Manaʻo mākou e hauʻoli ka pilina iā mākou, a i ka manawa like ua mākaukau mākou e hoʻomanawanui i ka ʻeha a lākou e lawe mai ai. No hea mai kēia kuʻikahi? Ua wehewehe ʻo Philosopher Alain de Botton ʻo ka mea a mākou e ʻimi nei me ka ʻike ʻole i ka pilina, ʻaʻole ia he hauʻoli.
"Ua maikaʻi loa nā mea a pau: ʻoluʻolu ʻo ia, hoʻolohe, ma hope ona ua like wau ma hope o ka pā pōhaku. I ka manawa hea ʻo ia i hoʻololi ai i loko o kahi moʻo e hoʻokuʻu ʻole iaʻu e ola, ua lili no kēlā me kēia mea liʻiliʻi a pani i kona waha?
Hiki ke lohe pinepine ʻia kēlā mau hoʻopiʻi ma ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi hoaaloha a mea lapaʻau paha, heluhelu ʻia ma nā ʻaha kūkā. Akā, aia kekahi kumu o ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana iā ʻoe iho no ka makapō a me ka myopia? Ke koho hewa ʻole nei mākou, ʻaʻole no ka kuhi hewa ʻana i ke kanaka, akā no ka huki ʻole ʻia ʻana o mākou i kēlā mau ʻano e hoʻopilikia ai.
Kaʻahele hou ʻia
Ua kākauʻo Tolstoy: "Ua hauʻoli nāʻohana a pau ma keʻano like, akā,ʻaʻole hauʻoli kēlā me kēiaʻohana ma konaʻano pono'ī." Ua pololei paha ʻo ia, akā ʻo nā pilina hauʻoli kekahi mea like. E noʻonoʻo hou i kekahi o kāu mau pilina i hala. E ʻike paha ʻoe i nā hiʻohiʻona hou.
Ma ka pilina, hilinaʻi mākou i ka mea i kamaʻāina, i ka mea a mākou i ʻike mua ai i ka ʻohana. ʻAʻole mākou e ʻimi nei i ka hauʻoli, akā i nā manaʻo maʻamau
No ka laʻana, hāʻule ʻoe no ka manipulations hoʻokahi, e kala aku i nā kumakaia, e hoʻāʻo e hoʻopili i kāu hoa, akā ʻo ia ka mea ma hope o ka pā aniani. No nā mea he nui, ʻo ka manaʻo o ka manaʻolana ʻole ke kumu o ka hoʻomaha hope. A he wehewehe no keia.
I loko o ko mākou ola, nui ka mea i hoʻoholo ʻia e nā maʻamau, ʻo kekahi o nā mea a mākou e hoʻomohala ai iā mākou iho, ʻo nā mea ʻē aʻe e ala koke mai, no ka mea maʻalahi. Mālama nā maʻamau i ka hopohopo, e koi ana iā ʻoe e hiki i ka mea maʻa. Pehea e pili ai kēia i nā pilina? I loko o lākou, hilinaʻi pū mākou i ka mea kamaʻāina, ka mea a mākou i ʻike ai i ka ʻohana. Wahi a ka mea akeakamai ʻo Alain de Botton, ʻaʻole mākou e ʻimi nei i ka hauʻoli i ka pilina, akā no nā ʻano maʻamau.
ʻO nā hoa ʻoluʻolu o ke aloha
ʻO kā mākou pili mua-i nā mākua a i ʻole nā mea mana ʻē aʻe-e hoʻonohonoho i ke kahua no nā pilina e hiki mai ana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Manaʻo mākou e hana hou i loko o ka pilina kanaka makua i kēlā mau manaʻo i kamaʻāina mākou. Eia kekahi, ma ka nānā ʻana i ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne, aʻo mākou pehea e hana ai ka pilina (a i ʻole pono e hana).
Akā ʻo ka pilikia, ʻo ke aloha i nā mākua e pili pū ana me nā manaʻo ʻeha ʻē aʻe: ka palekana a me ka makaʻu i ka nalowale ʻana o kā lākou aloha, awkwardness e pili ana i kā mākou "mea ʻē". ʻO ka hopena, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke ʻike i ke aloha me ka ʻole o kona mau hoa mau loa - ka ʻeha, ka hilahila a me ka hewa.
Ma ke ʻano he poʻe mākua, hōʻole mākou i nā mea noi no ko mākou aloha, ʻaʻole no ka mea ʻike mākou i kahi mea ʻino i loko o lākou, akā no ka maikaʻi loa iā mākou. Manaʻo mākou ʻaʻole pono mākou. ʻImi mākou i nā manaʻo ʻino ʻaʻole no ka mea e hoʻomaikaʻi a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ko mākou ola, akā no ka mea ua kūlike lākou me kahi hiʻohiʻona maʻamau.
