Hoʻomaopopo mai ka hapalua huaʻōlelo. E hoʻomaʻemaʻe i nā kihi ʻoi. Hoʻomanawanui. No kaʻikeʻana i nā pilikia i loko o ka pilina i ka manawa a ho'āʻo e hoʻoholo i nā mea a pau me ka hoʻokomoʻole i kahi hoa. Nui nā mea a mākou e hana ai nā wahine - no ka mea ua "hana ʻia" mākou no kēia. ʻO ka hopena, pilikia pinepine nā mea a pau:ʻo mākou iho, ko mākou hoa, nā pilina. No ke aha kēia hana?
Hoʻomanaʻo lākou i ka lā hānau o nā ʻohana āpau, me nā ʻohana mamao. Uaʻike lākou ma ka inoaʻaʻole wale nā hoaaloha a pau o nā keiki, akā,ʻo ko lākou mau mākua hoʻi. Na lākou ke kuleana no nā pilina pili o ka ʻohana - mai poina i nā hoaaloha kahiko, kono iā lākou e kipa, e nānā i nā kuʻuna o ka launa pū ʻana. Hoʻomaka lākou i nā kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā pilikia pili a hoʻohuli i ka hoa e hele i kahi psychologist ʻohana.
Hoʻopaʻa lākou i ke ola holoʻokoʻa o ka ʻohana - kiʻi lākou i nā kiʻi o ka hoa a me nā keiki, a ʻo lākou iho ʻaneʻane e haʻalele iā lākou. Hana lākou ma ke ʻano he lapaʻau ʻohana, luna o ka hale, mea ʻuwao, mea hōʻoluʻolu, alakaʻi ʻoliʻoli, a me kahi puke puke palena ʻole kahi e hiki ai i nā ʻohana āpau ke ninini i ka ʻike i loaʻa ʻole iā lākou ka manawa e hoʻomanaʻo ai.
E like me kāu i manaʻo ai, ʻo ka pohihihi "ʻo lākou", ʻoiaʻiʻo, nā wahine, a ʻo kēlā me kēia mau hana he hana ʻike ʻole ʻia e kau nei ma luna o ko lākou poʻohiwi. He hana paʻakikī ke wehewehe maopopo. ʻO ka hana, mahalo i ka holo pono ʻana o nā mīkini kaiapili holoʻokoʻa - mai kēlā me kēia ʻohana a hiki i ke kaiāulu holoʻokoʻa.
He aha ka mea i komo i loko o kēia hana? ʻO ka hana ʻana a me ka mālama ʻana i ka "hōʻoluʻolu" a me ka "weather in the house", ka lokomaikaʻi mau ʻoiai i nā kūlana hakakā nui loa, ka mālama a me ke kākoʻo, ka makemake e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i nā kihi a me ka ʻae ʻana, ka makemake e lawelawe i nā pono o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a kuleana no ko lākou mau manaʻo. maʻamau, ʻo ka mea maʻamau e manaʻo ai ka lehulehu mai nā wahine.
Hānau ʻia e mālama?
Manaʻo mākou ua hana ʻia nā wahine e kōkua, kākoʻo a mālama. Ua aʻo mākou he ʻoi aku ka noʻonoʻo o nā wahine a no laila ʻoi aku ka hiki ke hoʻomaopopo i "kēlā mau manaʻo o kāu" a makemake e kamaʻilio e pili ana iā lākou. A pinepine lākou e kamaʻilio nui e pili ana iā lākou - "lawe i ka lolo." Manaʻo mākou ʻo nā wahine ka mea hoihoi i ka pilina, ko lākou ulu ʻana a me ko lākou wā e hiki mai ana, ʻoiai ʻaʻole pono nā kāne a makemake ʻole.
Lawe mākou i ka manaʻo i hānau ʻia nā wahine me nā hana he nui a hiki iā lākou ke mālama i nā papa inoa hana lōʻihi ma ko lākou mau poʻo, ʻo kā lākou ponoʻī a me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai hiki i nā kāne ke hana hoʻokahi a nānā i nā mea nui loa.
Eia nō naʻe, inā e ʻeli ʻoe i kahi hohonu hohonu, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ka mālama ʻole ʻana a me ke ʻano o ka pōpoki Leopold ʻaʻole ia he mau ʻano kūlohelohe maoli i loko o ka wahine wahine wale nō, akā he pūʻulu o nā mākau i loaʻa ma o ke kaʻina o ka hoʻopili kāne kāne. Aʻo nā kaikamāhine mai ka wā kamaliʻi i ke kuleana no nā manaʻo a me nā ʻano o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
ʻOiai e pāʻani ana nā keikikāne i nā pāʻani ikaika a ikaika, pinepine me kahi ʻāpana o ka huhū a me ka hoʻokūkū, paipai ʻia nā kaikamahine e komo i nā hana e hoʻomohala ai i ka manaʻo, mālama a me ka hui pū ʻana.
