I ka lā mua, pono ʻoe e ʻoiaʻiʻo

ʻO ka lua o ka lā, e like me ka mua, uaʻoluʻolu. Ua hāʻawi ʻo Anna e hele i ka māla botanical - ʻaʻole maikaʻi loa ka wā, akā ʻaʻole mālama ke kaikamahine. He mea maikaʻi loa ke kamaʻilio ʻana me Max: ua neʻe lākou mai kekahi kumuhana a i kekahi, a maopopo loa iā ia. Ua kūkākūkā mākou i nā nūhou, nā moʻolelo, nā pou ʻakaʻaka ma nā ʻoihana pūnaewele. A laila, haʻi aku lākou, a makaʻu ʻo Anna: ua ʻōlelo pololei ʻo ia, ua wehe loa. A maopopo loa kona hoihoi iā Max. "ʻAʻohe lā hou - ua hōʻino wau i nā mea āpau!"

Aia i kēia wā o kahi pilina hānau e hiki ai ke hele hewa, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole ʻike nā kāne i ke kaulike kūpono. He aha ia a pehea e loaʻa ai?

E hōʻike i ka hoihoi me ka hilahila ʻole

Ua kākau ʻo Ancu Kögl e pili ana i ka launa pū ʻana no nā makahiki he nui a ua paʻi hou ʻia ʻo The Art of Honest Dating. Hōʻike ka inoa i ka mea a ka mea kākau i manaʻo nui ai i kēia mau lā nui a me nā pule o ka hoʻokumu ʻana i nā pilina - ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ke hāʻawi mau nei nā nūpepa wahine i kā lākou poʻe heluhelu i ka pāʻani kahiko o ka hōʻike ʻole ʻana i ka hoihoi, ʻaʻole hiki ke loaʻa. "ʻO ka liʻiliʻi o kā mākou aloha i ka wahine, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o kona makemake iā mākou," wahi a nā puke kāne kāne iā Pushkin i ka pane. "Akā naʻe, ʻo ia ka mea e alakaʻi pinepine ai i ka ʻike ʻole o ka poʻe i kekahi i kekahi," wehewehe ka mea blog.

ʻAʻole kūpono ka hopohopo o Anna e nalowale ʻo Max no ka mea ua maopopo loa kona hoihoi iā ia. Hui hou laua. "ʻO ke kanaka e hōʻike ākea ana, me ka hilahila ʻole a me ka hoʻopono ʻole, e hōʻike i ka hoihoi e lilo i mea nani," wehewehe ʻo Koegl. "Ke hōʻike nei kēia ʻano ʻaʻole hilinaʻi kona manaʻo ponoʻī i ka manaʻo a me ka pane ʻana o ka interlocutor."

ʻO kēlā kanaka me he mea lā paʻa ka naʻau, hiki ke wehe. A makemake mākou e hilinaʻi iā ia. Inā ua hoʻāʻo ʻo Anna e hūnā i kona manaʻo ʻole iā Max, inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e wehe. Malia paha e lawe ʻo ia i kāna hōʻole ʻana ma ke ʻano he hōʻailona kūʻē: "Makemake au iā ʻoe, akā ʻaʻole pono wau iā ʻoe." Ke ho'āʻo nei e hūnā i ko mākou hoihoi, no laila ke hōʻike nei mākou iā mākou iho me ka wiwo ʻole, ka makaʻu, a no laila ʻaʻole maikaʻi.

ʻŌlelo pololei

ʻAʻole pili koke i ke aloha mau. Hāʻawi ʻo Koegl i nā hiʻohiʻona o nā hōʻailona noʻonoʻo e hōʻike ana i ko mākou hoihoi i ka interlocutor i nā ʻano like ʻole. “E ʻōlelo mākou aia ʻoe i loko o kahi hale pō walaʻau a ua hālāwai ʻoe me kekahi. Kūkākūkā ʻoe a makemake ʻoe kekahi i kekahi. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo: “Ua hauʻoli wau e kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe. Hiki iā mākou ke hele i kahi pā? Ua ʻoi aku ka mālie ma laila, a hiki iā mākou ke kamaʻilio maʻamau.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, aia mau ka pilikia o ka hōʻole ʻia - a laila pehea? ʻAʻohe mea, maopopo ʻo Koegle. Ia hana. "ʻAʻole ʻōlelo ka hōʻole iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he kanaka. Ua hōʻole ka hapa nui o nā wahine aʻu i hālāwai ai. Akā naʻe, poina wau iā lākou i ka wā ma mua, no ka mea, ʻaʻole ia he mea nui iaʻu," wahi āna. Akā, aia kekahi mau wāhine aʻu i pili ai. Ua hālāwai wau me lākou no ka mea ua ʻae wau i koʻu makaʻu a me ka hopohopo, no ka mea ua wehe wau, ʻoiai ua pilikia wau.

