ʻEkolu mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no nā kāne e hoʻomaka i kahi pilina me nā wahine ʻōpio ma mua o lākou

ʻO ia mau moʻolelo, kahi i ʻoi aku ai kona ʻoi aku ma mua o ia, ʻo ka pinepine he mau triangles aloha, aia kekahi mau wahine. No laila, ʻo ka wahaheʻe a me ke kumakaia he mau hoa pili pinepine me ka wahine me ka ʻokoʻa o ke kāne.

"ʻO nā kumu i makemake nui ai nā kāne i nā wahine ʻōpio, ʻaʻole ia e pili i ka moekolohe, akā i ka makemake nui e hōʻoia i ko lākou kāne kāne a me ka hiki ʻana o loko," wahi a ka psychologist Hugo Schweitzer. "ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo he liʻiliʻi ka maikaʻi o nā wahine o ka makahiki like, ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hōʻoiaʻiʻo i ke kanaka palupalu a ʻelemakule e piha ana ʻo ia i ka ikaika. No ka hana ʻana i kēia i ka hihia o kekahi poʻe i hele i ka paepae o ka ʻōpio, hiki i kahi wahine momona ʻōpio ke hoʻokomo i nā manawa ola hou a hōʻoia i kā lākou, e like me iwakālua mau makahiki i hala aku nei, he mea nui i mua.

ʻAʻole wau he psychotherapist a i ʻole he gerontologist, he wahine wau i hele i ka male male ma hope o kona ʻike ʻana ua hoʻopunipuni kāna kāne iaʻu me kahi kaikamahine ʻōpio. Ua hele au i loko o nā pō ʻeha a me ka hiamoe ʻole a hoʻoholo wau e hoʻopau i koʻu pilina me kaʻu mea aloha.

Ua hala aku ma mua o ʻelima mau makahiki mai ia manawa. ʻAʻole maikaʻi ka pilina o ke kāne me kāna haku wahine. A ʻoiai ʻaʻole i ola ko mākou ʻohana, hoʻopaʻa mau mākou a ʻike wau i ka nui o kāna mau ʻike. ʻO nā mea ʻē aʻe aʻu i ʻike ai ua hele i nā ʻike like, a hiki iaʻu ke kaʻana like i kaʻu mau ʻike.

No laila, inā he kāne ʻoe a ke alo nei i kahi koho, eia ʻekolu ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo.

Manaʻo kōkua #1 - e hoʻoholo i kou manaʻo

ʻAe, e hoʻoholo i kou manaʻo! ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka ʻōlelo ʻoiaʻiʻo, lawe ʻia e ka puke moʻolelo, ua haʻalele ʻoe i kāu wahine me ka mālama ʻana i nā keiki, ka home a me nā mākua ʻelemakule i ka wā kahiko. E ʻoi aku ka pololei inā hoʻoholo ʻoe i ka hoʻoholo hope a haʻalele.

ʻAʻole pono ʻo ia e mālama i kou olakino, kala i kou ʻano ʻino a me kou ʻano, ʻoi aku ka kūpono no kahi ʻōpio kipi. E noho me ka ʻōpio ipo a ʻike i ka lōʻihi o kona hopohopo no kou koko kiʻekiʻe.

Manaʻo kōkua #2 — Mai hoʻolohe i ka manaʻo o kekahi

ʻOiai ʻoe e noʻonoʻo nei ua lili kou mau hoaaloha iā ʻoe, hōʻike ʻoe iā lākou i kou paʻakikī a me kou nāwaliwali. ʻO kahi hoaaloha hou me ka palapala hānau e pili ana i ka makahiki āu i puka ai mai ke kula a i ʻole ke kolamu e hōʻike ana i kou palekana a makemake ʻoe e heʻe ʻelua i ka wai hoʻokahi. No laila e kamaʻilio lākou e pili ana iā ʻoe ma hope o kou mau maka.

Manaʻo kōkua #3 — Mai hōʻino iā ʻoe iho

Mai kēlā manawa kēia manawa e hoʻomāinoino ʻia ʻoe e ka hewa a e hoʻāʻo ʻoe e loaʻa ka manaʻo o ka mahalo iā ʻoe iho i mua o ka poʻe i hilinaʻi mua i kāu mau hoʻoholo - kāu mau keiki. ʻAʻole paha ʻoe e hālāwai me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana, a ʻo ka mea nui ʻaʻole ʻo ka ex-wife e hoʻokūʻē iā ʻoe.

Nui paha ke aloha o nā keiki iā ʻoe, akā no laila ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke hoʻomanawanui i ka noho ʻana me ka nalo ʻole o ka mahalo i ko lākou makuakāne, nona ka mana nui iā lākou.

"Ua like ia me kahi kaʻa i makemake nui ʻia, ua hala koke ka manaʻo o ka mea hou," i ʻōlelo mai ai kekahi kamaʻāina iaʻu, ʻo ia hoʻi i hele i loko o kahi pilikia ʻohana a i loko, kahi āna i hoʻāʻo maikaʻi ʻole ai e hoʻōla me kahi puke. "I kēia manawa ua maopopo iaʻu inā, me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana, ua hoʻololi au i kahi mea kahiko i kaʻu" mīkini ola "ma mua o ke kūʻai ʻana i kahi mea hou, hiki paha iaʻu ke hoʻoponopono i nā mea he nui."

I ka wā lōʻihi, i loko o ia mau kūlana e pāʻani mau ana i ka mea ʻoi aku ka nui, ʻaʻohe mea e hana pinepine ai.