"He nalo au", "ʻAʻole loaʻa iaʻu kahi pilina maʻamau", "E nalo hou wau". ʻO ka poʻe hilinaʻi iā lākou iho, ʻaʻole, ʻaʻole, ʻae, a hopu iā lākou iho i kēlā mau manaʻo. Pehea e ho'āʻo wikiwiki ai i kou mau manaʻo e pili ana iā ʻoe iho? Hāʻawi ʻo Psychotherapist Robert Leahy i kahi mea hana maʻalahi akā ikaika.
He aha ka mea e kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻokō i nā manaʻo ʻeha a hoʻokō i kāu mau pahuhopu? Pehea e ʻimi ai i nā ʻano manaʻo pilikino? Ua aʻo ʻia kēia mau mea āpau e kahi monograph hou e kahi psychotherapist, ke poʻo o ka American Institute of Cognitive Therapy Robert Leahy. ʻO ka puke «Techniques of Cognitive Psychotherapy» i manaʻo ʻia no nā psychologists a me nā haumāna o nā kula psychological a me kā lākou hana hana me nā mea kūʻai aku, akā hiki i nā mea ʻole ke hoʻohana i kekahi mea. No ka laʻana, ʻo ka ʻenehana, i kapa ʻia e ka mea kākau "180 Degree Turn — Confirmation of the Negative", i hōʻike ʻia ma ka paʻi ʻana ma ke ʻano he haʻawina homework no ka mea kūʻai.
He mea paʻakikī loa iā mākou ke hōʻoia i ko mākou hemahema ponoʻī, hoʻomau mākou, "kau" i kā mākou mau hewa ponoʻī, e hana ana i nā manaʻo nui e pili ana iā mākou iho. Akā he mau hemahema ko kēlā me kēia o kākou.
"Loaʻa iā mākou nā ʻano a i ʻole nā ʻano maikaʻi a mākou e manaʻo ai he maikaʻi ʻole. Pela ke ano kanaka. Ma waena o kā mākou poʻe kamaʻāina ʻaʻohe kanaka kūpono hoʻokahi, no laila ʻo ka hoʻoikaika ʻana no ka hemolele ʻaʻole maoli maoli, ke manaʻo nei ka psychotherapist i kāna hana. — E ʻike kākou i kāu mea e hoʻohewa ai iā ʻoe iho, i kāu mea makemake ʻole iā ʻoe iho. E noʻonoʻo i nā ʻano maikaʻi ʻole. A laila e noʻonoʻo i ke ʻano o ke ʻano inā ʻike ʻoe iā lākou e like me kou kuleana. Hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama iā ia e like me kahi ʻāpana iā ʻoe iho - he kanaka kūpono ʻole nona ke ola piha i nā piʻi a me nā haʻahaʻa.
E mālama i kēia ʻano hana ma ke ʻano he mea kaua no ka hoʻohewa ʻana iā ia iho, akā ma ke ʻano he mea hana no ka ʻike, empathy a me ka ʻike ponoʻī.
A laila kono ʻo Leahy i ka mea heluhelu e noʻonoʻo he ʻano maikaʻi ʻole kāna. No ka laʻana, he naʻaupō ʻo ia, he haole, pupule, ʻino. E noʻonoʻo paha ʻoe i kekahi manawa he mea kamaʻilio ʻoluʻolu ʻoe. Ma mua o ka hakakā ʻana, no ke aha e ʻae ʻole ai? "ʻAe, hiki iaʻu ke hōʻoluʻolu no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, akā nui nā mea hoihoi i koʻu ola."
No ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana i kēia, e hoʻohana i ka papaʻaina, i kapa ʻia e ka mea kākau: "Pehea wau e hoʻokō ai inā ʻike ʻia he mau ʻano maikaʻi ʻole iaʻu."
Ma ke kolamu hema, e kākau i kou manaʻo e pili ana i kou ʻano ʻano a me kou ʻano. Ma ke kolamu waena, e nānā inā he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēia mau manaʻo. Ma ke kolamu ʻākau, e hoʻopaʻa inoa i nā kumu i pilikia ʻole ai kēia mau ʻano a me nā ʻano no ʻoe - ʻoiai, he nui kāu mau ʻano ʻē aʻe a hiki ke komo i nā hana like ʻole.
Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke pilikia i ka wā o ka hoʻopiha ʻana. Manaʻo kekahi poʻe ʻo ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kā mākou mau ʻano maikaʻi ʻole he like ia me ka hoʻohewa ʻana iā ia iho, a ʻo ka papaʻaina i hoʻopau ʻia e hōʻoia maopopo ʻia e manaʻo mākou iā mākou iho ma ke ʻano maikaʻi ʻole. Akā, he mea pono e hoʻomanaʻo ʻaʻole maikaʻi mākou a he mau ʻano maikaʻi ʻole kēlā me kēia kanaka.
A ʻo kekahi mea hou aʻe: e mālama i kēia ʻano hana ʻaʻole he mea kaua no ka hoʻohewa ʻana iā ia iho, akā ma ke ʻano he mea hana no ka ʻike, empathy a me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana iā ia iho. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ke aloha mākou i ke keiki, ʻike mākou a ʻae i kāna mau hemahema. E lilo kakou i keiki no kakou iho. ʻO ka manawa kēia e mālama ai iā ʻoe iho.
Puna: ʻO Robert Leahy "Nā ʻenehana o Cognitive Psychotherapy" (Peter, 2020).