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Laki kekahi i ko lākou ola pilikino, a ʻaʻole hauʻoli kekahi. He aha kāu e hana ai i nā hewa like a koho i nā hoa pili hewa? Nānā ka mea kākau ʻo Peg Streep i nā kumu o kēia ʻano.
“Pehea i mare ai au i koʻu makuahine? Me he kanaka ʻokoʻa ʻo ia, akā ua like maoli nō. Pehea e hiki ʻole ai iaʻu ke ʻike i kāna hana ʻana iaʻu e like me kāna hana ʻana mai iaʻu? Hoka wau iaʻu iho," i nīnau ai lākou iā lākou iho.
ʻO nā mea a pau, ka poʻe i aloha ʻia a me ka poʻe i aloha ʻole ʻia, huki ʻia i ka mea kamaʻāina. Inā ʻoe i ulu i loko o kahi ʻohana i aloha ai a kākoʻo ai kou mau mākua iā ʻoe, hiki ke kōkua kēia ʻano hoihoi. ʻO ka mea nui, e ʻike maʻalahi ʻoe i ka poʻe e maʻalahi i ka hoʻomalu a me ka hoʻopunipuni, a hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i kahi hoa makemake i ka mea like me ʻoe: pili pili, kamaʻilio ākea, pili pili a me ke kākoʻo like. ʻO ka mea pōʻino, ʻaʻole kēia ka hihia no nā wahine pili i ka hopohopo ʻaʻole i hoʻokō ʻia ko lākou mau manaʻo i ka wā kamaliʻi. Hoʻopuka hou lākou i nā kūlana maʻamau i kā lākou pilina aloha. Eia nā kumu ʻelima e hana mau ai kēia:
1. Ua huki ʻia lākou i kahi kanaka aloha ʻole.
ʻO ka pahuhopu o ke kaikamahine ka lanakila ʻana i ke aloha o kona makuahine. Ma muli o kēia, ua manaʻo ʻo ia ʻaʻole hāʻawi ʻia ke aloha e like me ia, pono e loaʻa. Ke hālāwai ʻo ia me kahi kāne ʻokoʻa kona ʻano (e hōʻike ana i kekahi manawa mehana, a laila lilo i anu), makaʻu kēia iā ia, akā ʻike ʻia kāna ʻano.
Manaʻo nā wahine i aloha ʻole ʻia ʻo ka kūleʻa i ke aloha he "pono"
ʻAʻole like me ke kanaka ʻike i ke ʻano o ke aloha ʻoiaʻiʻo, nona, ʻaʻole ia he ala ala. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hoʻonāukiuki a huhū kona anuanu iā ia, akā hoʻoikaika ia iā ia e hoʻonui hou i kāna mau hana, e ho'āʻo ana e loaʻa hou kona aloha.
2. Makemake lākou e kau
Ma muli o ko lākou ʻike ʻole i ke ʻano a me ke ʻano o ke aloha, me he mea lā iā lākou ʻo ka holomua ma ke aloha ke "loaʻa." No laila, ʻo ka hoʻolauleʻa ʻana ma hope o ka hakakā e hōʻoluʻolu a hoʻoulu i ka hilinaʻi i aloha ʻia ʻo ia.
3. ʻO ka Insability Likes Romantic
ʻO nā wahine, ʻoi aku ka hopohopo o nā wahine i paʻa ʻole i ka naʻau, e huikau pinepine i ka paʻa ʻole o ka pilina me ka huhū huhū. ʻO ka loli mau o nā manaʻo mai ka hauʻoli ʻino, ke aloha hou ke kāne iā ia, i ka manaʻolana, i ka wā e kokoke ana ʻo ia e haʻalele, hoihoi a hoʻoheheʻe. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻokoʻa ke ʻano o ka makemake, akā ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike. Hōʻike kēia i ke kumu e makemake pinepine ai kēlā mau wahine i nā kāne me nā ʻano narcissistic.
4. Loaʻa iā lākou nā kumu no ka hana ʻino.
ʻO nā wahine i mālama ʻole ʻia i ka wā kamaliʻi, mālama ʻole ʻia a hoʻohewa mau ʻia (a hāʻule kēia mau mea āpau i ke ʻano o ka hōʻino waha), e hoʻōki i ka pane ʻana i kekahi ʻano o ka hoʻopunipuni a me ka hoʻomāinoino. Ma muli o kēia, ʻaʻole maopopo iā lākou ʻo ka hōʻino ʻana a i ʻole ka mana liʻiliʻi mai kahi hoa e hoʻopau i ka pilina.
No nā wāhine i hoʻoneleʻia i ke aloha makua, he mea nui ke aloha aʻaʻole e haʻalele.
Hāʻule maʻalahi lākou i ka pahele o ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana iā lākou iho a hoʻomaka lākou e noʻonoʻo ua hoʻonāukiuki lākou i ke kanaka i kēlā ʻano.
5. ʻAʻole lākou e pau ka manaʻolana a me ke kali ʻana i kahi hopena kupaianaha.
He mea koʻikoʻi i ka wahine ke aloha ʻia a ʻaʻole e haʻalele ʻia a hōʻole ʻia, no laila, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka lokomaikaʻi a i ʻole nā hana maikaʻi a ka hoa pili iā lākou, ʻoiai inā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hana a ka hoa.
Hoʻoulu ʻia nā manawa leʻaleʻa liʻiliʻi iā ia a hoʻohālikelike iā ia iho ʻo Cinderella, ka mea i hui me kāna aliʻi. No ka mea ʻaʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i ke ʻano o ke kūkulu ʻia ʻana o kahi pilina olakino holoʻokoʻa, e hoʻopau paha ʻo ia i ka haʻalele ʻana iā ia iho ma mua o ka mea āna i moeʻuhane ai a kūpono. I mea e hoʻoholo ai i ka naʻauao, pono ʻoe e ʻike a hoʻōla i ka ʻeha o ka wā kamaliʻi ma muli o ke aloha makua ʻole.