ʻO ka moʻolelo o ka makuahine o kahi keiki me ka autism: "Ua lilo ka hoʻomohala i koʻu lāʻau lapaʻau"

I ka makahiki hoʻokahi a me ʻehiku, ua hoʻomaka kaʻu keiki ʻo Yakov e lulu i kona poʻo a uhi i kona mau pepeiao me kona mau lima, me he mea lā e pohā ana lākou i ka ʻeha. Hoʻomaka ʻo ia e holo i loko o nā pōʻai a hana i nā neʻe ʻole me kona mau lima, hele ma kona manamana wāwae, hāʻule i nā paia.

Aneane nalo kana olelo noonoo. Ua ʻōhumu mau ʻo ia i kekahi mea, hoʻōki i ke kuhikuhi ʻana i nā mea. A hoʻomaka ʻo ia e nahu nui. I ka manawa like, ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō ka poʻe e pili ana iā ia, akā iā ia iho.

ʻAʻole ia ma mua o kaʻu keiki ke keiki mālie loa o ka honua. ʻAʻole. He ʻeleu loa ʻo ia i nā manawa a pau, akā ʻaʻohe mau hōʻailona ʻike ʻia e hewa kekahi mea iā ia a hiki i hoʻokahi makahiki a me ka hapa. I ka makahiki a me ʻewalu, ma ke kauka kauka, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i noho mālie no kekona, ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke hōʻuluʻulu i kekahi ʻano hale kiaʻi cubes a ke keiki o kona mau makahiki e kūkulu ai, a nahu ʻino i ke kahu.

Ua hāʻawi ʻia iā mākou kahi kuhikuhi i kahi kikowaena hoʻomohala keiki. Ua kūʻē au no ka manawa lōʻihi. A hiki i ka ʻōlelo a ka neurologist pediatric i ka ʻike hope loa. He autism ka'u keiki. A hāʻawi ʻia kēia.

Ua loli paha kekahi mea ma ka honua mai ia manawa? ʻAʻole. Ua hoʻomau ka poʻe i ko lākou ola, ʻaʻohe mea i nānā iā mākou - ʻaʻole i koʻu mau maka waimaka, ʻaʻole i koʻu makuakāne huikau, ʻaʻole hoʻi i kaʻu keiki e holo wikiwiki ana i kahi, e like me ka mea maʻamau. ʻAʻole i hiolo nā pā, kū mālie nā hale.

Ua manaʻo wau he ʻano hewa wale nō. ʻAe, i kekahi manawa ua hewa ka ʻike. He aha ka hewa. "E hilahila nō lākou i ko lākou ʻike ʻana i kaʻu keiki me ka autism," manaʻo wau. Mai ia manawa i hoʻomaka ai kaʻu huakaʻi lōʻihi o ka ʻae ʻana.

Ke ʻimi nei i kahi ala i waho

E like me kekahi makua i ʻike ʻia kāna keiki me ka autism, ua hele au i nā pae ʻelima o ka ʻae ʻana i ka mea hiki ʻole ke ʻae ʻia: hōʻole, huhū, kūʻai aku, kaumaha, a me ka ʻae hope. Akā, i loko o ke kaumaha i paʻa ai au no ka manawa lōʻihi.

I kekahi manawa, ua ho'ōki au i ka ho'āʻo e hoʻonaʻauao hou i ke keiki, e holo wikiwiki ana i nā helu o nā "luminaries" a me nā papa'ē aʻe, ua ho'ōki au i ka kaliʻana mai kaʻu keiki i ka mea hikiʻole iā ia ke hāʻawi ... .

Ua ʻike wau he ʻokoʻa kaʻu keiki i kona ola a pau, ʻaʻole paha ʻo ia e kūʻokoʻa a ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke alakaʻi i ke ola piha mai koʻu manaʻo. A ʻo kēia mau manaʻo i ʻoi aku ka ʻino. Ua lawe ʻo Yashka i koʻu ikaika noʻonoʻo a kino. ʻAʻole au i ʻike i ke ʻano o ka noho ʻana. No ke aha? ʻAʻole ʻoe e hoʻololi i kekahi mea.

Ua ʻike au ua kaumaha au i ka wā i loaʻa ai iaʻu e hana ana i kahi hulina: "nā ʻano hana pepehi kanaka hou." Ke noʻonoʻo nei au pehea lākou e hoʻoponopono ai i nā helu me ke ola i ko mākou manawa ...

Ua loli paha kekahi mea ma kēia wahi me ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā ʻenehana kiʻekiʻe a i ʻole? Aia paha kekahi ʻano noi no ke kelepona e koho i ke ala maikaʻi loa e pepehi ai iā ia iho ma muli o ke ʻano, nā maʻamau, ka ʻohana? Hoihoi, pololei? He hoihoi nō hoʻi kēlā iaʻu. A me he mea lā ʻaʻole wau. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i nīnau e pili ana iā ia iho. ʻIke wau iaʻu iho e heluhelu ana e pili ana i ka pepehi kanaka.

