makuahine, ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana i kahi hapa o ka mālama a me ka hoʻonaʻauao ʻana i kā lākou keiki, ʻo ia ka haʻalele ʻana iā ia. ʻO kēia mau wahine i ʻike ʻia i ka mana makuahine a hiki i kekahi manawa o ka ʻae ʻole ʻana i ka makua kāne e pani i kona wahi e pilikia ai i kēia pilikia o ka hiki ʻole ke hoʻokuʻu. ʻO ko lākou pilina me ko lākou makuahine ponoʻī a me ka hewa i loaʻa i ka makuahine he mau wehewehe hiki ke wehewehe.
Paʻakikī i ka hāʻawi ʻana ... a i ʻole ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana
Ke hoʻomanaʻo nei au i ke kauwela i koʻu hāʻawi ʻana i kaʻu mau keikikāne i koʻu makuahōnōwai wahine e noho nei ma Marseille. Ua uē au a hiki i Avignon! A i ʻole ʻo Marseille-Avignon e like me 100km… ka like me hoʻokahi haneli mau lima lima! "No ka haʻi ʻana i nā kaʻawale mua loa me kāna mau keikikāne (5 a me 6 mau makahiki i kēia lā), ua koho ʻo Anne, 34, i ka ʻakaʻaka. ʻO Laure, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e holomua. A i ka haʻi ʻana o kēia makuahine he 32 mau makahiki pehea, ʻelima mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ua hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e hoʻokomo i kāna liʻiliʻi ʻo Jérémie - 2 a me ka hapa mahina i kēlā manawa - i loko o kahi kahu hānai, manaʻo mākou ua paʻakikī ke kumuhana. "ʻAʻole hiki iā ia ke hele i hoʻokahi hola me aʻu ʻole, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i mākaukau," wahi āna. No ka mea, ʻoiai inā haʻalele wau iā ia mai kona hānau ʻana i kaʻu kāne a i koʻu kaikuahine, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hiamoe me koʻu alo. »He pēpē addicted i kona makuahine a i ʻole ma ke ʻano ʻē aʻe? He aha ka mea nui iā Laure, a laila hoʻoholo e haʻalele i kāna keiki mai ke kula hānai - e kali ʻo ia a hiki i ka makahiki 1 e haʻalele iā ia ma laila no ka maikaʻi.
Ke ʻike ʻole ʻia e kekahi ...
ʻO nā hoʻomanaʻo e ʻeha, nui ka wā e hoʻokokoke ai ʻoe i ka pilikia o ke kaʻawale. ʻO Julie, 47, he mea kōkua mālama keiki ma kahi crèche, ʻike i kekahi mea e pili ana iā ia. "Ua hoʻonohonoho kekahi mau makuahine i nā hoʻolālā pale. Hāʻawi lākou iā mākou i nā kuhikuhi i ke ʻano "ʻike wau," "wahi āna. "Pili lākou i nā kikoʻī: pono ʻoe e hoʻomaʻemaʻe i kāu pēpē me nā holoi holoi, hoʻomoe iā ia i kēlā me kēia manawa," hoʻomau ʻo ia. Hūnā ia i kahi ʻeha, pono e mālama i kahi paʻa. Hoʻomaopopo mākou iā lākou ʻaʻole mākou ma ʻaneʻi e pani i ko lākou wahi. No kēia mau makuahine i manaʻoʻiʻo ʻo lākou wale nō ka poʻe "ʻike" - pehea e hānai ai i kā lākou keiki, uhi iā ia a hoʻomoe paha - ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana he hōʻike ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o ka crystallizing mālama keiki. No ka mea, ʻo ko lākou pono e hoʻomalu i nā mea a pau, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī: e hāʻawi iā ia, ʻoiai no hoʻokahi hola, i kā lākou kāne a i ko lākou makuahōnōwai wahine he paʻakikī. ʻO ka hopena, ʻo ka mea a lākou e ʻae ʻole ai, ʻo ka mālama ʻana o kekahi i kā lākou keiki a hana, ma ka wehewehe ʻana, hana ʻokoʻa.
… ʻaʻole ʻo ka makuakāne
ʻO kēia ka hihia o Sandra, 37, makuahine o Lisa liʻiliʻi, 2 mau mahina. "Mai ka hānau ʻana o kaʻu kaikamahine, ua hoʻopaʻa wau iaʻu iho i kahi paradox maoli: pono wau i ke kōkua, akā i ka manawa like, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o koʻu manaʻo ma mua o kekahi i ka mālama ʻana i kaʻu kaikamahine. a mai ka hale mai paha, wahi ana, me ke kaumaha iki. I ka piha ʻana o Lisa i hoʻokahi mahina, hāʻawi wau i kona makuakāne i mau hola e hele ai i nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni. A hoʻi au i ka home i hoʻokahi hola ma hope o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ke kiʻiʻoniʻoni! ʻAʻole hiki ke noʻonoʻo i ka manaʻo. Me he mea lā ʻaʻole wau i komo i loko o kēia hale kiʻiʻoniʻoni, ʻaʻole au i piha. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka hilinaʻi ʻana i kaʻu kaikamahine naʻu e haʻalele iā ia. ʻO ka hopohopo, ʻaʻole naʻe ʻo Sandra. No ia, pili kona ʻano i kona mōʻaukala ponoʻī a me nā hopohopo kaʻawale e hoʻi i kona wā kamaliʻi.
