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"E aloha nui anei au iā ia?" », He nīnau i hiki ʻole iā mākou ke nīnau iā mākou iho i kekahi lā ke manaʻo nei mākou i kā mākou pēpē lua. ʻO ke kūpono, ua ʻike mua mākou i ka mea mua, aloha nui mākou iā ia, pehea e hiki ai iā mākou ke hāʻawi i ke aloha nui i kēia mea liʻiliʻi a mākou i ʻike ʻole ai? Pehea inā he mea maʻamau? Hoʻohou me kā mākou loea.
Nā Mākua: Hiki iā mākou ke aloha nui i kā mākou mau keiki akā… ʻokoʻa?
ʻO Florence Millot: No ke aha e ʻae ʻole ai i ka manaʻo ʻaʻole ʻoe i aloha nui i kāu mau keiki, a i ʻole ke ʻano like? Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole like kēia poʻe, pono lākou e hoʻouna mai iā mākou i kahi mea ʻokoʻa e like me ko lākou ʻano, ko mākou mau manaʻo, a me ke ʻano o ko lākou hānau ʻana. ʻO kaʻikeʻana iāʻoe iho me ka hanaʻole a iʻole ma kahi pilina e hakakā nei i ka hānauʻana o ka lua, no ka laʻana, hiki ke hoʻonui i ka paʻa. Conversely, ina ka muli loa like me mākou, ka mea hiki subconsciously reassure mākou, paipai i ka paʻa.
ʻO ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i nā paʻa ikaika hiki ke lawe i nā lā, nā pule, nā mahina, a i kekahi mau makahiki no kekahi mau makuahine. A ʻo ka hoʻolaʻa ʻana o kā mākou kaiāulu i ke kiʻi o ka makuahine maikaʻi loa e mālama ana i kāna pēpē mai ka hānau ʻana ʻaʻole ia e maʻalahi iā mākou ...
He mea koʻikoʻi paha ka makemake i kekahi o kāu mau keiki?
FM : ʻOiai ʻaʻole maopopo i nā mākua āpau a hōʻole paha i ka ʻae ʻana, aloha mākou i kēlā me kēia o kā mākou keiki no nā kumu like ʻole a me nā pae like ʻole, inā makemake mākou a ʻaʻole paha. ʻAʻole like me kā mākou mau hoaaloha, ʻaʻole mākou e koho i kā mākou mau keiki, hoʻololi mākou iā lākou, no laila, ke pane maikaʻi aku kekahi i kā mākou mau manaʻo, e hoʻomau maoli mākou i ka hui pū ʻana me ia. ʻO ka mea nui, ʻo ka ʻike ʻana o kēlā me kēia keiki i kāna moʻolelo noʻonoʻo ma waena o kona makuakāne, kona makuahine a me nā lālā ʻē aʻe o ka ʻohana, ʻo ka hoʻoikaika ʻana e aloha iā lākou like ʻole he mea hiki ʻole no ka mea ʻaʻole pono nā keiki, ma muli o ko lākou mau makahiki a i ko lākou ʻano. loaʻa nā pono like no ke aloha a me ka nānā ʻana a ʻaʻole e hōʻike like iā lākou ma ke ʻano like.
I ka manawa hea mākou e kamaʻilio ai no ia mea?
FM : Ke ulu aʻe kā mākou ʻano i ka lili hoahānau - ʻoiai inā aia kekahi o nā ʻohana āpau, pono kekahi lālā o nā kaikunāne e manaʻo kūʻokoʻa - a haʻi mai ke keiki iā mākou i kona manaʻo ʻaʻole i aloha ʻia a pilikia paha ka ʻimi ʻana i kou wahi. pono ʻoe e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ia mea. ʻOiai ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka nīnau ʻana i kahi loea e hele pū me mākou, e kōkua iā mākou e ʻike i nā huaʻōlelo kūpono, no ka mea, he mea kapu loa ia. ʻO wai ka makuahine e makemake e ʻae aku i kāna keiki ua ʻoi aku kāna mau makau me kona kaikunāne a kaikuahine? Hiki i kēia kōkua waho ke hōʻoluʻolu iā mākou i kahi mea koʻikoʻi: ʻAʻole maikaʻi ke aloha like iā lākou, ʻaʻole ia e lilo i mau mākua ʻino!
ʻO ke kūkākūkā ʻana me ka poʻe a puni mākou, ko mākou mau hoaaloha, e kōkua pū iā mākou e pāʻani i ke kūlana a hōʻoluʻolu iā mākou iho: ua lawa paha nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i kā lākou mau keiki a i ʻole nā manaʻo ambivalent, ʻaʻole ia e pale iā lākou mai ke aloha ʻana i kā lākou mau keiki. .
