Ke kali nei mākou i kahi keiki… ʻOiai ke hoʻolālā ʻia a manaʻo ʻia ka hāpai ʻana, pīhoihoi pinepine ke kāne i ka hoʻolaha. ” Ua aʻo au i kēia ahiahi i koʻu hoʻi ʻana i ka home. Kahaha au. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke manaʻoʻiʻo… ʻoiai ke kakali nei mākou i kēia manawa Wahi a Beniamina. I loko o ke kanaka, ʻaʻole hiki ke hōʻike wale ʻia ka makemake no ke keiki. ʻO kona hoa pinepine ka mea e kamaʻilio mua ai, a inā manaʻo ʻo ia e mākaukau, pili ke kāne i kēia papahana kamaliʻi. Eia kekahi, ua hoʻopaneʻe ka wahine i ka hoʻoholo a ʻae i ka makemake o kāna kāne, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka makahiki. ʻO ka manaʻo e loaʻa ana iā ia kahi keiki e hoʻāla ai i ke kāne i nā manaʻo he nui, kūʻē pinepine, e pili ana iā ia a me kāna wahine.
ʻO ka mea mua, hauʻoli ʻo ia, ʻoluʻolu loa, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e ʻaʻa e ʻōlelo nui aku. A laila haʻaheo ʻo ia i ka ʻike hiki iā ia ke hānau keiki: ʻike ʻia ka ʻike ʻana o ka hāpai ʻana ma ke ʻano he hōʻoia o kona virility. Manaʻo ʻo ia e hoʻoikaika ʻia i kona waiwai ma ke ʻano he kanaka. ʻO ka makuakāne e hiki mai ana, hoʻokokoke ʻo ia i kona makuakāne, e lilo ʻo ia i mea like a hāʻawi iā ia i wahi hou, ʻo ke kupuna kāne. Makemake ʻo ia e like me ia a i ʻole e haʻalele i kēia "makuakāne"? ʻO kahi kiʻi hoihoi e makemake ʻo ia e hoʻokokoke. Akā hiki iā ia ke hilinaʻi i nā kiʻi makua kāne ʻē aʻe: ʻanakala, kaikuaʻana, hoaaloha, etc. ʻO koʻu makua kāne ʻoʻoleʻa, haku. I ko mākou manaʻo ʻana i kahi keiki, noʻonoʻo koke wau i ka ʻohana o kahi hoaaloha pili, ʻo kona makuakāne pumehana a ʻakaʻaka ”, hai mai o Paulo ia kakou.
Mai ke kanaka a i ka makua
Ua ʻike ke kanaka i nā loli e hiki mai ana, e ʻike ʻo ia i ka makua kāne, kahi manaʻo o ke kuleana ("E hoʻokō wau i ia?"), Hoʻopili ʻia me ka hauʻoli hohonu. ʻO ka hui, nā hoaaloha i kekahi manawa: " E ʻike ʻoe i ka paʻakikī o ka hānai ʻana i kahi keiki. "" Ua pau ke kuokoa, aloha i na huakai i manao ole ia. Akā ʻike kekahi i nā huaʻōlelo hōʻoluʻolu, ʻike pehea e hōʻike ai i nā manaʻo i ʻike ʻia i ka wā o ka hānau ʻana o kā lākou pēpē a me nā hauʻoli i loaʻa iā lākou i ka mālama ʻana i kā lākou mau keiki. ʻO ka haʻaheo o ke kāne i ka manaʻo o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi keiki e manaʻo ai ʻo ia i ka mahalo o kāna wahine, ʻike ʻia, aloha. Akā i ka manawa like, ʻokoʻa kēia wahine e lilo i makuahine iā ia: manaʻo ʻo ia e lilo ana ʻo ia i mea ʻē aʻe - pololei ʻo ia, ʻoi aku - he kanaka nāna e ʻike hou. ʻO ka huhū a me ka palupalu o kāna hoa hoʻopūhoihoi iā ia, hopohopo paha ʻo ia i ka manaʻo o ka manaʻo i manaʻo ʻia, ʻo ka pēpē i hānau ʻole ʻia ma ka puʻuwai o nā kūkākūkā.
ʻAʻole hānau ʻia ka makua kāne ma kahi lā kikoʻī, ʻo ia ka hopena mai kahi kaʻina mai ka makemake a laila mai ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka hāpai ʻana a hiki i ka hānau ʻana a me ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi pilina me ke keiki. ʻAʻole ʻike ke kanaka i ka hāpai ʻana ma kona kino akā ma kona poʻo a ma kona puʻuwai; ʻO ka manaʻoʻole i ka uluʻana o ke keiki i kona kino, i kēlā me kēia mahina,ʻaʻole ia e pale iā ia mai ka hoʻomākaukauʻana no ka makua kāne.
He manawa e hoʻololi ai
Hoʻololi nā pili aloha, hoʻololi ka makemake moe. Hiki i nā kāne ke hopohopo no kēia manawa a hopohopo no ka wā e hiki mai ana. Makaʻu kekahi i ka hōʻeha ʻana i ka pēpē i ka wā moe. Eia naʻe, he makaʻu kumu ʻole. Manaʻo kekahi ua ʻoi aku ka mamao o kā lākou hoa a ʻaʻole maopopo i ke kumu. I ka wā o ka hāpai ʻana, liʻiliʻi paha ka makemake o ka wahine, a i ʻole ke manaʻo nui a emi ʻole paha i nā loli o kona kino. He mea nui ka manawa e kamaʻilio ai nā kāne, e hōʻike iā lākou iho i ka ulu ʻana o nā pilina aloha. Pono kekahi e hoʻolohe i kekahi.