E nānā i kona wā kamaliʻi
Wahi a ke keiki psychiatrist a psychoanalyst Myriam Szejer, ʻo kēia kahi e pono ai mākou e nānā: "ʻO ka paʻakikī o ka hāʻawi ʻana ma muli o kāna pilina me kona makuahine ponoʻī. ʻO ia ke kumu e hāʻawi wale ai kekahi mau makuahine i kā lākou keiki i ko lākou makuahine a ʻo kekahi, ʻaʻole naʻe e hāʻawi iā ia. Hoʻi ia i ka neurosis ʻohana. Hiki i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kona makuahine ke kōkua i nā mea nui? "ʻAʻole. ʻO ka mea e pono ai ka hoʻoikaika ʻana e nīnau i nā kumu i kūleʻa ʻole ai mākou. I kekahi manawa ʻaʻohe mea e pono ai. A inā hiki ʻole ke kaʻawale, pono ʻoe e loaʻa i ke kōkua, no ka mea hiki ke loaʻa nā hopena psychic i ke keiki, "wahi a ka psychoanalyst.
A ma ka ʻaoʻao o ka hewa hiki ʻole o nā makuahine
Hoʻāʻo ʻo Sylvain, 40, e nānā i kāna mea e hana nei me kāna wahine, ʻo Sophie, 36, a me kā lāua mau keiki ʻekolu. "Ua hoʻonoho ʻo ia i ka pae kiʻekiʻe loa, no kona ola pilikino a ʻoihana. I kekahi manawa, makemake ʻo ia e uku i kona haʻalele ʻana mai ka hana ma ka hana ʻana i nā hana āpau ma ka home. "ʻO Sophie, ka mea i hoʻoikaika nui iā ia iho no nā makahiki, ua hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo ia:" I ko lākou wā liʻiliʻi, ua hoʻokomo wau iā lākou i loko o ka nursery me kahi kuni. Ua hewa au i kēia lā! ʻO kēia mau mea no ka hana… "Hiki iā mākou ke pakele i ka hewa? "Ma ka hāʻawi ʻana, ʻike nā makuahine i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ka loaʻa ʻole o kā lākou hana - me ka ʻole o ka ʻoihana. Ke alakaʻi nei kēia i ke ʻano o ka hewa, wahi a Myriam Szejer. ʻO ka hoʻololi ʻana o ke ʻano ma mua, me ka ʻelele intra-ʻohana, ua maʻalahi. ʻAʻole mākou i nīnau iā mākou iho i ka nīnau, ua emi ka hewa. Eia nō naʻe, inā mau lākou i hoʻokahi hola a i hoʻokahi lā, inā he mau manawa a maʻamau paha, ʻae kēia mau hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i kahi rebalancing koʻikoʻi.
ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale, pono no kona kūʻokoʻa
No laila ʻike ka pēpē i nā ʻano hana ʻē aʻe, nā ala ʻē aʻe. A ke aʻo hou nei ka makuahine i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana iā ia iho i ka pilikanaka. No laila pehea e hoʻokele maikaʻi ai i kēia wahi keʻa obligatory? ʻO ka mea mua, pono ʻoe e kamaʻilio me nā keiki, ke koi nei ʻo Myriam Szejer, ʻoiai i nā pēpē "he mau sponges a ʻike i ka ʻeha o ko lākou makuahine. No laila, pono mākou e manaʻo mau i kahi kaʻawale, ʻo kahi mea liʻiliʻi, ma o nā huaʻōlelo, e wehewehe iā lākou i ka wā e haʻalele ai mākou iā lākou a no ke kumu. » Pehea nā makuahine? Hoʻokahi wale nō ka hopena: e pāʻani i lalo! A e ʻae aku ʻo ke keiki a lākou i hānau ai ... pakele iā lākou. "He ʻāpana ia o ka" castrations "a ke ola nei nā mea a pau mai ia mea, hōʻoia ʻo Myriam Szejer. Hoʻokaʻawale mākou mai kā mākou keiki e hāʻawi iā ia i ka mana kūʻokoʻa. A i loko o kona ulu ʻana, pono mākou e alo i nā kaʻawale paʻakikī. ʻO kēia ka hana a ka makua, a hiki i ka lā e haʻalele ai ke keiki i ka pūnana ʻohana. Mai hopohopo, hiki paha iā ʻoe kekahi manawa!