I koʻu haʻi ʻana aku i koʻu hoa psychologist ʻo Rita Gabay e pili ana i kēia, nīnau ʻo ia: "ʻAe, he aha kāu i koho ai, he aha ke ʻano kūpono iā ʻoe?" A ua hoʻihoʻi mai kēlā mau ʻōlelo iaʻu i ka honua. Ua maopopo ka pili ʻana o nā mea a pau aʻu i heluhelu ai iaʻu ma kekahi ʻano a i ʻole. A ʻo ka manawa kēia e noi ai i ke kōkua.

E ʻokoʻa ʻo ia no ke koena o kona ola.

Malia paha ʻo ka ʻanuʻu mua i ka "ala ʻana" naʻu e ʻae aku makemake wau. Hoʻomanaʻo maopopo wau i koʻu manaʻo: "ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hana hou i kēia." He ʻino koʻu kino, ʻino i koʻu ola, ʻino i koʻu ʻohana. Ua ʻike au he pono ke hoʻololi. Aka, i ka mea a?

ʻAʻole hiki koke mai ka ʻike ʻana i ka mea e hana nei iaʻu. Manaʻo wau ua lohe mua wau i kēia huaʻōlelo mai koʻu kauka ʻohana. Ua hele au i ona lā no nā kulu o ka ihu mai ka sinusitis, a haʻalele me nā antidepressants. Nīnau wale ke kauka pehea wau. A i ka pane ʻana, ua uē au i ka waimaka a no ka hapalua hola ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻomaha, e haʻi iā ia pehea lākou ...

Hiki mai ke kōkua mai ʻelua ʻaoʻao i ka manawa hoʻokahi. ʻO ka mea mua, ua hoʻomaka wau e lawe i nā antidepressants e like me ka ʻōlelo a ke kauka, a ʻo ka lua, ua kau inoa wau me kahi psychologist. I ka hopena, ua hana nā mea ʻelua iaʻu. ʻAʻole naʻe i ka manawa hoʻokahi. Ua hala paha ka manawa. Ho'ōla. He mea ʻole, akā ʻoiaʻiʻo.

ʻOi aku ka nui o ka manawa, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka ʻike. Ho'ōki ʻoe i ka makaʻu i ka huaʻōlelo «autism», hoʻōki ʻoe i ka uē ʻana i kēlā me kēia manawa āu e haʻi aku ai i kekahi ua loaʻa i kāu keiki kēia maʻi. No ka mea, pehea ka nui o kou uē ʻana no ke kumu like! Makemake ke kino e ho'ōla iā ia iho.

Lohe nā makuahine i kēia me ke kumu ʻole a i ʻole: "Pono ʻoe e loaʻa ka manawa no ʻoe iho." A ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi: "Pono nā keiki i ka makuahine hauʻoli." Ke inaina nei au i ka lakou olelo ana pela. No ka mea he mau ʻōlelo maʻamau kēia. A ʻo ka "manawa maʻalahi no ʻoe iho" kōkua i kahi manawa pōkole loa inā kaumaha ke kanaka. ʻO kēlā me kēia hihia, pēlā nō iaʻu.

ʻO nā moʻolelo TV a i ʻole nā ​​kiʻiʻoniʻoni he mau mea hoʻohilahila maikaʻi, akā ʻaʻole lākou e lawe iā ʻoe mai ke kaumaha. He mea maikaʻi loa ka hele ʻana i ka lauoho lauoho. A laila ʻike ʻia nā ikaika no ʻelua mau hola. Akā he aha ka hope? E hoʻi i ka lauoho?

Uaʻike wau he pono iaʻu eʻimi i kahi waiwai mau, hiki ke hānai mauʻia ka hopena. Ua loaʻa iaʻu kahi kumuwaiwai i ka hana hoʻohua. I ka wā mua, huki au a hana i nā mea hana, ʻaʻole naʻe au i ʻike ʻo ia kaʻu kumu waiwai. A laila hoʻomaka ʻo ia e kākau.

I kēia manawa, ʻaʻohe mea lapaʻau maikaʻi aʻe ma mua o ka kākau ʻana i kahi moʻolelo a i ʻole ka waiho ʻana ma kahi ʻāpana pepa i nā hanana a pau o ka lā, a i ʻole ka paʻi ʻana i kahi pou ma Facebook (kahi hui extremist i pāpā ʻia ma Rusia) e pili ana i ka mea e hopohopo nei iaʻu a i ʻole kekahi. nā mea ʻē aʻe o Yashkina. Ma nā ʻōlelo aʻu e kau nei i koʻu mau makaʻu, nā kānalua, nā pilikia ʻole, a me ke aloha a me ka hilinaʻi.

ʻO ka Creativity ka mea e hoʻopiha ai i ka hakahaka i loko, e kū mai ana mai nā moeʻuhane a me nā manaʻo i hoʻokō ʻole ʻia. ʻO ka puke «Mom, AU. Pehea i aʻo mai ai kahi keiki me ka autism iā mākou e hauʻoli" i lilo i lāʻau lapaʻau maikaʻi loa noʻu, ʻo ka therapy with creativity.

