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Ma hope o ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana, nui ka poʻe i maopopo: ʻaʻole lākou makemake e hoʻokuʻu hou i kēlā hoa a i ʻole hoa i loko o ko lākou ola. A ke hana nei nae lakou. Hana mākou i nā pilina me nā kāne a me nā wahine o ke ʻano like. No ke aha mai?
I kēia mau lā, ua kālailai nā kānaka noiʻi mai Kanada i ka ʻikepili mai nā poʻe i komo i kahi haʻawina ʻohana lōʻihi o Kelemania kahi e hāʻawi mau ai nā wahine a me nā kāne mai ka makahiki 2008 i ka ʻike e pili ana iā lākou iho a me kā lākou mau pilina a hoʻopiha i nā hoʻokolohua e pili ana i ke ʻano o ka wehe ʻana, ka noʻonoʻo, ke aloha, ka hoʻomanawanui, ka hopohopo. Ua hoʻololi nā poʻe 332 i nā hoa hana i kēia manawa, kahi i hiki ai i nā mea noiʻi ke hoʻokomo i nā hoa ola o mua a i kēia manawa i ka loiloi.
Ua ʻike ka poʻe noiʻi i ka nui o ka uhi ʻana i nā moʻolelo o nā hoa mua a me nā hoa hou. I ka huina, ua hoʻopaʻa ʻia nā kikowaena no 21 mau hōʻailona. "Ke hōʻike nei kā mākou hopena i ka koho ʻana i ka hoa ma mua o ka mea i manaʻo ʻia," wahi a nā mea kākau.
Eia naʻe, aia kekahi mau ʻokoʻa. ʻO ka poʻe hiki ke manaʻo ʻia he ʻoi aku ka wehe (extroverts) e koho i nā hoa hou ʻaʻole like me ka introverts. Malia paha, manaʻoʻiʻo ka poʻe noiʻi, no ka mea ʻoi aku ka laulā o kā lākou pōʻai kaiaulu a, no laila, ʻoi aku ka waiwai o ka koho. Akā paha ʻo ka manaʻo holoʻokoʻa ke ʻimi nei nā extroverts i nā ʻike hou i nā wahi āpau o ke ola. Makemake lākou i nā mea hou a pau, ʻaʻole i hoʻāʻo ʻia.
A no ke aha ka nui o mākou e ʻimi nei i nā ʻano hoa like, ʻoiai nā manaʻo āpau ʻaʻole e hana hou i nā hewa? Maʻaneʻi, hiki i nā kānakaʻepekema ke noʻonoʻo a waiho i mua i nā kuhiakau. Malia paha ke kamaʻilio nei mākou e pili ana i nā coincidences maʻalahi, no ka mea maʻamau mākou e koho i kekahi mai ka nohona kaiaulu a mākou i maʻa ai. Malia paha ua hoihoi mākou i kahi mea ʻike a kamaʻāina. A i ʻole paha mākou, e like me nā recidivists incorrigible, e hoʻi mau i ke ala i hahau ʻia.
Ua lawa ka nānā ʻana a hoʻoholo ʻia
He mea kūkākūkā pili a me ka mea kākau o Who's Right For Me? ʻO ia + He = Puʻuwai ”He pane ponoʻī ʻo Christian Thiel: ʻo kā mākou hoʻolālā no ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa e ala mai i ka wā kamaliʻi. No nā poʻe he nui, he pilikia paha kēia.
E lawe kākou i ka moʻolelo o Alexander i kumu hoʻohālike. He 56 kona mau makahiki, a no ʻekolu mahina i kēia manawa he ʻōpio ʻo ia. ʻO Anna kona inoa, he wiwi ʻo ia, a ua makemake nui ʻo Alexander i kona lauoho lauoho lōʻihi a ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike ʻo kāna hoa "like ʻole" e hoʻomanaʻo nui ana i kāna mea i hala, ʻo Maria 40 makahiki. Inā hoʻokomo ʻoe iā lākou ma kahi ʻaoʻao, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo he mau kaikuahine lākou.
ʻO ka nui o kā mākou noho ʻoiaʻiʻo iā mākou iho i ke koho ʻana i kahi hoa pili i hōʻoia ʻia e nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni a hōʻike i nā hōkū ʻoihana. Ua huki ʻia ʻo Leonardo DiCaprio i ke ʻano like o nā hiʻohiʻona blonde. ʻO Kate Moss - i nā kāne me ka hopena haʻihaʻi e pono ai ke kōkua, i kekahi manawa - ke komo ʻana o kahi narcologist. Hiki ke hoʻomau mau ʻia ka papa inoa. Akā, no ke aha lākou e hāʻule maʻalahi ai i ka maunu hoʻokahi? Pehea i hoʻokumu ʻia ai kā lākou papa koho hoa? A i ka manawa hea e lilo ai ia i pilikia maoli?
Hoʻolei maʻalahi mākou i ko mākou manaʻo i ka poʻe i kūpono ʻole i kā mākou poni.
