Contents
ʻO kēia hihia kekahi o nā mea he nui: ma hope o kekahi mau makahiki i loko o kahi ʻohana hānai, ua hoʻopau hou nā keiki i kahi keiki makua ʻole. Ua neʻe nā kāne ʻo Romanchuk me 7 mau keiki hānai i Moscow mai Kaliningrad, akā, no ka loaʻa ʻole o nā haʻawina kālā, hoʻihoʻi lākou i nā keiki i ka mālama o ka mokuʻāina. ʻAʻole mākou e ʻimi i ka pono a me ka hewa. ʻO kā mākou pahuhopu ke hoʻomaopopo i ke kumu o kēia hana. Ua kamaʻilio mākou me kekahi mau loea e pili ana i kēia.
Ua hoʻomaka kēia moʻolelo i ʻehā mau makahiki i hala aku nei: ua lawe kekahi mau kāne mai Kaliningrad i kahi papa lua, hoʻokahi makahiki ma hope - kona kaikaina. A laila - ʻelua mau keiki hou ma Kaliningrad a ʻekolu, nā kaikunāne a me nā kaikuahine, ma Petrozavodsk.
Hoʻokahi makahiki a me ka hapa i hala aku nei, ua neʻe ka ʻohana i Moscow, akā ʻaʻole i loaʻa iā lākou ke kūlana o kahi ʻohana hānai metropolitan a hoʻonui i nā uku no kēlā me kēia keiki (85 rubles ma kahi o 000 rubles). I ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hōʻole, ua hoʻihoʻi ka kāne i nā keiki i ka mālama o ka mokuʻāina.
No laila ua hoʻopau nā keiki i kahi keiki makua ʻole o Moscow. ʻEhā o lākou e hoʻihoʻi ʻia i ka hale makua makua ʻo Kaliningrad, a hiki ke lawe ʻia nā keiki mai Petrozavodsk i ka wā e hiki mai ana.
"E LAWE A HAALELE I NA KEIKI I KE AHIAHI - HE LOA KEIA"
ʻO Vadim Menshov, ka luna o ka Nash Dom Family Education Assistance Center:
ʻO ke kūlana ma Rusia iho ua lilo i mea pahū. ʻO ka hoʻoili nui ʻana o nā keiki ma nā hui nui i nā ʻohana he pilikia. Hoʻohana pinepine ʻia nā kānaka e nā mea kūʻai aku. ʻAʻole lākou a pau, ʻoiaʻiʻo, akā, i kēia hihia, ua like ia me ia, a ua pau nā keiki i ko mākou hale makua ʻole. Maikaʻi loa au me nā ʻohana hānai ʻoihana. Akā,ʻo ka hua'ōlelo nui maʻaneʻi he "ʻoihana".
He okoa na mea a pau maanei. E hoʻoponopono iā ʻoe iho: lawe kahi ʻohana mai Kaliningrad i nā keiki mai ko lākou ʻāina, akā hele pū me lākou i Moscow. No nā keiki hāʻawi lākou i kahi alana: i ka nui o 150 rubles. i kēlā me kēia mahina - akā ʻaʻole lawa kēia no ka ʻohana, no ka mea, hoʻolimalima lākou i kahi hale nui. Hoʻoholo ka ʻaha i ka manaʻo ʻaʻole i makemake i nā kahu - a lawe lākou i nā keiki i ka hale hānai makua ʻo Moscow. Hāʻawi nā luna kiaʻi e kipa aku i nā keiki, lawe iā lākou i ka home no ka hopena pule i ʻole lākou e manaʻo ua haʻalele ʻia, a ma hope o kekahi manawa e lawe aku iā lākou no ka maikaʻi. Akā, hōʻole ka poʻe mālama i ka hana.
