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ʻO nā keiki e hōʻike ana i ka huhū, aʻa a hana i nā mea a pau me ke kū'ē, ua kapaʻia he paʻakikī. Hoʻopaʻi ʻia lākou, hoʻonaʻauao ʻia a lawe ʻia paha i nā psychologists, akā ʻo ke kumu ke kau pinepine ʻia i ke kūlana hopohopo a kaumaha paha o nā mākua, wahi a Whitney R. Cummings, he loea i nā pilikia pili keiki.
ʻO nā keiki ʻaʻole mālama maikaʻi i kā lākou ʻano, hiki i ka huhū a ʻike ʻole i ka mana o nā pākeke, hana i nā pilikia he nui no ko lākou mau mākua, kumu a me nā mea āpau a puni lākou. Hoʻolaha ʻo Whitney Cummings i ka hoʻololi ʻana i ke ʻano, ka trauma kamaliʻi a me ka mālama hānai. Ua aʻo kēia haʻawina iā ia e pane mālie i nā hana a nā poʻe ʻē aʻe (me nā keiki) a ʻaʻole e nalowale ka hoʻomalu iā ia iho.
Eia kekahi, ua ʻike ʻo ia i ka pono o ka mālama ʻana iā ia iho i mea e hoʻokō ai i nā kuleana makua. Hōʻike mau ʻia ko mākou mau manaʻo paʻa i ka pilina me nā keiki. ʻO ka mea mua, pili kēia i nā kumu a me nā mākua (ʻohana a hāpai ʻia) o nā keiki "paʻakikī", nona ka manaʻo kiʻekiʻe e pono ai kahi ala kūikawā. Wahi a ka loea, ua hoʻomaopopo ʻo ia i kēia ma kāna ʻike ponoʻī.
No ke kamaʻilio puʻuwai pono ʻoe i ka ikaika
ʻO Whitney R. Cummings, Kauka Lapaʻau no ke keiki, mea kākau, pahu ma ke kihi
I kekahi mau pule i hala aku nei, ua nui na poino i hiki mai ia'u a hiki ole ia'u ke haawi pono aku i ka'u kaikamahine hookama. Ua ʻoi aku ka nāwaliwali o ia ma mua o kā mākou mau keiki ponoʻī ʻelua, akā ua hana mākou i nā mea āpau i hiki ʻole iā ia ke ʻike i ka ʻokoʻa. ʻAʻole mākou i makemake e ʻike ʻo ia e ʻoi aku ka ikaika, ka hoʻomanawanui, ke aloha a me ka ikaika o ka naʻau. I ka nui o nā hihia, ua lanakila mākou.
ʻAʻole ʻo ia i manaʻo e ala mākou i ka pō, e kūkākūkā ana i kāna ʻano a me ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ka hoʻolālā o kā mākou hana no ka lā ʻapōpō. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i ko mākou pani ʻana i ka lumi kuke e hoʻomaha ai i ko mākou hanu. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i ka ʻeha o kona ʻeha i hala i loko o ko mākou puʻuwai, ʻoiai ke ʻike mākou iā ia e hoʻihoʻi hou ana iā ia i loko o ka moeʻuhane a me ka huhū koke. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i ʻike i kekahi mea, e like me kā mākou makemake.
ʻO ia kā mākou keiki. A ʻo ia wale nō kāna e ʻike ai. Akā, ua hoʻonele ʻia nā pilikia he nui iaʻu i ka manaʻo maikaʻi, a ua ʻike ʻo ia i ka paʻakikī o ka hāʻawi ʻia ʻana iaʻu i ke kuleana o ka makuahine maikaʻi. Ua maopopo iā ia he ʻokoʻa ka mālama ʻana iā ia mai nā keiki ʻelua ʻē aʻe. No ʻekolu pule i loaʻa iaʻu kahi ʻano ʻole o loko i hiki ʻole iaʻu ke hoʻomanawanui, ikaika a hoʻomaopopo.
Inā ma mua wau e kūlou i lalo e nānā i kona mau maka, a kamaʻilio me ka leo aloha, e ho'āʻo ana e noʻonoʻo i ka mea i hana ʻia, i kēia manawa ua haʻalele wau me nā ʻōlelo pōkole a ʻaneʻane ʻaʻohe mea. ʻAʻohe aʻu mea e hāʻawi aku iā ia, a ʻike ʻo ia. ʻAʻole ia i kēia manawa ua ʻoi aku ka manaʻo o nā keiki kamaʻāina. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke hāʻawi i kekahi mea i kekahi o lākou. ʻAʻole i loaʻa iaʻu ka ikaika e pane i kahi kikokikona a i ʻole kelepona.