Eia kekahi laʻana, "nā kaikamahine-makuahine" a me nā pāʻani pāʻani. Hoʻomaikaʻi ʻia nā kaikamahine no ka hana ʻana i nā mea hoʻokipa, mālama i nā kaikuaʻana a me nā kaikamahine, aʻo nā keikikāne e paipai ʻia no nā hoʻokō ʻokoʻa loa.
Ma hope mai, ua aʻo ʻia nā kaikamahine i ke kuleana no nā manaʻo o nā keikikāne a mālama i ko lākou kūlana naʻau - e hoʻomaopopo i ka huki ʻia ʻana o nā pigtails mai ke aloha, e kōkua i kahi hoa noho ma kahi pākaukau, ʻaʻole e hoʻonāukiuki i ka huhū a i ʻole ke kuko me kā lākou ʻano. ʻike i kahi e noho mālie ai, a me kahi e hoʻomaikaʻi ai a paipai, ma ke ʻano - e lilo i kaikamahine maikaʻi.
Ma ke ala, ua wehewehe ʻia nā wahine ʻōpio ʻo ke ʻano o ka waha a me ke ʻano o nā manaʻo he wahi wahine maʻemaʻe, ʻaʻole hoihoi i nā kāne. ʻO ke kanaka stereotypical he taciturn, ʻaʻole maopopo i ka intricacies o nā ʻike naʻau, ʻaʻole uē, ʻaʻole hōʻike i nā manaʻo, ʻaʻole ʻike i ka mālama ʻana a, ma ke ʻano nui, ʻaʻole ia he ʻano o ka "nāwaliwali palupalu."
Ke hoʻomau nei nā kaikamahine a me nā keikikāne i ke ola e like me ke ʻano like: mālama ʻo ia iā ia, nā keiki, nā hoaaloha, nā ʻohana a me ka nohona pili o ka ʻohana, a mālama ʻo ia iā ia iho a hoʻopukapuka wale i kona ola. ʻO ka hana manaʻo o nā wāhine ke komo a "lubricates" i nā wahi a pau o ke ola, e hōʻoluʻolu a leʻaleʻa i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. A he miliona maka o keia hana.
He aha ka hana manaʻo?
E hoʻomaka kākou me kahi laʻana maʻalahi akā haʻi loa. In Relationships: The Work Women Do (1978), ua kālailai ʻo Pamela Fishman i nā hoʻopaʻa leo o nā kamaʻilio ʻana i kēlā me kēia lā ma waena o nā kāne a me nā wahine a loaʻa i kekahi mau hopena hoihoi.
Ua hoʻololiʻia nā wāhine i lawe i ke kuleana nui no ka mālamaʻana i ke kūkākūkāʻana: ua nīnau lākou ma kahi oʻeono manawaʻoi aʻe o nā nīnau ma mua o nā kāne, "hooted" ma nā wahi kūpono, a ma nāʻano'ē aʻe i hōʻike i ko lākou hoihoi.
ʻO nā kāne, ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, aneane ʻaʻole hoihoi i ka holo ʻana o ke kamaʻilio ʻana, a ʻaʻole ʻimi e kākoʻo inā nāwaliwali ka manaʻo o ka mea kamaʻilio a i ʻole ke kumuhana.
E noʻonoʻo, ua ʻike mākou a pau i kēia i ko mākou ola i kēlā me kēia lā. Noho i nā lā, e nīnau ana i kēlā me kēia nīnau a me ke kunou ʻana i kahi kamaʻāina hou, mahalo nui iā ia a makemake e ʻike hou aku, ʻaʻole i loaʻa ka nānā like ʻana. Huli lākou i kahi kumuhana e kamaʻilio pū me kahi kamaʻilio hou a manaʻo lākou i ke kuleana inā hoʻomaka ke kamaʻilio e mae.
Ua kākau lākou i nā leka lōʻihi me nā ʻōlelo, nā nīnau, a me nā wehewehe kikoʻī o ko lākou mau manaʻo, a ma ka pane ʻana ua loaʻa iā lākou kahi "ok" pōkole a ʻaʻole loa ("ʻAʻole wau i ʻike i ka mea e pane aku ai iā ʻoe"). Nīnau ʻo kēlā me kēia lā i ka hoa pili i ka hele ʻana o kona lā, a hoʻolohe i nā moʻolelo lōʻihi, ʻaʻole loaʻa i kahi nīnau kūʻē i ka pane.
