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He hōʻailona hoʻohui i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana i ka hāpai ʻana, he hoʻāʻo koko maikaʻi. ʻO ia, ua huli ko mākou ola mau loa i lalo. Nīnau mākou iā mākou iho i nā nīnau he nui, a he mea maʻamau kēlā! Me kahi hoʻomākaukau liʻiliʻi a me kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo liʻiliʻi, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokō pono i ka haunaele nui o kahi hāpai mua.
ʻO ka hānau mua: he aha nā haunaele!
ʻO ka hauʻoli, ka hauʻoli, nā kānalua ... mai ka hōʻoia ʻana o ka hāpai mua ʻana, hui pū nā manaʻo a hui pū. A no ke kumu maikaʻi: he haunaele nui ka hānau keiki, e hoʻomaka ana me ka a hoʻololi kino, ano hooluolu. No nā mahina ʻeiwa, ua hoʻololi ʻia ko mākou kino e hoʻokipa maikaʻi i kā mākou pēpē. Me kekahi mau haʻalulu ma ka ʻaoʻao: ke ʻano o ka naʻau, nā makemake ʻole, nā moeʻuhane ʻakaʻaka ...
Hoʻopili pū ʻia kēia kiʻi hou me kahi hoʻohaunaele kino "ʻO ka hāpai ʻana he alahaka ia o ke ola e koi ai iā mākou e haʻalele i ko mākou wahi o ke keiki e lilo i makua i kā mākou manawa: ʻaʻole ia he mea ʻole!“, Underlines Corinne Antoine, psychologist. No laila, ʻoi aku ka nui o nā mahina ʻeiwa ma mua o ka pono e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i kēia mau manaʻo hou. “Pono ka manawa e kūkulu ai i ka manaʻo makuahine, a e hana i wahi no keia bebe ma kona poo a ma kona mare ana", hoʻomau ʻo Corinne Antoine. “ʻAʻohe makahiki e lilo ai i makuahine. Ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, ma muli o ka wā kamaliʻi a mākou i noho ai, a ma ke ʻano o ka pilina me ko mākou makuahine, hiki ke paʻakikī a paʻakikī paha. “
Hoʻopilikia pū ka hāpai ʻana i kā māua kāne. ʻO ka manawa pinepine, ma ke ʻano he makuahine hānai, hauʻoli kekahi i ka nānā ʻana o ka poʻe e puni ana i ka uku o ka makua kāne, i kekahi manawa ke manaʻo nei ua haʻalele ʻia, me he mea lā ʻaʻole ʻo ia i pāʻani i ka moʻolelo. No laila e makaʻala ʻaʻole e haʻalele. No laila ke kaʻana like nei mākou me ia i nā mea a pau a mākou e manaʻo ai, i hiki iā ia ke hoʻomaka i kēia huakaʻi a lawe i kona wahi ma ke ʻano he makua kāne.
ʻO nā hopohopo (maʻamau) o ka hāpai mua ʻana
E lilo au i makuahine maikaʻi? Pehea e hele ai ka lawe ʻana? E ʻeha anei au? E ola kino ana ka'u keiki? Pehea e hoʻonohonoho ai no ka wā e hiki mai ana? … He nui nā nīnau a mākou e nīnau ai iā mākou iho. ʻO ka hānau ʻana no ka manawa mua ʻo ia ka hana ʻana i ka lele nui i ka ike ole ! E ʻoluʻolu, ua like nā manaʻo hopohopo iā mākou a pau, me nā mea i hala mua i laila, no ka pēpē lua, ʻekolu a ʻelima paha!
ʻO ka mea huna o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka hiki ʻana mai o kā mākou pēpē e like me ka hikie manaʻo i nā loli, ma ka pae o ka male. ʻO wai ka mea i ʻōlelo i ke keiki, ʻōlelo ʻo ia i ka manawa liʻiliʻi no kekahi a me ka liʻiliʻi o ka manawa no kekahi. No laila, hoʻonohonoho mākou mai kēia manawa e kōkua ʻia a mālama mākou i mau manawa no ʻelua ma hope o ka hānau ʻana. Hiki iā mākou ke kamaʻilio liʻiliʻi e pili ana i ka hoʻonaʻauao (ka makuahine, ka lokomaikaʻi, ka moe ʻana a i ʻole ...) ʻoiai inā maopopo ʻole kēia mau mea āpau ... pale aku i kekahi mau kuhihewa.
E ola maikaʻi i kā mākou hāpai mua
«ʻo ka mea mua loa hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho a me kāu pēpē", wahi a Corinne Antoine. «ʻO ka makuahine wale nō ka mea i ʻike i ka mea maikaʻi nona a no kāna keiki.Holo mākou mai nā moʻolelo hānau hānau pōʻino a me nā makuahine e hoʻoweliweli iā mākou no ka wā e hiki mai ana. Heluhelu mākou i nā moʻolelo hānau hānau kūleʻa e like me kēia i haʻi ʻia ma ʻaneʻi e kekahi makuahine!
Hoʻomākaukau mākou i ka lumi o kā mākou pēpē a me nā mea i ʻole e hopu ʻia inā hoʻoholo ʻo ia e hōʻea ma mua iki. Lawe mākou i ka manawa no mākou iho. Hoʻomaha mākou me ka manaʻo hewa ʻole, hauʻoli mākou ma ka ʻae ʻana, no ke aha ʻaʻole, kahi kūʻai liʻiliʻi ma ka Pūnaewele… Pono kēia lull e alo i ka haunaele e kali nei iā mākou. Ke hilinaʻi pū nei mākou i kā mākou hoa, e ʻike ʻoe i ka nui he mea hōʻoluʻolu ke hoʻomākaukau pū i kēia mau hoʻololi āpau : ʻo ia ke ala maikaʻi loa e hōʻoia i ka holo pono o nā mea a pau!
Ho'āʻo: ʻO wai ʻoe ka wahine hāpai?
ʻO ka hāpai ʻana he ʻeiwa mahina o ka hauʻoli… akā ʻaʻole wale! Aia kekahi poʻe makaʻu mau i kahi hanana, ka poʻe e hoʻonohonoho iā lākou iho e hoʻomalu i nā mea āpau a me ka poʻe e kū pono ana i ke ao! A ʻo ʻoe, pehea kou noho ʻana i kou hāpai ʻana? E lawe i kā mākou ho'āʻo.