Ke ola nei mākou ma nā maʻamau, akā aia lākou i ka mana ma luna o mākou wale nō inā ʻaʻole mākou i ʻike iā lākou.
I ka hālāwai ʻana me "ka mea like", "ko mākou iho", ʻaʻole paha mākou e noʻonoʻo ua hāʻule mākou i ke aloha i kāna ʻano palaka, insensitivity a i ʻole ka nānā ʻana iā ia iho. E mahalo mākou i kāna hoʻoholo ʻana a me kona ʻoluʻolu, a e noʻonoʻo mākou i kāna narcissism he hōʻailona o ka kūleʻa. Akā ʻo ka ʻike ʻole e hōʻike i kahi mea maʻa a no laila he nani i ke ʻano o ka mea i koho ʻia. ʻAʻole ia he mea nui iā ia inā mākou e ʻeha a hauʻoli paha, ʻo ka mea nui e loaʻa hou mākou i ka "home", kahi i wānana ʻia nā mea āpau.
ʻO ka hopena, ʻaʻole mākou e koho wale i ke kanaka ma ke ʻano he hoa pili ma muli o ka ʻike pili i hala, akā e hoʻomau i ka pāʻani me ia e like me nā lula i hoʻokumu ʻia i loko o ko mākou ʻohana. Malia paha ua nānā iki ko mākou mau mākua iā mākou, a ke ʻae nei mākou i kā mākou hoa e haʻalele i kā mākou pono. Ua hoʻopiʻi nā mākua iā mākou no kā lākou pilikia - hoʻomanawanui mākou i nā ʻōlelo hōʻino like mai kahi hoa.
ʻO ke ala e hoʻokuʻu ai
Me he mea lā ʻeleʻele ke kiʻi. Inā ʻaʻole mākou i ulu i loko o kahi ʻohana o ka poʻe aloha pau ʻole, hauʻoli a hilinaʻi iā mākou iho, hiki anei iā mākou ke manaʻolana e hālāwai me ia mau hoa i ko mākou ola? Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻoiai inā ʻike ʻia lākou ma ka lewa, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke loiloi iā lākou.
ʻAʻole ʻoiaʻiʻo loa kēia. Hana mākou i nā maʻamau, akā aia lākou i ka mana ma luna o mākou wale nō inā ʻaʻole mākou e ʻike iā lākou. E ho'āʻo e nānā i kāu mau hopena a e ʻimi i nā mea like i loko o ia mau mea me kāu mau ʻike kamaliʻi. Pehea kou manaʻo (a i ʻole kou manaʻo i kahi pilina i hala) ke hoʻopau kāu hoa i kou mau manaʻo? Ke lohe ʻoe iā ia e kākoʻo ʻoe iā ia i nā mea a pau, ʻoiai inā he hewa ia iā ʻoe? I ka manawa hea ʻo ia e hoʻopiʻi ai iā ʻoe no ke kumakaia inā hoʻohewa ʻoe i kona nohona?
I kēia manawa e hana i loko o kou noʻonoʻo i ke kiʻi o kahi kanaka ikaika a makua me ka manaʻo kiʻekiʻe. E kākau i kou ʻike iā ia, a e hoʻāʻo i kēia kuleana iā ʻoe iho. E ho'āʻo e pāʻani i kāu kūlana pilikia. ʻAʻole ʻoe e ʻaiʻē i kekahi, ʻaʻohe mea ʻaiʻē iā ʻoe, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻopakele i kekahi a i ʻole e kaumaha aku i kekahi mea no nā mea ʻē aʻe. Pehea ʻoe e hana ai i kēia manawa?
ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokuʻu koke mai ka noho pio ʻana o nā hana kamaliʻi. Pono paha ʻoe i ke kākoʻo loea. Akā i ka wā lōʻihi, e aʻo ʻoe e ʻike i nā hōʻailona weliweli i kāu ʻano. I ka hana ʻana iā ʻoe iho, me he mea lā ke alakaʻi nei ka pilina o kēia manawa i kahi hopena make. Malia paha he haʻihaʻi ka hopena. Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke manaʻo i ka makemake nui e neʻe i mua, ʻo ia ke kumu o kahi pilina olakino hou.
No ka mea kākau: He mea kākau ʻo Alain de Botton, mea kākau, mea kākau o nā puke a me nā moʻolelo e pili ana i ke aloha, a ʻo ka mea nāna i hoʻokumu i ke Kula o ke Ola, e hāpai ana i kahi ala hou i ka hoʻonaʻauao ma nā laina o ke akeakamai o nā kula o Helene kahiko.