No ke aha i inaina ai na wahine i kekahi i kekahi?

"ʻO ka pilina wahine maoli, ka pilina a me nā manaʻo kaikuahine. Akā ʻokoʻa ka hopena. ʻAʻole makemake ʻia mākou a me ko mākou nohona e ka nui o nā wahine a puni no ka mea ʻo mākou "mai Venus," wahi a ka sexologist a me ka loea pili ʻo Nikki Goldstein.

Hōʻike ʻo ia i ʻekolu mau kumu i hana ʻole ai nā wahine i kaua:

lili;

ka manaʻo o ka nāwaliwali;

ka hoʻokūkū.

"Ua hoʻomaka ka inaina ma waena o nā kaikamāhine ma nā papa haʻahaʻa o ke kula. i ʻōlelo ai ʻo Joyce Benenson, he mea olaola evolutionary ma ke Kulanui ʻo Harvard. "Inā hōʻeha kino nā keikikāne i nā mea a lākou i makemake ʻole ai, hōʻike nā kaikamahine i ke kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe o ka huhū, i hōʻike ʻia ma ka maʻalea a me ka hoʻopunipuni."

Stereotype o kahi "kaikamahine maikai" ʻaʻole ia e ʻae i nā wahine liʻiliʻi e hōʻike ākea i ka huhū, a lilo ia i uhi. I ka wā e hiki mai ana, hoʻololi ʻia kēia ʻano hana i ka wā makua.

Ua noiʻi ʻo Joyce Benson¹ a ua manaʻo ʻo ia he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hana ʻana o nā wahine ma mua o nā hui. ʻOi loa inā ʻaʻole mālama ʻia ke kaulike ma ka hope a kū mai kekahi hierarchy. "Pono nā wahine e mālama i nā pono o kā lākou mau keiki a me nā mākua ʻelemakule i ko lākou ola ʻana," wahi a Joyce Beneson. "Inā ʻike ʻia ka ʻohana ʻohana, ka hoa male, nā hoaaloha" like "he mau mea kōkua i kēia pilikia paʻakikī, a laila ʻike nā wahine i ka hoʻoweliweli pololei ʻana i nā wahine malihini."

Wahi a Nikki Goldstein, ʻaʻole makemake ka hapa nui o nā wahine e kākoʻo i kā lākou mau hoa wahine kūleʻa ma ka hana ma muli o ka haʻahaʻa kiʻekiʻe a me ka hilinaʻi o ka nohona. ʻOi aku ka noʻonoʻo a me ka hopohopo i ke ʻano, hoʻohālikelike lākou iā lākou iho me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a kau i ko lākou makaʻu i ka hemahema ʻoihana ma luna o lākou.

Pēlā hoʻi, ʻo ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole i ke ʻano o ke ʻano o ke kanaka e ʻimi nei i nā hewa o kekahi. Ma waho aʻe o ka poʻe hana hana, ʻaʻole makemake nā kaiāulu wahine i nā lālā hoʻokuʻu ʻia a hoʻokamakama i ka wahine like.

"Hoʻohana pinepine ʻia ka moekolohe e kekahi mau wahine i mea hana no ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i nā pilikia like ʻole," wahi a Nikki Goldstein. - Hāʻawi ka moʻomeheu kaulana i ke kiʻi stereotypical o kahi nani mālama ʻole, ka mea i hoʻokolokolo ʻia ma ke ʻano o ka helehelena. Hoʻopilikia kēia mau manaʻo i nā wahine makemake e hoʻohanohano ʻia no ko lākou naʻauao.

Ua alakaʻi ʻo Sexologist Zhana Vrangalova mai ka National Institute for Development and Research ma New York i kahi noiʻi ma 2013 e hōʻike ana i nā haumāna wahine e pale i ka pilina me nā hoa papa e hoʻololi pinepine i nā hoa.². ʻAʻole like me nā haumāna, ʻaʻole koʻikoʻi ka nui o nā hoa pili i kā lākou mau hoaaloha.

"Akā, hiki i ka huhū ma waena o nā wahine i kona kiʻekiʻe ke loaʻa nā keiki. wahi a Nikki Goldstein. Pono e ʻae ʻia ke pēpē e uē? He pōʻino anei nā diapers? I ka makahiki hea e hoʻomaka ai ke keiki e hele a kamaʻilio? ʻO kēia mau mea a pau he mau kumuhana punahele no nā hakakā ma nā kaiāulu a me nā kahua pāʻani wahine. Ua luhi kēia mau pilina. Aia kekahi makuahine ʻē aʻe nāna e hoʻohewa i kāu mau hana makua.

I mea e hoʻopau ai i ka negativity, ʻōlelo ʻo Nikki Goldstein i nā wahine e hoʻomaikaʻi pinepine i kekahi i kekahi a mai makaʻu e kamaʻilio ākea e pili ana i kā lākou ʻike.

"I kekahi manawa he mea nui e hōʻoia i kāu mau hoaaloha: "ʻAe, ʻaʻole wau i hemolele. He wahine maʻamau wau. Ua like au me ʻoe." A laila hiki ke pani ʻia ka huāhuā e ke aloha a me ke aloha. "

¹ J. Benenson "Ka hoʻomohala ʻana o ka hoʻokūkū wahine kanaka: Allies and adversaries", Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, B, ʻOkakopa 2013.

² Z. Vrangalova et al. "Nā manu o ka hulu? ʻAʻole i ka wā e pili ana i ka moe kolohe », Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2013, № 31.