ʻOiai hopohopo ʻo Anna, hiki iā ia ke hoʻoikaika i ka wiwo ʻole e haʻi iā Max, "Aloha wau e noho pū me ʻoe. E hui hou paha kāua?”

E ʻae mai ua hopohopo ʻoe

E nānā kākou, ma mua o ka lā mua, ʻike ka hapa nui o mākou iā mākou iho i kahi kūlana o ka huikau. Hiki i ka manaʻo ke hele mai i ka naʻau, akā ʻaʻole ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hoʻopau ʻana i nā mea āpau. ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo ua pau ko mākou hoihoi i ke kanaka. ʻO ia wale nō ka hopohopo nui a makemake mākou e noho ma ka home, "i loko o kahi mink". He aha kaʻu e ʻaʻahu ai? Pehea e hoʻomaka ai i kamaʻilio? He aha inā e hoʻokahe au i ka mea inu ma luna o koʻu pālule a i ʻole—auē! – kona kapa?

He mea maʻamau ka makaʻu nui ma mua o ka lā mua, wehewehe nā kumu aʻo ʻo Lindsay Crisler lāua ʻo Donna Barnes. Manaʻo lākou e hoʻomaha iki ma mua o ka hālāwai ʻana me kekahi hoa. "E kali iki ma mua o ka wehe ʻana i ka puka cafe, a i ʻole e pani i kou mau maka no kekahi mau kekona ma mua o ka iho ʻana i lalo i kahi āu e manaʻo ai."

"E ʻōlelo ʻoe ua hopohopo ʻoe a i ʻole he hilahila maoli ʻoe," wahi a Chrysler. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ma mua o ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana ʻaʻole ʻoe mālama. Ma ka hōʻike ākea ʻana i ko mākou mau manaʻo, loaʻa iā mākou kahi manawa e kūkulu ai i kahi pilina maʻamau.

E hoʻopaʻa i kahi pahuhopu maoli

E hanu hohonu a noʻonoʻo i kāu mea e manaʻo ai mai ka hālāwai. E hōʻoia ʻaʻole kiʻekiʻe loa kāu pahuhopu no ka lā mua. E lilo ia i mea maoli. No ka laʻana, e leʻaleʻa. A i ʻole i ke ahiahi e noho ʻoe iā ʻoe iho. Ma hope o ka lā, e hoʻāʻo e loiloi inā ua hoʻokō ʻoe i kou manaʻo. Inā ʻae, e haʻaheo ʻoe iā ʻoe iho! ʻOiai inā ʻaʻohe lā lua, e kōkua kēia ʻike iā ʻoe e lilo i mea hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho.

E aʻo e mālama iā ʻoe iho me ka ʻakaʻaka

“Makaʻu ʻoe e uē a hoʻokahe paha i kāu kofe? Hoʻomaopopo loa kēia! Akā, ʻo ka mea nui paha, ʻaʻole e holo ka mea āu e noʻonoʻo ai no ka mea he palaka ʻoe, "wahi a Barnes. ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o ka hoʻohenehene iā ʻoe iho ma mua o ka puhi ʻana me ka hilahila i ke ahiahi a pau.

E hoʻomanaʻo: ʻaʻole ʻoe i ka hālāwai ninaninau

Manaʻo kekahi o mākou e like me kā mākou lā mua e like me kahi nīnauele hana a hoʻāʻo i kā mākou mea maikaʻi loa e hemolele. "Akā, ʻaʻole wale ka manaʻo e hōʻoiaʻiʻo i ka mea e kū'ē ana he "moho" kūpono ʻoe a pono ʻoe e koho ʻia, akā e ʻae pū i ka mea ʻē aʻe e hōʻoia iā ia iho," wahi a Barnes. “No laila, mai hopohopo nui ʻoe i kāu mea e ʻōlelo nei, inā ʻakaʻaka nui ʻoe. E hoʻomaka i ka hoʻolohe ʻana i ka interlocutor, e hoʻāʻo e hoʻomaopopo i kāu mea e makemake ai e pili ana iā ia, a iā ia e pili ana iā ʻoe. E hoʻomau i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he uʻi mua ʻoe i kahi hoa pili - ʻo ia ka mea e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho a e hoʻohiwahiwa iā ʻoe.