Pehea e pule ai, hiki iaʻu ke kamaʻilio puʻuwai e pili ana i kahi keikikāne āna i makemake ai i ka hola ʻeono o ke kakahiaka, inā ʻaʻole au i hiamoe ma mua o ʻumi hola i ka pule a pau?
ʻAʻole i huhū nui kaʻu mau keiki i koʻu hiki ʻole. ʻAʻole pono lākou i ka mālama ʻana i kēlā me kēia lā. Hele lākou i ke kula i ke kakahiaka a ʻaʻole hopohopo ʻo ia ma kahi o ka ʻaina awakea maʻamau ua hānai ʻia lākou i nā nugget moa a me nā mea ʻono, ʻo ia ka manawa e moe ai, a aia kahi puʻu olonā ma luna o ko lākou mau moena. Ua huhū lākou i koʻu uē ʻana i ka lā a pau, akā ʻaʻole lākou i huhū mai iaʻu. ʻAʻole lākou i pane aku i ka nele o ka nānā ʻana o nā mākua me nā hana ʻakaʻaka.
Me ke kaikamahine hānai, ʻokoʻa nā mea a pau. Ua huhū ʻo ia i koʻu waimaka mau. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻole o ka ʻai piha i kēlā lā i ka lālani i hoʻonāwaliwali iā ia. Ua huhū ʻo ia no ka laha ʻana o nā mea ma ka hale. Pono ʻo ia i ke kūpaʻa, ke kaulike, ka mālama, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hāʻawi. Ua hiki iaʻu ke hoʻokō kokoke i nā manaʻo o ke kaikamahine.
Inā kaumaha mākou i nā ʻike paʻakikī, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke mālama pono i kahi keiki paʻakikī.
Ua hoʻopiha ʻia kāna lako o ke aloha i kaʻu mau hoʻoikaika ʻana, a i kēia manawa ua aneane pau. ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke noho i lalo a loaʻa ka puʻuwai i ka puʻuwai e kamaʻilio pū me ia a i ʻole e lawe iā ia i waho no ka hau ʻaila. ʻAʻole wau makemake e ʻapo a paʻa iā ia, ʻaʻole wau makemake e heluhelu puke i ka pō. Ua maopopo iaʻu ka nui o kona hala ʻana i kēia, akā ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke kōkua iaʻu iho.
ʻO ia hoʻi, manaʻo ʻino ʻo ia no koʻu manaʻo ʻino. Ua ʻike au ʻaʻole e mau loa koʻu ʻehaʻeha, a hiki koke iaʻu ke mālama iā ia e like me ka wā ma mua. Ua hoʻi mālie koʻu mau manaʻo (a me koʻu ʻano) i ke ʻano maʻamau, akā ʻo ke kaʻina hana i kapa ʻia e ka poʻe psychologists ʻo ka "learning curve" pono ke komo like. Ma ke kumumanaʻo, pono wau e ʻeha, me ka ʻike ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hoʻokau i koʻu mau wahi ʻeha, a pono ʻo ia e hoʻomanawanui, me ka ʻike ʻaʻole wau e haʻalele iā ia. He paʻakikī loa.
Inā wau e hopu i kēia manaʻo a ʻae aku he ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻia, e nalowale koke wau i ke kūlana o ka makuahine hānai. He mea nui ke ola kino ma na ano a pau e kau i na pono o ke keiki mamua o kou makemake, aka, aneane hiki ole keia ke hiki ole ia oe ke nana aku i kou pono iho. Eia naʻe, ʻaʻole ka manaʻo ponoʻī, akā he mea koʻikoʻi.
ʻO ka mua o kā mākou mau pono, a laila nā pono, nā makemake a me nā makemake o kā mākou mau keiki. Inā ʻike mākou iā mākou iho i ke ʻano ola olakino, lawa wale ka ikaika e noʻonoʻo ai iā mākou iho i ka lā āpau. Pono mākou e ʻae i kēia a noʻonoʻo i ko mākou mau pilikia ponoʻī: ma kēia ala wale nō e hiki ai iā mākou ke hana i ka hana aʻe.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻokoʻa loa koʻu kūlana mai nā mea a nā mākua paʻa ʻole o ka naʻau e hana ai. Akā, ua like nā loina. Inā kaumaha mākou i ka haʻahaʻa o nā ʻike paʻakikī, inā ʻaʻole i hoʻokō ʻia nā psychological clamps e noho i nā manaʻo āpau a ʻaʻole e ʻae iā mākou e hoʻomalu i nā manaʻo, ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke mālama maʻamau i kahi keiki paʻakikī. Pono kāna hana maikaʻi ʻole i kahi pane olakino ma kā mākou ʻaoʻao.