Akā ʻo ka hana noʻonoʻo ʻaʻole wale ka hiki ke mālama i kahi kamaʻilio, akā ʻo ke kuleana hoʻi no kāna hoʻomaka. ʻO nā wahine ka mea i hoʻomaka pinepine i nā kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā pilikia pili, ko lākou wā e hiki mai ana, a me nā pilikia paʻakikī ʻē aʻe.
ʻO ka pinepine o ia mau hoʻāʻo e wehewehe i ke kūlana he mea ʻole - ua hāʻawi ʻia ka wahine i ka "lawe lolo" a nānā ʻole ʻia, a i ʻole ʻo ia iho e hōʻoluʻolu i ke kāne.
Ua like paha mākou a pau i ke ʻano like: ke hoʻāʻo nei mākou e haʻi mālie i ka hoa pili i ka ʻeha a ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu paha kāna hana, akā ma hope o kekahi mau minuke ʻike mākou e alakaʻi ana mākou i kahi monologue hōʻoluʻolu - "ʻaʻole maikaʻi, poina, ua maikaʻi nā mea a pau.
Akā ʻo ka hana naʻau he nui nā incarnations ma waho o ke aupuni o nā kamaʻilio paʻakikī. ʻO ka hana noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka hoʻopunipuni ʻana i kahi orgasm i mea e manaʻo ai ke kāne he mea aloha maikaʻi. ʻO kēia ka moekolohe ke makemake ʻoe i ka hoa i ʻole e hoʻohaʻahaʻa kona ʻano. ʻO kēia ka hoʻolālā o ka home a me ka nohona pili o ka ʻohana - nā hālāwai, nā kūʻai, nā hoʻomaha, nā pāʻina keiki.
ʻO kēia ka mea e maʻalahi ai ke ola no ka hoa ma ka mokulele home. ʻO kēia nā hōʻailona o ke aloha a me ka mālama ʻana me ka ʻole o ka noi mua a ka hoa. ʻO kēia kaʻikeʻana i ka pono o nā manaʻo o ka hoa, ka mahalo i kāna mau makemake a me kāna mau noi. He hōʻike kēia o ka mahalo i ka hoa no kāna hana. Hiki ke hoʻomau mau ʻia ka papa inoa.
A pehea mai keia?
ʻAe, hana nā wāhine i ka hana naʻau a ʻaʻole nā kāne. He aha ka pilikia ma ʻaneʻi? ʻO ka pilikia ʻo ia ke lawe ʻia kekahi o nā hoa hana i ka ukana pālua, hiki iā ia ke haki ma lalo o kēia ukana. Hana nā wāhine no ʻelua a uku no ko lākou olakino, ma ke kino a me ka noʻonoʻo.
ʻO ke ahi, ke kaumaha, ka hopohopo, a me ka maʻi i hoʻoulu ʻia i ke kaumaha ka mea i uku ʻia i nā wahine no kā lākou hana paʻakikī.
ʻIke ʻia ʻo ka noʻonoʻo mau ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ka hoʻolālā ʻana, ka mālama ʻana, ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana, ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana, ka hana ʻana i nā papa inoa, ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i nā makemake o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ka mālama ʻana i nā manaʻo o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a me ka hoʻololi ʻana he mea pōʻino a weliweli.
Eia naʻe, ʻaʻole i emi iki nā helu helu no nā kāne. Wahi a ka Swedish Bureau of Statistics, ʻoi aku ka ʻino o nā kāne ma hope o ka hemo ʻana - ʻoi aku ka mehameha, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o ka pilina me nā keiki, ka liʻiliʻi o nā hoaaloha, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka launa pū ʻana me nā ʻohana, ka lōʻihi o ke ola ʻana, a ʻoi aku ka kiʻekiʻe o ke ola kino. mamua o na wahine.
ʻIke ʻia ʻo ka hiki ʻole ke hana i ka hana noʻonoʻo, mālama i ka pilina, ola i nā manaʻo a mālama i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ʻaʻole i emi iki ka pōʻino a me ka pōʻino ma mua o ka lawelawe ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i kou ola a pau.
A ke hōʻike nei kēia ʻaʻole hana hou ke kumu hoʻohālike o ke kūkulu ʻana i nā pilina a me ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana i ke kuleana i loko o lākou. ʻO ka manawa kēia no ka hoʻololi, ʻaʻole ʻoe e manaʻo?