Ua kāhiko maikaʻi ʻia nā kāne, maikaʻi ke ʻano, akā ʻaʻole uē nā keiki a ʻaʻole hoʻōho: "Mama!" He nui ka olelo
Lawe ʻia nā keiki i ko mākou hale hānai a haʻalele i ke ahiahi. Ua kamaʻilio wau me lākou, nani nā kāne: kāhiko maikaʻi, ʻano maikaʻi, akā ʻaʻole uē nā keiki a ʻaʻole hoʻōho: "Mama!" 'Ōlelo nui kēia. ʻOiai ʻo ke keikikāne mua - he ʻumikūmālua ona makahiki - hopohopo nui. Hana pū kekahi psychologist me ia. Ke kamaʻilio pinepine nei mākou e pili ana i ka pilikia o nā keiki mai nā keiki makua ʻole: ʻaʻohe o lākou manaʻo aloha. Akā ua ulu kēia mau keiki i kahi ʻohana hānai…
"KE KUMU NUI O KA HOI ANA O NA KEIKI, O KA PALAPALA KA MANAO"
ʻO Olena Tseplik, ke poʻo o ka Find a Family Charitable Foundation:
No ke aha i hoihoi ʻia ai nā keiki hānai? ʻO ka hapanui pinepine, ʻike nā mākua i nā kuhi hewa koʻikoʻi i loko o kahi keiki, ʻaʻole ʻike i ka mea e hana ai no ia mea, ʻaʻole loaʻa ke kōkua. Hoʻomaka ka luhi nui, hoʻomaka ka manaʻo. Hiki ke piʻi mai kāu mau ʻeha ponoʻī ʻole a me nā pilikia ʻē aʻe.
Eia kekahi, ʻaʻole hiki ke ʻōlelo ʻia ua ʻae ʻia ka hānai hānai e ka hui. Loaʻa ka ʻohana hānai iā ia iho i kahi noho kaʻawale: ma ke kula, kaomi ʻia ke keiki hānai, hoʻokuʻu nā ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha i nā ʻōlelo koʻikoʻi. ʻAʻole hiki i nā mākua ke hana i kekahi mea iā lākou iho, a ʻaʻohe wahi e loaʻa ai ke kōkua. A he hoʻi ka hopena.
Pono ʻia kahi ʻōnaehana e kōkua ai i nā ʻohana hānai i ka hoʻoponopono hou ʻana o ke keiki. Pono mākou i nā lawelawe kākoʻo hiki ke loaʻa me nā curators kaiaulu o nā ʻohana, psychologists, loio, kumu e mākaukau e "ʻohi" i kekahi pilikia, kākoʻo i ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne, e wehewehe iā lākou he mea maʻamau a hoʻonā ʻia ko lākou mau pilikia, a kōkua me ka hoʻonā.
Aia kekahi "systemic failure": ʻaʻole i lilo ka ʻōnaehana mokuʻāina i wahi kākoʻo, akā he mana hoʻomalu. He mea maopopo no ka hele pū ʻana me ka ʻohana, pono ka meaʻai maikaʻi loa, kahi paʻakikī loa e hoʻokō ma ka pae mokuʻāina.
Inā hoʻihoʻi lākou i ka mea hānai, a laila ʻo kēia, ma ke ʻano, he ʻano hiki - ke manaʻo nei ke keiki koko
Pono e hoʻomaopopo ʻia ʻo ka hoʻi ʻana o kahi keiki hānai i kahi keiki makua ʻole e hōʻeha nui i nā ʻohana āpau. No ke keiki ponoi, ʻo ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana he kumu ʻē aʻe e nalowale ai ka hilinaʻi i ke kanaka makua, kokoke a ola hoʻokahi. ʻAʻole ma muli o ko lākou mau genetics maikaʻi ʻole, e like me kā mākou e manaʻo ai, akā ma muli o nā traumas i loaʻa i ke keiki i loko o kahi ʻohana hānau, i ka wā o kona nalowale ʻana a i ka wā o ka hānai ʻana i kahi keiki makua ʻole. No laila, ʻo ka hana ʻino he hōʻike ia o ka ʻeha nui o loko. Ke ʻimi nei ke keiki i ke ala e hōʻike aku ai i nā mākua i ka ʻino a me ka paʻakikī o ia mea, me ka manaʻolana e hoʻomaopopo ʻia a hoʻōla ʻia. A inā he hoʻi mai, no ke keiki, he ʻike maoli ia ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi ke lohe a kōkua iā ia.
Aia kekahi mau hopena pilikanaka: ʻo ke keiki i hoʻihoʻi ʻia i kahi keiki makua ʻole, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka manawa e loaʻa hou ai kahi ʻohana. ʻIke nā moho no nā mākua hānai i kahi hōʻailona hoʻihoʻi ma ka waihona pilikino o ke keiki a noʻonoʻo i ke ʻano maikaʻi ʻole.
