No ka holomua i ke ola, pono ʻoe e… E kaulana? E hana hou aku e loaa hou aku ? Hoʻoulu i ka māla huaʻai? He aha nā nā koho ola e hauʻoli ai mākou ? ʻO Polofesa Robert Waldinger o ke Kulanui ʻo Harvard (Massachusetts) he manaʻo pololei loa. I ka hopena o 2015, ua hōʻike ʻo ia i ka wā o kahi hālāwai TED i nānā ʻia e kekahi mau miliona mea hoʻohana pūnaewele nā hopena o kahi haʻawina kūʻokoʻa.

No 75 mau makahiki, ua kālailai kekahi mau hanauna o ka poʻe noiʻi i ke ola o 724 mau kāne ma United States. « ʻO ka Harvard Study on Adult Development ʻo ia paha ke aʻo lōʻihi loa o ke ola kanaka makua " holomua ʻo Professor Waldinger.

Ua hoʻomaka ʻia i ka makahiki 1938, i koho ʻia ʻelua hui o nā ʻōpio a me nā ʻōpio makua mai Boston mai. Hoʻokahi nōnā haumāna o ke Kulanui ʻo Harvard kaulana, aʻo kekahi mai nā kaiāulu hoʻilihune loa mai ke kūlanakauhale. "Ua ulu kēia mau ʻōpio [...] lilo lākou i poʻe limahana, loio, mason, kauka, kekahi o lākou Pelekikena o ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa. [John F. Kennedy]. Ua lilo kekahi i poe inu rama. ʻO kekahi schizophrenics. Ua loaʻa i kekahi piʻi i ke alapiʻi kaiaulu mai lalo a luna, a ʻo nā mea ʻē aʻe i hele mai ma kahi ʻē aʻe » pili i ka ʻepekema.

"He aha nā haʻawina e puka mai ana mai nā ʻumi kaukani ʻaoʻao o ka ʻike a mākou i hōʻiliʻili ai e pili ana i kēia mau ola? ʻAʻole pili nā haʻawina waiwai, kaulana, hana. " ʻAʻole. Wahi a nā ʻike o ka noiʻi ʻana, ʻo ka loaʻa ʻana o ke ola hoʻokō hiki ke hiki i nā mea āpau.  

Haʻawina 1: Hoʻopuni iā ​​ʻoe iho

ʻO ka noho hauʻoli ma luna o nā mea a pau ka pilina pili pono "ʻO ka poʻe i pili i ko lākou ʻohana, nā hoaaloha, nā kaiāulu, ʻoi aku ka hauʻoli, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kino, a ola lōʻihi ma mua o ka poʻe i pili ʻole. ” wehewehe ka mea noiʻi. I ka makahiki 2008, ua hōʻoia pū ka INSEE (National Institute of Statistics and Economic Studies) i loko o kahi hōʻike e pili ana ke ola o kahi kāne i ka maikaʻi i ke ola holoʻokoʻa. 

Kūlike ʻole, e hoʻonele wale ana i kēlā me kēia lā “Pono”. ʻAʻole ʻoi aku ka hauʻoli o ka poʻe kaʻawale, akā ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki o ko lākou olakino a me ka noʻonoʻo. Ma ka hōʻuluʻulu “Pepehi ka loneliness”. A ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, e like me ka neuroscientists, ʻo ka ʻike o ka noho kaʻawale ʻana e hoʻāla i nā wahi like o ka lolo ... eha physical¹.

E hāʻawi a e loaʻa iā ʻoe

Ua hōʻike nā mea noiʻi i ka lawe ʻana i kahi huli ka hana i kekahi hoʻonui i ka maikaʻi i nā keiki a me nā mākua, me ka nānā ʻole i ka hui kaiaulu. E hoomanao a makana ua hana lākou, no ka laʻana, hana i nā mea komo o kahi hoʻopaʻa hauʻoli. E hoʻolilo hou lākou i ke kālā ma kahi makana ma hope o kēia ʻike².

Ma kahi noiʻi ʻē aʻe, ua nānā nā mea noiʻi i ka lolo o ka poʻe hāʻawi kālā i kahi hui aloha³. Nā hopena: inā mākou e hāʻawi a loaʻa paha i ke kālā, ʻo ia ka wahi like o ka lolo ka mea e hooikaika ana! No ka ʻoi aku ka pololei, ua ʻoi aku ka ikaika o ka wahi i nīnau ʻia i ka wā i hāʻawi kālā ai nā kumuhana ma mua o ka wā i loaʻa ai. He aha ka ʻāpana o ka lolo a mākou e kamaʻilio nei? Mai ka ventral striatum, kahi ʻāpana subcortical pili me ka uku a me ka lealea i nā mea momona.

Haʻawina 2: E mālama i nā pilina maikaʻi

ʻAʻole lawa ka hoʻopuni ʻana i mea hauʻoli, pono nō hoʻi e lilo i poʻe maikaʻi. "ʻAʻole ʻo ia wale nō ka helu o nā hoaaloha i loaʻa iā ʻoe, inā paha ʻoe i loko o kahi pilina, akā ʻo ia ka maikaʻi o kāu mau pilina pili ʻo wai ka helu " hōʻuluʻulu ʻo Robert Waldinger.

