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Nui loa ka mana o kēia ʻano psychological. ʻIke mākou a pau pehea e «kau i nā lepili». Hāʻawi nā kumu i nā haumāna i ka "diagnosis" o ka mea hoʻoweliweli mau loa a i ʻole ka mea maikaʻi loa o ka papa. Hoʻokahi manawa mākou e uku aku i kahi hoa hana me ka stigma o kahi limahana kūleʻa a i ʻole ka hāʻule ʻole. No ke aha mākou e noʻonoʻo ai ma ka manaʻo mua a maʻamau? Hiki paha ke "haki" i nā manaʻo e pili ana iā mākou a me nā mea ʻē aʻe?
Inā maikaʻi ka manaʻo mua o ke kanaka, e pili ana i nā kūlana, a laila e hoʻonui ka hōʻailona hoʻohui i kāna mau hiʻohiʻona a me kāna mau hana. Ua kala nui ʻia ʻo ia. Inā, ma ka mea ʻē aʻe, ua pōʻino ka manaʻo mua, a laila, no ka maikaʻi o ka hana a ke kanaka i ka wā e hiki mai ana, loiloi ʻia ʻo ia ma o ka prism o ka loiloi mua.
No ka poʻe Lūkini, hiki ke wehewehe ʻia kēia hopena me ke kōkua o ka ʻōlelo ʻōlelo "hui lākou e like me ko lākou lole, ʻike iā lākou e like me ko lākou manaʻo". ʻO ka ʻokoʻa wale nō ma muli o ka mana o ka hopena halo, maʻamau lākou e "ʻike" i nā mea āpau i nā lole like. A i ʻike ʻia ka noʻonoʻo ma hope, pono e hoʻoikaika nui ka mea lawe halo.
ʻAʻole i lanakila pinepine ka manaʻoʻiʻo. ʻIke ʻia kēia i nā hui o nā keiki a me nā ʻōpio. No ka laʻana, inā ʻaʻole hele maikaʻi ka mea hou i ka papa a ua kapa koke ʻia ʻo ia he unflattering e nā hoa papa, pinepine ka hoʻonā wale nō ke hoʻololi i nā papa, kahi hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaka hou a hoʻāʻo hou e hana i kahi manaʻo mua.
He aha kēia hanana?
I ka makahiki 1920, ua ʻike ʻo Edward Thorndike psychologist ʻAmelika i ka wā e loiloi ai mākou i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, alakaʻi ʻia mākou e ka ʻike o kekahi mau ʻano pilikino - e like me ke ʻano, ka hauʻoli, ka kamaʻilio - a uhi lākou i nā mea āpau. Ua kapa ka psychologist i kēia hanana ka hopena halo a i ʻole ka hopena halo.
Hōʻike ka hopena halo i kahi hewa ʻike ʻole: nā ʻano pilikino o ke kanaka - ka nani, ka haʻahaʻa o waho, nā hoʻokō maikaʻi ʻole - e hoʻomalu i nā ʻano ʻē aʻe i ʻike ʻole ʻia e mākou, a mākou e noʻonoʻo ai, hoʻopau i ke kaha kiʻi ma ko mākou mau poʻo. ʻO ka manaʻo mua e uhi i nā mea a pau, e hana ana i kahi halo. Ma ka hoʻonaʻauao kaiapili, ua kapa ʻia ka hopena he cognitive distortions.
No ka laʻana, e noʻonoʻo ʻoe ua hoʻolauna ʻia ʻoe i kahi kanaka me ke ʻano kupaianaha maikaʻi loa - a i loko o kekahi mau minuke e hana ʻoe i loko o kou poʻo i ke kiʻi o kahi kamaʻilio maikaʻi, hoʻonaʻauao, ʻōlelo a me ka hoʻohiwahiwa.
I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, ʻo kahi hiʻohiʻona hoʻokahi e hiki ai iā mākou ke hoʻohālikelike i nā ʻano ʻike ʻole.
Manaʻo pinepine ʻia ke kanaka momona he palaualelo, nāwaliwali, palaka, a naʻaupō paha. Manaʻo ʻia nā haumāna me nā aniani e nā kumu he ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka heluhelu a ʻoi aku ka naʻauao.
A, ʻoiaʻiʻo, hāʻule nā hōkū Hollywood ma lalo o ka mana o ka hopena halo. No ka mea ua pili ka nui o nā mea keaka me nā kiʻi a lākou e pāʻani nei, a ʻike mākou iā lākou ma nā hōʻike a ma ka TV ma ke ʻano he divas nani, ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei mākou ua like lākou i ke ola maoli.
