11 Nā ʻano kala kala ʻole

"ʻO ka mihi maoli a me ke kala ʻana e hiki ke hoʻihoʻi i ka hilinaʻi nalowale, ka lubricate i nā ʻeha o ka naʻau a hoʻihoʻi i nā pilina," wahi a ka mea hoʻoponopono ʻohana ʻo Dan Newhart. "Akā ʻo ka insincere wale nō e hoʻonui i ka hakakā." Hōʻike ʻo ia i 11 mau ʻano o ia kala kala.

1. “E kala mai inā…”

ʻAʻole hewa kēlā kalahala, no ka mea, ʻaʻole i lawe ke kanaka i ke kuleana piha no kāna mau ʻōlelo a me kāna mau hana, akā "manaʻo" wale nō he "hiki" ke hana.

mau laʻana:

• "E kala mai inā ua hana hewa wau."
• "E kala mai inā ua hōʻeha ʻoe iā ʻoe."

2. “ʻAe, kala mai au inā ʻoe…”

Hoʻololi kēia mau ʻōlelo i ka hewa ma luna o ka mea i pepehi ʻia. ʻAʻole ia he kalahala iki.

• "ʻAe, kala wau inā ua hewa ʻoe."
• "ʻAe, kala wau inā manaʻo ʻoe ua hana hewa wau."
• "ʻAe, kala wau inā ʻeha ʻoe."

3. “E kala mai, akā…”

ʻAʻole hiki i kēlā ʻano kalahala me ka mālama ʻana ke hoʻōla i ka ʻeha o ka naʻau.

• "E kala mai, akā, ʻaʻole e hana ʻino nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma kou wahi."
• "E kala mai, ʻoiai he nui ka poʻe e ʻike he ʻakaʻaka."
• "E kala mai, ʻoiai ʻo ʻoe iho (a) hoʻomaka (a)."
• "E kala mai, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kōkua."
• "E kala mai au, ʻoiai ua pololei kekahi hapa au."
• "ʻAe, kala mai ʻaʻole wau i hemolele."

4. "ʻO wau wale nō ..."

He kalahala hoʻopono wale kēia. Ua ʻōlelo ke kanaka ʻaʻole hewa a kūpono ʻole ka mea a lākou i hana ai e hōʻeha iā ʻoe.

• "ʻAe, he ʻakaʻaka wale nō wau."
• "Makemake au e kōkua."
• "Makemake au e hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe."
• "Makemake wau e hōʻike iā ʻoe i kahi manaʻo ʻē aʻe."

5. "Ua kala aku au"

Hoʻopau ke kanaka i kā lākou kalahala ma ka haʻi ʻana ʻaʻole pono ia.

• "Ua kala aku au."
• "Ua kala aku au i hoʻokahi miliona mau manawa no kēlā."

6. “E kala mai au i ka…”

Ke ho'āʻo nei ka mea kamaʻilio e haʻalele i kona mihi ma ke ʻano he kalahala, ʻoiai ʻaʻole e ʻae i ke kuleana.

• "E kala mai ua huhū ʻoe."
• "E kala mai au i nā hewa i hana ʻia."

7. “Ua maopopo iaʻu kēlā…”

Ho'āʻo ʻo ia e hōʻemi i ke koʻikoʻi o kāna hana a hōʻoia iā ia iho ma ka ʻae ʻole ʻana i ke kuleana no ka ʻeha āna i hana ai iā ʻoe.

• "Ua maopopo iaʻu ʻaʻole pono wau i hana i kēlā."
• "Ua maopopo iaʻu ua pono wau i nīnau mua iā ʻoe."
• "Ua maopopo iaʻu i kekahi manawa ke hana nei au me he ʻelepani i loko o kahi hale kūʻai Kina."

A me nā ʻano like ʻole: "Ua ʻike ʻoe ʻo wau ..."

Hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e hoʻohālike ʻaʻohe mea e kala aku ai a ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e huhū.

• "Ua ʻike ʻoe ua kala mai au."
• "Ua ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole wau i manaʻo maoli."
• "Ua ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole au e hōʻeha iā ʻoe."

8. “E kala mai inā ʻoe…”

I kēia hihia, koi ka mea hewa iā ʻoe e "uku" i kekahi mea no kāna kala ʻana.

• "E kala mai inā e kala mai ʻoe."
• "E kala mai au inā hoʻohiki ʻoe ʻaʻole ʻoe e hāpai hou i kēia kumuhana."

9. “Malia paha…”

He hōʻailona wale nō kēia o kahi kalahala, ʻaʻole maoli.

• "Malia paha ua aie au i kou kalahala."

10. "Ua ʻōlelo mai kekahi iaʻu e kala mai iā ʻoe"

He kalahala "haole" keia. Ke kala aku nei ka mea hewa no ka mea ua noi ʻia ʻo ia, inā ʻaʻole hiki ʻole iā ia ke hana.

• "Ua ʻōlelo mai kou makuahine iaʻu e kala mai iā ʻoe."
• "Ua ʻōlelo mai kahi hoaaloha he ʻaiʻē wau iā ʻoe."

11. “ʻAe! E kala mai iaʻu! māʻona?”

ʻOi aku ka leo o kēia "hōʻino" i ka hoʻoweliweli i kona leo.

• “ʻAe, ua lawa kēlā! Ua kala aku au!”
• “E hooki i ka hoohihia mai ia'u! Ua kala mai au!”

He aha ka mea e kani ai ke kala kala piha?

Ina noi aku ke kanaka i ke kala me ka oiaio, ua:

• ʻaʻole ia e kau i nā kūlana a ʻaʻole hoʻāʻo e hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ke ʻano o ka mea i hana ʻia;
• e hōʻike maopopo ana ua hoʻomaopopo ʻo ia i kou mau manaʻo a mālama iā ʻoe;
• mihi maoli;
• hoʻohiki ʻaʻole e hana hou kēia;
• inā kūpono, hāʻawi ʻia e hoʻoponopono i ka pōʻino i hana ʻia.

"He mea ʻole ke kala ʻana inā ʻaʻole mākou mākaukau e hoʻolohe pono i ka mea i hoʻopilikia ʻia a hoʻomaopopo i ka ʻeha a lākou i hana ai," wahi a Harriet Lerner psychotherapist. "Pono ʻo ia e ʻike ua hoʻomaopopo maoli mākou i kēia, ʻo ko mākou aloha a me ko mākou mihi ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo kona ʻeha a me kona huhū he kūpono, ua mākaukau mākou e hana i nā mea āpau i hiki ʻole ai ka mea i hana hou ʻia." No ke aha e ho'āʻo ai ka poʻe he nui e pakele me nā kala kala ʻole? Manaʻo paha lākou ʻaʻole lākou i hana hewa a ke hoʻāʻo nei lākou e mālama i ka maluhia o ka pilina. Malia paha ua hilahila lākou a hoʻāʻo e pale i kēia mau manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole.

"Inā ʻaneʻane ʻaʻole e kala mai ke kanaka no kāna mau hewa a me kāna hana hewa ʻana, hiki paha iā ia ke hōʻemi i ka hiki ke aloha, a i ʻole e loaʻa iā ia ka haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa a i ʻole ka maʻi pilikino," wahi a Dan Newhart. He mea pono paha e hoʻomau i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ia kanaka ke kumuhana o kahi kamaʻilio kaʻawale.

E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Dan Newhart kahi lāʻau lapaʻau ʻohana.