Ua manaʻo ʻoe ua palekana ʻoe mai ka mehameha me kāu mau hoaaloha 500 Facebook ? ʻO kahi haʻawina 2013 e Ethan Kross a me nā hoa hana ma ke Kulanui o Michigan i manaʻo e ʻoi aku ka nui o nā kumuhana pili i ka ʻoihana pūnaewele, ʻoi aku ka nui o lākou kaumaha⁴. ʻO kahi hopena i loaʻa ai ka pilikua o Palo Alto e wehewehe ʻia ai pūnaewele "anti-social". i nā pāpaho like ʻole. Ua ʻike mākou mai ka makahiki 2015 ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Ua hoʻoholo nā mea noiʻi like ʻo ia ka passivity ma Facebook e pili ana me ke ʻano haʻahaʻa. No laila ʻaʻohe pilikia o ke kaumaha ke kamaʻilio ʻoe me kāu mau hoaaloha ma ka pūnaewele.

ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o kahi hui ʻino

Hoʻoikaika ʻo Robert Waldinger i kekahi ʻano koʻikoʻi o ka pilina, ka nele o na paio « ʻO nā male hakakā, no ka laʻana, me ke aloha ʻole, he maikaʻi loa ia no ko mākou olakino, ʻoi aku paha ka hewa ma mua o ka hemo ʻana. E noho hauʻoli a me ke olakino maikaʻi. ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o kahi hui ʻino.

No ka hōʻoia ʻana inā he ʻoiaʻiʻo ka naʻauao kaulana, ua hilinaʻi kahi hui noiʻi i kekahi o nā ʻano o ka hauʻoli⁵. Ua ʻike mākou he ʻoi aku ka mana o ka poʻe hauʻoli ma mua o ka poʻe kaumaha mālama i ka manaʻo maikaʻi. No laila kau nā mea noiʻi i nā electrode ma nā maka o nā mea manawaleʻa 116 i mea e ana ai i ka lōʻihi o kā lākou minoʻaka ma hope o nā stimulus maikaʻi. Schematically, inā hōʻike nā electrodes i kahi minoʻaka i lōʻihi loa, hiki iā mākou ke noʻonoʻo e hōʻike ana ke kumuhana i kahi kūlana ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, a me ka hope. Ua hōʻike ʻia nā hopena i ʻike ʻia nā kānaka nā hakakā pinepine i loko o ka male i hōʻike ʻia nā pane pōkole i nā manaʻo maikaʻi. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka haʻahaʻa o ko lākou kūlana maikaʻi.

Haʻawina 3: e hauʻoli i ka ʻoi aku o ka makahiki

Ua ʻike ʻo Professor Waldinger i ke kolu " haʻawina ola "Ma ka nānā pono ʻana i nā moʻolelo olakino o nā kāne i ke aʻo ʻana i hahai ʻia no 75 mau makahiki. Me kāna hui, ua nānā lākou no ka nā mea hiki ke wānana i ka ʻelemakule hauʻoli a olakino. "ʻAʻole ko lākou pae cholesterol i kēlā mau makahiki i wānana i ke ʻano o ko lākou mau makahiki" hōʻuluʻulu manaʻo i ka mea noiʻi. "ʻO ka poʻe i ʻoluʻolu loa i kā lākou pilina ma 50 ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke olakino i ka makahiki 80.

ʻAʻole wale ka pilina maikaʻi e hauʻoli ai mākou, akā loaʻa iā lākou kahi hopena pale maoli i ke olakino. Ma ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana i ka hoʻomanawanui i eha ʻo kahi laʻana "Ua hōʻike kā mākou mau kāne kāne a me nā wahine hauʻoli loa, ma kahi o 80 mau makahiki, i nā lā i nui ai ka ʻeha kino, ua mau ko lākou mau ʻano hauʻoli. Akā,ʻo ka poʻe i hauʻoliʻole i ko lākou mau pilina, i nā lā i hōʻike ai lākou i kaʻeha kino loa, uaʻoi aku kaʻino o kaʻehaʻeha. “

ʻAʻole pale wale nā ​​pilina pili i ko mākou kino, hoʻohui i ka psychiatrist "Hoʻomalu lākou i ko mākou lolo". Ma waena o ka 724 i komo i ke aʻo ʻana, ʻo ka poʻe i loko o kahi pilina hoʻokō he mémoire “ʻOi loa” Ua lōʻihi. ʻO ka ʻokoʻa "ʻO ka poʻe i pili me ka manaʻo ʻaʻole hiki ke helu i kekahi i kekahi, ʻike lākou i ka emi ʻana o ko lākou hoʻomanaʻo ma mua. ” 

Ua ʻike mākou mai ka wanaʻao mai kēlā kaʻana like ka hauʻoli. No laila, no ke aha e pilikia nui ai mākou i ka hoʻohana ʻana i kēlā me kēia lā? "ʻAe, he kanaka mākou. ʻO ka mea a mākou e makemake ai he hoʻoponopono maʻalahi, kahi mea hiki iā mākou ke loaʻa e nani ai ko mākou ola. ʻAʻole paʻakikī a paʻakikī ka pili ʻana i ka ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha. “

ʻO ka mea hope loa, ua koho ka psychiatrist e ʻōlelo i ka mea kākau Mark Twain nāna i ʻōlelo i kahi leka i kahi hoa, i ka makahiki 1886 "ʻAʻohe o mākou manawa - pōkole ke ola - no ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa, kala ʻana, ka huhū a me ka hoʻoholo ʻana i nā helu. He manawa aloha wale no kakou a he manawa wale no e hana ai. “