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E hoʻomanaʻo i ka ʻōlelo: "E haʻi mai iaʻu ʻo wai kou hoaaloha, a e haʻi aku wau iā ʻoe ʻo wai ʻoe"? Manaʻo mākou e hoʻololi iki: "E haʻi mai iaʻu ʻo wai kou hoaaloha, a e haʻi mākou iā ʻoe inā e hoʻomau ʻoe e kamaʻilio me ia." Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole wale nā hoaaloha maikaʻi ʻole he kipi, wahaheʻe a me nā manipulators. Ke haʻi aku nei mākou iā ʻoe ʻo wai e nānā pono.
Ua hana ʻo Kauka Jeffrey Hall i kahi haʻawina hoihoi e ʻike i ka nui o nā hola e lilo ai i hoa aloha no kekahi. ʻO ka hopena, ua lilo mākou i "mau hoaaloha" i nā hola 50, "mau hoaaloha maikaʻi" i nā hola 120-160, a me nā "hoaaloha maikaʻi" i 200 mau hola i hui pū ʻia.
ʻIke ʻia ʻo ka hoʻoikaika ʻana i nā pilina aloha ʻaʻole i liʻiliʻi ka manawa, pono ia i ka ikaika a me ka hoʻopukapuka naʻau. Akā ʻoi aku ka nui o kēia mau "hoʻopukapuka" ma mua o ka uku: i ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana, loaʻa iā mākou kahi manaʻo pili, hōʻoluʻolu, hauʻoli o ka ʻike ʻana i kekahi.
Akā, ma mua o kou "hoʻokomo kālā" i ka pilina me kekahi kanaka, pono ʻoe e hōʻoia pono ʻo ia. Aia kekahi poʻe ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻopau i kou manawa a me kou ikaika - ʻaʻole no ka "ʻino" iā lākou iho, akā no ka mea ʻaʻole e hāʻawi ka pilina me lākou i nā manaʻo maikaʻi.
1. "Pono" mau
Pono kēlā kanaka i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, pono ka hui, akā i ka manawa like ʻo ia e kamaʻilio nui e pili ana iā ia iho, e pili ana i kāna mau pilikia a me kāna mau pono. Ke hana mau nei kekahi mea iā ia, a he hana keaka mau kona ola. A, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ke minamina nei mākou i ka poʻe pōʻino ma ko mākou ʻano ponoʻī, akā ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī iā mākou: i loko o ia pilina ʻaʻohe mea e loaʻa iā mākou i ka hoʻihoʻi - ʻaʻohe mahana, ʻaʻohe nānā, ʻaʻohe komo. ʻO ke kamaʻilio pū ʻana me ia he luhi a me ka pōʻino.
2. ʻO ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma hope o ko lākou kua
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻoia inā he paio ma waena o ʻoe, ʻaʻole e loaʻa i kēia kanaka ka wiwo ʻole a me ke oʻo e kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe he alo a he alo. ʻAʻole, e ʻōlelo hōʻino ʻo ia iā ʻoe ma hope o kou kua.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, kūkākūkā kākou a pau, nā kānaka, ʻaʻohe mea e pakele ai. ʻO ka nīnau pehea mākou e hana ai, me ka leka, ka manaʻo, nā ʻōlelo a mākou e koho ai. Inā e huli mākou i nā ʻōlelo aʻo, hoʻokahi mea kēia, akā inā holo wale mākou e "hoʻoheheʻe" a ʻōlelo hoʻomākeʻaka, he mea ʻē aʻe.
3. Pili pono iā ia iho
Ua like loa lākou me ka "ʻilihune mau loa", no ka mea, kamaʻilio wale lākou no lākou iho. ʻOiaʻiʻo,ʻaʻole i kaupalenaʻia ka "hoʻopiʻi" i nā hoʻopiʻi - kamaʻilioʻo ia e pili ana i kāna mau nūhou a me nā lole hou, e pili ana i kona helehelena a me kona ola, e pili ana i kāna hana a me kāna mau makemake. Manaʻo mākou he "pāʻani hoʻokahi ʻaoʻao", kahi ʻaʻohe wahi no ke kamaʻilio ʻana a me kāu mau makemake, e hōʻoluʻolu koke ʻoe.
4. Ke kāohi ʻana
Ua maʻa kēlā kanaka i ke kauoha, maʻa i nā mea a pau e like me kāna ʻōlelo. A ʻaʻole ʻo ia i mākaukau e lohe i nā mea kūʻē. He conservative ʻo ia, ʻaʻole makemake e hoʻololi a maʻalahi. Aka, ua papa mai ke Akua ia oe e hai aku ia lakou no ia mea - "ua hana mau, hana a hana no" oia, aohe mea nana e ao aku ia ia!
Narrowness o ka noʻonoʻo e pale aku i ka "hoʻokele" mai ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi pilina ākea a hauʻoli. He aha ka mea - i kekahi manawa he mea leʻaleʻa ke kamaʻilio me ia kanaka.
5. He kuleana ʻole loa
E ʻoiaʻiʻo: ua lohi nā hoa āpau i kekahi manawa, a i nā hihia koʻikoʻi, hoʻopau kekahi o lākou i kā mākou hoʻolālā. A ʻike naʻe mākou hiki ke hilinaʻi ʻia ka hapa nui o lākou.
ʻO ke kuleana ʻole he mea ʻē aʻe. Ke lohi mau nei kēlā kanaka no 30-40 mau minuke, a i ʻole hoʻokahi hola. Hoʻopau mau i nā koho. Hoʻohiki e kelepona hou a ʻaʻole. Poina ʻo ia e pili ana i nā lā koʻikoʻi, a i kēia manawa ua hāʻule ʻo ia - ma kahi huaʻōlelo, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kūkulu i nā pilina maʻamau me kēlā hoa.
6. Hoohewa loa
Eia hou, kūkākūkā mākou a pau, hoʻoponopono, a hoʻohewa i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i hoʻokahi manawa i kekahi manawa. Akā aia kekahi poʻe e hoʻohewa koʻikoʻi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, no ka mea "ʻaʻole like lākou" - ʻokoʻa kā lākou ʻano ma mua o kā mākou mau hoaaloha. He "wikiwiki e pepehi" a hāʻawi i kahi hoʻoholo hoʻomāinoino me ka loaʻa ʻole o ka manawa e kamaʻilio pono me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai ʻaʻole lākou e ʻimi e ʻike maikaʻi i ka interlocutor, kona mōʻaukala a me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana.
Me kēlā kanaka, ʻaʻole hiki ke manaʻo i ka maluhia o ka naʻau, no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ka wā e paʻi ai ka nalu o kāna hoʻohewa ʻana iā ʻoe.
7. Moloā loa
ʻO ka palaualelo, ʻaʻole ia he hoaaloha maikaʻi ʻole, akā hiki pinepine ia. Inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hana i kekahi mea ma nā wahi ʻē aʻe a hoʻopaneʻe mau, aia i hea ka hōʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hana like iā ʻoe a me kou hoaaloha? Me he mea lā iā ʻoe wale nō ke hoʻāʻo nei e kauo i ka «kaʻa» o kāu pilina ma kahi.
Ua ʻike nā kānaka a pau i ka waiwai o nā hoaaloha ʻoiaʻiʻo, akā ʻaʻole i emi iki ko mākou manawa. E hoʻohana me ka naʻauao a mai hoʻopau wale i ka poʻe i kūpono ʻole i kāu hoaaloha.