"E ʻimi i kāu mau ala e hauʻoli ai"

ʻO Rita Gabay, ka lāʻau psychologist

Ke hānau ʻia kahi keiki me ka autism i loko o ka ʻohana, ʻaʻole ʻike mua nā mākua he mea kūikawā ʻo ia. Nīnau ʻo Māmā ma nā ʻaha kūkā: "Ua hiamoe maikaʻi anei kāu keiki i ka pō?" A loaʻa iā ia ka pane: "ʻAe, he mea maʻamau kēia, ala pinepine nā pēpē i ka pō." "Aloha paha kāu pēpē i ka meaʻai?" "ʻAe, koho pū kaʻu mau keiki." "ʻAʻole anei ʻoe e nānā i ka maka a haʻalulu ke lawe ʻoe iā ia ma kou mau lima?" "Auwe, ʻaʻole, ʻo ʻoe wale nō kēia, a he hōʻailona maikaʻi ʻole kēia, e hele wikiwiki e kiʻi."

Ua lilo nā bele alarm i laina hoʻokaʻawale, ma waho aʻe o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka mehameha o nā mākua o nā keiki kūikawā. No ka mea, ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hoʻohui wale i ke kahe nui o nā mākua ʻē aʻe a hana like me nā mea ʻē aʻe. Pono nā mākua o nā keiki kūikawā e hoʻoholo i nā hoʻoholo - he aha nā ʻano o ka hoʻoponopono e noi ai, ʻo wai ka mea e hilinaʻi ai a me ka mea e hōʻole ai. ʻAʻole kōkua pinepine ka nui o ka ʻike ma ka Pūnaewele, akā huikau wale.

ʻO ka hiki ke noʻonoʻo kūʻokoʻa a noʻonoʻo koʻikoʻi ʻaʻole i loaʻa mau i nā makuahine hopohopo a me nā makua kāne o nā keiki me nā pilikia ulu. ʻAe, pehea ʻoe e hoʻohewa ai i ka ʻōlelo hoʻowalewale o ka lāʻau no ka autism ke pule ʻoe i kēlā me kēia lā a me kēlā me kēia hola e lilo ka maʻi he hewa?

ʻO ka mea pōʻino, ʻaʻohe mea e kūkākūkā ai nā mākua o nā keiki kūikawā. He haiki ke kumuhana, he kakaikahi ka poe akamai, he nui na charlatans, a ua lilo na olelo a'o a na makua ma'amau i mea pili ole i na keiki me ka autism a hoonui wale i ka manao o ka loneliness a me ka hoomaopopo ole. ʻO ka noho ʻana i kēia mea hiki ʻole ke hoʻomanawanui no nā mea a pau, a pono ʻoe e ʻimi i kahi kumu kākoʻo.

Ma Facebook (kahi hui extremist i pāpā ʻia ma Rūsia), aia nā hui kūikawā o nā mākua o nā keiki me ka autism, a hiki iā ʻoe ke heluhelu i nā puke i kākau ʻia e nā mākua i hoʻomaopopo i ko lākou ʻike, kūʻokoʻa a honua i ka manawa like. ʻO ke ao holoʻokoʻa - no ka mea, ʻo nā keiki āpau me ka autism e alakaʻi i ko lākou mau mākua ma waena o Gehena, kūʻokoʻa - no ka mea, ʻaʻohe keiki ʻelua i loaʻa nā hōʻailona like, ʻoiai ka maʻi like.

Ma waho aʻe o ka mehameha i loaʻa i nā mākua kūikawā, manaʻo lākou i ke kuleana nui a me ka makaʻu. Ke hānai ʻoe i kahi keiki neurotypical, hāʻawi ʻo ia iā ʻoe i nā manaʻo, a maopopo ʻoe i ka mea e hana a me ka mea ʻole.

ʻO nā pō hiamoe ʻole o nā mākua o nā keiki maʻamau e uku ʻia me nā ʻakaʻaka a me nā pūliki ʻana o nā keiki, hoʻokahi "Mama, aloha wau iā ʻoe" ua lawa ka manaʻo o ka makuahine e like me ke kanaka hauʻoli loa ma ka honua, ʻoiai inā he kekona ma mua o ia. ka palena o ka manaʻolana mai ka hana nui a me ka luhi.

Pono ke keiki me ka autism i ka makua makua mai na makua a me na makuahine. ʻAʻole lohe ka hapa nui o kēia mau mākua iā "Mama, aloha wau iā ʻoe" a i ʻole e loaʻa i kahi honi mai kā lākou keiki, a pono lākou e ʻimi i nā heleuma ʻē aʻe a me nā kukui o ka manaʻolana, nā hōʻailona ʻē aʻe o ka holomua, a me nā ana ʻokoʻa loa o ka holomua. E loaʻa iā lākou nā ala ponoʻī e ola ai, hoʻōla a hauʻoli me kā lākou mau keiki kūikawā.