No nā mākua hānai i hāʻule ʻole, ʻo ka hoʻi ʻana o kahi keiki i kahi keiki makua ʻole he pilikia nui hoʻi. ʻO ka mea mua, e hōʻailona ke kanaka makua i kona insolvency. ʻO ka lua, hoʻomaopopo ʻo ia ke kumakaia nei ʻo ia i ke keiki, a hoʻomohala ʻo ia i kahi manaʻo paʻa o ka hewa. Ma ke ʻano maʻamau, ʻo ka poʻe i hele i ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana o kahi keiki hānai a laila koi i kahi hoʻoponopono lōʻihi.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, aia kekahi mau moʻolelo ʻē aʻe i ka wā e pale ai nā mākua iā lākou iho, hoʻololi i ka hewa no ka hoʻi ʻana i ke keiki iā ia iho (ua hana ʻino ʻo ia, ʻaʻole makemake e noho pū me mākou, ʻaʻole aloha iā mākou, ʻaʻole hoʻolohe), akā ʻo kēia wale nō. he pale, a ʻaʻole e nalo ka ʻeha mai kona hemahema.
A, ʻoiaʻiʻo, paʻakikī loa i nā keiki koko ke ʻike i nā kūlana inā loaʻa i kā lākou kahu. Inā hoʻihoʻi ʻia ke keiki hānai, a laila, ʻo kēia, ma ke kumu, he hanana hiki ke hiki - ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka manaʻo o ke keiki maoli i ka wā i nalowale ai kāna "kaikunāne" a i ʻole "kaikuahine" i nehinei mai ke ola o ka ʻohana a hoʻi i ka hale makua ʻole.
"AIA KA MEA I KA HILI OLE O KA PANAHANA"
ʻO Elena Alshanskaya, ke poʻo o ka Charitable Foundation "E kōkua i nā keiki makua ʻole":
ʻO ka mea pōʻino, ʻaʻole kaʻawale ka hoʻi ʻana o nā keiki i nā keiki makua ʻole: aia ma mua o 5 o lākou i ka makahiki. He pilikia paʻakikī kēia. ʻAʻohe kūlike o ka ʻōnaehana ʻohana, e kala mai i ka tautology. Mai ka hoʻomaka ʻana, ʻaʻole lawa nā koho a pau no ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana i ka ʻohana hānau a i ʻole ka mālama ʻana, ʻaʻole i waiho ʻia ke kahua o ke koho ʻana i nā mākua no kēlā me kēia keiki ponoʻī, me kona mau ʻano āpau, ke ʻano, nā pilikia, ʻaʻohe loiloi. nā kumuwaiwai ʻohana e pili ana i nā pono o ke keiki.
ʻAʻohe mea hana me kahi keiki kikoʻī, me kona mau ʻeha, me ka hoʻoholo ʻana i ke ala o ke ola e pono ai: ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kona hoʻi ʻana i ka home, i kahi ʻohana lōʻihi a i kahi keiki hou, a he aha ke ʻano o ia mea e pono ai. e kūpono iā ia. ʻAʻole mākaukau pinepine ke keiki e neʻe i kahi ʻohana, a ʻaʻole mākaukau ka ʻohana e hālāwai me kēia keiki.
He mea nui ke kākoʻo o ka ʻohana e nā loea, akā ʻaʻole i loaʻa. Aia ka mana, akā ʻo ke ʻano o ka hoʻonohonoho ʻana he mea ʻole. Me ke kākoʻo maʻamau, ʻaʻole e neʻe koke ka ʻohana, i kahi kūlana o ka maopopo ʻole, ma hea a me ka mea e noho ai me nā keiki hānai ma kahi ʻāina ʻē.
ʻAʻole wale nā kuleana no ka ʻohana hānai e pili ana i ke keiki, akā no ka mokuʻāina e pili ana i nā keiki
ʻOiai inā ua hoʻoholo ʻia, no ka laʻana, ma muli o nā pono olakino o ke keiki, pono e hoʻoneʻe ʻia ʻo ia i kahi ʻāina ʻē aʻe i loaʻa kahi keʻena olakino kūpono, pono e hoʻoneʻe ʻia ka ʻohana mai ka lima a i ka lima i nā luna alakaʻi o ka ʻāina. , pono e ʻae mua ʻia nā neʻe a pau.
