Contents
- Hiki i nā keiki o nā mākua kaʻawale ke ʻike mau, a i ʻole noho pū me, i ka hoa hou o ko lākou makuahine. ʻAʻole ia he mea kupanaha i ka hiki ʻana mai o ka lā Makua, hōʻike lākou i ka makemake e hāʻawi pū aku iā ia i makana. Pehea e pane aku ai a pono maoli ia? 'Ōlelo aʻo mai Marie-Laure Vallejo, keiki psychiatrist.
- Nā Mākua: I kekahi manawa na ka makuahine e noi i kāna keiki e hāʻawi makana i kāna hoa ...
- He aha kou manaʻo no ka hoʻohālikelike: he makana nui no ka makua kāne a me kahi hōʻailona hōʻailona liʻiliʻi no ka makua step-parent?
- I ka manawa like, hiki i ka makua hoʻopaʻa i ke keiki ke manaʻo ʻino inā ʻaʻole mālama ʻia iā ia i kēlā lā?
- ʻAʻole hōʻoluʻolu paha ka makua hoʻokele i ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi makana mai ke keiki a kāna hoa. Pehea ʻo ia e hana ai?
- Hiki paha i ka makua kāne ke noʻonoʻo liʻiliʻi he makana ko ka makua hoʻokama i ka manawa like me ia. He aha kāu ʻōlelo aʻo iā lākou?
Hiki i nā keiki o nā mākua kaʻawale ke ʻike mau, a i ʻole noho pū me, i ka hoa hou o ko lākou makuahine. ʻAʻole ia he mea kupanaha i ka hiki ʻana mai o ka lā Makua, hōʻike lākou i ka makemake e hāʻawi pū aku iā ia i makana. Pehea e pane aku ai a pono maoli ia? 'Ōlelo aʻo mai Marie-Laure Vallejo, keiki psychiatrist.
Ma nā loina kaiapili e laha nei, he hōʻailona ka lā makuahine a me ka lā makua. No nā mākua maoli lākou. No laila, i ka wā e hana ai ka makuahōnōwai kāne i kahi hana makua, ke hele ʻole ka makua kāne, he mea maʻamau i ke keiki ke hāʻawi makana iā ia. Eia nō naʻe, i nā hihia ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai inā pili ka makua hoʻokele i ke ola o ke keiki, pono e mālama i kēia lā no ka makua kāne.
Nā Mākua: I kekahi manawa na ka makuahine e noi i kāna keiki e hāʻawi makana i kāna hoa ...
M.-LV : "He mea lawa ʻole a kānalua ke noi aku i ke keiki e hāʻawi i kekahi mea i kona makuakāne. Eia ka oi aku o ka makuahine i haawi aku i kona hoa i wahi aole nona. Pono kēia makemake mai ke keiki wale nō. A e ʻike ʻia ʻo ia inā maikaʻi ka hope me kona makuakāne. “
He aha kou manaʻo no ka hoʻohālikelike: he makana nui no ka makua kāne a me kahi hōʻailona hōʻailona liʻiliʻi no ka makua step-parent?
M.-LV “ʻAʻole au i ʻike i ke kumu. Manaʻo paha ka makua kāne i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa me ka hoa o kāna hoa aloha. Hiki i ke keiki ke hāʻawi makana i ka makua hānai i nā lā 364 i koe o ka makahiki inā makemake ʻo ia, akā mālama i kēia mau lā kūikawā no kona makuakāne a me kona makuahine. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka makua ma waho o ke ola o ke keiki, ʻoi aku ka nui o kona ʻano a i ʻole kona manaʻo, ʻoi aku ka nui o kona maʻalahi i nā code social. “
I ka manawa like, hiki i ka makua hoʻopaʻa i ke keiki ke manaʻo ʻino inā ʻaʻole mālama ʻia iā ia i kēlā lā?
M.-LV: "Ma ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka nui o ka hana ʻana o ka makua kāne i kona ola, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kona hoʻomaopopo ʻana he pono ke waiho i kēia lā pololei i ka makua i ʻole e uhi iā ia a ʻeha paha iā ia. ʻO ka makua kāne hoʻi he makua kāne ia. No laila e loaʻa iā ia nā makana mai kāna mau keiki ponoʻī. ʻO ka hope, pili ia i nā pilina o nā mākua. Inā pili maikaʻi ka makuahōnōwai kāne a me ka makua kāne, e ʻae maikaʻi ka hope i ka hele ʻana o kāna keiki. “
ʻAʻole hōʻoluʻolu paha ka makua hoʻokele i ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi makana mai ke keiki a kāna hoa. Pehea ʻo ia e hana ai?
M.-LV: “Maikaʻi mau ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi makana mai kahi keiki, a maopopo pono ʻoe e ʻae a mahalo iā ia. Eia naʻe, he mea nui e wehewehe i kāu hūnōna kāne a i ʻole hūnōna wahine, "ʻAʻole wau ʻo kou makuakāne". ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e lawe i kahi o kekahi. ʻOi aku ka nui inā he lā hōʻailona ia, ʻike ʻia e nā code social. “
Hiki paha i ka makua kāne ke noʻonoʻo liʻiliʻi he makana ko ka makua hoʻokama i ka manawa like me ia. He aha kāu ʻōlelo aʻo iā lākou?
M.-LV: “Hoʻokahi wale nō makua kāne a me hoʻokahi makuahine, ʻike ke keiki, no laila, mai hopohopo. Akā hiki iā ia ke hoʻomaha i ka makua. Hāʻawi kēia kūlana i nā kuleana a me nā kuleana. No laila, ʻo ia ʻano kūlana ke alakaʻi iā lākou e noʻonoʻo inā lawa kā lākou hoʻopukapuka kālā i ke ola o kā lākou mau keiki ... ʻO kēlā me kēia hihia, he mea nui ʻaʻole e hoʻokūkū, e hoʻohālikelike a hoʻomanaʻo ʻo ka mea nui ka maikaʻi o ke keiki. . “