ʻAe, ʻo ka hihia kaulana loa o ka mana o ka hopena halo ʻo Khlestakov mai The Government Inspector. Ua ʻae mua ka hui holoʻokoʻa iā ia ma ke ʻano he loiloi, me ka ʻike ʻole i ka ʻike ʻole a me nā hewa o kāna ʻano a me kāna mau ʻōlelo.
No ke aha i makemake ai ko mākou lolo i kēia hopena?
Me ka ʻole o ka hopena halo, e hāʻule wale nā ʻāpana o ka ʻoihana. "Inā ʻaʻahu wau i ka pants like me kēia wahine ʻoihana kūleʻa, e hana wau i ka manaʻo like!" Huli koke kahi mea hana Kina i mea hoʻohana (a piʻi aʻe kona kumukūʻai i nā haneli he nui) inā ʻike ʻia a kau ʻia e kahi hōkū a supermodel. ʻO kēia ke ʻano o ka hana ʻana.
Akā no ke aha e alakaʻi ai ko mākou lolo iā mākou i kahi pahele? I ko mākou ola a pau, pono mākou e hana i ka nui o ka ʻike. Pono mākou e hoʻokele me ka liʻiliʻi o ka ʻike, a no kēia pono mākou e hoʻokaʻawale i nā mea a puni a me nā kumuhana, e launa pū me lākou. Hoʻomaʻamaʻa ka hopena halo i kēia mau hana.
Inā i kēlā me kēia manawa mākou e nānā hohonu i ke kahawai holoʻokoʻa o ka ʻike a me nā mea hoʻoulu ʻē aʻe, e hele wale mākou
No laila ma ke ʻano, ʻo ka hopena halo kā mākou mea pale. Akā i ka manawa like, hoʻonele mākou iā mākou iho i kahi manaʻo ʻoi aku ka manaʻo, ʻo ia ka mea e kaupalena mākou i kā mākou hiki. A ʻo ka mea a mākou e "hoʻokomo ai" i ka halo e holo mau ana ka noho mau ʻana i ko mākou mau maka i ke kuleana a mākou i haku ai nona.
Pehea e lanakila ai i ka hopena halo?
Auwe, paʻakikī ka "hoʻopau" i ka halo, a pinepine hiki ʻole. Hiki iā mākou ke ʻike i kēia manawa i ko mākou manaʻo ponoʻī i kekahi a i kā mākou loiloi ponoʻī, akā i ka manawa aʻe e hāʻule ʻole mākou ma lalo o kāna mana. A ʻoiai ua ʻike mākou a pau i ka ʻōlelo “mai hoʻohewa i kahi puke ma kona uhi,” ʻo ia ka mea a mākou e hana pinepine ai.
Inā he mea koʻikoʻi a aloha ka mea a mākou i hāʻawi ai i ka halo iā mākou, ʻo ka antidote wale nō ka nānā ʻana i ko mākou manaʻo, hoʻoheheʻe iā ia i loko o kāna mau ʻāpana: e kuhikuhi i ke alakaʻi, hiʻohiʻona nui no ka halo a inoa i ke koena i hala i kā mākou ʻike. i ka hopena halo ma ka papa lua. ʻOi aku ka pono o ia ʻano hana no nā mana, HR-specialists e hoʻoholo i nā hoʻoholo limahana. No ka laʻana, ma Australia, ʻaʻole i hele pū ʻia nā kiʻi me nā kiʻi i ʻole e uhi ʻia ka ʻikepili o waho i ka mākaukau o ka mea noi.
ʻO ka hapa nui o mākou he poʻe koho pāloka, no laila, ʻaʻole pono mākou e kūʻai i ka hopena halo o nā poʻe kālai'āina, ʻoiai ma mua o ke koho balota, e hoʻāʻo e ʻike i ke ʻano maikaʻi, ākea a kuleana. A ma ʻaneʻi e hōʻiliʻili mākou i ka ʻike e pili ana i ka moho, i ʻole e lilo i mea hoʻopunipuni iā ia iho.
A ʻaʻohe mea e pale iā mākou mai ka ʻohi ʻana i ka ʻike e pili ana iā mākou iho a me kā mākou halo ponoʻī - e pili ana i ka ʻike ʻana o kekahi iā mākou.
Hiki iā mākou ke ʻōlelo ʻoiaʻiʻo ua ʻike mākou e pili ana i ke ʻano o ka hopena halo, a kono i ka interlocutor a i ʻole ka hoa hana e nānā hohonu iki ma lalo o kā mākou "nimbus" a hāʻawi iā mākou i kahi manawa e hōʻike i kā mākou mau ʻano āpau. Hoʻopau pinepine ka pololei a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Hiki iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo e pili ana i kā mākou makemake e nānā i nā maka o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a me nā mea e hiki ai iā mākou ke hana no kēia, akā ma ke ʻano e noho mau ai iā mākou iho.