Manaʻo ʻo Christian Thiel ua kaupalena ʻia kā mākou koho e ke ʻano paʻa o ka hoʻolālā like. E lawe, no ka laʻana, ʻo Christina 32 makahiki, nona kahi wahi palupalu no nā kaʻa retro maʻamau. ʻElima makahiki i noho hoʻokahi ai ʻo Christina. I kekahi lā aʻe, ʻoiai e kali ana i kahi lele, ua hopu ʻo ia i ka maka o kahi kāne - ikaika, lauoho lauoho. ʻAneʻane huli koke ka wahine, a hoʻouna i ke kāne "i ka hīnaʻi." Makemake mau ʻo ia i ka liʻiliʻi a me ka lauoho ʻeleʻele, no laila inā ʻo ka "mea nānā" he hale kaʻa holoʻokoʻa o nā kaʻa waina, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hoʻowalewale ʻia.
Hoʻolei maʻalahi mākou i ko mākou manaʻo i ka poʻe i kūpono ʻole i kā mākou poni. ʻO kēia, e like me ka mea i ʻike ʻia e nā mea noiʻi, lawe wale i kahi hapa o kekona. No laila, lawa ka nānā ʻana i ka hoʻoholo hope loa.
ʻO ka pua a Cupid mai ka wā kamaliʻi
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke aloha aloha i ka ʻike mua ʻana i manaʻoʻiʻo ʻia e nā poʻe he nui. Akā, i kēia manawa pōkole, ke hoʻāʻo nei mākou inā ʻike mākou i nā mea ʻē aʻe i makemake ʻia. Ma ke kumumanaʻo, pono e kapa ʻia kēia erotica. Ma ka moʻolelo Helene, ʻaʻole i loaʻa kēia huaʻōlelo, akā aia kahi ʻike pololei o ke kaʻina hana ponoʻī. Inā ʻoe e hoʻomanaʻo, ua kī ʻo Eros i kahi pua gula i hoʻā koke i ka kāne.
ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ka pua i kekahi manawa "i loko o ka puʻuwai" i ka hapanui o nā hihia hiki ke wehewehe ʻia ma ke ʻano unromantic loa - e ka manaʻo i ka makua o ka wahine ʻē. ʻO ka makua kāne o Christina mai ka hiʻohiʻona hope loa he ʻulaʻula lahilahi. I kēia manawa, ma kahi o kona mau makahiki he 60, ua momona a hina hina, akā i ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana o kāna kaikamahine, ʻo ia ke kanaka ʻōpio i hele pū me ia i ke kahua pāʻani i nā Pōʻaono a heluhelu i nā moʻolelo moʻolelo iā ia i nā ahiahi. ʻO kāna aloha nui mua.
ʻAʻole ʻae ka nui o ka like ʻana i ka eroticism: ʻo ka makaʻu i ka incest e noho hohonu loa i loko o mākou.
ʻO kēia hiʻohiʻona o ka ʻimi ʻana i kahi mea i koho ʻia inā maikaʻi ka pilina ma waena o ka wahine a me kona makuakāne. A laila, i ka wā e hui ai, ʻo ia - maʻamau me ka ʻike ʻole - ke ʻimi nei i nā kāne e like me ia. Akā ʻo ka paradox ʻo ka makua kāne a me ka mea i koho ʻia he ʻano like a ʻokoʻa i ka manawa like. ʻAʻole ʻae ka nui o ka like ʻana i ka eroticism: ʻo ka makaʻu i ka incest e noho hohonu loa i loko o mākou. ʻO kēia, ʻoiaʻiʻo, pili pū kekahi i nā kāne e ʻimi nei i nā wahine i ke kiʻi o ko lākou makuahine.
Ke koho ʻana i ka hoa like me ka makua o ke kāne ʻē, pinepine mākou me ka ʻike ʻole i ka nānā ʻana i ka kala lauoho, ke kiʻekiʻe, ka nui, nā hiʻohiʻona maka. I kekahi mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ua helu ka poʻe noiʻi Hungarian i ka nui o nā kumuhana 300. Ua nānā lākou i ka mamao ma waena o nā maka, a me ka lōʻihi o ka ihu a me ka laulā o ka auwae. A ua ʻike lākou i kahi pilina ma waena o nā hiʻohiʻona helehelena o nā makua kāne a me nā hoa pili o nā kaikamahine. ʻO ke kiʻi like no nā kāne: ua lawelawe pū ko lākou mau makuahine ma ke ʻano he "prototypes" o nā hoa.
ʻAʻole i ka makuakāne a ʻaʻole i ka makuahine
Akā, pehea inā he hewa ka ʻike me ka makuahine a i ʻole ka makuakāne? I kēia hihia, "koho mākou i ke kū'ē." "I koʻu ʻike, ma kahi o 20% o ka poʻe e ʻimi nei i kahi hoa i hōʻoia ʻia ʻaʻole e hoʻomanaʻo iā lākou i ka makuahine a i ʻole ka makuakāne," wehewehe ka loea. ʻO kēia ka mea i loaʻa iā Max 27 makahiki: he lauoho ʻeleʻele lōʻihi kona makuahine. I kēlā me kēia manawa e hui ai ʻo ia me kahi wahine o kēia ʻano, hoʻomanaʻo ʻo ia i nā kiʻi mai ka wā kamaliʻi a no laila koho ʻo ia i nā hoa like ʻole me kona makuahine.
Akā, ʻaʻole ia e hahai mai kēia haʻawina ʻo ka hāʻule ʻana i ke aloha me ke ʻano like he kuhihewa. Akā, he manawa kēia e noʻonoʻo ai: pehea e hiki ai iā mākou ke aʻo e mālama i nā ʻano o kahi hoa hou ma ke ʻano ʻokoʻa i ʻole e hehi i ka rake like.