Pehea e hana ai me kahi kamaʻilio huhū

Nā mea huna o ke kamaʻilio

He mea nui e makaala i ka leo o ko kakou leo, ke ku ana, ka hana, ke kulou o ke poo, ke ala o ka nana, ka hanu, ka helehelena a me ka nee ana. ʻO ke kunou, ʻakaʻaka, ʻakaʻaka, ʻakaʻaka, ʻae aku ("kaka", "ʻae"), hōʻike mākou i ka mea haʻiʻōlelo ke hoʻolohe maoli nei mākou i kāna ʻōlelo.

I ka pau ʻana o ke kamaʻilio ʻana o kekahi, e haʻi hou i kāna mau manaʻo nui ma kāu ʻōlelo ponoʻī. No ka laʻana: “Makemake au e wehewehe. Ua maopopo iaʻu ke kamaʻilio nei ʻoe… "He mea nui ʻaʻole e hana hou i kāna mau ʻōlelo e like me ka parrot, akā e hoʻokaʻawale iā ʻoe iho - kōkua kēia i ka hoʻokumu ʻana i kahi kamaʻilio a hoʻomanaʻo maikaʻi i ka mea i ʻōlelo ʻia.

Pono e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ka hoʻoikaika ʻana ma ka nīnau ʻana iā ʻoe iho: he aha kaʻu e hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻokō, he aha ke kumu o ke kamaʻilio - e lanakila i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa a i ʻole ka ʻike ʻana i kekahi? Inā makemake kekahi o nā mea kūkākūkā e hōʻeha i kekahi, hoʻohewa, hoʻopaʻi, hōʻoia i kekahi mea a hoʻokomo iā ia iho i kahi kukui maikaʻi, ʻaʻole kēia ke kamaʻilio, akā he hōʻike o ke kūlana kiʻekiʻe.

ʻO ka hoʻohewa a me nā hoʻopiʻi, me nā mea hoʻopunipuni, hiki ke pane ʻia me, no ka laʻana: "He weliweli loa ia!", "Ua maopopo iaʻu ua huhū ʻoe" a i ʻole "ʻAʻole i noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ia ʻano." Hōʻike wale mākou iā ia ua lohe ʻia ʻo ia. Ma kahi o ka ho'āʻo ʻana i nā wehewehe, ka hoʻopaʻi ʻana, a i ʻole ka hoʻomaka ʻana e pale iā mākou iho, hiki iā mākou ke hana ʻē aʻe.

Pehea e pane aku ai i kahi kamaʻilio huhū?

• Hiki iā mākou ke ʻae me ka mea kamaʻilio. No ka laʻana: "Manaʻo wau he paʻakikī ke kamaʻilio me aʻu." ʻAʻole mākou ʻae i nā ʻoiaʻiʻo āna i ʻōlelo ai, ʻae wale mākou he mau manaʻo kona. ʻO nā manaʻo (e like me nā loiloi a me nā manaʻo) he kumuhana-ʻaʻole i hoʻokumu ʻia i nā ʻoiaʻiʻo.
• Hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomaopopo ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu ka mea kamaʻilio: "He mea ʻoluʻolu ʻole ke hana ʻia kēia." ʻAʻole pono mākou e lōʻihi a paʻakikī e hōʻole i kāna mau hoʻopiʻi ʻana, e hoʻāʻo e loaʻa ke kala ʻia no kā mākou hana hewa ʻana iā ia. ʻAʻole pono mākou e pale aku iā mākou iho i nā hoʻopiʻi hoʻopunipuni, ʻaʻole ia he luna kānāwai, ʻaʻole mākou ka mea i hoʻopiʻi ʻia. ʻAʻole ia he hewa a ʻaʻole pono mākou e hōʻoia i ko mākou hala ʻole.
• Hiki iā mākou ke ʻōlelo, "ʻIke wau ua huhū ʻoe." ʻAʻole kēia he ʻae ʻana i ka hewa. Nānā wale mākou i kāna leo, ʻōlelo, a me kāna ʻōlelo kino a huki i kēlā hopena. Hoʻomaopopo mākou i kona ʻehaʻeha.
• Hiki iā mākou ke ʻōlelo, “E huhū paha ʻoe ke hiki mai kēia. Maopopo iaʻu iā ʻoe, e huhū pū kekahi iaʻu. Hōʻike mākou i ko mākou manaʻo nui iā ia a me kona mau manaʻo. Ma kēia ala, hōʻike mākou i ko mākou mahalo i kona kuleana e huhū, ʻoiai ʻoiai ua loaʻa iā ia kahi mamao loa mai ke ala maikaʻi loa e hōʻike ai i nā manaʻo.
• Hiki iā mākou ke hoʻomaha a kāohi i ko mākou huhū ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana iā mākou iho, "He aha ka ʻokoʻa. Ma muli o kāna ʻōlelo ʻana ʻaʻole ia i hoʻokō ʻia. ʻO ia wale nō kona manaʻo i kēlā manawa. ʻAʻole kēia he ʻoiaʻiʻo. ʻO kona manaʻo a me kona manaʻo wale nō."

ʻŌlelo e pane

• "ʻAe, i kekahi manawa me he mea lā pēlā."
• "Polopono paha ʻoe i kekahi mea."
• "ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu pehea ʻoe e kū ai."
• “He mea hoʻonāukiuki loa. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu ka mea e ʻōlelo ai».
• "He weliweli loa."
• "Mahalo no kou lawe ʻana mai i kēia i koʻu manaʻo."
• "Ua maopopo iaʻu e hiki mai ana ʻoe i kekahi mea."

Ke ʻōlelo nei ʻoe i kēia, e makaʻala ʻaʻole e kani hoʻohenehene, hoʻokuʻu, a hoʻonāukiuki paha. E noʻonoʻo ʻoe ua hele ʻoe ma ke kaʻa a nalowale. ʻAʻole ʻoe maopopo i hea ʻoe a ʻaʻole maopopo ʻoe i ka mea e hana ai. Kū a nīnau i nā kuhikuhi? Huli? Ke ʻimi nei i kahi e hiamoe ai?

Pioloke ʻoe, hopohopo a ʻaʻole maopopo i kahi e hele ai. ʻAʻole ʻoe i ʻike i ka mea e hana nei a no ke aha i hoʻomaka ai ka interlocutor e hoʻolei i nā hoʻopiʻi wahaheʻe. E pane mālie, mālie, akā i ka manawa like me ka maopopo a me ke kaulike.

E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Aaron Carmine he kanaka psychologist ma Urban Balance Psychological Services ma Chicago.