Hoʻopilikia ʻia ka makua kāne i kekahi manawa e ka pilina pili i hoʻopaʻa ʻia ma waena o kāna wahine a me ka pēpē i hānau ʻole ʻia, hopohopo ʻo ia o ka manaʻo ʻole. Ke hilinaʻi nei kekahi mau kāne i ko lākou ola ʻoihana, kahi e ʻike ʻia ai ko lākou mākaukau, kahi e ʻoluʻolu ai lākou a hiki iā lākou ke poina iki i ka hāpai ʻana a me ka pēpē. Loaʻa i nā makuahine hāpai ka manaʻo o kēia manaʻo a hoʻokuʻu i kā lākou hoa noho i kahi āna e makemake ai e noho. Ke hopohopo nei kekahi mau kāne i ke olakino o kā lākou wahine, ʻoi aku ka nui ma mua o lākou iho, ʻo kā lākou hopohopo āpau e pili ana i ka pēpē. Manaʻo lākou i ke kuleana a i ʻole ke kōkua ʻole no ka mea e hiki mai ana iā ia. ʻOiai inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia i manaʻo i kēia mau makaʻu, ʻike ka makua kāne, ma ke ʻano waiwai, e loli ke ola: ʻaʻole e lilo nā papahana no ʻelua akā no ʻekolu, e lilo kekahi i mea hiki ʻole - ma ka liʻiliʻi ma ka hoʻomaka. A ʻoi aku ka manaʻo o ke kāne i ke kuleana no kēia hui hou ʻoiai ʻo kāna wahine e makemake pinepine ai i kāna kākoʻo, kona empathy, e lawe ʻo ia i nā hana.
No laila, ʻokoʻa nā manaʻo o ka makua kāne i ka wā e hiki mai ana, a he mea kūʻē : Ua ike oia i kana mau kuleana hou, a ua makau oia i ke kapaeia; manaʻo ʻo ia e hoʻoikaika ʻia i kona waiwai ma ke ʻano he kāne i ka manawa like me ka manaʻo ʻole o kāna wahine; hopohopo ʻo ia i ke olakino o kāna hoa a makemake ʻo ia e poina i kekahi manawa ua hāpai ʻo ia; i mua ona, me he mea lā ua hoʻoweliweli ʻia ʻo ia me ka manaʻo e loaʻa ana iā ia ka hilinaʻi, ke oʻo nei ʻo ia. ʻOi aku ka ikaika o kēia mau hopena no ka mea he keiki mua kēia, ʻoiai he mea hou nā mea a pau, pono e ʻike ʻia nā mea āpau. Me ka lua, ke kolu o ke keiki… e like me ka hopohopo o na makua, aka, noho lakou i keia manawa me ka oluolu.
“Hoʻokahi pule kaʻu e hoʻopau ai. Ua ʻōlelo mau wau i kaʻu wahine: maopopo anei ʻoe? ” Gregory.
“ʻO wau ka mea mua i ʻike. Ua oni loa kaʻu wahine, ua noi mai ʻo ia iaʻu e heluhelu i ka hopena hōʻike. ” ʻErwan.
He wā pilikia no kekahi mau makua kāne
ʻO ka manaʻolana ʻana i kahi keiki he haunaele ia e hōʻike ai kekahi mau kāne i ko lākou palupalu ma nā ʻano like ʻole: nā maʻi hiamoe, nā maʻi digestive, ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kaumaha. Ua ʻike mākou i kēia lā ma ka hoʻolohe ʻana i nā makua kāne, ʻoi aku hoʻi i nā hui kamaʻilio, ʻaʻole i nānā ʻia nā mea a lākou e manaʻo ai no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou e haʻi wale. ʻO ka hapa nui o ka manawa he mau pilikia kēia a ua hoʻi nā mea a pau i ka mea maʻamau ke kamaʻilio nā kāne a loaʻa nā mea a pau i ko lākou wahi. Akā, inā lilo lākou i mea hilahila no ke ola o kēlā me kēia lā, mai kānalua e haʻi i kahi ʻoihana. ʻO ka hoʻolaha ʻana o ka hāpai ʻana i kekahi manawa, hiki i ke kāne ke "haʻihaʻi" a haʻalele koke ke kāne i ka home male. E ʻōlelo paha kekahi poʻe ma hope ʻaʻole lākou i mākaukau, a i ʻole ua paʻa lākou a hopohopo. ʻO kekahi poʻe he mau moʻolelo ʻehaʻeha o ka wā kamaliʻi, hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i kahi makua kāne ʻino a aloha ʻole a ʻaʻole loa, a makaʻu lākou i ka hana hou ʻana i nā ʻano like, nā ʻano like me ko lākou makuakāne ponoʻī.
Lawe ʻia kēia ʻatikala mai ka puke kuhikuhi a Laurence Pernoud: 2018)
E ʻimi i nā nūhou a pau e pili ana i nā hana a