ʻO kekahi pilikia ka uku. Nui loa ka laha: ma kekahi mau wahi, hiki i ka uku o ka ʻohana hānai i ka nui o 2-000 rubles, ma nā mea ʻē aʻe - 3 rubles. A ʻo kēia, ʻoiaʻiʻo, hoʻonāukiuki i nā ʻohana e neʻe. Pono e hana i kahi ʻōnaehana e ʻoi aku ka nui a i ʻole ka like o nā uku - ʻoiaʻiʻo, e noʻonoʻo ana i nā ʻano o nā ʻāina.
Ma keʻano maʻamau, pono e loaʻa nā uku i ka'āina kahi i hiki mai ai kaʻohana. ʻAʻole wale nā kuleana no ka ʻohana hānai e pili ana i ke keiki, akā no ka mokuʻāina hoʻi e pili ana i nā keiki nāna i hoʻololi i ka hoʻonaʻauao. ʻOiai inā neʻe ka ʻohana mai kēlā ʻāina a i ʻāina, ʻaʻole hiki ke wehe ʻia kēia mau kuleana mai ka mokuʻāina.
"UA OLA NA KEIKI I KA EHA LOA"
ʻO Irina Mlodik, psychologist, gestalt therapist:
Ma kēia moʻolelo, ʻike paha kākou i ka piko o ka hau hau. A ʻo ka ʻike wale ʻana iā ia, maʻalahi ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana i nā mākua i ka manaʻo kuko a me ka makemake e loaʻa kālā i nā keiki (ʻoiai ʻo ka hānai ʻana i nā keiki hānai ʻaʻole ke ala maʻalahi loa e loaʻa kālā). Ma muli o ka nele o ka ʻike, hiki i kekahi ke waiho i mua i nā mana. ʻEkolu aʻu.
- Ka manaʻo pilikino, ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi hui paʻakikī, ʻo nā pawn o nā keiki a me ke aupuni Moscow.
— ʻAʻole hiki ke pāʻani i ke kuleana o nā mākua. Me nā pilikia a me nā pilikia a pau, ua hopena kēia i ka psychosis a me ka haʻalele ʻana i nā keiki.
— ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i nā keiki a me ka haki ʻana o ka pilina - ua maopopo paha i nā kahu ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke mālama i nā keiki, a ua manaʻo lākou e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kekahi ʻohana.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi aku i nā keiki ʻaʻole mākaukau kēia mau mākua e lilo i mau mākua. Ua ho'āʻo lākou akā ʻaʻole i lanakila
I ka hihia mua, he mea nui e hana i kahi hoʻokolokolo i ʻole e loaʻa hou nā mea like. Ma ka lua a me ke kolu, hiki ke kōkua ka hana a ka kāne me ke kanaka psychologist a i ʻole psychotherapist.
Inā hōʻole nā kahu ma muli o ka manaʻo ponoʻī, hiki i kekahi ke haʻi i nā keiki ʻaʻole mākaukau kēia mau mākua e lilo i mau mākua no lākou. Ua ho'āʻo lākou, ʻaʻole i lanakila.
I kēlā me kēia hihia, ua ʻeha nui nā keiki, ua ʻike i ka hōʻole ʻana i ke ola, ka ʻoki ʻana i nā pilina koʻikoʻi, ka pau ʻana o ka hilinaʻi i ka honua makua. He mea nui e hoʻomaopopo i ka mea i hana maoli ʻia. No ka mea, hoʻokahi mea e ola ai me ka ʻike o "ua hoʻohana ʻia ʻoe e ka poʻe scammers," a ʻo kahi ʻē aʻe e noho me ka ʻike o "ua hāʻule kou mau mākua" a i ʻole "ua hoʻāʻo kou mau mākua e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i nā mea āpau, akā ua hāʻule lākou a manaʻo lākou he poʻe mākua ʻē aʻe. ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
Text: Dina Babaeva, Marina Velikanova, Yulia Tarasenko.