Pehea wau e pale aku ai i ka hōʻeha ʻana i kaʻu keiki?
FM : I kekahi manawa ʻaʻole mākou i ʻike i ko mākou ʻano e hāʻawi i ke keiki i ka manaʻo o ke aloha ʻia ma mua o kona kaikunāne a kaikuahine. Inā hele mai ʻo ia e hoʻopiʻi, hoʻomaka mākou ma ka nīnau ʻana iā ia i nā kūlana āna i manaʻo ai ua haʻalele ʻia, e hoʻoponopono i ke kūlana a hōʻoluʻolu iā ia i ka maikaʻi loa. A laila, ma waho aʻe o nā honi a me nā pūliki, no ke aha e noʻonoʻo ʻole ai i nā hana e hiki ai iā mākou ke hui a kaʻana like i nā manawa kūikawā?
ʻAʻole ia e pili ana i ka hana like me kāu mau keiki. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻo ke kūʻai ʻana i nā makana like a i ʻole ka puliki ʻana i ka manawa like e hoʻokumu i kahi hoʻokūkū ma waena o nā kaikaina, e hoʻāʻo e kū i waho i ko mākou mau maka. Eia nō hoʻi, ʻaʻole like ko mākou ʻelemakule 11 makahiki me kona kaikuahine 2 makahiki. ʻO ka mea nui, manaʻo nā mea a pau i ke aloha, ka waiwai ma kāna mau mea like ʻole: haʻuki, haʻawina, ʻano kanaka, etc.
ʻO ka hōʻike a Anne-Sophie: "Ua loaʻa i ka hiapo ke kūʻokoʻa no nā makahiki ʻehiku! “
ʻO Louise, koʻu kanaka makua, he kaikamahine ʻōpio koʻikoʻi loa, hilahila, naʻauao… Ua makemake nui ʻo ia, ma kahi o 5-6 mau makahiki, e loaʻa kahi kaikaina a i ʻole kaikuahine liʻiliʻi ... Pauline, he keiki ʻo ia e pani i kona wahi. me ka nīnau ʻole inā pilikia, kānana ʻole, kūʻokoʻa a paʻa loa.
ʻAʻole lawa ka ʻōlelo ʻana ʻaʻole nā mea hoʻopili ʻelua… Huāhuā loa, ua "hōʻole" ʻo Louise i kāna kaikuahine. Hoʻohenehene pinepine mākou ma ka haʻi ʻana iā ia ua laki ʻo ia ʻaʻole loaʻa ʻeono mau kaikunāne a me nā kaikuahine… Ke hoʻāʻo pū nei mākou e wehewehe iā ia ua loaʻa iā ia ka ʻokoʻa no 7 mau makahiki. Inā he wahi kaikunāne kona, ʻokoʻa paha. ʻAʻole pono ʻo ia e hāʻawi i nā mea he nui i ke keiki liʻiliʻi: nā mea pāʻani, nā lole, nā puke… ”
Anne Sophie, 38 makahiki, makuahine o Louise, 12 makahiki, a me Pauline, 5 a me ka hapa makahiki.
Hiki i kēia ke hoʻololi i ka manawa?
FM : ʻAʻohe mea i hoʻopaʻa ʻia, ulu nā loulou mai ka hānau ʻana a hiki i ka wā makua. Makemake paha ka makuahine i kekahi o kāna mau keiki i kona wā liʻiliʻi a i ʻole kokoke loa iā ia, a nalowale kona kūlana he uʻi i kona wā e ulu ana. I ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, i kou ʻike ʻana i kāu keiki, ʻo ka mea āu i manaʻo ai ʻaʻole kokoke loa iā ʻoe, hiki paha iā ʻoe ke mahalo i kona mau ʻano āu i makemake ai e loaʻa iā ʻoe - no ka laʻana, inā pili ʻoe a he ʻano kamaʻilio kāu keiki. - a kau aku i ko kakou mau maka ia ia, no ka mea, ua kokua mai oia ia kakou. I ka pōkole, kokoke i nā manawa a pau nā makemake a maʻamau e loli. Hoʻokahi manawa hoʻokahi, a laila kekahi. A hoʻokahi hou.
Nīnauele na Dorothée Louessard
* Ka mea kākau o ka blog www.pédagogieinnovante.com, a me nā puke "He mau monsters ma lalo o koʻu moena" a me "The Toltec principles i pili i nā keiki", ed. Hatchet.